apparentlynoself

Member
  • Content count

    59
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by apparentlynoself

  1. Thanks for the reply I don't consider myself a full blown conspiracy theorist and i don't believe in bs such as: - flat earth -9/11 hoax - fake moon landing, etc... But some of them sound quite realistic. Especially the fact that the coronavirus started in wuhan, where the biggest lab in the world is located. Again, I am not saying that I believe it but it is possible
  2. @Ampresus In my opinion, most, if not all of the haram foods are considered unhealthy. So there is no need to eat it. I used to be a muslim. Now, as an atheist, I still don't eat the haram food because it's unhealthy. Just get rid of the ideological beliefs you have of islam and you'll be ok. A good way to do that is through contemplation.
  3. I've been doing binaural beats every now and then. They can be extremely powerful. Generally, I use them when I want to heal something. Although I cannot guarantee, I feel that binaural beats have the capacity to heal.
  4. When i saw the corruption map, i immediately went to see the corruption rate of turkey, which was 41. Now, my best friend is a devout muslim who adores turkey. I am an atheist but i have not revealed it to him or my family yet because it's considered taboo. When i told him the corruption rate,he immediatwly started defending turkey. He said how everyonr in the world is against islam. He thinks that they made up the statistic.He also says how turkey is extremly evolved. Whenever i say words such as proof, evidence, he just says how i am too logical and mathematical. Another interesting thing is that he believes that the sharia law is similar to democracy. I completely disagree because sharia does not allow free speech. What stage of the spiral is a person who loves turkey, loves islam, loves the ottoman empire, loves war? I find it difficult to even talk to him about these matters. He even brings science in the equation by saying how there is some mathematical logic in the kuran! It all sounds very primitive.
  5. @Apparation of Jack I agree with you. I'll just try to avoid these conversations with him. @Aeris Yes but the problem is that i live in london but my parents were born in turkey so that means that i occassionally have to visit turkey. And, really, most people are at a stage blue or lower level. My friends in london are orange and higher. @John Lula hahaha i like beef more than turkey and chicken combined
  6. Another bad part of stage blue politics is that they rely on the afterlife. When i asked my friend why is denmark better than turkey, he just said how this world is pointless and how heaven is the thing everyone should be going towards.
  7. I forgot to sat that he said how turkey has a strong military force and that this means that they have a strong economy. That's the main reason why he thinks the corruption rate is fake. P.S. he does not support the law that saudi arabia passed the other day where women can travel without having to ask their husband. I find that absurd ?
  8. @Leo Gura Agreed! I even feel that my friendship with him is starting to get cold. Even though i'm an atheist and i dont like religion, i kinda cant admit it because he would literally not talk to me if he found out. And it would be kinda painful for me because we have been strong friends. But as i study spiral dynamics, i can see where people are at and where i should be. This means that i must be honest. That's why i told him about the corruption map. But i could clearly see that this literally dangers his survival. Just to note another interesting thing. He told me how the turkish president erdogan is extremely intelligent and how all the rest of us should just shut up because we(he included himself) will never be as intelligent as him. This utterly shocked me. He also said how sufis can put a sword through them and still survive. He even guaranteed to me that no non muslim can do that. I laughed
  9. The worst thing is when i start getting into the logical aspect, he literally goes mad. The worst thing is that he has been my friend for over 10 years. But as i develop myself, it becomes harderto communicate with him because i fear that he will bring me down
  10. @Serotoninluv yeah, i identify myself at orange. But I do have some compassion for him because he lacks the ability to reason. He's too ideological
  11. I feel that i'm solid orange. But I can see the excesses of orange, e.g. food, lack of environmental consciousness.
  12. @Bojan i think that Yugoslavia was at stage blue of the spiral.
  13. @Psyche_92 now, i'm not really that good at giving advice in regards to nofap. But i recently realised something important. I am only on day 4 of nofap but i feel like i will finally defeat my addiction. The way i did it is by using consciousness. I just looked at myself on the mirror for about 10 minutes. I looked at my acne, which was caused by fapping. I also thought about all health problems, which were also caused by fapping. I didnt play victim, but looked at it in a detatched way. And i feel like it clicked. If you want a video that explains this is better detail, i recommend watching leo's video: awareness alone is curative.
