Michal__

Try to listen to Newman while doing a technique like breath counting or body scanning. You will get many insights and get a taste for what they're talking about.

I've lost some (not all) friends due to this. Tbh the ones I lost I wouldn't really want to be friends with them again. I can't relate that much to them. They're still at the same place they were years ago while I make quick progress in comparison.

Their red is obedient to an authority. They are blue. Obviously they have more red tendencies that the average person.

Yes.

It's ok to get bad grades in HS. Especially if it allows you to learn something better (eg. read something from Leo's booklist or read business related books) or even do some freelancing work. Just don't underestimate how much you have to study to not fail a class / not fail your finals. Preferably study for ~30 minutes during the school year and cram before your finals (the craming will work better because you build the momentum from studying 30m a day). Since you said you're in Europe I assume that after your final year of HS you will have to complete finals.

No. You might think that building a business / working on your life purpose will be easier than HS but it won't. If you want to succeed without having basic HS education you will have to work 8 - 12 hours at a crappy, stressful job while also putting 2 - 8 hours a day into your life purpose. It might sound more appealing than HS but reality is different. You can still put in 2 - 8 hours a day on your LP even when you're in HS. HS will also teach you (especially you) how to push through, since you probably hate it. Basic stage blue discipline is still needed (to some degree). The upside of HS is - if you learn how to socialize you can have lots of sex and get some of your survival needs in check before you go all out on the higher stuff. Also, without HS education you will often feel like a failure which others will affirm. Which will stop only after you get some business success. If you really can't stand HS then transfer to online school and meet your social needs through going to clubs on weekends TLDR: If you aren't able to understand the HS material (you haven't really talked about your reasoning, so I assume this is a part of the problem) you don't have enough self mastery to become successful at your LP / business. You also will benefit from the socialization aspect of HS.

Well, if you're asking that then you haven't realized that you don't exist.

LP (either through the course or if you are confident enough you can try to find it out on your own) + equanimity (before equanamity you have to develop mindfulness!). + Becoming better overall

- 6 x 10 minutes is good, but you should move towards making it 1 x 60 minutes. Maybe next week change it up to 4 x 15 minutes and so on until you manage to do 1 x 60 minutes comfortably. - What technique do you do? You should maybe start with something basic like breath counting for the first month (or until you can do 1 hour straight) then move on to something more potent like Vipassana, preferably body scanning. After you get OK at bodyscanning you should start listening to dharma talks during your sessions (that way you train your peripheral awareness as well as concentration while also getting a "transmission"). - read MCTB by Daniel Ingram - after you do this you should go to a mediation retreat - Vipassana center if you want to receive in depth instruction about body scanning or on your own if it doesnt fit your schedule (but in that case I would probably use the noting technique since it is way easier to learn https://eudoxos.github.io/cfitness/html/index.html - dont use too crazy techniques until you get good at this Stuff like do nothing is amazing but you should have some kind of base skill before you implement it

Spirituality is about loving yourself in all your fucked-up-ness to death :-). When you become more aware of your ego it can become stronger because it "wants you" to identify with it. When you act like an egomaniac just be aware that it's not you in the true sense. There's nothing inherently bad with being arrogant. Just try to make your arrogance accurate to how you actually are.

No, that just means meditation (or whatever spiritual practice(s) you're doing) is starting to work for you. It will get a lot more crazy when you become a proficient meditator.

If you're fasting to be more productive: 4 hour eating window works better than 2h (you'd probably have 1 -2h one if you ate one meal a day). Because you still need calories! Let's say you start working at ~9 in the morning. You can have your first meal at ~20. That way you can get as much quality work in as you need. Maybe at 20 eat some fruit, then have first big(ger) meal 1 hour later and then the last meal maybe 1h later too. Intermittent fasting for that long will make you hungry enough to not have a problem with eating ~3000 kcal in 4 hours. And you can do your unproductive stuff while digesting.

Do you see this awareness?

Why are you considering suicide?

I react to l-theanine strongly too. Do you drink it on an empty stomach by chance?

The more you realize this the more yellow you are Learning about the higher stages from someone else for x amount of time also moves you up a bit. Good point.

Whose free will?

Well, you can still go pick up chicks and worry about shekels while being an excellent meditator & psychadelic user. Just don't go all out on spirituality until your life is stable (stable as in being able to get pussies & afford a nice life). Self development makes you more attractive & successful. Spirituality helps too (up to a point - that you haven't reached yet). If you feel "too spiritual" to solve your worldly needs that's likely a projection, since you ask this question.

Because it's his forum. Go create your own forum without the "skinhead demon" :DDD

No mind has nothing to do with a quiet mind and everything to do with who's thinking the thoughts including the thought called "the thinker". Quieting the mind is called samatha, not no mind. Quiet(er) mind is just a middle man some teacher believe is important. Quiet mind is neither mind nor not mind. It doesn't matter whether you realize no mind with the help of psychadelics or by accessing nice quiet concentration states.

Could l-theanine be the solution or does it just mask the problem?

Why do you put salad in your butt?

There really isnt a better test on the internet as far as I know. But you can ever truly know by doing lots of work.

Why?

Love your parents but don't let their opinions cloud your judgement. It's unlikely that you'll get them to understand. Also - make sure your stage orange is dialed in, so you know you're building your higher stage stuff on a solid base. It's way easier to pursue spirituality when you're not a wage slave. You can still find ways to make good money from being a hairdresser and/or healing people. Definitely have another source of income until your business takes off (a full time job). Yes, you might have to work for 12 hours a day (8h job, 4h LP) and focus even more on LP during the weekend. That way you won't be a burden on your parents.