siasatmadar

I'm an average-looking 24y guy with my shit together (education, hobbies, job, in average shape). My social skills are fine and I have close friends whom I meet regularly. I asked out around maybe 20 girls in the last year from my social circle and on campus but most of them either rejected me or had boyfriend. I dated one girl from social circle and ended up being friend zoned. I'm doing daygame by going to city center and trying to talk with solo girls. I already did around 40 approaches. I know that my sticking point is to carry on the conversation and keep talking. I tend to eject quickly because I still don't feel good about approaching. Deep down I feel it's an awkward thing and maybe I'm doing a morally wrong thing, wasting their time, or annoying them. So far I had 6 numbers and 1 date which was unsuccessful. I didn't have any girlfriend in my life and I am ashamed of that. Now I'm developing a feeling of not being attractive to any pretty girl. Whenever I see a hot girl, my mind tells me that they are not for you, other cool guys are fucking them while you're sleeping alone in your bed. It's not that I'm sitting in home all the time. I go out a lot but mostly with the same people whom I know for long. There is no single girl in my social circle by the way. I'm losing all my hopes for finding a girlfriend to the point that sometimes I rather to kill myself than to live a life without love. I have close friends who literally told me they like me but it doesn't have effect on the way I feel about myself. I need to hear that from a girl I like. Any advice or support is appreciated.

I'm planning to do ~500 before quitting. Other than reduced AA compared to first few approaches, I can't see much progress so far. I'll keep doing it. Thanks!

I'm struggling with finding a girlfriend and I lack experience with girls in general. I want to take a 3-month online coaching with a guy for fixing my dating life which costs 1000$. But I'm afraid of spending that much money. Any thoughts?

I live in Helsinki, and a few weeks ago I went on vacation to another country. During my trip, I turned on dating apps and finally got a match. I said to her that I'm staying in their city for just a few days and we can have a one-night-stand. We grabbed a drink and she came to my home. Even though it was my first sex, it went really well! (I'm 24 and migrated here around 6 months ago). The next day, she texted me and said she enjoyed last night. We slept again that night. After that, I had to return. We've been in contact since then. The problem is that the experience of having sex and being emotionally connected to a beautiful girl was so great to me to the point that I can't stop thinking about her. I feel so down now cuz I can't kiss her again. it was an uncommon experience for me. I believe that in the near future I won't have the chance to meet another wonderful girl that we can go along with each other and have sex so quickly. Now I'm in a state of grief. I feel depressed and life seems meaningless. Spending time with my friends, doing sports activities and talking to my therapist didn't help much. Why is life hard? I'm thinking about suicide here and there as a way to avoid all of the difficulties in life. I know the rational thing to do is to move on, talk to other girls, and find a more wonderful girlfriend. But I'm hopeless and don't have enough energy to even get out of my bed in the morning.

So men without a strong father should go to hell? Even that I have born in a small city with close-minded people in a third-world country, I've made a lot of progress compared to my previous self.

Glad to hear that you moved on. Yeah it was a rich experience. Thanks man, I hope that passing time helps me and I start approaching again.

My therapist told me that she expected that I fall into the state of grief since I have little experience with girls. I don't know, It's a new concept to me. I talk with him rarely (my parents live in another country). He is a fearful man with lots of insecurities, like his son!

I'm looking for an accountability partner for building productive habits through our journey. My main objectives are reaching my short and long term goals and sticking to daily routines. What I have in mind for now is first each one of us defines their own target goals and habits. Then at the end of every day we send a report and give a feedback to each other. We can measure the progress towards our goals on a weekly or monthly basis. This was the general idea. We can discuss/change the details. Please message me if you're interested.

Like many other people, I've had Social Anxiety Disorder since childhood. I could remove many false beliefs about gender discrimination, religion, and other stuff, but despite despite many efforts, I couldn't get rid of this fu** mental disorder. I've tried to get help from many "professional treatments" like CBT and group therapy. But my foundation of thinking and mindset towards other people hasn't changed at all. Now I'm receiving pyschodynamic therapy combined with medication, but it seems it take a long time (at least 6 month for therapy) to work, probably! Advices like "start gradually and take small steps" and also "face your most scaring fear suddenly" didn't work for me. And I'm sure there are many people out there living in the same situation. So, guys do you have any idea on how we can overcome this disability? Maybe a combination of psychedelics and metaphysic work. I don't know. We are talking about finding a treatment for such a widespread disorder which psychologists are researching on the possible treatments and didn't find an effective treatment yet! Oh God, maybe I'm just fantasizing. I would definitely don't want to continue this hellish life. Rather to eliminate myself than keeping on.