Dylan Page

@Serotoninluv could you elaborate on that? I’m not sure what that means. There is no situation in which suffering is better than neutrality or positivity, even if you are learning a lesson from that pain. You could have learnt that lesson in a way that caused a good emotion, rather than a bad one. The seeming fact that struggle is necessary for growth is immediately concerning. Why should we have to suffer to learn and change? Why would god do that? Some would say it’s to learn empathy. My response is, we wouldn’t need to empathize with pain if nobody felt it. Why can’t survival be a pleasureful process rather than either a pain in the ass or miserable? All of these questions regarding pain have never, ever been justified to me in a way that is even remotely reasonable at all. All I’ve heard is “for love”. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that response?

The idea that you can get “unlucky” is really fucking sad if it’s true. There should be no such thing as: you got unlucky so enjoy being tortured and raped for 30 days and then killed immediately after with no retribution. Justifying that with a sort of “god is all loving” claim just seems so hilariously contradictory. I’ve heard so many responses to the existence of pain like this and they just make me laugh with how poorly thought out they are. @Spaceofawareness

@Spaceofawareness ok and what about things like torture, where you can’t run away?

I personally think that voting as an individual is a waste of time. My individual vote means nothing amongst the sea of voters out there. Why vote if I have effectively 0 impact.

@Leo Gura I mean, even in a sea of only 1000 people my vote still has pretty much no impact. I still don’t see your point. The reason a killer would justify murder isn’t because he thinks “eh 1 in 7 billion, this has effectively 0 impact”, it’s because he just fuckin loves it or something. However, with voting, the reason actually applies. I don’t think the logic actually does mean all of those other things that you listed.

@Nahm indeed, but is it wrong?

Bump

So, I’ve noticed that every day for the past 6 or 7 months that every time I do not pursue or further my understanding of reality or answer the questions that I have I get a sort of extreme anxiety where if I ignore it for too long I end up getting a panic attack or just full body breakdown where I can’t move and I go into full fight/flight and it’s so hard to tell why. This happens consistently every single day. I can still enjoy life but many times its really fucking hard. I also feel at the same time that if I didn’t have this sort of forced move towards further understanding my life would be empty and meaningless. Does anyone know what’s going on/maybe can relate?

@Leo Gura how do I determine my own ego’s level of maturity?

Right now, I was finally able to accept the possibility that reality, my environment, and my identity could all be creations, or foundation-less constructs. I realized that even if they aren’t fundamental parts of some sort of grounded reality, I love them all anyways, and it doesn’t matter if I’m dreaming them all up. I haven’t confirmed or denied whether they are or they are not for myself, but needless to say I’m very relieved in a sense that I was finally able to accept that and discover that even without them being grounded, I can love them regardless, which is something I feared would be lost in this process.

So I smoked some weed and things all the sudden felt super, super different. I am used to the world being a certain way and when that was messed with I felt very uncomfortable and everything felt random. I felt like I was in some sort of psychedelic world where nothing is static and everything was abnormal as fuck. What should I take from this experience? I tried to let go as Leo’s video explained but I really could not feel ok. Everything felt so awful, so confusing and I just wanted to get out.

@Leo Gura I also have this strong desire for reality to be grounded in a sense. I want there to be some sort of home base because sometimes I’ll just look around me and think “where the fuck am I?” “Why here?”. It all feels so random. Do you find a sense of grounding in the groundless?

@Leo Gura Haha maybe, but the thing that scares me is that I’ll die before I discover it. And I mean physically. That is definitely my greatest fear and the thought that it could happen to me is fucking terrifying.

I watched an article on this 17 year old little girl who lost her memory function. She got “reset” every 2 hours or so. I cannot fucking imagine living like that. I would be so scared and sad. Everything a human being aspires for in life depends on a sort of history and future. You would be stuck in a loop until you die. The thought of being in that experiences sounds like actual hell, yet there is a girl in the real world who actually has to go through that. It’s just like, why? Why would any current age human being want that. And why would that be something “god” creates.

@Leo Gura eh man, at this point I’m getting a little used to the radical perspective shifts, I just get kind of disturbed by all the suffering in the world. Doesn’t make any sense.

@Leo Gura With time

@Aaron p yeah idk about that man lol, I’ll have to give it some time. I get really fucking miserable sometimes when I confront some of this stuff. But I’m definitely open to it when I feel I’m ready.

@Leo Gura I had another experience like this and I wasn’t even on drugs. The second I got out of high school and I asked myself what the fuck I am gonna do, I all in one moment realized that A) I’m gonna die, and B) that the world is a lot different and bigger than my small little high school reality. I freaked the absolute fuck out and was shivering and all that shit. Couldn’t sleep for days and lost like 15 pounds. I’m used to it now but when your world is so small and so limited and it gets forcefully ripped open like that, it really is quite a shock.

So after having this huge motivation to figure out reality and truth and all that good stuff, I feel like I’ve sort of hit a point where I don’t need to keep pursuing it as intensely. I was motivated by fear and I don’t feel as scared anymore. Now I’m just taking life one day at a time but it doesn’t feel like it’s going anywhere. It’s boring, normal, and stale. I still find little instances of joy here and there but I have a general sense that something is missing. I don’t know what it is or how to find it but I guess I’m thinking maybe someone here knows what’s going on.

@WelcometoReality I’m not entirely sure what an awakening would feel like. I’ve had some shocking realizations though. I’ve watched most of Leo’s videos made since like 2018

@Nahm how would I be able to tell?

@Meta-Man yeah I’m willing to experiment with it more I guess, I’m just worried about it because when I did it I felt like I was going insane. Nothing felt normal or ok and it scared me. My family has some sort of genetic inclination for schizophrenia and psychedelics are known to be catalysts for that. I really don’t want to go through something like that and so you can see my hesitation. I think I’ll slowly work my way back up. Maybe I’ll try mushrooms again soon.

@Consilience that was great, I appreciate the advice man. I’ll definitely keep what you have said in mind and will try some stuff out. Thank you

@Meta-Man yeah I did acid once. I don’t like visuals though. I cherish the stability of my environment and acid really fucks with that. I also went through some delusional thinking that caused a sort of panic attack, it was really bad and I don’t think I’ll be doing it again.

@Consilience I don’t ever do crisscross sit down meditation but every night before I go to bed I sit in silence for a bit. my attention span is fine, it’s more a matter of interest. I do not work out my diet is not amazing but I don’t have the money or desire to perfectly craft my diet I sleep 7 hours a night I never spend time in nature I have strong friendships, but nothing I would consider powerful I jerk off like once or twice a day happiness to me is contentment, satisfaction, optimism, understanding, and growth.