altered62

I am not sure what my goals are. I am a healthy 57 year old male with no physical or mental health issues. I don't have to take any prescription medications. I saw a film as a teenager that was about altered states of consciousness. In that movie the plot was pure fiction and kind of goofy, but it still fascinated me. Sleepwalking, hypnosis, self induced trance, etc. are topics I find interesting. I am not seeking enlightenment or anything like that. I might add that while in a trance I have memories pop into my consciousness that are completely random. Like why did that memory pop up out of nowhere. I have also seemingly had dreams when I have blacked out in trance occasionally that have people in them I don't even know. Like I am just an observer only. While in trance I am not limp. I feel like what ever position I am in is rigid. Like I am locked up, but numb and heavy. When I am the deepest I have ever been which has only happened a few times I had to really concentrate to be able to start moving body parts again. Like move your finger but it won't move right off the bat. I was hoping to find people who have experienced the same type stuff and could give advice or guidance.

About two years ago I became interested in meditation, trance, altered states of mind. I don't feel I have progressed very fast considering I try to get into a trance several times a week. I started out using the candle method. It worked for me, but not as good as other methods. I bought a machine that uses goggles with a strobe light with binarual beats. It worked a little bit better than candle gazing. The best method I have used makes use of a slide show of photos flashing at a very high rate with a recorded mantra loop. I stare at this flashing slide show and use headphones for the audio in a dark room. It does not take long to begin feeling the effects gradually becoming very numb. This includes face, arms and legs and with the feeling of heaviness. They are not asleep in the traditional sense of the word. Sometimes they move slightly on their own. I get to the point where my blinking reflex is practically non existent. My breathing becomes very shallow. So long into a session the visual portion will seem to speed up or slow down. Sometimes it seems to morph in weird ways also. The audio mantra playing normally becomes complete gibberish. I am not a drug user but in this state I feel very blissful. Some sessions are average while some do reach new heights of weird or pleasurable feelings. Sometimes I can be having a session and be what I consider wide awake, then all of a sudden find myself waking up or snapping out of something like I was asleep but with my eyes never having been shut. Like I mentioned occasionally I get in a zone where I think I am on the verge of going to a deeper level, but it turns out to be short lived. I am not into the religious aspects meditation. I have had lots of trouble finding forums that deal with trance or altered states that are not focused on Hinduism or Buddhism. I would like to know of other forums if they exist directly related to altered states. I would also like opinions of on if I am working in the right direction or wasting my time using the methods described above.