Parththakkar12

Okay. Suppose that you're the big boss of a company and you have a 3 candidates for a promotion spot, which is a leadership position. 2 are highly qualified women who don't have a lot of experience and one is a man. The man is lesser qualified, but more experienced and his temperament is more like an alpha-male 'I'm gonna call the shots' type. What's the percentage chance you'd choose the man over the women? Leadership is an aspect of masculinity, not femininity! The aforementioned situation is more likely to happen than the other way round. Competition with men is a losing game for women, generally speaking. If women really want empowerment, my suggestion would be that instead of trying to compete with men in the workforce, they get in touch with their divine feminine and embody that. They'd be able to attract a loving providing partner who'd make them feel safe and protected. In such a situation, they'd feel more in their element to express their creative ability. Then, the 'workplace sexism' would become a non-issue! (There's exceptions but this would be the general trend)

Hmm.. Yeah I guess there's also stage yellow/turquoise feminists who understand how they attract oppression by focusing on it. I've seen this to be plain projection in more than a few cases! Not denying the existence of systemic issues here. Patriarchy has been the way humanity has always survived. This won't change for a very long time. There's dysfunctions with the patriarchy, but this doesn't make the whole thing bad/wrong. Demonizing the patriarchy, which is what feminists do, is counter-productive. After men and women have equal rights in the law, it's impossible for men and women to become socially equal. This doesn't mean one side is better than the other, it just means that both sides have different roles to make the whole thing work. If we're able to create a conscious patriarchy, feminism won't be needed. It's a short-term thing which serves only to raise the consciousness relative to gender roles, not demonizing them! I see a fundamental rejection of the femininity of women and the masculinity of men in feminists and this is counter-productive for it's purpose. Thank you for seeing that! Somebody is getting blamed though, it's probably the system as a whole.

But who is looking at men's issues / the abuses of feminism towards men? Feminists sure as hell aren't doing that. There is a lot of man-hating and glorification of unhealthy female independence that goes on in those circles which gets rationalized away. To my eyes, (I'm taking care to be politically correct here) feminists say they're about equality, but really they're about out-manning and out-competing men and being female supremacists. You can't tell men to not be self-centered when you yourself are being self-centered! (If you're a feminist woman) This also makes me think that feminism is really both on Stage Orange (The independent careerwoman who don't need no man) and Stage Green (The compassionate ones who care about systemic issues of women). There's shadows in both these categories which we're overlooking. Before moderating my comment, remember that this is a thread for critically looking at feminism.

I like the videos of Stephan Erdman on pick-up. He assesses pick-up accurately and gives some decently good insights into better ideas than it!

@Serotoninluv Was she a self-sacrificing mom? Did you pick up on regrets about having kids or the sense that she didn't really want them? I'm asking about this cuz if she genuinely wanted to have her kids, connecting with you wouldn't get in the way of her situation with her kids! Maybe she could've brought her kids in when connecting with you. (Imagine creating that kind of a family tho!) When a single mom is able to find connection with a man / masculine support, that's almost always good for the kids.

When a man says 'I have been abused by women as a whole in XYZ ways. This is why I'm going MGTOW.' or something like that, why is it always dismissed as whining/weakness? When everyone you've met is playing zero-sum games with you/emotionally abusing you, going MGTOW could also be a healthy decision, can't it? There's a hypocrisy here : When a man abuses a woman, it's on the man, but when a woman abuses a man, it's still on the fucking man! There seems to be a lack of acknowledgement of the agency of women and the vulnerability of men here. It's like 'A real man can dig a well in the middle of the desert' without noticing that finding water in there is next to impossible!

@Patrick Lynam Your life purpose has nothing to do with whether or not you have friends. However, you do need friends and a personal life. Being alone is emotionally unhealthy. Human beings are not emotionally independent, we're emotionally inter-dependent. You have emotional needs like belonging, closeness, self-expression, significance, etc. which you have other people meet for you. Our cultures tend to be independence-obsessed because of which we tend to glorify the myth that independence is good! This leads to people gaslighting each other into believing that you should be emotionally independent. Its a total myth. Don't buy it!

@Serotoninluv I'm in a similar situation with similar relationship goals to be honest. I'm happy for you that you're in a place in your life where you can actually date around to find this dream inter-dependent conscious relationship you're describing! I'm in the visualizing stages right now. I probably need a life purpose first in order to be able to sustain a conscious connected relationship. In fact, being in the kind of conscious attachment you're describing wasn't possible for me cuz of my wage-slavery! I could find conscious people to socialize with. But, I couldn't have them seriously conclusively enter my life cuz of personal struggles. Anyways. Have you looked into Teal Swan's material? She could be just what you're looking for in terms of help creating this sort of conscious personal life, and helping you resolve the threshold guardians that come in your way so to speak. If you don't mind me asking you, what exactly was your last ex afraid of?

@Serotoninluv I understand you're not trying to contradict me. I'm not trying to contradict you either. I'm comparing and contrasting your context with mine and trying to understand your situation too. Out of curiosity, what do you want your relationship to be about? What I mean by that is, what do you mean when you say deep meaningful connection?

@bejapuskas The power comes in the context of relationships, not independence! We're not trying to be independent here, rather we're trying to have the inherent upper hand in relationships. The power lies in the social stuff.

By untouchable I meant nobody will be able to take advantage of your powerlessness, i.e. manipulative tactics won't work on you. What kind of suffering are you talking about? Is it loneliness?

