ActuallyConfused

In one of Leo's videos, Leo claimed to have done 2 Phd's worth of studying on his own. I see that being totally possible, as he is very knowledgeable on many topics. For the sake of the Actualized brand and credibility, why doesn't he actually "play the game" and get Phd's. Is he really, simply, beyond all that? Do we really think it wouldn't impact his credibility at all? Does he not want to yield to the authority of Big Academia, if only temporarily? Too busy with the channel? Just curious about the pros/cons that he thought through, as I'm sure he's put some, probably lots, of thought into this. @Leo Gura ?

I also got a notification, went to YouTube, and it said the video was private. Been looking forward to this video for a while.

@Egzoset I'm happy that legal weed is becoming more prominent. I can't promise that I won't ever indulge in it again. I've had a few months clean of weed, and indulged for a night. However, I indulged mindfully, and noticed that it was not a favorable state, at least for me. This is coming from someone who habitually smoked dusk till dawn, skipped breakfast, before and after every meal, before and after every event, for nearly 8 years. I respect the position that it's possible to smoke responsibly, in a controlled manner. I've had several months clean, relapsed for a night of indulgence, and mindfully noticed that I found myself in a less favorable state then being sober. I'm not swearing off weed. I'll probably smoke again at some point. I just recognize that it produces a suboptimal state of mind for me. It leaves me couch-bound, lazy, and content with not pursuing life forthrightly. If @Stratos is contemplating whether or not they are addicted, I'm purely recommending getting some distance from the substance to get a clearer vision of how the substance actually effects you. My girlfriend swore it helped with her stomach problems: she was sick all the time, threw up most mornings, anxiety and thoughts of being crazy, headaches. She used weed to help, because our culture says it helps with those things (and perhaps it does for some people) but after she quit, those symptoms vanished. 15 days is a relatively small amount of time to experience what sobriety can deliver. 15 days in to quitting weed, I was still having wild dreams/nightmares, anxiousness, boredom. Even 30 days wasn't a good judge of a sober experience. Really take the time to discover yourself without weed (or weed thoughts) entering your mind, and then by all means, experiment again if you feel comfortable. But consume mindfully. If you notice you're using it to mask some uncomfortable emotion, then I suggest cutting it out and finding a new means to cope or resolve that emotion. If you can consume, and honestly introspect and discover a true peace with the behavior, then continue to smoke. Be curious, be mindful, and be your best!!!

I too asked myself similar questions. I recognized that identifying as an addict was feeding my ego into believing I was one. I realized that my struggle with cannabis lasted only as long as I believed I was hooked. When I dropped the labels I placed on myself, and identified the behavior for how it made me feel, I noticed it was purely escapism. Addict or not, if you're experience is anything like mine, then your attachment to this drug is probably filling some void, masking your fears of doing more with your life by making you content with not doing something greater with your time. Let go of the idea that you're stuck, pay close attention to your feelings, and I'm sure you'll notice a positive improvement in your life after the withdrawals subside.

Is time an illusion? The past only appears in the present moment. The future only appears in the present moment. So, all I'm sure of is the present moment. And it seems like I'll always 100% only have the present moment. Intuitively, though, time feels like something. What is that feeling like? connection, or continuity? Am I creating time? What is eternity? How does this trace back to nothing? I guess I'm just curious about other people's understanding of time.

This will be long but thank you for taking the time to read. We're both 23, started dating in 2012, so over 7 years. daily weed smokers, but I talk about quitting almost daily, and we have quit in the past. I always seem to be the instigator of "getting sober". She feels like she can't quit "for herself", like I'm controlling. But, I've tried giving her support, I've tried talking about my experience, things that I learned through research. I tried giving her months at a time to find her own way of quitting, but I'm tired of sitting idle. When I build up the courage, I try to communicate how I feel about what I think my role in the relationship is, basically that we ought to look out for each other's health. Basically any time I talk about anything important or serious, it leads to arguments, flare-ups, and emotionally shutting down(on her part) and frustration(my part). I study philosophy and psychology, about to get both bachelor's degrees this coming semester. I love actualized.org, cuz it's where the wisdom is. But she'll never watch a single YouTube video I think would be super beneficial for her stress or anxiety or life in general. If she does, she's not interested or genuinely focused. She's afraid of learning, and she shuts down very easily. My dad has gone to AA meetings for over 35+ years, primed me in a lot of ways for understanding addiction and it's flaws, but also probably made it a bigger issue in my life than it had to be. Ultimately, I still "became addicted" to marijuana. I try not to use victim mentality, I accept that I have a unique set of challenges ahead of me. Her parents probably suffer from some pill addiction, but, there's also bouts of schizotypal behavior in her mom. Everyone thinks her mom has some degree of schizphrenia, which is very dysfunctional for the whole family. The mom always makes accusations of cheating, calling herself a whore, very inappropriate delusions. My girlfriend has a lot of fear of growing up like her mom, becoming crazy. My girlfriend dropped out of highschool, but got a GED. My dad tried to teach her how to drive, but they had little fender bender, and it's been really hard to get her to give it another chance. I get the sense that she is years behind me personal development-wise. But, dating her this long, I've always had a strong sense that she was different from her mom. If she could break out of her limiting beliefs, my girlfriend might be just a normal girl with little to worry about. For years, and even to today, I've had the deep belief that once we sober up, things could get so much better. This is undoubtedly true, but, I've quit on my own several times before. It's the waiting around for her to quit in her time that seems to drive me up the wall. I quit vaping back in August, and I've tried various approaches to helping her realize how much better her life would be if she quit too. She still has so much to learn, I don't know if my "helping" is robbing her of her own chance to learn through experience, or if I'm supposed to keep trying my best to help kickstart her personal development engine. All the struggle my dad went through to stop me from doing drugs never worked, so, why would it work when I try to do it, lol. Silly me. I truly feel like my most authentic self when I'm trying to inspire her to have a better vision for herself, but, she always detects that I have an "offensive tone", but, I think it's just a passionate tone. I've thought about recording a conversation, so I can hear myself, but she wouldn't approve. She's very defensive in nature, her home life was pretty chaotic so it makes sense, but, I'm not loud or chaotic like that at all. I'm authority to her, and I don't know how to reverse that. If I try to take 100% responsibility, her insecurities are still my problem to solve. Also, there's supposed relationships between marijuana and schizophrenia specifically, so, it just seems extra wise for her to quit. But, she's worried about stress and how her Irritable Bowel Syndrome is going to react to quitting. We don't really go to doctors or dentists cuz we've been too lazy I guess. I do all the driving, and I deliver pizzas all weekend, so, I get burnt out about doing everything outside of the house without help. I've always hoped that she'd one day experience some radical change, similar to how I've felt in my life, that gets her fully motivated to self actualize. I'm terrified of waiting forever, but, she's my best and only friend who knows so much about me. 8 years deep, we connect on a lot of levels. I'm not sure if they're all superficial, I really feel like I love her, but most of my days feel wasted and it feels like I'm missing out on a better life. Then I start thinking that, even if full blown schizophrenia were to develop in my girlfriend, I could try my best at navigating those waters. So, ideas as to what my order of operations could be? Discover my relationship standards, quit addiction to weed, quit addiction to my girlfriend, anything else? How to better figure out what I want? Do I quit the weed and let her continue to do drugs(weed) in my house when I try to quit, just trying to be a better version of myself? Thanks, hope this helps someone else somehow too