Ketrumi

Hello, I haven't been vaccinated yet. I am not against vaccine, I am just cautious. Personally I don't even know what to think anymore. One day I got showered by a positive effects of the vaccine and then the other day I stumble upon ideas and theories, that the vaccine lowers sperm count, sex drive and makes men impotent. Then I heard David Icke talking about the "no reproduction society" plan. How do I know what's the real deal at this point. I am not retarded to not know how to question and filter out the information, but those ideas of lowering sperm of men, made me wary and question everything about the vaccine twice. I am just trying to take care of my health and being overall careful. The idea, that I would be impotent is something I really REALLY don't like. I would love to create a new human individual(s) with MY OWN sperm in a adulthood. Thank you very much for the your time and reading. If you have any material, videos and information about the vaccine, that I should know, I will 100% check it out.

I have never had an experience with such paranormal or psychic phenomena until the age of 19. But yet even before that, I always somewhat knew or had an intuitive feeling, that these things are or must be real. In a age of 17 I started to follow actualized.org along with other self help youtube channels, because I wanted to improve my self and my life. As I started to do meditation regularly, exercise more often, drink only water and eat healthier, I began to have my first (I have no idea how to call it) mystical / psychic experiences. My experiences included: - seeing auras around parts of my body and other people (I will leave an illustration below) - seeing energies moving around my room, other places and around objects (Illustration below as well) Later I had a chat with close friend's mom, because I know she has a knowledge and experience with these things. She reassured me, that this is completely normal and I wasn't going insane or anything like that. Besides that, she also told me, that sometimes shoes at their home randomly start to levitate, because they "have attracted some energies" in the part. And so my questions are: 1. Can you guys recommend me some material, videos or literature, that explains psychic abilities with more detail 2. Are there any traps or warnings, I should be looking for, when studying about such things? 3. Do you have any of these experiences, that you don't mind sharing? Disclaimer: I am not interested in devilish or selfish desires. I just have a genuine and humble desire to be more educated about this topic. I grew up in a loving warm family and I spent majority of my childhood playing video games and having fun with my friends, so again, I AM NOT interested in hurting or using of the knowledge for selfish yearnings. Since we live in heavy Orange society, I find it more interesting to discuss topics like these rather than shallow material and superficial stuff. Thank you very much for reading.

@Roy Yeah I see, that's a very good point.

Thank you very much for the recommendation, will check it out.

I am very sorry for the late response. I wrote the disclaimer, because I didn't want to be seen as insane or something. People who haven't been through such experience or haven't seen anything often see you as the crazy one or as wishful thinking overreactive liar. After such experiences, the "black hole effect" occurs. You can't tell others what's on the other side of the black hole, because you already entered it and can't return.

I tend to take 30 or 1 hour long walks during the day, to move and self reflect at the same time. Today I took one the walks as usual. I decided, that I would like to self reflect even deeper so completely stopped thinking. After that I relaxed my body a bit more and then it happened. I was walking as an empty vessel, which has completely become one with the surroundings. It was a experience with no thought or desires. Can't deny the fact, that it was peaceful and clean as fuck! That peaceful walking started to become nightmare the moment I decided to think and analyze it. Even tho it was really short enlightenment experience, it made me revalue my values and desires. Besides that I am just 20 years old and I feel that at my core I am rather more masculine than feminine, so the idea of being provider, protector, creator of something and becoming someone (developing an ego) is appealing to me. Two things bother me at the moment. - 1. I love creating surreal and psychedelic art, because things are falling apart and becoming more abstract. But today I experienced myself "falling apart" as well, but I got scared of that. - 2. What if being an "empty vessel" is the most satisfying way of living, but I want to become more masculine, because I am afraid of it. Let me know what you think about this scenario and maybe what I should do to feel less anxious about surrendering my ego. Thank you for reading. <3

@ivankiss Great feedback. Thank you!

This really calmed me down. Now I see, that I thought about it as a black and white, rather than balancing it. Thank you.

Now I see it more clearly.. I still believe, that being builder and creator is something, that I enjoy. Do you think there can be a balance between building and surrendering to truth? Thank you for your reply. <3

@Average Investor Thank you very much for your answer!

One of the things that gave me the biggest joy in life is pursuing spirituality, empathy and selflesness. But at the same the I have been drawing, painting, making music, being creative and doing art my whole life and art is something deeply meaningful to me. I still draw, animate, do graphic design and experiment with music to this very day, but whenever I am feeling about creating a career from it, I feel like I will contribute to devilry, because I am creating an ego (career) that I want to maintain and therefore I must be consistent with my work. Besides that I stumbled around this numerological study, that every human has their own "life path number", that you find out when you combine all the numbers in your birth date and count them together to one digit. I got number 9 and read more about it. Since its the last number it represents ending and apparently often very conscious invdiduals, that absorbed characteristic of all other numbers, therefore people with 9 are also called Humanitarians, they have a deep urge to help and spread consciousness. I do agree with this and this is fine, but something that scared me is that 9s tend surrender all material wealth and lifestyle for selfless serving. This one information made me really emotional, because right now (I am 20) I LOVE making art and I am thinking about balancing artistic career with being empathic and helpful. So the idea, that 9s tend to complete surrender materialistic life is something, that I feel I disagree to accept, since I want some materialistic wealth as well... I remember Leo once said that "if you are pursuing this spiritual path properly, you will become selfless all loving null object." (Atleast, that is how I remember it). This information about 9s living selflessly had the same energy and vibe for me as this "null object" information, that Leo said. I would also like to mention, that I love being physically fit, healthy and have a high libido, so I can enjoy sex with my girlfriend more. But again, that is nothing more than just an external pleasure, which can be the opposition of living consciously and selflessly. This dose of testosterone is driving me to create even more art and sometimes scary looking art. (So I do not exercise just for sex, but also for creative power) And so here are my questions: 1. - Do you think I can still pursue artistic career and live spiritually at the same time? 2. - Are these numerological studies trustworthy? 3. - Is enjoyment of sex and sometimes other external pleasures preventing me from discovering deeper consciousness and truth? 4.- Is there something I am completely misunderstanding? My final thought: One of my main values in life are 1. Understanding, 2. Art and creativity, 3. Being healthy. If I am willing to become understanding and all loving, I shouldn't discard all of the materialistic wealth and external pleasure, but rather include some of it in my life as well, or am I wrong? Sorry if I have misunderstood the "null object" quote Leo said. Finally thank you for reading and upcoming answers.

