Amandine

What do you mean by this? How is it selfish?

Just say F**k it! At 20, I said F**k it to the ciggies, and stopped smoking just like that from one day to the next. In December I said F**k it to the aperitifs, and stopped drinking just like that from one day to the next. And last night, I said F**k it to the ghosts, and stopped them just like that from one day to the next. Nothing's gonna control me! Not that I've ever actually seen any ghosts. Or ever had the slightest paranormal experience. But last night was the first time I went for a pee in the middle of the night in the pitch dark without turning a single light on. Bloody stubbed my toe though (said F**k it! to that too), but it's all good, I'm dealing with my life-long ghost phobia which is the main thing. Until now, I've only ever needed to just turn one light on, on my way to the loo. But after starting meditation and listening to most of Leo's meditation videos, I soon got to the one called "The Dark side of Meditation": 26:12 You might actually see angels and demons, again not imagined but like standing before you completely real, as real as I look to you now, but it's going to be an angel or a fucking demon like out of a movie. 26:30 You might see gods, deities, giant crawling insects, praying mantis people, spirit animals that talk to you, try to tell you things or maybe that try to kill you, try to claw at you. 26:45 You might see entities, you might see aliens, you might feel like you're being channeled by some sort of extraterrestrial or that you're getting abducted or probed and all these experiences are not just like mere dreams, like a nightmare. It can be a lot more realistic feeling and looking than that. Don't know about you lot, but that scared the bejesus out of me. Since hearing that, I've been blazing my way to the loo every night with every motherf**king light on. Gonna send Leo my electricity bill, ha. It might sound irrational to some people to be phobic about something I've never seen or perhaps doesn't even exist, lol. My catholic upbringing probably had something to do with it, going on about the holy ghost all the time. But mostly it was my dad who frightened us when we were kids. He used to threaten to lock us up in the attic with the ghosts and witches if we were naughty. He even had names for them, Brenda, Bertha, ... Discovered years later that's where he'd kept all his bags of porno mags. Go figure! He obviously wanted to frightened everyone away from ever snooping around up there. And succeeded. The damage has been done, the phobias created and anchored deep. But the phobia was busted last night by sheer F**k it! determination. I simply asked myself what would be the worst possible scenario if I ever saw a ghost? And decided that I'll just deal with it head on (excuse the pun) when and if it happens. Like tell it to f**k the hell off out of my apartment for starters. Or scream out loud or something. Which ironically I ended up doing anyway after stubbing my toe in the dark. So yeah, progress is being made step by baby step. I apologize in advance for all the profanities in this text, but the F**k it! message is a spiritual one.

Like little old chatterbox me, I feel like you too could talk the hind legs off a donkey, lol! We probably all have a book inside of us waiting to be written. https://podcast.mindvalley.com/tucker-max-writing-a-best-selling-book-in-record-time/ I've just discovered this Mind valley site (Leo's always said to vary your sources), and just signed up for 2 of their free masterclasses, I've never done it before so have no idea what to expect. I programmed one for 4pm on Sunday and one for 4pm on Monday.

Day 8: Today's weight: ?kgs (didn't weigh in ) Weight loss so far after 6 days: 1kg (2.2 lbs) ? Weight loss to go: 6.2kgs (13.6 lbs) left to go Starting weight: 62.2kgs (136.8 lbs) Goal weight: 55kgs (121 lbs) Total weight to lose: 7.2kgs (15.8 lbs) Daily limit: 1,600 calories Weight loss rate: 1 lb a week Date goal weight: end April Today I'm gonna integrate another 16:8 Intermittant fast (8.20am to 4.20pm). As well as my 20' meditation, affirmations and daily chapter of "As a Man Thinketh", today I'm also going to be re-reading "You can Heal your Life" and "Love is letting go of Fear". * 8am Pre work-out coffee 87c Cappuccino 87 * Indoor bike (25 mins) burned 200 cals * 11am Breakfast (muesli) 375c 10g organic unsalted cashew nuts (623) 62 + 15g organic dried juicy apricots (231) 34 + 10g Bjorg organic sugarfree muesli (367) 36 + 10g organic sugar-reduced granola (437) 43 + 10g organic oatbran (359) 35 + 5g organic chia seeds (449) 22 + 100g organic fresh forest fruits (55) 55 + 200g organic soy milk (46) 88 Total cals so far today: 87c+375=462c * 3pm Lunch (croque monsieur) 821c 2g olive oil (900) 18 + 153g wholemeal bread (270) 413 + 22g cheese (352) 77 + 10g organic chorizo (498) 49 + 15g blue cheese (361) 54 + 388g organic orange juice (54) 210 Total cals so far today: 87+375+821=1,283c 317c left for the rest of the day. * 4pm Snack (coffee and cake) 316c Made another awesome chickpea cake Recipe: 500g jar cooked chickpeas (119) 595 + 7 (340g) organic eggs (146) 496 + 1 cup (125g) ground almonds (658) 822 + 2 (16g) sachets baking powder (76) 12 + salt/sucralose = 1,925 whole cake (divided by 940g = 2 cals the gram) Latte macchiato 80 + 118g chickpea cake 236 That last meal will be followed by 16 hours of fasting. Total cals so far today: 87+375+821+316=1,599c ? Indoor bike (20 mins) burned 200 cals (had planned to do more cycling, not so well organised today)

