Alistair Kershaw

So I've been talking to this girl that works at the gym I go to, we've been friends for about 9 months now and we've had a good ongoing friendship and we talk every time i'm there but I'm hoping to move things along so we're more than friends. We've often talked about movies we should watch and the other day I mentioned we should watch a movie together that we were talking about. Long story short her response was that we couldn't do that because it'd be crossing the friendship line. My question is how can I start to change this situation? It's pretty clear I've been too platonic with our relationship so far, does anyone have any advice on how to start to change the relationship to more of a man to woman relationship so she doesn't see me as just a friend without making it weird? Should I be totally up front with my intentions for us to be more than friends from this point onwards? I'd like to stay friends if possible but if I have to burn that idea to the ground for potentially more than I'm willing to do that but I don't want to push too much and make it weird. Thanks in advance for any advice.

Yeah you're right, this has happened to me before. It didn't work out with the first girl i ever had a crush on for the same reasons as this post. I ended up breaking contact with her completely, after a couple of years I saw her at a party and went in directly with a sexual frame and it was on from the get go. I couldn't possibly imagine that working while we were still 'friends'. That's a great point. I'll do that from now on, it's pretty clear where I've fucked up. The worst part is I know where I've fucked up and in general I'm usually good at setting a sexual frame when I'm interested. I think I had her too much on a pedestal which caused me to play it too safe. Just rookie mistakes I'll try my best to avoid doing in the future. Thanks

I appreciate the consideration for being loving and caring in respect of someones feelings but there's a time and place for that. What Leo said is true and in this context if you were to water it down to avoid hurting my feelings it'd be less helpful and the advice may not land and the same mistakes would be repeated. The words may hurt but they're meant to, at least it gives me something to work off of so dumb shit like this doesn't happen again. Forums like this are for people to post problems they're having and to learn and grow from the discussion. Not to have your feelings pandered to. I'd PAY for someone to give me unfiltered advice like that. If people keep treating you like a bitch, you'll keep acting like one.

Literally watched the Todd V video before posting this thread haha. I'll check out the second link later today. Thanks

Yeah, that's the harsh truth. I won't be doing it again that's for sure, but now i've just got to get over this girl. Would I be better off to cut things off with her completely? Being friends would be OK but I feel it'd cause more hurt than it's worth.

Yeah I figured it wouldn'tbe easy. I just thought I'd ask to see if I could salvage the situation. So you wouldn't recommend keeping the friendship going? It hurts to think about the relationship not going anywhere so it's probably wise to just cut the ties and move on I guess. Yeah I get there's plenty of fish in the sea, the problem is when I get eyes for one I don't care for the rest but i guess if the feelings aren't being resiprocated I'm just shooting myself in the foot.

@Tudo mid 20s. I'm well aware I fucked up from the get go. Is there no hope to changing the situation? It's been a long time since I've been into a girl like I am with her, but that's probably why I played it too safe.

When it comes to microwave meals, I've always been curious to how the quality of the contents compare to freshly cooking the meal yourself. For example if you get a "healthy" microwave meal consisting of lets say, brown rice, chicken breast and broccoli. how much different would it be nutrition wise compared to buying the items separately and cooking it at home. Obviously the taste and texture if far different after it's been frozen and microwaved compared to fresh but i'm curious purely on the nutritional value of the meal. Assuming the company making the meals uses high quality ingredients to begin with, would it have the same nutritional value? or is the assumption they're using high quality ingredients unreasonable? Or does microwaving anything just destroy the meal regardless of how well it's prepared? I've been taking microwave meals to work lately because it's super convenient and the contents of the meal seem to be healthier than anything i'd normally cook. I'm curious what you guys think, thanks

So crazy to see a thread active right now about this. I too have just had an awakening. Spreading the love!

My Results: Your score from primary psychopathy has been calculated as 1.4. Primary psychopathy is the affective aspects of psychopathy; a lack of empathy for other people and tolerance for antisocial orientations. Your score from secondary psychopathy has been calculated as 2.5. Secondary psychopathy is the antisocial aspects of psychopathy; rule breaking and a lack of effort towards socially rewarded behavior. You score for primary psychopathy was higher than 16.15% of people who have taken this test. You score for secondary psychopathy was higher than 49.13% of people who have taken this test. I never really trust these sorts of tests. It's quite clear what the psychopathic answers would be, my ego would never let myself choose such an answer and reveal how much of a devil I am haha

So i've begun reading My Big Toe Thomas W Campbell, one of the first meditations he give you is a two syllable word to say to yourself while meditating such as rising while ringing out the 'ing' and focus on the sound. My question is with mantra meditations, do you have to say the words out loud or does saying the word in your head have the same effect? I'm also curious whether or not it'd be better to find a video of someone else saying the mantra over and over and just listening to that instead of saying the mantra myself. Any advice is appreciated, thanks

@RickyFitts okay great, thanks. I'll experiment with all three and see how it goes.

@Vignan Chapter 25

Hey I just wanted to share my experience to see if anyone had a similar experience, while doing my spiritual work, I had an awakening that I was the only one in existence, at first it was great but after a few days I had an ego backlash and freaked out pretty bad over the idea and started getting really anxious and paranoid so stopped doing any spiritual work. Have any of you experienced something like this? And do you have advice? Thanks

@pluto What does your workout/diet look like now? And what was your cleansing process like? The benefits you mentioned are very intriguing.