LucyKid

Do you mean that black people don't pursue enlightenment? Sounds rather biased. There are some spiritual black youtubers, there is the youtuber "Infinite Waters", look him up, he's funny.

What is it? feels like I am going to astral project or something. It actually feels really, really good. My whole body starts vibrating, and as longer as I concentrate, it gets faster and faster, as if I am entering a Vertigo state, but a pleasant one. It feels very meditative, and makes me very alert and aware of my body and perception. Has anyone experienced anything similar?

Wow, thank you for giving me so much motivation just by reading that. How come is that so though? I am having a rather hard time concentrating sometimes haha, but I begun meditating daily, along with doing self inquiry. Plus I am reminding myself of being present literally all day long, so I guess it might be the results. I wonder what will happen in a month, 2 months, half a year and so on. Excited for it

This is a sharing post, nothing informative you can take out of it (Or you can?) Perhaps also the greatest opportunity, since obstacle and opportunity are one. But still, he causes me a lot of mental and emotional suffering just because of his low consciousness and low self awareness, and very big ego. He has this kind of approach where he literally screams at me for 15 minutes for no reason, and then I finally lose my temper after 15 minutes of trying to be as calm as possible, and then I rage too, and then he points his fingers at me and says "Do you see how do you react? The meditation you are doing is bullshit, you'll never be spiritual! You can't even control yourself!", and he says that while his veins are popping out his head out of rage and anger and he also raises his hand upon me. Every week I have a few other examples. Yesterday, I told my father that since today (Yesterday's tomorrow) I would like him not to put meat in my meal anymore because I want to transition into a vegan, but firstly into a vegetarian. At first it didn't annoy him, but he had been obsessively searched for why vegan is bad and why meat is good videos and sent me a bunch of them. Then he sent the last one about why fish eye is good and shit, and it might be good, but he doesn't understand my point. Anyway, he literally went inside my room (Some of you may say that it is his room since he paid for it), and literally forced me to turn the video on. I told him that it doesn't interest me and that I don't want to, so he started threatening me and saying that he'll destroy my computer and stuff, and that he will go berserker mode. Well, just because I didn't watch a video I didn't want to he literally screamed at me for 10 minutes, I was just looking at him, reactionless and speechless. Lately, I am getting used to that, like really used, like it's obvious that in a minutes he'll engage in another senseless fight with me for no actual reason, just because of his own stupidity. I am trying to observe him, he is a stage red person from what it seems honestly, and the lowest levels of Maslow's pyramids. All he cares about is sex food and body. He also says stupid things (Which are correct) like "Healthy body healthy soul", well, he is quite fit, a lot more than me, but he can't see who of us has the healthier soul, he is so unaware of everything. I still suffer from that, I may say that I am getting used to it, but my soul suffers from that, from that continuous fight engagement. I am a 19 yo student, things like "Leave your house" are possible, but are very difficult, so I decided to stay home until I finish the degree. There is no really point in here, just sharing a bit of my life with you guys

Yo, I love mathematics and computer science. I love the concepts, I love what's possible, but I am not entirely sure about it. I do love writing code and creating application and I have some video games I want to create, but does it contradict my will to raise my consciousness and potentially be enlightened through hardself inquiry? (An hour a day every day, + 30 minutes of meditation, + mushrooms with changa sometimes) I love what I study, sometimes I am totally absorbed with wonder and curiosity, especially about mathematics, but that feels like an orange stage thing to me, while I want to transcend to yellow and turquise (I feel that atm I am very green, with a lot of transitioned orange attributes such as self confidence, loving pleasure). Kind of confused of all the information I had absorbed from leo lately. Edit: So basically, the question is, does it contradict? May it be my life purpose? I love it, but I also love psychology, I love therapy (helping people out), etc, I love so many things. I am still young, 19 years old, and just finished the first year of my college, is it something I need to worry at the moment? Feels like mistakes should be avoided as soon as possible. It doesn't feel like I am making a mistake though.

