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About Madhur

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  • Birthday 12/08/2001

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  1. as a man i dont like doing this to her boyfriend, & honestly the way we talk i can see this situation between me & her going sexual in future. what would you say about that ?
  2. i am partially happy but i am worried about what next & also if i am doing something wrong
  3. @flowboy she just posted a photo with her boyfriend, she met him today. i am meeting her in 2 days. if it wasn't for corona we would be attending the same class together now. if i wait for things to get "real" i would lose so many things already. she is the only one that i met in the span of my 19 years of life that actually understands me. metaphysically too, the amount of synchronicities happened between us feels like a literal magic. i never felt this close to someone else in my life. @eaaaeaeae i already mentioned she loves me & i love her, i tried letting her go but i failed, she does not want me to go and i dont want it either.
  4. I do have her love but the fact that she is with someone else and that someone could have been if I would have done some things particularly, this is why I suffer & honestly I don't see any way around this suffering.
  5. Yes, we discussed the same thing, we decided to be true to our heart & just go with the flow. Although sometimes I start feeling insecure about this whole situation but it's her love that heals me through it.
  6. i am not sure, what should i do here. i love her, she loves me and we also express our love by saying i love you to each other and we both very well know how much this phrase mean. we have a very intimate sexual and emotional connection now (through calls) but sometimes i feel like i am wasting my time here by emotionally investing myself into this situation because she is already in a relationship with someone else, i feel jealous when we friends are face timing and my other friends tease her with her boyfriend, i feel like that could have been me, if things happened in my favor. but still my heart wants to love her regardless of the situation, i tried going away from her but every time i end up loving her more and more. she does not want to leave me either. she is also in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend and they also haven't met yet, but we(me & her) are meeting for the first time ever, in a few days. she will be meeting her boyfriend first and then me, we both have a 6 hours train journey planned together and we both are excited for it.
  7. there is this girl from my college that i haven't met yet because of the lockdown but we know each other for 8 months and i fell in love with her after few months of talking, and she also had feelings for me but i had relationship issues during that time so i asked her to give me some time to sort this out and she agreed, in the meantime because of some communication gap she started to think i was loosing interest in her and out of nowhere she started to date someone and she told me about him after a week and i was not ready for that, it hit me hard.....long story short i confront everything to her and she also did and we both realized where the miscommunication happened but now that she is in a relationship with someone else she confessed that she still loves me and i already loved her but she also loves his boyfriend and she doesn't want to leave him and at the same time she doesn't want to lose me, and i can assure that she is not the girl who takes advantage of my feelings, her love is so pure. in fact our love became stronger and we developed more intimate connection after we cleared out our miscommunication. issue is i can't see her with someone else and she really seem happy with him, i really love her i want her in my life but given the situation i dont see that happening and it is eating me out alive, any advice would be appreciated.
  8. @Rilles how do you deal with it ?
  9. @Elevated i do not impose any idea or concepts to people cuz i know not everybody is interested in whatever i am in, my only problem is i that i tend to lost myself in thinking about how I'll be explaining things to people rather than focusing on the content i am consuming, and it happens too often & I missed out so much content in the mean time, i have to get my awareness back to the content, telling my mind that this is important and not how you'll be explaining to people.
  10. @hyruga yeah i do like explaining things, though i am not very good at it haha.
  11. Whenever i am consuming any types of content, i often find my mind projecting this idea that, you'll be explaining this concept to your friends & teachers and they will get amused by the knowledge you present, I imagine myself to the point that I am just copying the same words from the og creator and telling it to my friends & teachers. For instance i was watching leo's 9 stages of ego development video and I noticed my mind imagining that some day I'll explaining this to my psychology class and I get so sucked up in this that my mind is less focused in the content and more focused in how I'll be presenting this to my class and I have to back my mind to the content. I don't understand why this happen, it's not even that that I am consuming knowledge to just impress people, I love gaining knowledge and I do care about the truth but this behaviour of my mind gets in the way. I tried to explore and find what is this behaviour but I am not getting anywhere, What is this behaviour ? Is this people pleasing ? And how do I overcome it ?
  12. i realised that the pain was because of my all day sitting posture, i have been spending most of my time sitting because of the lockdown and i think it could be the reason of that pain, but i started working out and also i am doing the body awareness relaxation from leos video and it is helping.
  13. why do we need passion in life ? is follow your passion a good advice ? What if someone is passionate about something but naturally not good at it ?
  14. Is lower back pain at the age of 19 something to concerned about ? I don't feel constant pain but i do have it once in a sometimes if i am sitting still(meditating, having meals etc) it suddenly starts paining(sometimes with a sudden jerk) and also sometime after waking up from sleep it starts paining, mostly the pain is not severe and it does go away in some time. just wanted to know if anybody had something like this and if it is something to seriously look after.
  15. Imo faith should not matter if the god is absolute.