TheSelf

@Leo Gura great advices! Definitely will not be waiting for her since I'm gonna make myself miserable this way. But how should I treat her in the meantime seeing her in the group? I just ignored her today while having fun and talkings with other friends and this was a bit heart breaking thing to do. Would it be okay to have some casual conversations here and there once per week or manage it in a way to not see her at all or like once per month? While having that space she could miss me this way and this is good, right?

@NoSelfSelf right, I thought about that too, I couldn't make the setting for that to happen, I'm just really friendly with everyone, but it could've happened in the next date, obviously you don't kiss everyone in the first date,do you? So I dont know if I messed it up or she is really really not ready for a relationship like she said.

Something I'm still a bit struggling to understand which is not really simple I know.. Is the past real or I am literally like fucking literally imagining every single moments that I "believe" to have experienced in the past? Please don't simply respond like "the past is imaginary" cause you never act based on this in your day to day life... No mental gymnastics here, I'm trying to know the truth about this subject.

This is so damn radical... How this can be integrated in day to day life since consciousness working hard to support the game and the illusion especially through others? Like when you only hear someone speaking to you in another room and not seeing him or her, are you highly conscious that that voice is all that there's and there's no person who is doing the act of speaking and so that that's why you can hear it? Like literally!?

Dude! This is literally your direct experience! Can you experience the past? No! you can only believe in your thoughts regarding past experiences! So if you drunk a glass of water a few moments ago, that actually didn't happen, you can only believe the thought which suggests it happened. I know this is so damn radical, but consider the possiblity that this actually might be the truth.

Anything in your perception, that includes your senses, thoughts (not what thoughts suggests you to believe but just the experience of the thought) and wherever else.

I'm looking for Absolute Truth regarding this subject, either it's real or unreal, I believe talking about a relative POV is just another mental game. What's the Truth? The truth beyond the mind game? That's what I'm looking for.

You cannot say the past happens or is real, because all you've got is the present moment and you can never experience the past, if the present moment is the Absolute Truth then there's no past, you have never experienced anything in your life in the past, all that there's in the now for you is the Truth.

@ZzzleepingBear I guess my struggle about the past being imaginary truth is how well the present moment stuff or other people fully support it. Also I'm looking for Absolute Truth regarding this subject, either the past experiences is absolutely imaginary and unreal, meaning you have never had any experiences and your thoughts about it is false or its real.

@Anahata Thank you for your response I'm fully aware of all these, I'm fully aware that when I'm thinking about the past it's happening in the now, I'm that which is holding the entire past in my consciousness, but I still believe I'm experiencing stuff, don't tell me that you are fully integrated this truth because of course in your day to day life you do and act based on the thoughts you have about the past. One more thing is that the stuff in the present moment fully support the thoughts about your experiences in the past, for example you may have drunk a glass of cold water just a few moments ago, you still feel some coldness in your mouth, you are no longer thirsty all because just a few moments ago you have had that experience, is this imaginary to you? Really? Stuff in the present moment fully support the past experiences this makes it absolutely hard to fully integrate or understand the truth about the past.

God disorder.

I've seen a while ago, I have zero doubt that the directors of this movie had at least a few fucking intense psychedelic experiences and God-realizations. Such a damn good spiritual and well made movie about infinity.

@Topspin715 you need a realization to notice the thoughts. Sit and do nothing for any period of time you're comfortable, you'll eventually realize that everything is known by you including the contents of your mind.

Yeah, I just realized I blocked it long ago, it's working now, thanks!

Hey guys, As title suggests, Is there any chrome notification we can activate?

I'm watching Leo's solipsism video and guided exercise one, for the past few nights plus I have years of meditation experience, awakened Kundalini and I'm am superbly introvert individual. Man my sense of external world and others got a lot emptier and shallow not that I don't like it, for whatever reason I'm enjoying it ? Last night I had a little glimpse to crazy solipsistic insights of one of my insane mushroom trip which I totally forgot and the trip was very challenging to handle. Like it literally changed my state of consciousness (not in a crazy way but was promising), and I could remember some shits from my last trip which was more than a year ago which I couldn't normally remember and it feels like this is how I should do the work, deconstruct my mind untill I feel I'm about to totally lose my mind and go insane but how to handle the terror of losing your mind? I want to go as deep as possible into this work but losing your mind is unimaginably fucking hard to handle, I still remember how I desperately prayed to God, Jesus, etc and basically whoever who could hear me to save my ass from dying in 3.5 grams of penis envy lemon tek. Like literally I was crying and l was willing to do anything to be saved (you know how real this experience is if you ever got high dose of shrooms). I cannot imagine I can experience that shit again, but still I want to do this work and I'm serious about it. @Leo Gura Do you totally lose your shit and literally die in every trip to reach God really?

Its been almost 4 years which I've activated my Kundalini it's been with me ever since, and just got stronger and more powerful not in an pleasant way... I stoped my spiritual practises a while ago which I love because the energy goes creazy and causes hallucinations and constant lose of consciousness which is not pleasant really. Does anybody know how to completely shutdown Kundalini energy or get it under total control to bring some ease to the body? Is it possible?

Not in site, and for the topic you're subscribed to.

So isn't these temporary losing mind makes it easier and easier overtime to get you to a point which it's a totally normal thing, cause you know everything will be fine at the end? Don't you find this beneficial? Like you may take 10 grams of mushroom and it will be like having an intense amazing experience rather insanely challenging and scary to death.

Exactly, the energy is indeed intelligent, I can easily get sleep and I've never had any problem in the past few years. It's just that I'm superbly introvert person and love the energy that I get from pure awareness space in silence, I just want to be able to somehow control it to never really disturb me in my spiritual or relaxing activities. Just like you said its totally fine in any other activities.

It's just energy and energy flow where the mind concentrate, for example if I focus on my arm all the energy will flow there and I experience relief in my spine but once I stop doing so it will back to the spine, very simple. Its just energy and not a sentient being.

It can take up to a decade for a full blown Kundalini experience, but indeed at least partially can shut it down forcefully.

Basically if I don't meditate or do any kind of relaxing activity like reading books in silence, I'm totally fine with the normal energetic activity of Kundalini, no pain nothing disturbing really. But I love meditation and reading books, I love to sit in silence and bask myself in the pure consciousness, awareness empty space, but all these give rise to Kundalini and can get intense sometimes, these days it's ok.

@Raphael any reiki healer can do that? also I have some level of control over my energy can I do it myself though I don't know enough about reiki

Do you have any psychedelic experiences? You sound like you don't. You can reach some totally unknown and different states of consciousness in which "you" are literally gone! So basic self-help, male energy and all that are gone when you experience a real ego-death you don't even know who what you are how you end up being here.