He loves his cars too (check out his lamborghini, lol). I love the way he's got this huge beaming smile when he talks. How does he do that, lol? He even manages to smile in the morning routine video when he's taking an ice cold shower! Google's your friend here. The good thing is you've identified a pattern within you that seems to be attracting this kind of behaviour from certain people. As you change and work on yourself, you will naturally start to attract a better class of people into your life. It requires strength and consistency in keeping the bad ones, the users, (especially the thieves!) out. Don't feel bad. You'll probably find useful articles on the net by googling things like: * how to tell if someone is genuine? * setting boundaries in relationships * building-assertiveness https://psychcentral.com/blog/building-assertiveness-in-4-steps/ I like this site psychcentral, I was doing some tests on there yesterday (they've got loads) and scored really high on the ADHD quiz! I'm so ditsy! But I scored really well on the "sanity score", showing that my mental health is very good. It's clear you have good organisation skills. Well done on reflecting on improving your study/learning organisation and getting some good inventory photos done! ? Hope your meditation went better yesterday, and good luck on the fasting! ?

Yes, it's great for that. Good analysis. ? Thanks buddy.

Just discovered this guy this morning, he's so smiley, I loved listening to his meditation youtube video, he's inspirational, and has come such a long way, he started off flipping burgers! https://www.iamcreator.com/mastersriakarshana/

Day 7: Today's weight: 61.2kgs (134.6lbs) ? Weight loss so far after 6 days: 1kg (2.2 lbs) ? Weight loss to go: 6.2kgs (13.6 lbs) left to go Starting weight: 62.2kgs (136.8 lbs) Goal weight: 55kgs (121 lbs) Total weight to lose: 7.2kgs (15.8 lbs) Daily limit: 1,600 calories Weight loss rate: 1 lb a week Date goal weight: end April Yesterday was a bit difficult in the evening, I really felt like giving in and felt I could really do with eating a bit more, but I resisted. ? Today I'm actually gonna have a day off. It's Date Night tonight (= weakly cheat meal). I'd normally have 1,200 calories for the rest of the day on Date night. But exceptionally I'm not going to count them fastidiously today. I made a great vegetarian aubergine feta gratin the other day, I calculated all the calories for the different ingredients, but then forgot to weigh the final dish, so don't know how many calories it contains. My hubby's been eating it on his own, he really loves it, and it smells great, so I'd really like a taste of it before it disappears, for at least one meal, lol. So for lunch today I'm going to have a serving, but I'll be more careful next time to calculate the calories of the finished product! I'll be back on track tomorrow though and will try and do a bit more indoor bike today and tomorrow to compensate. The intermittant fasting definitely seems to give an added boost to the calorie counting, I like the 2 together. * 7am Tea and Cake 340c 150g chickpea cake 340 * 7.30am Pre work-out coffee 87c Cappuccino 87 * Indoor bike (30 mins) burned 270 cals * 12.30pm Lunch (vegetarian aubergine feta gratin salad and dessert) 100g lettuce (17) 17 + 10g mayo (661) 66 + 40g onion (40) 16 + vegetarian aubergine feta gratin + organic buckwheat grains + 260g organic orange juice (54) 140 + finished off chickpea cake (150g? all gone now) + latte machiatto 80 Dinner 1/2 bottle wine, petits fours/appetizers, starter, (small) main fish, (small) main meat, bread, dessert, mignardises Ha, way to go from a famine to a feast in the blink of an eye! Hope that doesn't undo all my good work, I won't obviously be weighing myself for the next 2 days, lol

Aw thanks @Average Investor I appreciate the encouragement. ? Yeah, looks like water's the only thing I'm allowed, lol.

