Beginner Mind

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Everything posted by Beginner Mind

  1. @Chumbimba Thanks dude.
  2. A few years ago, I was at a bar in South Korea and there was a cute girl sitting next to me who I had never met before. I was pretty drunk and feeling bold, and without even thinking about it, I found myself grabbing her beer from her hand and taking a drink of it. She didn't react. I just gave the beer back to her and that was that. But I couldn't help but notice that she was eye-fucking me for the rest of the night. And as it was a small town we'd bump into each other in the weeks that followed and she would actively try to spend time with me. This event showed me the power of being bold... But looking back on it, I can see how it was a douchey thing to do. At the same time, I know from personal experience that displaying no boldness or personality at all will get you nowhere. So I guess I'm wondering, how does one display boldness and spark attraction without being a douche?
  3. Ultimately I want a relationship, but if some random sexual encounters happen along the way that's okay too.
  4. I used to have a decent sense of humor... But it kind of got buried after some suffering over the years. I used to employ David DeAngelo's philosophy of "cocky-funny", where you display a bit of arrogance combined with humor. But having been humbled by life in recent years and discovering the value of humility, I want to abandon the cockiness going forward. That's a good example you give of being bold without being a dick. I think even having the balls to approach a girl at all can make a positive impression in the girl's mind, as many men are afraid to even approach.
  5. Agree 100% about being authentic and bold, but what if your boldness crosses over into dick territory? If I have to be a dick in order to spark attraction, I think I'd rather not engage with the opposite sex at all.
  6. "Why are you unhappy? Because 99.9 percent of everything you think, and everything you do, is for your self - and there isn't one." - Wei Wu Wei If it's really as simple as this quote suggests, how do we account for the many unconscious/egoic people who are experiencing happiness right now?
  7. @Esoteric Good advice. I'll try to be more aware. Thank you.
  8. @Esoteric There has been less and less identification with the story as the years have gone by. (Suffering will do that.) But there's still some identification. Any tips for total dis-identification?
  9. Yeah, I may have to work on my bravery and approach more women in real life.
  10. I'll take your word for it. Perhaps what I really need to do is work on my social skills and approach women in real life rather than online. Or maybe a combination of the two? We'll see.
  11. So is the way to true happiness losing the sense of self as Wei Wu Wei suggests, or something else?
  12. Good point. I've thought about this as well. "Could I be with a non-spiritual person?" And the answer is yes, I could see that working. Perhaps I could show her that there is more to life than meets the eye, and she could show me what "real life" has to offer. Could be a beautiful match...
  13. I can see how less of your personality can shine through online, but you do have the opportunity to send messages and convey personality that way, no? But I see what you mean. It's not that I'm lazy necessarily, I just think it would be easier to "approach" a girl over the internet rather than in real life. I'm not the most outgoing/social person, so I feel like it might be easier for me to interact online. But I could be wrong.
  14. By "destined" I don't necessarily mean that everything is predetermined... Just that everything is ordained by the Source in the moment (not necessarily PRE-ordained). Tony Parsons speaks of it as Being just flapping its arms around in the moment and making things happen spontaneously, through these dream characters called "you" and "me".
  15. The following is a beautiful passage from the book "Perfect Brilliant Stillness" by David Carse. I was so inspired by this passage that I actually changed my PS4 username to "HollowStick"...
  16. @Serotoninluv And so it must be this ego, with its false sense of doership, that claims responsibility for whatever action arises in the moment. "I chose to pass the ball rather than shoot it." But in truth, the ball was always going to be passed rather than shot, as part of the "destined" functioning of Consciousness....?
  17. When the Understanding of no-self occurs, are decisions just witnessed?
  18. I think, ultimately, everything that happens is ordained by the Source. But being told that doesn't help you in any way. If anything, it may have negative consequences like falling into victimhood. Whether we have control over our destinies or not, all one can do is follow his or her natural inclinations. Just do whatever feels right to you, and don't worry about whether or not you are responsible for the action.
  19. In the book "Perfect Brilliant Stillness" by David Carse (amazing book on non-duality), Carse talks about how there may have been some "slippage" in the organism known as Ramesh, due to age. Carse is very fond of Ramesh's early teachings, but criticizes Ramesh's later teachings concerning the supposed continuation of the separate self after enlightenment. A very interesting read.
  20. @Koyaanisqatsi You mentioned that Roger Castillo was helpful on your journey. Do you agree with him when he says that once enlightenment occurs the organism continues to live his life as a separate individual? I'm curious because many sages like Nisargadatta Maharaj taught that liberation means the total annihilation of the sense of being a separate individual. Where do you stand on this?
  21. I've been a fan of Roger for a long time. The idea of non-doership was such a huge epiphany for me. Also, the concept of "genes + up-to-date conditioning". To realize that everyone is simply acting out their genes and conditioning in each moment, and is therefore not really responsible for their actions, is a game-changer. However, I do question some of what he and Ramesh Balsekar have said. According to Roger and his teacher, Ramesh, after enlightenment occurs the human being continues to live his or her life as a separate individual. This contradicts many masters like Nisargadatta Maharaj who told us that enlightenment entails the total annihilation of the sense of being a separate individual. That said, I've certainly found Roger and Ramesh to be very helpful on my journey.
  22. I don't mean to step on anyone's toes with this post, but I've been reading "Perfect Brilliant Stillness" by David Carse and this quote made me think of the Actualized.org community: "In spiritual circles there is great value placed on personal growth, personal improvement, becoming a better person, becoming more aware, teaching others how to become better, making the world a better and more enlightened place. The hope for a better future, the belief in an upward spiritual evolution that carries the whole race with it, is like the belief that there is something wrong and something that needs to be done. It seems hard-wired into the human mechanism but is in fact the device by which the 'divine hypnosis' operates, keeping the dream characters motivated and occupied in the dream. This belief is an illusion, and it is what creates suffering. In Truth, in the Absolute, in All That Is, there is no evolution, no progress, no becoming better, no becoming. All is as it is. The idea that the world is in bad shape and that the present point in history is pivotal and that something has to be done, is as old as the human mind; it has always seemed thus, at every point in 'human history.' In truth everything is in perfect balance; the world never gets better and never gets worse, although to the apparent individual instruments it may seem that it does." Again, no disrespect intended to Leo or anyone else, but I just thought I'd offer this quote as an alternative perspective to the one that is generally espoused here.
  23. So are you suggesting that when the author makes a statement such as "there's nobody home", that in fact the opposite of that statement is also true? There does, in other words, exist an ego as a separate entity? It certainly feels that way to me, and to 99.99999% of humanity. Nonetheless, I suspect that the author is probably right about there being "no one home", as an Absolute Truth. It feels right to me, even though it goes against my current experience.
  24. Hard for me to follow your posts sometimes, and I mean that as a compliment. I wish the author were here to defend himself because I'm not smart enough to do so on his behalf, however, I will say this: the author does mention in the book that the truth is, as you said, ineffable, so the "ultimate truth" that he speaks of is expressed with that caveat.