bazera

I have exactly the same problem, learning is my top priority, or at least I want it to be, but I end up with procrastinating day after day after day... Just like you. One thing that has helped me a lot is scheduling my next day. Before going to sleep, I journal the passed day, emotions I felt, things that happened, ideas that came to my head and etc. I write all of that in ny notebook, and I also schedule what I will be doing the next day, hour by hour. Something like this: Wake up at 7:00 o'clock do something from 10:00 to 12:00 o'clock do anoter thing from 13:00 to 15:00 o'clock etc... This helps me a lot, because I don't waste my energy into thinking what I'm going to do at a certain time. I know exactly what I should be doing at any moment of the day. It's up to my willpower now, if I accomplish all the things from my checklist or not. Maybe you should try something like that too

Hm, that's kind of what I am experiencing too, just right now, I wanted to point to Leo's video in which he talks about how you should not worship anybody

Hey, this has been an issue for me for a while now and I would like to hear different thoughts about this. Sometimes I can't help myself and fall asleep while reading something important to me. This may sound a bit silly, but as I am trying to develop a reading habit, this doesn't let me do that. Any suggestions?

"Human beings always act and feel and perform in accordance with what they imagine to be true about themselves and their environment" - Maltz Maxwell, Psycho-Cybernetics

@Samuel You are describing my problem too mate, and if anybody suggested us anything that would help us, that would be great, but as Leo said, we must "get shit done", and just have a control and feeling when it is really necessary to watch another video, or read another article about studying, instead of actually studying. Self discipline is needed I think, which I personally lack of, and am working on. I'm glad you've shown my problem to me from different perspective.

Oh my, your last 2 points just opened my eyes I think that's exactly what I am doing lately, but isn't that benefitial too? You mean that we should be working all the time, and don't let ourselves be here too? I actually have scheduled when to scroll this forum throughout the day.

Hey, I have noticed that I judge a lot of people unconsciously. As soon as I got the idea of "personal development", and as soon as I set self-actualization path for me, I kind of started looking at people differently. I have no control of the thoughts, but I notice them, and I know that they are not healthy, but I can't help the fact that I am thinking them. Like when I look at somebody scrolling Facebook for hours, I immediately think something like: "Oh, look at him, he is wasting his precious time on scrolling useless stuff, I have already deactivated my account, so I am somehow better then him!" And after I realize what's going on in my head, I start to feel that something is not right, that I am doing a complete opposite thing to what I should be doing and should be learning about. I know that Leo said in his videos that we can use these kind of people as mirrors, and reminders of what we shouldn't be doing and what we may be doing in other areas of our lives. I also know that judging others will backfire me with judging myself (from the above example, I may scroll Facebook some day again, and I will immediately label myself with something negative) But in spite of all that, I still can't help the fact that I am thinking that way. I am clearly thinking, before even realizing, things like: I am better in this, I am better in that... Do you have any suggestions to help me overcome this problem?

@Ramu Feel free to message me any time you want this forum has become a daily thing for me too. It's kind of a new habbit.

@Ramu Thanks so much for the recommendation my friend, will definitely read it

@Psychonaut Same here mate, but I am close to 2 months without fapping now. Keep it up!

@Leo Gura That would be great Leo, and hope that you will do that in a near future, because this is an issue for lots of people.

I have to thanks Leo for this forum whenever I have a possibility, so here is another one Thanks Leo and each and every one of you, it has been just a week and this forum has already become a daily thing to me.

@Avi What do you think about the judgment that I make on my judgments? (towards people). Amn't I supposed to think of them as unhealthy thoughts?

@Sarah_Flagg Yes you are right, everyone is exactly where they need to be, I am exactly where I need to be too, and if I was able to get on the right path, everyone is able to do the same, it's just a matter of time. Everyone may have something that I dont't have yet, and with my ego's "logic", they can be better then me too, but I must see how stupid is the idea of comparing so much generally..@Pinocchio Then what I have to do is continue being aware, and continue working on my awareness more and more. Eventually time will show me what will be neseccary for the next step. @Neuroticon I have seen that couple of times, but again, my ego is so fucking strong, that I opened up this thread to ask for your support, because I couldn't handle it my own. @Thomas Your story is like mine, and thanks for sharing those titles, will definetely check out.