  14. @Bill W i agree. But hopefully, someday, i will be able to do a retreat properly. For now, i'll just continue meditating, doing some tai chi and nadi shodhana.
  15. After 450 days of daily meditation, I have decided that i want to bring it up a level. So this is why I decided to make this retreat at home. Now, the reason why I am doing it at home is because I still live with my parents and I can't really just go to some fancy place (because i would have to explain to them what i am doing and that could be a very painful process as they are at stage blue of the spiral). Even with these circumstances, they are relatively quiet so it shouldn't pose a big problem to me. The plan that I have made will start off from tomorrow (monday) and it goes as follows: 07:10-08:00 -meditation using the breath 08:05-08:55 -healing meditation, as i like to call it. It is basically listening to binaural beats, solfeggio frequencies, etc... 09:00-09:10- Tai Chi 10:30-11:20- Meditation using do nothing technique 12:10-13:00 -mantra meditation 15:20-16:10 -Healing meditation 17:20-18:10- Meditation do nothing 18:20-18:30- Tai chi 18:40-19:10 Healing meditation This amounts to 330 minutes of meditation for just one day. Usually, i do 50 minutes and this will be a challenge for me. In total, i will be doing 1650 mins of meditation throughout the 5 days, which equals about 33 days of meditation for 50 mins. That means that i will have put a month worth of meditation into 5 days. This is my first retreat so i hope it goes well. You can comment on what you think about it and will it succeed. Thanks!
  16. @Chi_ No, because i have not purchased the booklist. Even though i'm 19, i still live with my parents so i'm not financially independent.
  17. Is this a powerful yoga technique? I intend on trying it but i would like to here your experiences of it. Will it help my meditation?
  18. @Anton_Pierre i understand but my ego seems to want to know every fucking thing @Chi_ that's what i also saw. I hope that it works well tomorrow.
  19. @Anton_Pierre that's what i intend on doing but i just want some thoughts about it. I'm starting it tomorrow
  20. @Odysseus it's an epic fail because after doing the first hour of the retreat, i stopped it due to ego. It just started rationalising why i should quit the retreat. And i obviously bought in, as this was my first retreat
  21. I've got some terrible news: The retreat failed. The ego has won the battle. After waking up at 7 and meditating to 8 and then doing some tai chi, I just started getting random thoughts, like for eg. When am i going to go to the dentist? Even though this retreat was an epic fail that lasted just over 1h, at least i have learned a lesson. And it is that the ego is the strongest enemy that i have and that it is extremely self deceptive to the point that it does not even reveal itself as self deceptive.
  22. @Space Thanks for the advice, my friend! I have decided that the best move for me is to do a meditation retreat at home for 5 days, starting tomorrow. In that retreat, I hope to gain enough consciousness to at least have a bit more self-control in my life.
  23. Even though I regularly meditate, I have huge problems with fapping. It's just one of those addictions that annoys me a lot for some of the following reasons: -I feel that my pimples(acne) is caused by fapping -I sometimes have problems with my stomach(Much more often than i would expect). I have the feeling that it is down to fapping -I sadly have a foot fetish which means that i am attracted to women's feet (i am kinda ashamed of that even as i am writing it here) Simply put, i have tried nofap numerous times and the longest abstinence time was 49 days. But now, it seems impossible to do even 2 days. Literally, it always goes as follows. I fap and feel ashamed. I then decide not to fap ever again and then after 2-3 days, i fap again. Whenever i think of women and their feet, i just feel weak and i feel this energy which i have to release. I do not know is there another way of doing it. Also, when i read that you could potentially get blue balls by doing this, it made me much more afraid to not fap. Does anyone know how i can get over this addiction? I just have the feeling that it is starting to have an impact on my health.
  24. @Chi_ Thanks for the reply! I will try to see if i can find a psychoanalysis center. I have this interesting relationship with feet. I remember how whenever someone in school mentioned the word "feet" , i just felt like it was a bad word, for some odd reason. Even now, i always try and avoid that word by using some other word, e.g. leg. I am a slightly shy guy. The reason for my shyness could simply be the addiction. When i fap to porn, i usually find feet related porn. It's not like i'm watching sex or something weird. I just find women's feet hot and it makes it hard to stop my addiction. But i will try to put and end to it. Maybe i should also contemplate about why i am addicted to feet. Would that be a good question?