Justincredible76

@Truth Addict oh i see, its about a balance of the two. I can surrender way better than i can discipline myself. I was mostly having trouble contemplating how to integrate discipline into my life, and it brought about neurotic thoughts like “you should be doing meditating not doing this.”

@okulele @Zigzag Idiot @Truth Addict Actually, i have another question. What about discipline? Ive never had much of it, and ive also never accomplished much externally either. Internally ive done alright id say, but i have trouble making results in the outside world. So how come surrendering to what you feel in the moment is better than discipline? If i could just brute force my way into whatever i desire in the moment, for example say i want to do hours of meditation, if i just said fuck everything else and did it for hours and went through the resistance and persisted, would that do me any better than being my normal wishy washy self where one minute i want/do this and the next i want/do that?

@Zigzag Idiot beautiful quotes man, love em. Good words, i will try to practice surrendering to the moment throughout my day. @Truth Addict i see, that makes sense. thank you both very much

@Truth Addict yeah, i sorta do come from that background, but i guess so do so many people today lol. But even for a non neurotic person, why would it still be an effective method?

@Truth Addict could you actually explain the mechanics of that for me? Why does surrendering do me best?

@Truth Addict alright, cool. I confuse myself alot like that.. ill just do what i feel in the moment and see where it takes me.

With that said i ended up just using 3 tabs of LSD, i had a wonderfully confusing weird and epic trip. I believe i became conscious of how i create reality and my experience, but most of that stuff is too much for me to integrate currently. I was so out of it during the trip, i couldnt even understand what was going on around me. Things lost their context and became something new, it was very cool. I did some weird things too, but thats the name of the game. That would be wonderful to have a master to talk to. At this point, i think i just need to push myself a little. Im doing more meditation now but its a bit less formal. I used to move to a different seat to meditate, but i found that adding the extra step to move-brings about 10x more resistance than just staying put and meditating, so im having an easier time. But now i just need to find out what methods to use. I did a little bit of the neti neti method and will probably continue to throughout the day, and my friend showed me techniques of yoga such as pranayama and kriya supreme fire, but i havent done those as much. By the way, download whatsapp on ur phone and add the number i sent you over our DMs, well make a group chat w my friend :). Excited to make this group chat !

@okulele i dont know anything about research chemicals really, tell me all about them. Are they safe? How do i know theyre safe? Where can i find them? Maybe its better to talk about that stuff over dms bc its against the rules to talk about sourcing drugs here, but if theyre chemicals maybe its different? You bring up a really good point, i totally am running from an opportunity for growth... i had considered that before but that idea got pushed away long ago... so now the question is what am i gonna do about it? Recently the ego backlash has been worse than ever, i find myself too lazy to do basic tasks and indulging in entertainment much more than before. I broke my schedule i had (its a nocturnal schedule) because i hung out with a friend and i never got back on track. After the schedule broke it all fell apart and im not really meditating as much as i was. I have 5 tabs of lsd and i think im gonna take some soon, thinking about taking 3 and doing alot of intention setting and meditation beforehand. I was going to wait until i find someone who can get me thc so i can pair the two for a better trip, but i cant find anyone. What do you know about combining the two?

@okulele i think youre right saying psychedelics can get me there faster, i used to be able to get lsd but I cant anymore until i find a new person who can provide it. The main reason i wanted to go to a monastery was just so i have seclusion and i can stay focused, because when im at home there are a million different temptations and distractions that deter me off the path, and im attached to alot of these things to the point where my attachment pervades my deepest desire of mastery. One way i think i can tell that it really is my deepest desire is if i even say to myself “what if this path isnt for you?” My heart sinks and breaks instantly. But even so, i distract myself with other things and usually i enjoy the distractions too. That sorta leaves me in a bad spot for accomplishing mastery doesn't it? Most likely though i just need to find how to work around it and with it, but im really not sure how to do that fully. Either way all i can say i know for certain is that i want enlightened mastery. I can take psychs living with my parents but i probably couldn't get them delivered to my house. Id have to do it through a person somehow, but i have no car so its harder. I dont really know whats gonna get me the best results, going to a monastery ASAP or doing psychs for a while before going, or just not even bothering going for like a year at a time and maybe pursuing financial independence while intermittently working on mastery, then once i can afford my own place to live i can dive much deeper since i dont have to work around parents. They cant know about psychs. Would going to a monastery for a year be a waste of time because i cant use psychedelics? Thanks for talking with me about this i definitely need it