Sadly, in 4 yours. I need to finish those two degrees I'm working on right now. Can't eat fruits and anything with sugar, because my father brought Ketogenic Diet home and if he is kind forcing me to it. It's so hard bro, I can't. I just got home, and he once again seeked how to point fingers at me and put me at fault, and said such hierarchical things such as "Do whatever I tell you to do and we will be alright", and that makes me furious since I am doing everything that he wants me to, he is simply so overwhelmed by his anger that he losses all sense of reality and memory. He brings things from 15 years ago and says "I tried to teach you and it didn't work". I want to get out, but it requires a shit ton of money to handle 2 degrees and a small apartment. The only thing I feel I can control is whether I answer him or not. If I do, he will scream, if I do not, he will literally force my mouth open and threaten me if I do not answer him. Little does he know I have about a hundred recordings of him threatening to shatter my skull with a powerful punch lol. I have already kept a life journal for the past month, it's actually great. I am trying, it's so difficult for me. I also feel stress all over my body because of this unhealthy communication with him. My father says that I am resisting him, when in fact he doesn't even know how much I am struggling to contain him. He says bullshit like "It's the age and when you'll be 25 you'll thank me", When I'll be 25 I will probably disconnect with him totally. I'll send him the money he spent on me, and just live my life. I got to the point where I can't have any passion towards him, and compassion, anything loving at all. He is regressing me to lower stages but I am hanging on to staying calm as I can and that is insanely difficult. He sees me meditate, he hears me watching Leo's videos and of course he says that leo is a stupid, brainwashed person. I didn't tell him I want to be spiritual, I did tell him that I meditate and it makes me feel great. That sucks, yet you are very mature lol. I don't have any structure to build, the best choice I can see right now is staying home and finish my degrees which will happen only in four years which is a lot, and who knows how much mental and emotional suffering I'll go through by then. I don't know how to work with him, I hate this position. I am thinking about moving out, but I need a resource of income to keep studying. Perhaps college will help me out. To you, I wish the best of luck, hang in there, and it seems that you have got shit kind of handled. Well , of course the one who's complaining is my ego, and I am aware of it, but I still suffer greatly. But, his way is abusive and forceful, I have no space to breath, it's like I'm living in a rather fancy cage. There is nothing I have to talk with him about, cars don't interest me, sex doesn't, money doesn't (It does to some extent obviously) except I'd like some to move out, and all his low stuff is so boring to me, and I have to pretend. When will he understand? when will he evolve? He is so childish and immature and dominant, he is using his power against me, obviously deep within he helps me, but what he does is serving his ego.

Another question I always had is why humans? Why humans are the one with the egos, are the ones who identify with the devil, are the destructive ones? Why isn't there another specie here who's cognitive capable as us or as conscious perhaps, as us?

My grandma is russian, and she's rather old (75 years old?) with a very rational mind, like the soviets. She asked me how I am doing and I told her that I am doing great and that I went to lake nearby my house and meditated there. Her reply was that it makes her worry about me, and that she is not sure about this. She is cute, but full of stigmas. On one hand, it is a funny thing to share, on the other hand, it is sad that she thinks that way and how stigmatized she is.

On the last video about spiral dynamics Leo mentions the Myers-Briggs model and another one which I couldn't really understand what he said. Do these models offer any new knowledge and perhaps insights about the self? A way towards personal development? Or are they rather useless models? I am curious, and I am wondering whether I should learn about them or not.

That makes sense. I wonder how such a program can be done. Thanks for the ideas, I'll keep them in mind and thanks for the insights and decreasing my worries I do actually want to create a program that makes people love nature more. That would be a green program, sounds cool. Perhaps an Indie Video Game with a really deep story and meaning.

That's exactly what I was thinking about, how could I create a stage green,yellow, turqoise game. My idea for a first game is rather orange, it's about a 2d map where you pick up certain substances and get different "Physical boosts" through different chemicals, with different music themes according to the drugs that were consumed lol, just a small project. Thank you for solidifying my understanding lol, and also giving me some cool themes I could work on. Well, 1.5h a day is what I can afford. Saying "I have no time" is not an excuse, and in fact, I am meditating and doing self inquiry, but trying to involve it with my student life, Pretty hard. I wonder how math might be beneficial in my goals. LI love math, it's interesting, I'd like to see it's implications in the future

We as human beings can reach enlightenment and the realization of no self and non-duality. What's the case with animals? Are they stage beige on the spiral? are they stage less? Are they a fiction of the human mind? I'm kind of lost here and don't know what to make out of my lovely dog. Are animals literally selfless and are in flow and zen state 24/7? Doesn't seem like it, seems like they have a lot of ego, and a really huge attachment to their selves and their physical bodies, they are in survival mode all the time. Can an animal reach enlightenment? If not, is it not some sort of evidence that the capacity of the human brain does help us (Probably the one reason) we can become enlightened ourselves?

Leo, you had spoken about islam, you mention christ a lot, and a lot of hindu and buddhist notations also appear in your videos. Is there anything for Judaism to offer? Any interesting insights? I just read that when Moses asked god what to tell the Israelites about his nature, god said "I am what I am", timeless, eternal. Seems relevant and might be of value

Was it deleted? I can't seem to find it on the Spiral Dynamics playlist.

A friend that introduced me , a friend that introduced the friend that introduced me, and recently a friend of mine whom I introduced actualized to. Oh, and my father. My father is a rather bad example since he is very dogmatic, very skeptical, and after watching spiral dynamics I would put him in hard orange and even red sometimes.