Parththakkar12

Have you heard of the term 'dating'? Do you know what it means? This is a serious question. If you don't, I'd suggest you make sense of the concept of dating first. In all fairness, no one is born knowing what it is. Till then, all I'm going to say is - Don't go around proposing to people right off the bat!! You're going to land yourself in serious trouble if you do that. No fun and games, real talk.

That's the thing about the 'clips channel'. A part of Leo's brand was the long videos, just the fact that they're long! That's what made him unique on youtube. People looking for in-depth content will gravitate towards the long videos any day!!

I would love it!

Here's a theory - It is an attempt to paint guys who get rejected by them as losers to rationalize their rejections and not take responsibility for them. There is this subconscious attitude of 'If you are a strong, alpha-male, you should be able to resist all my boundary-assertions and attempts to resist your advances'. In other words, someone who doesn't violate your boundaries isn't attractive enough for you. If this is true, then yeah, nice guys will finish last. If your metric for the guy being a ‘strong, alpha-male’ is that he should be able to push through all the rejections and shit-tests, then yeah, a nice guy is not going to do that! Because he respects women. What do you think?

To be fair, women who do meditate and do consciousness work really do look better! Their looks do improve with age, their body becomes more 'womanly' so to speak as their consciousness increases.

The reality is that this depends on the standards of the other person.

On a serious note, Ted Bundy had an astounding number of female fans! That was really shocking when I watched the Netflix documentary on him.

What ego defense mechanism?

Why are nice guys being told they don't respect women? What's the actual reason behind it? 'Nice' and 'not being respectful and thinking they own them' somehow don't go together. Does there have to be a selfish reason for it? Are we assuming 'all men are narcissists and if you're not being one, you're not being authentic'? From what I gather, the phrase 'nice guys finish last' is more of a call-out to women for not going for the nice guy when they say they want one!

The 'olden times' you're talking about was a rape and pillage culture. It wasn't women opening themselves sexually! That stage of humanity has yet to come.

@twoosees Investing can absolutely be done consciously. You can have a Life Purpose as an investor, just the way you can have it as an entrepreneur! It's all about what you decide to invest in, what you decide to fund in the world! Do you invest in Coca Cola? Or McDonald's? Or Amazon? Or treasury-bonds? Or do you invest in Tesla? Do keep in mind that you are investing in the company, you are helping to create the company and the societal ramifications involved. The more you do this, the more research you do into the companies you invest in, the more you'll get your own business-ideas and maybe you could find your way into one of these industries someday! That's possible. If I give a big-tech example, maybe you may create a social media app that actually shows the users ads that actually help them with their problems, the algorithm is set up that way instead of to addict users more and more to it.

Or because of feminist conditioning that says 'Men should be attracted to a strong, independent woman. If he isn't attracted to that, he's weak' and then your career is a test to test for how strong the guy is. Or an avoidance-strategy in the context of relationship. There are those women who are really relationship-oriented but because they lack self-worth, they have a 'life-purpose', which, in reality, is workaholism and then this feminist conditioning turns into a justification for their lack of self-worth. Prioritizing the 'life purpose' is not something that's natural to them, it's something that's conditioned into them. Then comes the whole stereotype of buying 9 cats. To be fair, you probably don't relate because your authentic priority probably is your life purpose.

Goddamn you're a monster. How do you do so much?! All by yourself?! You are one tough wo-man.

Another thing about the 'passion for your career being attractive' - This is masculine energy. The passionate pursuit of something. It is masculine energy that women, especially women who value money and success, find attractive in men. These women may tend to be successful and driven themselves, which points to the fact that they'd value these things in a man. However, as someone who is driven towards success myself, I can say that the career-driven energy or the 'hunter energy' or the 'shark energy' in a woman isn't attractive to me. Me being success-oriented myself doesn't mean that I'm going to be attracted to that kind of energy in a woman! Don't get me wrong, I value myself a competent partner and I would be more than willing to give her a role in my growth-process and in the relationship. In fact, this would be the way to handle a competent, success-oriented woman and this would be the alternative to the patriarchy - to give her a role in which her competence is valued. Having a well-developed masculinity can definitely help you be more of a woman, even if the masculinity itself isn't attractive to a masculine man. There is a big difference though between being career-driven and 'doing it all' yourself, which is a masculine thing to do, and to use your understanding of masculinity to discern which guy truly is inherently powerful in his masculinity and which guy isn't. Which guy to trust and which guy to not trust. Remember that trust is a choice. This is the power of femininity. Femininity is not weakness! You can use your masculinity to empower yourself as a feminine woman. It's not the success that's unattractive or the drive. It's the 'independence'. That kills the relationship. Edit - An example of this kind of alternative system to the patriarchy would be - a provider husband who gives a competent wife an active role in his success-chasing pursuits. This is more of a hands-off, indirect role as opposed to a direct, active role, like employee, employer, business-partner, etc. She won't be working with him for a paycheck, she'll be provided for by him. No pressure in the role of a providee! Your bills are taken care of, the pressure of paying your bills isn't on your head. Having said that, her competence will be valued and she can actively be involved in the process of creating that success. What this means is that she isn't powerlessly dependent on him for what she wants, she will be playing an active role in creating her own success and her own abundance, through the relationship. She could get paid too if she wants! Those specifics can vary. Or, if handling money is too much for her, she could let the husband take care of it. The point being, creating this flexibility would be an alternative to the patriarchy in which the providee/wife is much more empowered in the context of money.