@okulele so the reason i want enlightenment is to move as close to the truth as possible, and i was thinking the monastery would be the best way for me to accomplish that. Here are some options. Each option requires i get enough money to fly out to a free monastery in the first place. I also have to figure out about health care or any other types of insurance dont i? Im not familiar with that. 1. i stay at a monastery for a limited time, say a year or less but no more than two lets say. Itd give me a break from where i am now so i can come back in a great state of mind then get some affairs in order like become financially independent get a house car and all that. 2. I stay at a monastery for a long time, maybe a decade or just a real long time and explore deep into consciousness and enlightenment, then after that i come back and be financially independent. If i do that then id be basically putting everything behind for years, my family and friends included. My family would hate that option, but they hate all these options anyway. They want me in college but i say no to that because my only long term objective is to become an enlightened master, and financial independence comes after that i guess. 3. I try to get my financial independence now before going off to a monastery, like getting my own house and such things. Then going for however long i want to a monastery and coming back and doing psychedelics on top of my monastery experience. No matter which option though, major psychedelic trips and experimentation come after financial independence. Honestly i dont know which options suit me best. I am deeply confused and its sort of a struggle. Currently i applied to a job i really like and i hope they hire me. I dont have much going for me right now except for my character and pursuit of enlightenment, but that takes me far enough. Not that i really need anything external, i just want to become an enlightened master, regardless of anything else, thats all i really want. I want this subject mastered for myself, and so i can raise the worlds consciousness; maybe by starting a practice of some sort. Now with that goal in mind i don't know what the best option is.

So ive had one two tab dose that blew my mind with love (although probably just a portion of infinite love) and also have alot more smaller dose experiences under my belt. I also had an experience where i could feel the fear of death arise which could have led to a bad trip but i knew how to deal with it. With this in mind, this gives me the confidence to take my dosing to the next level. I observe my actions, patterns, and importantly my habit loops, where after a period of growth i cyclically fall back into old traps but with a little more clarity than the last time; so i experience my old loops in a new light and see how they effected me perhaps making it easier to change. But i feel like a part of making massive growth would be to have a literally reality shattering experience, where everything falls apart and simply must be recontextualized, and within that harbors the growth i seek. If thats the case, i think it may be wise to take a high dose of LSD, and see where it takes me. Previously i was told my lack of experience would mean a high dose would only serve to my detriment, which was most likely true. But how exactly do i know when im ready for the change? What preparations or prerequisites must i create before i can handle a psychedelic breakthrough? I have five tabs right now, and most likely i don't want to take all of them at once just so i can have more for another time, i wont be able to get more for a while i predict.

@okulele im reading this thread and i realize our paths are nearly identical, all my friends and family say go to college and put myself in the system instead of pursuing enlightenment and meditating full time, but of course they would ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯. I had some near awakening experiences on LSD but not quite. Im 18 fresh out of high school and my plan is to go live in a monastery or ashram or wherever the hell i can live for free and meditate for years or however long i feel is necessary. I havent done a whole lot of research into where i actually want to go yet because first i need to gather the finances to get there so ive been applying to jobs and admittedly dilly dallying alot. This thread is like a year old now so how are you doing on your path? Any new developments? Did you find out where you want to meditate at? If so where'd you go and why? What might be some good monasteries or ashrams for me to consider?

