Danioover9000

Hello forum, after much struggle I finally got some shrooms and worked the courage to try it out. I was tempted not to share and typically keep insights to myself that were personal, but my close friend persuaded me otherwise to share this one. I researched a bit, and the suggested dose was 1.5 grams. I instead took 1 gram because I like whole numbers and am a chicken with new experiences in life. Also, I went to a room I double checked for safety, secured it, took out objects I don't like/ have negative association, and put objects I liked. I also had my best friend as a trip sitter. I trust her enough to babysitting me in this trip. I didn't include trip music, because I wanted pure experience of it. After taking the shrooms, during the 15 minutes I was lying down doing some form of letting go, letting go of what I expect about this mushroom, calming myself down in case something from my past crops up in trip. My experience with meditation and mindfulness was helpful. Around 25-30 minute mark, it hit me. I began to see the colours around my room brighten up and saw light patterns forming, not just on the walls but on my arms and spreading out around my body I'm seeing. I also felt my heart race a bit and felt really happy and surprised about my body. I wasn't expecting it to be very bright and lively! I lost track of time and began to walk around the room, smiling at the lamp, the cabinets and my friend like an idiot! I think it's comparable to some of my visualization sessions but the quality was so high! I had some minor insights into what colours are and what feeling emotional really feels like. Like just wow! I haven't felt this strongly happy for a while. I don't know what happened next, but my friend started humming and the colours started glowing from bright to dim and the walls had ripples on it, like it's not a typical wall I know anymore! I think roughly half an hour later I was coming down a bit and decided to lie down and it felt so relaxing to lie down. I think I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, I was happily giving flake to my friend for not being quiet, but she just shrugged. Wether she did it or I hallucinated the humming I don't know. Anyways hoped this experience is interesting for you and maybe some inspiration to trip. I might trip again next week, the week after or next month. See you all later!

@SOUL , @Derek White , @Javfly33 While I'm involved in tulpamancy I found out that these practices and concepts originated in Tibetan Buddhism, out of a small group that deals with using visualizations that create beings and worlds to destroying them over and over again as a way to attain enlightenment for many hours. A female scientist was able to disguise herself as a male monk and lived with this group for about a year and learnt the esoteric art of this group. Regardless if they knew or not, they taught her how to visualize into being a wolf tulpa, and after a year of training, when she finally returned to see her colleagues, she was able to will this wolf before the group and somehow her colleagues could discern features of her wolf. wether the accounts are true or not, this demonstrates how powerful imagination is already, without even starting the journey to develop this power. Physical, non-physical, it's so powerful that it's fluid. What you see is what you get.

Here's my working definitions of solipsism in case you find yourself in such a position at some point: 1. A state where one's perception has changed from identifying an outer thing, static or dynamic, as an illusion more so than as the noun one is accustomed of attributing this thing/object as, within that one's mind. 2. An idea/notion of oneself ,the subject, as a consistently existing entity as real and another being(human, animal, plants), the objects, as something not real, not consistently existing as oneself 3. A belief in that oneself is real and others are not, and through repetition and emotional charge this belief becomes a more solid identity than a fluid one e.g. I'm a solipsist, I believe in solipsism, with negative/positive feelings behind these words... 4. A notion that offers "shelter" from the effects of depersonalization /derealization from e.g. external traumatic circumstances, spiritual growth, schizophrenia, multiple identities. A form of denial of the self as an illusion as much as the world is (technically, the world's realness is denied). 5. A form of misinterpretation of glimpsing The True Self, either the suffering is too much or the lack of focus dilutes the glimpse's effects onto body/mind. 6. A placeholder of depression, nihilism, anger, confusion and most types of suffering. A way of justified evil, from self to other, and justified victimization of self from another. I hope I helped with explaining what solipsism roughly is. If this resonates with you, you're in the solipsism trap. Any questions, let me know. Peace!

@SoonHei Nice analogy!

Wait until you get involved in making a tulpa for months/years, designing a sentient being in the mind space, and realize at some point in that journey that that's how God designed you as well. If you're serious enough, you could samedhi with the tulpa. Of course, mystical/paranormal experiences, psychedelics and enlightenment helps too.

Could you elaborate more on experiencing this solipsism trap? And how are you so far now?

Easy there! I've been through that negative swirl, and I came out much better than before, as soon as I realized I was feeding the swirl. It's typical to go through a stage where you blame the person or situation outside yourself for these negative thoughts and feelings. That dynamic is natural when an ego tries to deconstruct itself. While that dynamic adds more negativity, it is normal. Venting out the negativity is another thing. Ideally, I wouldn't vent it out in public spaces, online included, because that doesn't help most of the time. Either vomit that out on the journal here, or in private. It's not worth the risk of getting kicked out.

Come to think about it, when I've experienced negative effects of self inquiry back then, it sucks because I wasn't aware that this solipsism trap is a thing, and it took quite a while for me to re-ground myself amid the swirls of thoughts around me.