@Average Investor Ha, nice lapse of the tongue there, I'm sure you meant monkey mind. Ha, it's crazy how every day on your journal I find something else I can really relate to. I hope you don't mind me saying, but we seem very much alike, lol! This over-giving/over-sharing to others describes me to a tee, I'm a people-pleaser and much too generous with others, but it makes the relationship unbalanced and a bit one-sided, because I invariably end up giving much more, too much. It could be to do with boundary issues and the unhealthy co-dependent relationship I developed with my mum as a kid. But by being conscious of how I behave compulsively like that with others and trying to change it, I've actually been making great strides and learning a lot on how to improve all that little by little. My hubby helps me a lot in that department, he gives me good advice. So because of my over-giving nature, as well a being a bit of a perfectionist, I prefer not to encourage or nurture relationships with others too much. I prefer my own time and my own company much more anyway, it makes life much easier and I have more energy. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually great with people, chatty, sociable, happy, charming, friendly, entertaining, etc, people seem to love me, I can even be the life and soul of the party, and people seem attracted to me and my personality, but I feel a bit drained by them sometimes, probably cos I feel compelled to give so much of myself, I definitely always put myself in the Giving role, but I overdo it, I always give too much, I can't help it. But I'm definitely learning to improve. I like having people around though, I could never go off to live in a hut in the woods by myself or a big house with no neighbours, I love being in the hurly burly of life, but the fewer social obligations and people I have "sticking to me" in my life, the better. I like people, but at a distance, lol. I really cherish my freedom, man. I've answered the Briggs myers test on the Personality Hacker website twice now and both times I get the same result : ISFJ (Introversion (I), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), Judgment (J) I'm definitely a loner, but I love being one, I never feel lonely, I much prefer to be by myself than with others, I just find other people sometimes not worth my time, and find relationships even a bit complicated and time-wasting. It might seem strange for you to hear this, but all my life I've only ever had one real friend (a good quality one), and that's always been enough for me. I've always preferred to spend my time growing and learning and developing my self. Now I'm married, my hubby's more than enough for me, I don't need anyone else, any girl friends, I just can't be bothered with people, and much prefer animals, they're so much easier for me, lol. I don't care if anyone here judges me when they read that, I'm an introvert type and I know what I like best. Even here at home, I've got my own room and hubby (introvert type too on the Briggs myers test) has his man cave, haha. What I think is good @Average Investor is that a lot of your toxic past relationships and old freeloaders have left you alone and don't hassle or bother you now, even though you're still in the same town, and they seem to respect that you don't reply to their calls, etc without putting pressure on you or "stalking" you. I feel I could chat to you all day till the cows come home haha. ******* I love though how you're becoming more and more self-aware each day of different things. I understand the workaholic mindset, I've always been like that too. I think it's really practical and pragmatic you're able to live at your mum's too at the moment, especially if you get on ok together, that'll save you a big chunk, I don't see anything wrong with that, so many young people are doing it today. You actually chip in too which is more than others sometimes do. You seem to be acquiring quite a few strings to your bow, that'll come in good use when you need them, and you come across as autodidactic, willing to learn and passionate about stuff at the same time, like the cars, climbing, personal development, etc, you're not easily phased by the hard graft. Life coaching could be a really interesting avenue for you, with the possibility of integrating business coaching, dating coaching, nutrition/fitness coaching components, etc. By the way, well done on the meditation and the fast today, you're doing great. And good luck on the reading and getting things done next. ? I love the 3 daily things you're grateful for. It's true we're lucky living in awesome times with all this knowledge at our fingertips on the internet. ? Ha, and I can even have some virtual friends where I don't even have to get dressed first and do my make-up and hair to be able to chat to them, I'm still in my PJs, lol. Geez, just realised I'm writing more in your journal than mine, sorry about that, I get bloody carried away each time, I'm gonna head over to mine now.

Well done! ? Good news! ? Must be a huge garage though to have stored 6 cars at one point, lol! Good luck with your progress on these goals. ?

Day 6: Today's weight: 61.3kgs (134.8lbs) ? Weight loss so far after 5 days: 900g (2 lbs) ? Weight loss to go: 6.3kgs (13.8 lbs) left to go Starting weight: 62.2kgs (136.8 lbs) Goal weight: 55kgs (121 lbs) Total weight to lose: 7.2kgs (15.8 lbs) Daily limit: 1,600 calories Weight loss rate: 1 lb a week Date goal weight: end April Today I'm gonna integrate another 16:8 Intermittant fast (8am to 4pm). The last 2 days were difficult, Monday because I was baking (tasting for seasoning, licking spoons/bowls, etc) and yesterday I felt like eating something during the 16-hour fasting window. Glad I didn't though, ha I didn't have any calories left anyway even if I'd wanted to. Been reading and learning about guardian angels and energy fields/chakras and stuff this morning. I see they have some weekend seminars scheduled this year in France for energy healing, will do some research. * 8am Pre work-out coffee 87c Cappuccino 87 * Indoor bike (33 mins) burned 300 cals * 10am Breakfast (muesli) 375c 10g organic unsalted cashew nuts (623) 62 + 15g organic dried juicy apricots (231) 34 + 10g Bjorg organic sugarfree muesli (367) 36 + 10g organic sugar-reduced granola (437) 43 + 10g organic oatbran (359) 35 + 5g organic chia seeds (449) 22 + 100g organic fresh forest fruits (55) 55 + 200g organic soy milk (46) 88 Total cals so far today: 87+375=462c * 1pm Lunch (croque monsieur salad) 813c 100g Iceberg lettuce (17) 17 + 120g tomato (18) 21 + 50g bell pepper (20) 10 + 50g cucumber (14) 7+ 40g onion (40) 16 + 15g mayo (661) 99 + 1g olive oil (900) 9 + 76g wholemeal bread (270) 205 + 22g cheese (352) 77 + 10g organic chorizo (498) 49 + 15g mustard (245) 36 + 20g Nori algae sheets (300) 60 + 20g avocado (160) 32 + 325g organic orange juice (54) 175 Total cals so far today: 87+375+813=1,275c 325c left for the rest of the day. * 3.45pm Snack (coffee and cake) 325c Latte macchiato 80 + 107g chickpea cake 245 OMG, I so wanted another piece of cake, like right after. Just have to resist until tomorrow. That last meal followed by 16 hours of fasting. Total cals so far today: 87+375+813+325=1,600c ? Indoor bike (33 mins) burned 300 cals ?

