So I don’t know if this is a common problem or if I’m being arrogant. Or if Im being too controlling or what. But I’ve been dating my current girlfriend for close to a year now and I keep running into this problem:
I am trying to put myself on somewhat of a path of personal growth, and she seems to be holding me back (or maybe I’m looking at it the wrong which I’m also open to.) But every time I add a healthy habit I feel the need to share it with her and get her on a similar path because I see the benefits and I see how doing things like mediation, eating healthy, yoga, contemplating and evolving overall could improve our relationship and her life and mine. But I run into sharp resistance. She says that she is interested and will even try these things but when it really comes down to it she isn’t willing to fully commit and she gets frustrated when I push her too hard to stick to these habits with me which I try to frame as something to build ourselves together and that we are taking this journey together. In reality though it feels as if I am dragging her along and end up getting frustrating because she isn’t moving as fast as me or as passionate about growth as me.
The ironic thing is the more I grow the more I see how and what holds her back emotionally and psychologically. When we get into fights it’s less so me fighting and more And more me dealing with her strong emotions which I no longer get due to doing the work. and it’s like I want to explain to her and I do why she’s feeling the way she is or is lashing out but it feels futile as she isn’t doing the work I recommend nor is she sticking to it. It’s not from lack of trying on her end either. It’s sinply that she doesn’t move as quickly through this work as I do as she lacks experience in building habits or growth.
I know this work is usually about self growth and helping or saving others is not recommended, but I would like to find a solution that maybe doesn’t involve us breaking up. I accept that I am probably somewhat deluded so does anyone have any advice or gone through something similar?
in Dating, Sexuality, Relationships, Family
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So I don’t know if this is a common problem or if I’m being arrogant. Or if Im being too controlling or what. But I’ve been dating my current girlfriend for close to a year now and I keep running into this problem:
I am trying to put myself on somewhat of a path of personal growth, and she seems to be holding me back (or maybe I’m looking at it the wrong which I’m also open to.) But every time I add a healthy habit I feel the need to share it with her and get her on a similar path because I see the benefits and I see how doing things like mediation, eating healthy, yoga, contemplating and evolving overall could improve our relationship and her life and mine. But I run into sharp resistance. She says that she is interested and will even try these things but when it really comes down to it she isn’t willing to fully commit and she gets frustrated when I push her too hard to stick to these habits with me which I try to frame as something to build ourselves together and that we are taking this journey together. In reality though it feels as if I am dragging her along and end up getting frustrating because she isn’t moving as fast as me or as passionate about growth as me.
The ironic thing is the more I grow the more I see how and what holds her back emotionally and psychologically. When we get into fights it’s less so me fighting and more And more me dealing with her strong emotions which I no longer get due to doing the work. and it’s like I want to explain to her and I do why she’s feeling the way she is or is lashing out but it feels futile as she isn’t doing the work I recommend nor is she sticking to it. It’s not from lack of trying on her end either. It’s sinply that she doesn’t move as quickly through this work as I do as she lacks experience in building habits or growth.
I know this work is usually about self growth and helping or saving others is not recommended, but I would like to find a solution that maybe doesn’t involve us breaking up. I accept that I am probably somewhat deluded so does anyone have any advice or gone through something similar?