@Gsk , @OBEler , @The Lucid Dreamer I could relate to the confusion, anger and suffering when solipsism and awakening are being conflated with each other. I've had experienced a haunting with an evil ghost, and recently have a friendly spirit with me, and those experiences combined with self inquiry I did 2 years ago added more negativity, but I handled that well enough not to do something dangerous to myself and others. I've recently found that I might have a tulpa and have been involved in tulpamancy, and after some time of doing exercises for developing tulpae I have a little bit more of an understanding about solipsism confusion and even nihilism. I recommend some of you try tulpamancy out and find out yourselves. I think at the relative level, these practices might help in understanding how identities are constructed and how they develop. If you're brave, though, develop psychedelic experiences and do 5-Meo-DMT and see for yourself.

You have potential to be a good poet. You might want to study other poetry forms before doing free verse. Also, *instantaneously.

Don't speak of compassion so cheaply.

I'm calling out your irresponsible and disrespectful posts to the people who have the disease and those who're afraid of it, and you being a smart ass! Not once did I say I'm a materialist, or a spiritualist, or whatever position I am, I'm calling you out. While I'll never ,100%, understand you, I know enough that your being ignorant, and being irresponsible.

And aggressively addressing people here who may or may not be stressed or fearful of this virus already isn't a good image for newcomers to spirituality. You've shown them how compassionate you are towards people who're sick and the pandemic that's developing: oh, actually that's all imagination! Those don't exist.

The people who died didn't ask for this to happen! You're not there to see what goes on, the suffering they experience. That kind of thinking helps spread the virus! I'm more sick of the stories you're telling here. It's wonderful and nice to talk about this stuff and pretend you're very strong against it, until the virus gets passed onto you and it actualizes in your body! No amount of beliefs will help you at that point.

Most likely the virus is here to stay.

@BETGR164128 Who are you to say what exists and what doesn't? Corona virus at the moment doesn't exist for you, until you get the virus. But that virus is real and happening to other people who are infected, and not real for those who are not infected! Yet that doesn't excuse prevention methods to slow it down. And watch what you say. It's insensitive to those who are bearing the virus and the ones dying from it!

That's ok. Some men will improve slower or faster than others, and a few will suffer greater than others. If it gets to the point that the suffering turns very dark, then you can confidently say that dating isn't for you, and move on to improve a different part of your life. You'll know when to move on.

Best porn? ?

All I can say is that the Chinese culture and government brought this onto themselves. From the bio weapons labs, to how they can eat bizzare animals, and the many lies they're telling. It's no coincidence that there were two research facilities on bio weapons was 300 meters away from Wu Han and the other several kilometers away, and those facilities were testing on bats in order to isolate the many viruses bats carry. Bio chemical weapons were notorious for not just afflicting artificial pathogens to the enemy population, but for the many controls needed to ensure this shit doesn't infect the people using them. And that chinese doctor got infected with this virus. And eating strange animals, bats included, doesn't help the situation! The chinese are also known for their treatment of animals and sometimes eating live animals. All the more likely that eventually a pathogen meant for that particular species could take the jump to now infecting humans. Now the Chinese are put in a situation they must save face, so they tell lies. One lie is that "the virus only kills children and elderly and any people unfit, so middle aged and healthy people are ok". Well, the Chinese doctor that had it was 19 and healthy and ended up dead. Recently, a Chinese person revealed that people who're infected and not dead yet, but dying, are put in body bags and sent to cremation. This is crazy. This shows one way devilry works at the collective level when it's survival is threatened.

Ok I thought you meant an armchair philosophy on spirituality in your original post. What I meant is the kind of speculation that is different. For example, a lighter, cable, stones, branches and leaves could be taken for granted. However, in a survival situation, a lighter, cable, stones, branches and leaves take on more meaning than conventional ones, and you would create a combination of things and use these objects beyond what is considered normal. I've been through that kind of situation and that kind of speculation was what I encountered. Doesn't even involve spirituality. If you haven't experienced that, that's fine. I'm just not ready to throw the baby out with the water. Thanks for posting!

I heard in one of the videos Leo saying speculation is mental masturbation. In one of those videos, he brought up examples of speculating about god "what is god? Maybe god is this or maybe god is that." and so on. I don't understand it though. For example, here's one way I'm speculating. I'm thinking about a pen, and I'm wondering about it for a while, and I go about my day. Another way is that I'm looking at this pen and thinking about alternative ways and forms that are new, better product/service, multiple ways of it being useful, and I go create the pen I've speculated about, however long that takes. So, what's really bad about speculating?

This reminds me of the multiple uses test you could take to see how creative you are. Thanks for posting!

@Hardkill It depends on how intuitive you are, how experienced you are reading people's emotions and body, how committed you are, and how fast you learn. The guy, from my view, is being too needy and logical about all this.

Short answer: Yes, they exist.

Thanks for posting. I meant not just for spirituality or existence, but for things in general, or for when you want your product/service to evolve to the next level. I've speculated enough to know when it gets unproductive.