No, the movies in their entirety are freely available for anyone to watch. I bought an Actifry this Summer and want to try creative recipes like no-fat donuts, churros, samosas, falafels, etc. I've never in my life owned a deep fat fryer, and like the idea of reduced-fat recipes. Thank you, it's great this forum is so active, when we throw a question out there, we're sure to get some great replies. Don't hesitate to ask for my help on anything either, although I'm like way down below where you're at self-actualized speaking! Yeah, at least then I'll be able to get into my frigging wardrobe that's behind the pile, lol! Just gonna put the whole lot on Vinted.

@Average Investor Thanks for the video, wow, I've never seen anything like that before, we don't have anything like that over here. Fascinated I went on to watch a couple of other youtube videos and saw bikes, books, sofas, everything in some outlets! One girl said about 75% of customers are resellers and sometimes people might even steal stuff out of your cart so cover it with a sheet, lol. And to watch out for any spider ants or black widows! It's funny how you pay by the pound in weight, whether it be a designer handbag or a dirty jumper. I bet some people are really happy there though. I sure can understand how you can get some great inventory in those kind of places! I don't understand the video title "fighting over clothes" though, I didn't see any guys fighting over any stuff, those people in the video actually look good-humoured, humble and harmless enough, maybe even quite poor and needy. Don't see why the person filming wants to give them a bad name, there's no-one scrapping or anything, lol. I bet they'd be offended if they knew they were in his youtube video without their knowledge with an offensive title like that, you couldn't film them like that here in France. To me, it just looks like innocent people sifting through clothes looking for bargains, actually in a civilised and good-natured manner (as dignified as you can in such a situation), I personally don't see anything wrong with what they're doing. I'd prefer to see used and second-hand clothes being recycled and finding a new lease of life than people always wanting brand new frigging stuff each time, there are way too many sweat shops and foreign child labour factories already as it is with the constant demand for brand new clothes every time, I'm all into re-using and recycling whatever's already out there, so good on them. What I hate is seeing people actually physically fighting dog-eat-dog over a frigging new tv or new washing machine or brand new video game the 1st days of the big supermarket sales.

Do you classify oil as low quality food? If so, what kind of oil do you use? And what will you replace the oil with (and still get the healthy fats in)? avocado? Or just reduce the quantity of oil a bit to solve the "pore problem"? Ha, since I discovered Leo's videos and this site exactly a month ago, I have still not got around to a pile of stuff (clothes, shoes, bags, jewellery, etc) I have to put online to sell (equivalent to ebay or Craig's list), it's been the next thing on my Priority To-do list for a month now, but I haven't got round to it yet cos I've been so frigging obsessed with everything on this site, lol. My stuff is all in a respectable tidy pile in the corner of my bedroom (thank God hubby is a good egg, the patient sort), but it's still a frigging mountain pile of suitcases and shoe boxes that's eyeballing me everyday, I've been procrastinating with it cos I can't stand the idea of all the tedious listing, taking photos, etc (groan). And cos I'm a perfectionist, I will of course have to write attractive ads with eye-catching, flattering photos, all time-guzzling as hell. Ha, if you see me writing less on here, at least you'll know I've probably started dealing with the crap! I'm just dying to tick it off the list so I can get on with the rest of the stuff that needs doing, lol. Like the Good stuff! Personal development, etc I really suck at time-managment and am really good at procrastinating. That's why you inspire me, you seem to get things done! ? What I'm going to do is just pick a day soon and just get the listing done before anything else and make sure it all gets done on that day, so zero distractions. Just say F**k it!, let's just do this!" That's how I get my stuff done usually.

What would doing something creative look like to you? More climbing or anther sort of activity? Well done! ? ? What's it like to be in an amazing state with meditation? What does it feel like? I honestly can't even imagine it yet.

I did a massive 24+ mile 17+ hour long mountain climb adventure that was life changing. Awesome, man! ? ? I've actually read everything you've written already a few days back, but didn't have time to reply to it before, so just trying to respond a bit now. I love watching climbing films, I've watched loads of them. Some I've seen include "Everest", Touching the Void, The Dawn Wall, 127 Hours, Mountain, etc Have you seen any of them? Most of them are now available on youtube. Those guys never cease to amaze me. Wouldn't like to be married to one of them though, lol.