What I would suggest is that you should devote one month to gaining one positive habit. For example: In february you decide to fix your time managing problem, and use all your resources for doing that, also keep your focus only on developing time managing skills. After 30 days, you still continue that, but also begin new thing, for example going to the gym and beginning to lose some weight, after another 30 days, don't stop neither of them (time management and losing weight) and begin a new thing... And in couple of months, you will have gained couple of new habits, and you will also gain an experience in building new habits.

@AnonJohn Thanks mate, I will surely try to read sitting up in a chair, and see if that helps. @Naviy Hmm, interesting. I only sleep for like 5-6 hours. Maybe that's why I'm having that problem... @WarPants Thanks for your suggestions

@phizzuela Thanks, I'll consider all of those. I haven't done a meditation ever, so I think it's appropriate time to start meditating.

So, I have this problem that really takes a lot of my emotional energy, and distracts my attention from what I really have to be doing. I am 20 years old guy, and haven't had a girlfriend ever, I hardly even had female friends. 1 year ago, when I went to collage, my social life had changed. I've met a lot of new people, get a lot of new friends and etc. I gained communication skills, and I've found out that I am quite good in communicating with people and generally in socializing. So, what's the problem you may ask. There is this girl, which I have known for 13 years and haven't been very close most of this time. I was very shy with her and barely ever talked with her (she was my classmate btw). After entering collage, I didn't get to see her everyday as I used to in high school, but after 1 year of collage (and developing nice communication skills) I restored quite a friendly relationship with her, and I have been talking to her for like 1 year everyday, with social networks or in person. I feel really good talking to her, but the thing is, I have some kind of weird feelings with her, she is very nice to me and I am very sensitive with this (again, I haven't had a relationship with a girl EVER before). I don't really know what guys mean when they say that they "love" a girl, but the feeling I feel makes me want to talk to her every day. And the thing is, I don't want this to be this way. I know exactly what she thinks about me, and I don't want to create illusions in my head (but they keep popping up, in spite of my resisting). I don't want to feel anything towards her, because I know her answer already, if she ever finds out what's happening in my head. The worst is, that strange feeling distracts my attention from my studies and personal development. I can hardly do anything during the day when I can't talk to her. How can this be healthy? I can't even find another girl to have a relationship, because of my limiting beliefs, on which I am working on, and I will definitely fix that, but what should I do with this feeling I feel towards this girl? :\ Thanks for reading this, and if you've read this, please suggest me anything you think would be appropriate to do.

@Lorence I see the 3rd option too. Interact with other girls, and hope that unwanted feelings towards her will fade away. I just need time for building enough confidence to actually talk to girls and have intimate relationships. For me, that's not the top priority yet, because I need to fix many of my problems in order to let my confidence be high enough. And regarding to your options now, 1) I am doing that right now, as I am trying to get rid of that feelings towards her, because I know that they are pointless, and only damages me. I know that finally she will get a boyfriend and she will live a beautiful life, and the thing is, I want to help her however I can, to help her reach her full potential and make her dreams come true, but as I look at myself, I kind of want that for lots of people around me. So first thing I can do is pursue my full potential, in order to be able to help others do the same. That's the main goal., 2) That would be the worst thing for me and here is why: If I tell her how I feel towards her, I will definitely be rejected (don't ask me how I know this, I just know the person). And what will this cause? This will cause a depression and losing motivation towards anything that I do daily, including personal development. She cheers me up, we share thoughts every other day, telling each other new things and etc. So get rid of that from my life, what I will left will be no daily interactions of this kind with anyone, and that will not be good for my productivity. The problem of me is neediness. But overcoming this needs lots of time and lots of interactions with different people, which I don't have at the moment, and losing what I have won't do any good to me. That 3rd option is the best one I guess, and I will do everything I can to be able to accomplish that, even though it does need a lot of time.

