curiousyill

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About curiousyill

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  • Location
    Fort Wayne, IN
  • Gender
    Male
  1. The meaning of life is this: forget about it the question is too big, and we will never know. Drop it, throw it in the trash; well more like keep it in your pocket. Fill that void of not knowing with fun, learning, seeking out actively the things that make you curious. Just live man, just be; we are but tiny specs on a rock floating through endless possibilities. At any given moment a meteor could smash us, blah blah blah and so on; not trying to be scary. I'm just saying, I contemplated on this question for a long time. I became so obsessed with it I let it drive my fears and take me over, just drop it like a bad habit. The answer will come to us all, sooner or later; or maybe never. So my best advice is: fuck it (sorry about my French lol)!
  2. So if there is already a thread like this I apologize in advance, but here it goes. I recently picked up meditation, but everyone I know thinks it's silly and so on; so I don't really have any friends that take me seriously about it. I like to try to meditate at least 10 minutes a day at the moment, and I started my two older boys on it with me. The kids have fun with it, but sometimes I wonder if I'm doing it right. I've read one book so far, Meditation for Dummies (it's really a nice book); but want to expand my knowledge beyond it obviously. So far my technique is sitting up straight with my legs crossed, or on bad days (I had lower back surgery) I try to meditate in the Buddha laying position. During meditation time I try to focus by feeling my body from head to toe, then focus on counting breaths. Most of the time I do a decent job, and often when my thoughts aren't clouding me; I tend to accidentally live in my imagination until I realize I've lost track. I don't mind those imagination trips, but it makes me question if I am doing it wrong; I'm an artist by nature so I live in my imagination as often as reality allows (not too often anymore, parenting takes up a lot of time). Well so anyway, I wanted to start this thread for myself; and so others can get great tips too. So any suggestions? Tips? Questions? Thank you all in advance!
  3. I don't know how to take this post in, interesting lol! I just wanted to say in general, masturbation is perfectly healthy; it is good to release at least a few times a week (as I've read). I'm not going to go into specifics about my ritual but (lol), it's perfectly natural as long as you don't over do it. And as far as porn goes, porn isn't bad unless you have issues confusing pornography acting with what the reality of sex really is; but I find it best to get pictures from the significant other and use those instead. Bottom line, whack it with pride; as long as it doesn't interrupt your daily needs and lifestyle lol. Btw this isn't really advice, just my point of view, mainly because I just had to engage with this post; you guy's put a smile on my face!
  4. Great news! I got my very own copy of "Toward a Psychology of Being" today; a nice shiny new print. I am going to highlight the crap out of my favorite parts! I also ordered an original print from back in the day, that one is going in a safe place Time to take the library copy back so someone else can read it
  5. @OceanJjb Thanks man I hope it helps, I can tell you about the time I got swallowed up in depression; but that's all behind me. And I know "growing down" won't solve the issues, but it helps me at least realize the illusion of adulthood is sometimes forced on us. And thanks for the pic comment, my story behind that is it came from my final photography project last sememster. It's a pixel stretching technique (others do it better, but mine was fun regardless). I put it up here on Actualized to kinda say to myself: Time to shed off the past, and fight for the future.
  6. Just own it, Leo is an ass; but an amazing one. My first five minutes of Leo was like: I want to punch this dude (lol, sorry Leo). But what I realized was, he's just trying to speak in a modern language (I think). His attitude is fresh, honest and enlightening. My absolute favorite Leo moment is: 'Shut the fuck up." I almost shit myself laughing and that was the moment I realized, he's right; I need to shut up and get on the horse.
  7. Hey OceanJjb (I hope I got that right lol), man I didn't read through every reply but; smile man. Do it, right now; just force it. Look dumb doing it, be as silly as you can; and my favorite thing to say is "GROW DOWN." Just for this moment while reading this, put all of those thoughts aside and just be a silly and immature as you can for a brief moment. Anytime you feel down, just force it; grow down. Forget everything around you, and get in total sync with your inner child. It sounds dumb but man, in a moment of privacy just take about five minutes and pretend you are Batman, or play some silly game, just let go of reality for a moment and indulge yourself in pure joy. I hope this helps man, I don't know you personally but; you are awesome! Own that awesomeness!
  8. Thanks man, and I will; I'm willing to share any great tool I've used. Speaking of, I already talked a little about Abraham Maslow. I fell in love with his book so much I ordered two copies; one original print from 1968 (I believe) as a keepsake, and a new print version to read over an over. I also ordered two Maslow DVD's, and of course I give a ton of love to Leo; he's a great man for releasing so much content and I am forever grateful. Oh so my point (lol), I recommend "Toward a Psychology of Being" to everyone, some of it is a little hard to understand at first; but if something gets confusing just google the crap out of it
  9. Hey guy's, gal's and everyone else in between (gender fluid I guess), I'm not good at forums and don't have much experience on them so if I am doing something wrong let me know please. Anyway, hi, my name is Merril and I wanted to talk a little about myself. I grew up in a very TOXIC place: child abuse, rage, ignorance, bullying, and all sorts of fun stuff. All of this lead to severe anxiety, depression, self hate, hate of others, hatred towards the human race, my own fits of unnecessary emotional reactions, and ignorance. I could go on for a while, but I think you get the point. I am an intelligent person, I'm not a super scientist like Neil Degrasse Tyson; but my current path of self actualization has made me realize how observant I have always been with the world around me under all of those layers of bullshit. I stumbled across Leo's videos about 3 weeks ago (I think) and since then I have been on a decent upward spiral, I've slipped up a lot; but I'm more conscious about it now at least and am able to control myself better. I had anxiety, and I'm proud to say HAD; or at very least the symptoms are gone. I've been labeled all kinds of stuff like: bipolar, ADD, ADHD, generalized anxiety disorder; and I've been labeled all of this since I was young. I was labeled by friends, family, teachers, my high school (oh yes, I have my student report basically saying I'm going to fail in life as an adult); I had all of this pounded in my head so bad that I believed it. I missed out on over 10 years of personal growth because I was too busy believing I can't. I went to school finally around the age of 32, beat myself up the entire time I went; yet somehow graduated with me associates degree; but I was still so deep in denial that I went to one or two job interviews and was crushed and gave up on that career (like a dummy). I am currently enrolled as an art major, but have a hard time being artistic; full of self doubt I was afraid of participating in thing's as simple as group critiques. Now at least I am stronger, a little; but totally strong enough to realize what I became and now I am fighting it. I am fighting it so fucking hard, and I don't want to slip and become what I was again. I stand tall now, I take every second I can to read (I am currently reading Abraham Maslow's book, Toward a Psychology of Being); and I am all around just trying to self improve every aspect. Like I said, and I admit fully; the past few weeks I have failed just as much as I have succeeded. But I also know that's cool because I am not going to be a Zen master in a month. Basically I just wanted to put out my little story here to help others, and to get help from others; the hardest part about self actualization right now is that no one is taking me seriously and think it's some "phase" that I'm going through. So if you feel like me, don't give up man; it's easy to give up, but it's very rewarding to keep going instead. Keep it up everyone, and my hope is to never give up as well. And thank you Leo, thank you so much; I can't express it enough, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU LEO! If I didn't stumble across your YouTube videos I would still be, well unconscious. Much love to everyone, much love to Leo, much love to Maslow, and much love to me. I'm not done yet, I'm only getting started