That is correct. Either that or a sociopathic player who will try to take advantage of the situation, who will try to scam her for her money using the relationship as a tool. This is unfortunately true. Independence means that a man can't step into a role in your life, can't take the lead in your life. You can be successful but not necessarily independent though. The way to do that would be to offer the other person a role in your life. That's a lot more feminine! Offer the other person a role in your life that they can step into. Even if it's in your success-chasing endeavors. This is probably a male projection, because it is true for men. Men do tend to pursue careers to attract women and to appeal to women. I would feel more comfortable.... on the surface. It depends on how she does it though. For example, a lot of actresses who you can say have a 'feminine job' tend to have a very masculine success-oriented energy. When I got out of the pattern of objectifying women, I stopped finding them attractive.

Nope. What's being said is that we'd want a woman who prioritizes the relationship/family over her career. She can have a career and be passionate about it! Just don't do it to 'attract a guy to your passion for your career' cuz that doesn't work. That's polarity-flipped at best. This thing about prioritizing your relationships/family is not even a gender-role thing. Anyone would want to be prioritized by their partner above their career! Otherwise, you're just being taken for granted in the relationship. This also applies to women with provider husbands who are 'too busy' to spend time with them. Those tend to not end well either.

Ah, so it's this story of 'how hard it is to survive' that makes you career-driven. From what I've seen, this whole story tends to be a coping-mechanism for lack of self-worth. I'm not saying it's not true, I'm saying that it is rooted in low self-worth in relationship. It's more about social approval and maintaining a standard than about survival itself.

I do not relate to this at all. I truly want to know - what's in the relationship for him? Why does he stick around in the relationship with you? Sounds like it's all about you and your career, no space for him in the relationship.

Ikr!! Life just becomes easier when they don't have this huge career distracting them from the relationship. I, quite frankly, see being 'career-driven' as an avoidance-strategy in relationship. This is how it's been for me and after I'm fully done healing my avoidant attachment-style, I'm not so 'career-driven' anymore! Once your self-worth is fixed, you don't have to be a workaholic anymore, as Leo says in his video on workaholism.

@Emerald Is this a romantic relationship or is this a friends-with-benefits situation?

The more I see this, the more I realize that they are unconscious of their biases. PUAs figure out their biases, manipulate those and get into their pants. This is the reality. Doesn't make me very happy to say this.

All of that is good and fine on paper. Anyone can say they are these things. What actually matters, though, is the standards you use in real life to judge whether he is high-quality and mature. Those are the practical ones! What are those?

Here's what I'd ask someone who says this - Do you know, on an explicit level, the kind of role you'd have for a man in your life? What does 'high-quality and mature' actually mean? In a tangible, practical sense. This is crucial for being able to see the very real possibilities with very real men. Men who you wouldn't consider in one context but who would do very well in another context. This can literally change who you're attracted to! The reason I say this is that a lot of times when you ask them, they'll say something like 'Umm, ya know... I just want a really nice guy, who makes me feel safe, and secure, and protected, who makes me feel connected to him...' Yeah. A little more tangible than that please! What does it actually mean to you to feel 'safe, secure and protected'? What makes you feel safe? Does your strategy to create safety for yourself in relationship involve him or not? Is he on your team in that or is he the one you're protecting yourself against? This shit matters!

‘How misunderstandings happen’ could be a really good video-topic for actualized.org or for Leo to talk on. I would love to see an actualized.org episode on this topic!

I have seen very few women who are actually happy being single and unprotected and on their own and so-called 'independent'. Most of them who try to put on a facade of 'I'm strong, happy, independent, I don't need a man' are not really happy, they're coming from a space of bitterness in relationships. It's always some relationship in the past that didn't go so well and now they're like 'Look at how strong and independent I am!! No man has the power to protect me. No man has the ability to attain me because I'm too good of a catch!!' Lol. Big lol. You're not a catch in any sense of the term! It's a massive delusion. No self-respecting adult man wants a bitter woman who competes with him. It's not the success that hurts your dating chances. It's more so the way you use it in your dating-life. If you use it to bring in people into your endeavors and give them roles, you'll do really well in dating! Men love that. If you use it to show how 'strong and independent' you are, which is the opposite of giving people roles in your endeavors because you can 'do it all', nothing repels a man more than that. You will attract 'Peter Pan man-children' though who will want you to 'do it all' for them! Have fun with those.