@enderx7 what i think i really need is to get more motivation to do spiritual practice, because even though i get these thoughts that i need to do more practice and get out of this unaware state, i often find myself distracting myself with playing games with friends, and mostly because i feel sorta guilty leaving them even though they want to do things with me. But then i end up spending so much of my time only on that. Maybe to combat that i just need more practice and naturally ill gravitate towards that, i dont know really. What do u think?

@OctagonOctopus the trip of love was a while ago now and i think i have forgotten the specifics of what that feeling entailed in terms of what it means for other aspects of my life, but i still remember how it made me feel. It was sorta like the scene in the wizard of oz where the witch melts away, and my being analogously melted into this powerful feeling of love and appreciation for this present moment.

@enderx7 the first answer that pops into my head is yes i want to give up everything, and i really do mean it. But is it possible im lying to myself? How can i know? Would the only way to truly know if im serious be if i have a feeling of desire for truth so strong and powerful that it pervades every thought every moment and every action? Because if im not preoccupied with a task or distracting myself with entertainment im thinking about how i can get closer to truth every moment im consciously running my thoughts.

To go a little deeper, i mentioned i don't quite want to take all five tabs at once. This isnt just because im scared of a bad trip or im not ready for it, but the bigger part of why im resistant to that idea is because i want to save it to have for another day i case i think to myself “i wanna have a trip today.” But to me it almost sounds like im saving the tabs simply because im feeding into my brains neurotic tendencies to desire excessively. If thats the case, and it also turns out to be the case that im ready for a major breakthrough, why shouldn't i just take all 5 tabs? But with that said i dont really know that i am ready for it so ill have to wait on that decision. I think its really important that i figure out what i can handle without falling back into fear at the sight of something bigger than me and regressing, so how can i gauge that for myself? Also what else do you think i should do before a big trip? Any rituals i should consider? Any of leos videos i should watch before or during? Perhaps some methods like the neti neti method? Anything that you think will help me figure out how prepared i am or anything that will assist my trip in being more productive post here for me please, thank you its really appreciated .

This isnt quite a video request exactly so im sorry if it doesnt belong here but have you ever thought of doing a ted talk @Leo Gura? If you would what might you want to make one on?

As i try to do semen retention, i find that im still addicted to porn. Its not anymore so much the masturbation so much as it is the porn, its weird, but makes sense. How can i stop this addiction?

@Leo Gura you know i don't think that response could have been worded better. I think its good in that case that i focus on more clearly defining my vision, which deep down is to become an enlightened master. How can i best refine and hone this vision so all my actions reflect that goal?

Ive recently began semen retention and i would like to retain the experience of an orgasm without losing my vitality, so what are some methods to bring about a non ejaculatory orgasm, and a full body non ejaculatory orgasm?

@ajasatya nice, im hoping it pays off really well because ive been doing it with very subtle success, having trouble doing this thing where you bring the energy up your spine though. Sexual kung fu is what got me started and @GreenWoodsis the one who showed me the channel and got me interested.

@peanutspathtotruth @rNOW Cool ill look into all of that, thank you guys for the info!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BGWQSY8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_R8RvDbNMKRRT4 is this a good mat? I probably wont invest just yet, but ill see in the future if i can. You said sleeping on the ground helped? I may try that. Im trying not to stomach sleep anymore, but when i fall asleep on my side i wake up on stomach so im not sure what to do about that, i guess just time will improve that? What position do you sleep in, and how has floor sleeping improved your pain symptoms?

@molosku interesting method, im going to try that. Its almost like youre watching a movie and youre the observer, right?

Constantly throughout my day i feel a compulsion (sort of like running short of breath) to manage my breath. It seems when i pay enough attention to it and actually manage it it goes away, but when i do something else it comes back. The problem im now having is im trying to do concentration exercises by focusing on a metronome but i cant focus on the metronome without this feeling constantly arising and interrupting me. How can i dissolve this compulsion so i can focus on concentrating? What makes it worse is it feels like i cant really breathe without managing it, like it doesnt just happen anymore without thinking about it somewhat.