I am not sure that I've fully expressed what I wanted to say with the title but, anyways.. I have a friend, with whom I had a little conversation the other day. We were talking about the importance of reading books (mostly self-help and positive psychology books), and he was telling me that he was afraid. He said that in the past he has read something, that he didn't know before about himself, and knowing that caused him a trouble in some situations. He described himself as two persons, and said that in some cases, his "evil" self would use the knowledge from the books in a bad way, and he would harm himself. So in short, what he was telling me, was that it is bad for him to read too much, or think too much, because what he finds out about himself, turns out to be damaging in some cases. I was a bit confused, because he wasn't able to give an example of that thing he has read, and he got angry when I asked him to give an example. The other thing is, he says that he knows too much, and that the knowledge is dangerous for him, so he has decided to stop reading about those topics and learning about himself (because again, he things that it's somehow dangerous, and his "evil" self will use the knowledge as some kind of a "weapon"). The other thing is that, we are quite young, both of us are 20 years old, and he has barely read 3-4 books, and he is telling me that he doesn't want other people's theories, and he can find out everything on his own and that he knows too much, I mean, wtf, It's so hard to talk to such kind of people. So, what would you tell him, if you were me?

@murray prince Thanks, I hope that too. @Pinocchio Yup, I won't. I am not going to interfere in his life in any way. He should live his life as he wants, he may learn anything from his experience, or from books or from whatever he wants, but It's not really nice of him to tell me that I am on a wrong path and I am doing some kind of a fairy-tale things that this guy is talking about in his videos (Leo). But why should his opinion be important to me? There is no reason for that, so I will let him be as he wants, because I do have a lot of work to do for myself, I don't really have time to think about others too (yet), when they don't even want to listen to me. And yes, he was talking about ego, and he is afraid of his lower self (educated lower self )

@Pinocchio Yes, I couldn't agree more, but again, I was asking him to communicate something that he said he has READ. How could he read something that can not be captured in symbols? We can only read symbols, can't we? I agree with everything you say, and I am not trying to advice my friend or anything like that. The fact is that he was not just talking about reading, he was talking about thinking too, and generally, what we call "self-help" here, cause he finds that distracting and damaging in some cases, because again, he thinks that it is dangerous when you know something about yourself. Anyways, thanks a lot for the reply.

@Pinocchio This thread was also intended for me to understand if I was doing something wrong, and your post somehow made me understand that, thanks. I am behaving in a very wrong way too, but tell me honestly, what would you say to a person, that hasn't even read 3-4 books on a subject, and is arguing with you that he knows what he is talking about. Maybe he does know right? But when I ask him what does he know, I mean, specifically, to share a bit of his knowledge to me, he says that he doesn't remember I was really intrigued, because he was so convincingly telling me that he knew he had read something in the past that he found it dangerous, and decided to not read anymore after that, but he can't even recall or say what that "thing" was. I mean, what is the proper reaction to this, in your opinion? I opened this thread just to know how other people would think about this, because I didn't like the feeling I was feeling. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I am better then he in some way, just I want to know what is the best way to approach him, to talk to him. I didn't even know there was such kind of thing as "self-help" 3-4 months ago, so naturally I lack a self-development a lot, but that doesn't mean I don't have my opinion about what I am discussing with my friends, and when I heard the friend I am talking about, I really got confused, because talking about how books can be beneficial for a person wasn't enough :\

@Mooders Yup, he likes being in his comfort zone but he doesn't know what is waiting for him outside of it. And doesn't want to know, because he has cut himself from the sources from where he can actually feel what is possible. Even when I showed him Leo's videos, he said that he already knew that "theory" and methods that he was telling him, that's exactly the approach that will cause a lot damage to him, without even realizing it. And he was being quite ironic to me, when he was looking at me watching Leo talking about lots of things, so, this ironic approach won't be useful for him in his future and even in his present time I guess.

@Pinocchio Yes I agree, we must all learn to be independent thinkers, but we are so overwhelmed by today's social life that it's kind of not easy. We are surrounded by dogmas and beliefs which we believe but aren't sure why and etc. The problem I think is that he thinks he knows something, and that's the danger. He just lost the change of knowing more, and getting to know with a different perspectives of the matter. He just says that he knows something with reading 1 book and that's all. He doesn't want to explore and discover so much things that needs to be discovered, because he just says that he KNOWS! I think that's a huge problem, isn't it?