Hello! I just joined and I wanted to share these experiences on mushrooms as there are not many other places I could share where it would be within correct context.
To simply in conversational language: I've been on the 'awakening' path with great dedication for the last 10 years and on and off since I was about 7.
I really put off the psychonaut path for a long time out of stubbornness. About 6 months ago I decided what the hell. I would not mind speeding this up a bit lol
I started with the 'herioc dose'.
Now, I have been trying to master the mind for quite some time and it is even wrapped up in how I make a living. I transform people physically (reverse aging etc) this way. I was not happy that it took a good year to get undeniable proof and wanted to strengthen my ability....that was the point of my trip ...
HA
As you know you cant exactly boss the mushrooms around lol
Boy, was I disappointed when my entire trip was about the shadow side of the sacred masculine (Im a woman btw). I just had visions of every act done to me by a male that was disrespectful..... I felt shallow and disappointed...
Then I realized as the days went by after that first trip. I had no knowledge of this prior to the trip. I had was not viewing any of these actions as "bad" It was the biggest part of my shadow world and I didnt even know it.
I was still disappointed.
I started microdosing every day....things started changing. Anxiety lowered, depression lowered, lessons continued.
I started learning about the sacred masculine and sacred feminine - something I knew nothing about before this and had not cared too much about at all.
Duality started to make sense. The nature of consciousness was becoming more and more clear.
I started to get in touch with my sacred feminine (slowly at first)
About 3 months after the first trip I took a leap of faith dose---over 8 grams.
I wanted an ego death so badly. I did not make it. I didnt peak. I had a great time at first. I had multiple orgasms in which all I could do was laugh and laugh that "reality was fucking me" lol
Then it went down hill, as I came close to the ego death so had all the negative experiences but did not quite make it out.
Months went by....I learned more and more about the sacred masculine and feminine- lessons were coming up everywhere.
I started having physical sensations and finally googled them and I realized my shakti had awoken. My kundalini had started to rise. Now I was not looking for this and I dont even fully subscribe to that culture so it made it all very authentic feeling to me once I realized it. And Ive started doing kundalini yoga again to finish the process.
At this point, all my relationships have shifted, I have shifted, I can shift into God-conscious easier (Im not in it all the time yet as sometimes I react instead of respond to the outer world and I forget I am love.) But, I am in such a different space than before.
Im going to do another heroic dose this weekend- Id like to take this to the next level.
I also have DMT I want to use but have been putting off, does anyone have experience with it?
Anyway, that is my story -- mostly about how the benefits of the trips sometimes manifest over time and change us and how we never know what we are going to get but we will get what we need most. : D
Oh and does anyone have tips on how to push through to the ego death when you are close in a trip? Thanks!