I learnt that happiness doesn't come from external pleasure and escapist, but rather from just being! And from my experience I enjoy those things twice as much, when I am completely present while doing those activities. After reading your answer, I feel like I am overthinking it a bit. I felt like "well I either get enlightened OR pursue career" and now it seems like maybe there can be balance. Thank you Nahm, you answer calmed me down a bit, but I will wait for others as well.

I am 19 years old and I have graduated this year. I studied animation on an art high school and I loved it. My drive and passion come to these three things: Drawing, Animation and Music (And anything that is closely related to this) Since I am not student anymore, I should apply for a job. And here comes my questions and thoughts: Do you think I will have enough energy to do all those activities, beside going to a job? Is it better to choose one (maybe two) of those passions and stick to them, rather them doing them all? Should I focus on some activity which contains all those three things? (Like creating video games for example) How can I recognize what is the best career path for me? Maybe the main thing, that I should worry about right now is job and earning some income, but fuuuuck man! I am not sure what I should focus on the most right now, but I DO know, that I would LOVE to be an independent artist. (Whenever it will be music or drawing) And that's where my confusion comes from, because I can imagine myself being mainly musician, that uses drawings and animations, to spice up his tracks to be more attractive, but I can also see myself focus on drawing, animation and working more with my hands, than ears. One thing I know for SURE, that I want to do in life: Being creative, imaginative and provide something new to the art sphere of life. If I sound like an angsty, wishy washy, daydreaming teenager, that has his own kid dreams, I left one piece from each of my passions, in this post (1 illustration, 1 animation and 1 section of song, that I am working on) to prove, that I might have some good starting skills and provide value to the world. I am aware, that this is not the most conscious post and I might sound like a devil, but I can't focus on enlightenment, if my career and purpose is not set yet. If I sound egoistical and too proud of myself - that is not my intention. I just wanna prove, that I really want to do art, it makes me happy, I am willing to improve and take criticism. If those files that I dropped in this Topic are considered as "self-promotion", I can take them down. scena 15 udiv nad kvapkou true.mp4 Wisdom of detachment - drop section.mp3

@flowboy Thank you very much for the answer! I love your straight up facts <3 (I learned to live with the guilt so much, that I dont even feel it as a guilt anymore, thanks for pointing it out)

Yes I have graduated last year. I am going to try to get on colledge in next months

My dad got fired from an office job. He worked there for around 25 or more years. He is obviously looking for a new job, but I feel unstable as well, when I see him stressed out. Last week he mentioned, that his friend, that got fired from a similar job killed himself, because he didn't know what to do next. I don' want my dad to commit suicide. We never really knew how to communicate, because he studied Economy and I did Art. Besides that, I think he is an amazing, funny and hard working person. I graduated on high school and I wasn't accepted to colledge, so I am looking for a job as well. I think this stresses him out even more, even tho he doesn't have to be worried, I know how to take care of myself. Last night, I believe I heard him puke in our toilet, when I was in the other room. I am not sure, if I heard right, but If I did I am worried quite more now. Any ideas what to do or think about if you were in my dad's situation?

@MuddyBoots I have been exactly thinking about talking out the negative feelings. I really do appreciate your support, thank you!

@Elisabeth Yes, I am from Slovakia. Yeah that mindset, that you recommended is quite simple, but true. Thank you, for your reply.

I have been interested in music production for 6 years now, but I don't release much music online, due to lack of time. My main focus always were bass genres like Drum n' Bass, Dubstep or Glitch hop. I still enjoy making and listening to these genres, but since I was getting more into consciousness work, I really wanna try to make some experimental, mind fucking tracks, that you can't classify as a genre anymore. I have one of these songs in progress and I wanted to put some kind of message or quote in it as well. After listening to both "Understanding Survival" episodes, I really liked how Leo said "What keeps your from awakening is your attachment to all your survival strategies" in part 2. Obviously Leo should be the one giving me permission, but I still wanted to ask publicly. Btw, what do yo guys listen to or think about music in general?

You got my word, that I won't misinterpret it.

The only social media where I have uploaded my tracks yet is soundcloud. I am not sure, when I will finish that song with Leo samples, but it will be sure uploaded here as well.