His behaviour stinks of passive agressiveness. I hate it when people suddenly become hot and cold on you, and expect you to read their minds because of some petty resentment or other. I just avoid those kind of people as much as possible, I find them kinda toxic. It's inevitable in life you're going to be treading on people's toes, even with the best intentions. You're not perfect, nobody is, you actually come across as a lovely warm and caring person who is respectful of others, so learning (like me) not to care so much will stand you in good stead. I've had to learn the hard way too, because I hate hurting or upsetting anyone, I'm always second guessing myself, did I say or do something to annoy them?, but with time, I've learnt to say F**k that, life's too short, I'm moving on, man, I can't keep tip-toeing and pussy-footing around others, kissing their ass, walking on egg shells all my life because other people's egos are so fragile and they prefer to hold onto grudges and resentments, that's their choice. So thanks for sharing that @Average Investor I hear exactly what you're saying and have been through that with people, so F**k 'em all!! I remember once when I was getting a facial in a beauty salon, and was relaxing while the beautician was massaging my face. She said it was good I was so calm and relaxed. I asked isn't everyone when they're getting a facial?, she replied no, most women want to confide in her about their problems when they're there. She said 90% of her clients' problems are about worrying too much about how they come across to other people, how others see them, what others think of them. It really opened my eyes, I was surprised, I'd always thought only a minority of people-pleasing neurotics like me did that. Her saying that actually helped me, and I kinda made a pledge to myself from that day on, not to be in that 90%. It comes to a point where that's it, one just has to stop worrying and ruminating about others and their fickle moods, tetchy temperaments and lack of a sense of humour. It's a jungle out there, man. Best to invest in peace of mind, and carry on looking after yourself with tender loving care, self-love and compassion. I now actually care more about what I think about myself, that's what counts the most. Ha, even Leo has mentioned a few times having to struggle a bit with this problem, people-pleasing and stuff. In the meantime, you can always try this quiz and see how evolved with "F**k It!" you really are: https://www.thefuckitlife.com/hfiru-2-quiz/ The guys on this websit say "F**k It therapy" is therapeutic and even spiritual. It doesn't mean "anything goes" or that we can be insensitive or act like anarchists, we still get to reflect on how we could have possibly done better and learn lessons from a given situation. Teach us to care and not to care - T.S. Eliot But saying "F**k It!" to what others think of us is a key part of feeling freer. ? I actually also said "F**k It!" to the wine in December and stopped my daily aperitifs just like that. I did the same for cigarettes and just stopped smoking from one day (a packet a day) to the next (zero cigs) with a loud resounding "F**k It!" It's powerful stuff. There's nothing like freedom, man, and no longer being controlled or a slave to something.

Perspective is everything. I try to strike a good balance between on the one hand being thrifty and resourceful and on the other hand being honest and true to myself (less greedy, selfish, materialistic, etc). But if I really wanted something that someone else wanted and I decided to keep it for myself, I would try not to have too many qualms about it if I decided to keep it but remind myself that I am worthy of good things too, I have value too. So I also try to strike a balance between avoiding regret afterwards (if I had decided to give it away) and having a good conscience at the same time. After all you gotta be able to look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day. There are though some things that really disgust me, like when I see on tv the first day of the sales with everyone charging into the shops trampling over each other, scrapping to get the best deal, grabbing everything, it horrifies me when humans act like animals, I would never be in a grab-grab situation like that, too ugly and soul-destroying. Haha, having said that, my way used to be craftier, for example, back in the day if I saw something I really wanted on ebay, I would auction for it at the very last second which is downright pretty sneaky because the last bidder probably thought it was theirs for the taking with zero other bidders, and then I came along at the 11th hour and "won the prize". But of course if I had bidded earlier it would have bumped the price up, which I was obviously avoiding, duh. However, I didn't like the adrenalin rush from bidding at the last minute "living life on a knife edge" so weaned myself off bay. So yeah, sometimes I don't see the wood for the trees and end up scrimping and saving over frigging peanuts, and even go back to the shop if I see a little discrepancy or error on my grocery bill, but then I'm perfectly okay with going out on date night once a week with hubby and spending over 100 dollars on just one meal. Or giving my sister or sister-in-law all that money with no qualms, lol. It's easy to do stuff when you feel pleasure and passion. I've always loved animals, they have no voice and depend on us so much. I think I actually prefer them to people, lol. My husband does a lot of charity work too, as well as his full-time job, he gives a lot of his time for others. He's always earned a really good salary (he's also been able to work at home for years now, which is awesome). I used to earn a really good salary too but hubby always said I didn't have to work if I didn't want to, it's up to me. To be honest, I only worked in order to make money, it wasn't to fulfill any life passion, or to have a social life, etc. And actually we used to pay a hell of a lot of tax being "Dinks" (Double Income, No Kids), alas it's one of the biggest tax brackets here. So I was really grateful at not having to work, this is the luxury and freedom that money can bring. My husband has always enjoyed and preferred working, but to me there's nothing better than having your own free time. I sometimes think though that I've remained such a bargain hunter because I feel guilty at no longer bringing any of the money in. But I do really love having all this time just for me, I'm really bad at time management and like to do things nice and slowly, when I read I like to digest things and assimilate them well, and I don't have a perfect memory and am easily distracted so have to read stuff sometimes more than once and make notes, so it's great having time for all that, I love doing research and learning, getting all the details and nitty gritty, there's so much I want to do, to know, to learn, to improve, I've rarely been bored in my life. My friends used to tell me they'd be afraid of being home 24/7 cos they'd probably be raiding the fridge all day long, but that would never occur to me to do that, I'm way too busy to think about food, I just have so many things I love doing. I really am lucky and grateful and am living an awesome, blissful life, with my dream soul-mate, my dream cat (see photo, he's cute as hell man, I'm frigging obsessed with him, look at those eyes!!), in my dream home, in my dream town (the sun shines nearly every day here, lol), I just really love my life, I feel so blessed. But choosing the right soul mate is EVERYTHING. Choose wisely because it can make all the difference between living a life of hell or heaven.

