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@Eph75 Well, maybe I should specify, I don't hate him. Right now I feel nothing but emptiness. But thanks for the other suggestions. If I were to talk to him in the nearest future it would have to be through phone, and I think I would feel much more comfortable doing it face-to-face. I could of course travel home to do that. but i don't know. I'm just very confused about the whole situation and how to practically deal with it. It's only been four days since this whole bomb just exploded right in our face, so maybe I just need more time and the situation will solve itself naturally idk. Howevere, I understand that everything has happened for some reason ( which i yet don't understand but should try to understand) so I don't find any reason to judge or hate, I would never do that. When that's said I think your'e definitely right about putting him on a pedestal. Even though I started to see him more as a human when i grew up and not this great authority who always knew what's best I still had unreasonably high expectations from him. I will talk to a friend, I will do that.

I feel like it's easy to just accept all the spiritual stuff in which you don't understand. At least that was the case for me, as I had been implementing all his other teachings like taking 100% responsibility, accepting reality as it is, doing meditation and so forth, finding only those simple rules to be basically life transforming. I think that when you have such powerful experiences by just applying those simple habits, it's easy to just buy everything else raw because then you're kind of convinced that everything the teacher talks about is valid, and you then become this uncritical follower who just accepts anything no matter how little you understand of it.

A couple of months ago I really got a huge wake up call when it comes to the importance of nutrition and having a healthy, balanced diet. So during these last months I've transformed my diet from eating garbage like pizza, burgers, taco and drinking coke almost every day to a clean diet with mostly veggies, nuts, berries and fruits. I also got in to a gym routine and started working out regularly. The reason why I managed to do so was because I really saw the value in both these things, and as I became more conscious about the long term effects of eating healthy and working out, it became obvious to me that this was something I just needed to get handled. However, when it comes to alcohol I recognize that there's some resistance in me in quitting that. My history is that I've been drinking probably around twice a month, usually 3-5 beers, and I find it to be very social and it's much easier to bond with people ( who are also drinking , of course) . I haven't found any information or studies that says occasional beers like this have a bad effect, it's only when it becomes an addiction that it's obvious to me that it has a downside. So, do any of you guys know any studies which describes how alcohol could impact you long term when it's consumed occasionally like in my case? Or are there any other perspectives about drinking than just the health perspective I should consider? Thanks, guys!

Ok, Thank you guys! Seems like there's full agreement on this, that's nice. Makes it easier to feel certain about the conclusion. @Serotoninluv yeah, about that.. I eat my vegetables raw and I always make sure to wash them well. Although, is it enough to wash them to make sure the bacterias go away? I always thought cooking them was the best way to make sure of that, but then I read that it's better to eat them raw. So a bit confused in this area too, i guess hahah...