@Serotoninluv If you're playing the power game to beat the other person, then yeah it will cause suffering. However, if you just have power which makes you untouchable, i.e. you won't settle for abusive relationships as a result of it, then that's a great thing! Power is a tool that can be used as you want to use it. For me, I think gaining power will work as long as I feel short of it.

@bejapuskas I don't believe in self-blame. It feels a lot more empowering to put the blame where it belongs and have other people correct what they're doing to me first. Then we think about giving someone a chance. Until then, we're gonna go on our merry way! You guys don't know how much power there is in being able to say, 'Fuck everyone! I'm just gonna go my way.' No narcissism, no blaming, just access to leverage power in relationships. The person who can walk away from relationships has the most power in them! This is essentially innoculation from ever settling for less in a relationship. If MGTOW really is an authentic decision, you won't feel a need to whine and complain about women! You'll just be on your merry way. For the people who whine and complain, it may not really be an authentic decision. You can make this decision without feeling any negativity towards women.

How does a Spiral Dynamics Stage Orange Investor tend to assess whether a business will succeed or fail? I'm assuming this stage of the spiral cuz people generally want to make 'rational' decisions relative to capital they invest in a business. I don't have a business or an investor, this is part of my visioning process/planning. Would the key be to show them increasing numbers?

Actually yes. It's been a subconscious belief the whole time, and I'm not at the point in my healing process where I want to question it. I wish I could be more PC, but this is the reality. It's not demonization per se, rather it's a paralyzing fear of having a woman be responsible for my emotional well-being. This fear is backed by negative beliefs about women as a whole. By 'we' I mean myself!! I don't have a rational justification tbh, It felt more empowering to the part of me which has felt abused and emotionally neglected by women as a whole.

Here's the situation : Rape is a serious crime/violation which 'good people' aren't supposed to do. Also, before birth control, having sex meant that you had children, which is why it had to be regulated and casual sex was hard to come by. The huge stigma around sex was to make rape a bad thing and to make casual sex a bad thing. When that happens, the people who can repress sex the best are considered the best people morally, i.e. they'll be valued in society. In such a situation, the people who choose celibacy will be promoted in the religious ranks!

I guess we gonna stay MGTOW then till we find empathetic people who care about men! Being empathetic doesn't mean though that you pick sides and demonize 'greedy women'. It's one of those 'Change my mind' situations where I'm open to my mind getting changed. Only time will tell how that's gonna happen! Not having empathy and assuming separation is included in emotional abuse btw. That causes suffering as it denies the reality that we're all one on an emotional level.

I'm gonna assume whatever I want. I (or anyone) don't have to be politically correct in my beliefs! #ThePowerOfMGTOW I'm not saying I'm going MGTOW, nor am I justifying/advocating for anything an individual person/group of people does. Chances are they're seeking validation for the pain of the abuses they've been through.

I'd rather care about what people think and why, thanks!

Man did you really count these?!?! I mean seriously, I'd lose track after like 10 or something

I just found out that I've never really had the desire to have sex with any specific person. I've been attracted to a lot of women, but didn't want to actually sleep with them! The reason is lack of emotional connection. I've had the avoidant attachment style from the very beginning, which makes me feel unsafe in relationships, which is not a good thing in bed. That's why, I wasn't able to find compatibility with anyone. Do guys struggle with this or is this a woman thing? Feeling emotionally unsafe in bed is only something I've heard women describe, not men!! It's a huge surprise for me, given the number of PUAs who just say, 'Man up, man harder, man so hard that your biceps shouldn't fit in any shirt!!'. Do PUAs consider this or not, given that they're coming from an emotionally wounded space? Is banging a lot of girls supposed to be emotionally safe for a guy?

Even if you manage to do that, sleeping with emotionally incompatible women (which is most women. Very few of them will be compatible, it's just what the numbers say.) is just unsafe! I haven't seen anyone factor this in. Can someone tell me what's going on with this, i.e. why is everyone missing this?

I'm a guy and I had an imploding orgasm just a few days ago. The best orgasm ever!! Your level of energy will increase because of those. (as opposed to the exploding orgasm which is usual for men. The exploding one takes away your energy.) The lesser resistance you have to them, the more likely you are to attract someone who's also able to surrender to it. I don't do it everyday. It's more of a once a month thing for me cuz I don't really know when it'll happen! It's more of something you surrender to when it happens.

Also, don't let 'independent people' gaslight you into believing that independence and 'having your space' is healthy in the long run. The fundamental reason we want space is cuz we're afraid of losing our boundaries! The reason is fear-based, not natural. There's nothing wrong with you for being 'needy' or having emotional needs. Even desperation is technically okay. It doesn't make you weak! It will only repel avoidant people cuz they'll be scared of losing their boundaries with someone who's desperate, but you don't want to be with such a person anyways! You want to be with someone who accepts you for who you are. Demonization of 'neediness', 'desperation', etc. is a product of our independence-obsessed avoidant cultures.

@assx95 Dump her!! She's not worth your time. There's a lot of people out there who genuinely want a committed relationship. She doesn't want a committed relationship, as much as she may bullshit you that she does (To be a good person or whatever)! She is hurting you emotionally (unlike what @Preety_India is saying). We're not an independent species, we're a relationally dependent species. Avoidance, silent treatment is emotional abuse, which you're letting her do to you cuz you're not stating your boundaries. Now I'm not saying she's an evil person, but we treat our intimate partners the way our parents treated us when we were little (this may be something to understand about her). It's important for you to look into why you're attracted to unavailable people and work with that pattern. I'd suggest inner-child work. Also, being more assertive with your boundaries is critical.