Day 5: Today's weight: ?kgs (didn't weigh-in) Weight loss so far after 2 days: 600g (1.3 lbs) ? Weight loss to go: 6.6kgs (14.5 lbs) left to go Starting weight: 62.2kgs (136.8 lbs) Goal weight: 55kgs (121 lbs) Total weight to lose: 7.2kgs (15.8 lbs) Daily limit: 1,600 calories Weight loss rate: 1 lb a week Date Ideal weight: end April Today's gonna also integrate a 16:8 Intermittant fast (8am to 4pm). * 8am Pre work-out coffee 87c Cappuccino 87 * Indoor bike (33 mins) burned 300 cals * 10am Breakfast (muesli) 375c 10g organic unsalted cashew nuts (623) 62 + 15g organic dried juicy apricots (231) 34 + 10g Bjorg organic sugarfree muesli (367) 36 + 10g organic sugar-reduced granola (437) 43 + 10g organic oatbran (359) 35 + 5g organic chia seeds (449) 22 + 100g organic fresh forest fruits (55) 55 + 200g organic soy milk (46) 88 Total cals so far today: 87+375=462c * 1pm Lunch (croque monsieur salad) 820c 100g Iceberg lettuce (17) 17 + 130g tomato (18) 23 + 50g bell pepper (20) 10 + 50g cucumber (14) 7+ 40g onion (40) 16 + 15g mayo (661) 99 + 1g olive oil (900) 9 + 70g wholemeal bread (270) 189 + 22g cheese (352) 77 + 10g organic chorizo (498) 49 + 15g mustard (245) 36 + 27g Nori algae sheets (300) 81 + 20g avocado (160) 32 + 325g organic orange juice (54) 175 Total cals so far today: 87+375+820=1,282 318c left for the rest of the day. * 3.45pm Snack (coffee and cake) 318c Latte macchiato 80 + 85g chickpea cake 238 Followed by 16 hours of fasting. Total cals so far today: 87+375+820+318=1,600c ? Indoor bike (33 mins) burned 300 cals ? 6.30pm update: really fancy eating something right now. Tempted to just say to heck with it all and throw in the towel. But I've committed to this, so am just gonna have to frigging resist.

@Average Investor I know, I'm really amazed at how much people toss out and how good the stuff is, I find loads of things on the streets, even brand new. I'm really handy at repairing things, looking after and caring for things, cleaning and sprucing stuff up, mending, darning. Sometimes folk here throw out furniture just because it's got a little scratch or mark on it. Some people really do have more money than sense. For example, I once found a gold coin in a little box in the collective recycle bin in the basement of our residence. Someone was obviously moving out of their appartment so they just literally dumped everything in the bin. I had a good scour through it, like a good old dumpster diver, and I'm a millionaire for pete's sake! I came away with a lot of good stuff, but had no idea if the gold coin had any value or not. So I took it nearby to a street in Paris which is full of currency exchange shops to get it valued. And after getting 3 estimates in 3 different shops, I settled for the final best price of 600 euros (670 dollars). I think I'm a bit of a business woman at heart. The problem is I see this stuff and bring it home with me and stick it in my garage. I then either keep it if it interests me, or sell it locally online. Which is sad really because I'm rich and don't need to do that. And yet I feel compelled to recuperate it and not just leave it on the street. Which also goes against all my minimalist principles. I've found some incredible stuff though, so it's a bit addictive. Being poor as a kid and where most arguments and fights were about money has made me neurotic about saving money. It's interesting that Leo mentioned having a problem with money hoarding too because of insecurities. It's something I'm seriously working on though, and am actually making good progress with it bit by bit. But it's still a work in progress, money insecurity goes deep with me. Having said that, we are kind and generous, my husband a hell of a lot more than me though. We give a generous cheque to Doctors without Borders every year. We've done our research and they seem to be the least corrupt. But then again we do get a big tax reduction from the Government for doing that. 66% of our donation can be deducted from income tax. So in reality we're only really giving 34% of the amount on the cheque. I've often gone out in the freezing cold on my bike with a hot flask and cakes/biscuits/sandwiches to distribute to the homeless. I've done a lot of cat and dog sitting for neighbours for free because I love animals so much. I've supported and volonteered at the local cat and dog shelter. Last year I gave my sister 2,000 euros, and she can also keep my share of my mum's will (if there's anything left after my junkie brother's finished) And the same for my husband's lovely sister, we've just given her 12,000 euros to do something she needs to do. And hubby says she can keep his share of their parent's will, the sale of their house and everthing in it. Being without children, a charity like Doctors without Borders will probably be getting all our money in our will. So it's absurd that I have wasted so much time chasing more and more money. I've got to stop chasing now and heal my relationship with money. Because I couldn't control the traumatic events in my childhood, I have always tried to control money instead. I try to do what I can with my money obsession, I'm definitely improving, but I know I can do a lot more. I'm sure Leo's got some great videos touching on this subject. I feel though that I have wasted a lot of time trying to make more money, to pinch pennies, to bargain hunt, to negotiate, etc, when I didn't frigging need to. For example whenever I need to buy something, I can't just go ahead and buy it, I have to waste a load of time compulsively comparing shops, seeking promo codes, reading a load of reviews, trying to get the best quality/price ratio, etc to be sure I'm not going to get conned (my worst nightmare, lol). It just doesn't make sense, it's contradictory, my husband thinks its ridiculous the time I spend trying to save money and would prefer me not to think about money ever again. He'd be really happy if I never mentioned the price of anything ever again, lol! This is an example showing the clear dichotomy of a situation and sort of dilemma I find myself in. Last week we were walking back from a lovely posh festive lunch at a Michelin starred restaurant. It had been a heavenly meal in a heavenly place. And then I kinda spoiled the vibe as we were walking home. I spotted a man's designer watch on the side of the pavement that somebody had tossed out after christmas (I later discovered it actually worked perfectly, the battery was dead, that's all ), so just picked it up with the immediate idea of reselling it online. My husband didn't look that impressed with me, he said it would be better to leave it for someone else less fortunate. But I don't feel I'm at the stage yet to think like that, which makes me feel ashamed of myself. My husband thinks so differently about money and has no neurosis about it. He's someone who sees the Big Picture and isn't a fan of the idea of wasting time to chase money for its own sake. He was also from a poor family (although not at all toxic like mine) but is tolerant, loving and understanding towards me. But if we ever do argue about anything (which is pretty rare to be honest), 99% of the time it'll be about our different perspectives about money. I hope in 2020 I can use my time much better, I want that to become my priority, better time-management. Using my time productively so that it has nothing to do with chasing money. I've wasted enough time doing that. And using time more on getting down to real personal growth. I'm hoping this site and the videos will help my struggle with that. I know I'll have made progress when for example I can leave some fantastic object on the street for somebody else to find, more fortunate or less, whatever.

Day 4: Today's weight: ?kgs (didn't weigh-in) Weight loss so far after 2 days: 600g (1.3 lbs) ? Weight loss to go: 6.6kgs (14.5 lbs) left to go Starting weight: 62.2kgs (136.8 lbs) Goal weight: 55kgs (121 lbs) Total weight to lose: 7.2kgs (15.8 lbs) Daily limit: 1,600 calories Weight loss rate: 1 lb a week Date Ideal weight: end April I'm gonna integrate 16:8 Intermittant fasting from now on. Thank you @archi for the idea. You've tried this too haven't you @Average Investor ? It's seems such an easy thing to do (I love easy), I'll do it from 8am till 4pm and just drink herbal tea in the evening. However I don't feel ready to sacrifice my morning cappucino, it helps with my work-out performance. Leo said baby steps, don't spook yourself. Today though, I know my last meal will probably be around 5pm because I've got an optician's appointment at 4pm. * 8am Pre work-out coffee 87c Cappuccino 87 * 11.55am Breakfast (muesli) 347c 10g organic unsalted cashew nuts (623) 62 + 15g dried juicy apricots (231) 34 + 10g Bjorg organic sugarfree muesli (367) 36 + 10g Jordans sugar-reduced granola (437) 43 + 10g organic oatbran (359) 35 + 5g organic chia seeds (449) 22 + 50g fresh forest fruits (55) 27 + 200g organic soy milk (46) 88 Total cals so far today: 87+347=434c * 2.30pm Lunch (croque monsieur salad) 736c 100g Iceberg lettuce (17) 17 + 160g tomato (18) 28 + 50g bell pepper (20) 10 + 55g cucumber (14) 7+ 35g onion (40) 14 + 2g fried crispy onion (590) 10 + 12g mayo (661) 79 + 1g olive oil (900) 9 + 70g wholemeal bread (270) 189 + 22g cheese (352) 77 + 10g organic chorizo (498) 49 + 5g mustard (245) 12 + 20g Nori algae sheets (300) 60 + 325g organic orange juice (54) 175 Total cals so far today: 87+347+736=1,170c 430c left for the rest of the day. (Fancy using them for a latte with a big piece of the chickpea cake for tea-time, which will be my last meal of the day). * 6pm Snack (latte and chickpea cake) 420c Latte macchiato 80 + 150g chickpea cake 340 * Indoor bike (37 mins) burned 300 cals Total cals so far today: 87+347+736+420=1,590c ? Indoor bike (90 mins) burned 500 cals ?

Grrrr, I can so identify with that feeling (to be honest, I'd have probably ruminated later on that for some time, I'm a bit ocd like that), but you did the right and noble thing, good on you. ? Honestly, you will have a more serene, balanced life with that kind of positive and mature attitude and approach, especially working in business and retail. You're putting things into perspective well, and laying good foundations for seeing the big picture, you just keep getting better and better as I'm coming to know you. If I understood you correctly, it seems the guy had seen it first, he said that he had come back specially for it, but because he couldn't get at it since you were kinda in front of him the only way he had of getting it was by telling you he wanted to claim it? But hypothetically speaking, if you had actually spotted it first but someone else said he wanted it, you would have kept it, wouldn't you have? Seeing bargains slip by in front of your very eyes and learning how to emotionally deal with the niggling feeling of regret and horrible frustration at a great missed opportunity can be a good learning curve. I hope it doesn't happen often to you though! You seem to be a kind person, and I feel bad that that other homeless guy broke your trust and cheated you out of the 250 dollars you lent him, and that you had been taken advantage of with your friend's family with the car loan they didn't want to pay for. Does that make you more cautious now about lending so freely to people? I know Leo's advice is not to lend to anyone. What do you feel or think about that? It's a tricky one. Ha, I just read that post "I got robbed" again and notice you're on it! How come people owe you thousands of dollars, if you only lent out very little? Do you mean in terms of the time you gave them (time is money)? Ps; I should have put a laughing emoji at the end of my message to that post about the pessimist, it's obviously a joke, isn't it? I hope nobody took it seriously!

@Average Investor Wow, that's some exercise you get there with all that loading, unloading, storing away, etc. I imagine you don't go jogging on those days lol! Do you take your German Shepherd Bailey (what's its name?) and Leo's videos with you when you travel to Oregon? Can you buy a load of cheaper organic stuff there and then freeze it back home or is it not worth it? Anyway, it's really great that you're your own boss, on a flexible schedule with no-one breathing down your neck, it's the best situation I think! And you seem to have some top-notch books to guide and help you on your way to becoming successful getting what you want, you're on the right track. ? Effectively, one can make some good business with property too. When we lived in Paris, my husband and I bought our lovely first appartment for 150,000e and only 10 years later it had tripled in price! Then we moved down to the beautiful sunny South of France and found a much bigger appartment with a huge terrace/balcony for much much less than Paris prices. We're not really into shopping, and I'm quite frugal and careful with money coming from a poor family background, we also didn't have kids and my husband doesn't care for accumulating things, so we actually gradually became millionaires without even intending to, lol. But that hasn't changed me one bit, I still have difficulty throwing things away and never waste things, I've never bought a car, I prefer to go everywhere by bike, I'm a bit of a minimalist at heart. I agree it doesn't really matter how evolved the culture (or weather) is, and it's all down to one's own perspective (so important that) and I'm thinking it's probably also in your interest to stay where you are business-wise, lol. Imagine if you lived in a much more "conscious" less materialistic place, they probably wouldn't be interested in buying anything, you could go out of business, lol, just kidding.

Day 3: Today's weight: 61.6kgs (135.5 lbs) ? Weight loss so far after 2 days: 600g (1.3 lbs) ? Weight loss to go: 6.6kgs (14.5 lbs) left to go Starting weight: 62.2kgs (136.8 lbs) Goal weight: 55kgs (121 lbs) Total weight to lose: 7.2kgs (15.8 lbs) Daily limit: 1,600 calories Weight loss rate: 1 lb a week Date Ideal weight: end April I'm gonna eat the same breakfast and lunch most days, which I really enjoy. But in order to vary the dinner meal, I'm going to be busy baking and cooking this afternoon. To be honest, I'm the sort of person that could eat the same stuff every day ad infinitum, I don't get bored easily, but gotta make an effort to diversify, lol, I'll be listening to Leo's videos while I chop, peel and stir. So today am planning to make a vegetarian aubergine feta gratin and an iced chickpea cake (which is absolutely delicious and so more-ish, luckily I'm counting calories 'cos then I really can have my cake and eat it. It's one of my top 5 favorite dessert recipes. Adding pureed chickpeas (or even white beans) to the recipe moistens the cake so you don't need to use any fat in it. I hope it'll be ready in time for my "tea-time" today. I've been wanting to remake that cake for months but haven't got round to it. * 6.30am Wake-up coffee 87c Cappuccino 87 * Indoor bike (60 mins) burned 500 cals * 11.30am Breakfast (muesli) 347c 10g organic unsalted cashew nuts (623) 62 + 15g dried juicy apricots (231) 34 + 10g Bjorg organic sugarfree muesli (367) 36 + 10g Jordans sugar-reduced granola (437) 43 + 10g organic oatbran (359) 35 + 5g organic chia seeds (449) 22 + 50g fresh forest fruits (55) 27 + 200g organic soy milk (46) 88 Total cals so far today: 87+347=434c * 2pm Lunch (croque monsieur salad) 631c 100g Iceberg lettuce (17) 17 + 130g tomato (18) 23 + 50g bell pepper (20) 10 + 65g cucumber (14) 9+ 35g onion (40) 14 + 2g fried crispy onion (590) 10 + 12g mayo (661) 79 + 1g olive oil (900) 9 + 76g wholemeal bread (270) 205 + 22g cheese (352) 77 + 10g organic chorizo (498) 49 + 5g mustard (245) 12 + 10g Nori algae sheets (300) 30 + 160g organic orange juice (54) 87 Total cals so far today: 87+347+631=1,065c 535c left for the rest of the day. (They'll probably get gobbled up with just a piece of the chickpea cake, but at least if I die tonight I'll die happy). * 6pm Tea-time (1/8 chickpea cake) 513c I really love that cake! Recipe: 400g jar cooked chickpeas (119) 476 + 7 (355g) organic eggs (146) 518 + 1 cup (125g) ground almonds (658) 822 + 2 (16g) sachets baking powder (76) 12 + salt/sucralose = 1,816 whole cake (800g/8 parts = 227 cals 200g (2 parts) chickpea cake (227) 454 + 100g forest fruits/berries (55) 55 + 6g soy cream (68) 4 Total cals so far today: 87+347+631+513=1,578c ? Indoor bike (90 mins) burned 500 cals ? Oh no, I had a taste of my homemade aubergine gratin as I was putting it away in the fridge (it was really delicious), so I'd say I probably consumed about 200 cals more, but it's not dramatic, seeing as I've burned 500 cals anyway today, so it probably still evens out to a 1,600cal day. I'll just not weigh myself tomorrow, don't want to get disappointed in the morning.