roopepa

She's right. This happens to me almost every time I first have sex with a new partner. It's because you're stressed out, self-conscious. You'll come the next time. Don't worry. Keep it light. If you feel tired and the orgasm isn't coming, you can take a break. Drink some water, just cuddle for a moment, massage her, hug, kiss. Sex isn't just a about the genitals. Connect emotionally as well. You'll feel a lot more relaxed.

How much did you smoke? Did you smoke every day, almost constantly high or more like a few times a week? How long have you been without smoking as of today?

Meditation isn't about getting somewhere. It's not about god-realization, ego-death or mystical experiences. There is no goal. There is nothing to happen. Meditation is melting away all those concepts. Meditation is seeing "goals" and "results" for what they are, thoughts.

So there is only truth, no person to know the truth, no enlightened people.? Does ego-deaths and god-realizations have anything to do with this? Is there even such a thing as ego? One could as well be thinking about puppies and flowers as existential and metaphysical questions?

I don't really care about tripping and mystical experiences that much. Life - wise, I want to live happily, I want a family, an inspiring carreer, beautiful art, nature, friendship, tears of joy, well-being of all humanity. And I want eternal home. I want true peace. I want to end suffering. I want heaven on earth. Is this what you refer to as enlightenment?

YES

What if truth was good What if the world was paradise nothing to overcome no darkness or unpurity to avoid What if there was no work to do nowhere to go, nothing to achieve and nothing to prove What if truth was open to all What if truth was unconditional What if you didn't need to do anything you didn't want to do nothing to fight, nothing to sacrifice Why would anyone settle for anything less? What if truth was good to all forever

Each thought, each narrative, each story, each deduction, however logical or true it may seem, can be cut short and returned to the silence and spaciousness of direct experience. One breath at a time. One better thought at a time.

In the early cultures, hunter gatherers for example, power was not centered for the most selfish. It was for the most experienced, oldest. There wasn't even an idea of a separate individual yet. Capitalism is not some universal "human nature" and a pinnacle of human civilization, a "natural system". The idea that human nature = selfish materialist is just propaganda the social matrix feeds people to keep the system running. Look at the people on this forum. Most active users here would choose emotional and spiritual well-being instead of material posessions and power in a heartbeat.

"Human nature" is whatever the current system benefits from. What it needs people to believe. A few hundred years ago "human nature" meant a sinful creature in trial by judgemental divine power.

Grace is the natural state of being. Just like love, it's always shining, always available. Thought-attachment brings the shade. Meditation is really good, the best for "recieving" this "energy". Also books and gurus just like Salvijus said. Abraham-Hicks truly changed my life. I read like 5 pages of one book and I sensed the presence of Abraham. Depression was healed in that instant. I've found crystals to be very helpful too. Crystal is symmetry and unconditionality. Wearing a crystal around your neck is like bringing grace everywhere you go.

Does scamming oneself count? "This isn't really about Actualized.org. This is about me. I had spirituality backwards. The Actualized - part is just projection. The name of this thread should be: the issue with spiritual seeking/work. The issue with seeking/work is that it is fundamentally already based on untruth. From the perspective of direct experience and the law of attraction, it's backwards. Seeking implies something missing, and work implies something to be done, somewhere to get. This is the wheel spinning in mud, getting nowhere. It's really just about being who you are. No teaching/learning, but expression. No understanding, but meditation."

Last night I saw a really vivid and interesting dream. I was hanging out with a certain trans-man I've met a couple of times. We were talking about the LGBTQ+ and feminist movement. At some point, he mentioned a "third step". I asked him what he meant by that, and he explained that there are three main steps a person takes in their relationship regarding gender identity and sexual orientation. He said that also the collective is going through the same steps. When I woke up, I wrote down the steps. As you can see, it's similar to evolutionary models such as SD. Here they are: No steps: stark duality between men and women, strong heteronormativity, no other gender identities and sexual orientations are recognized: they literally don't exist, or are simply seen as an individuals choice to be evil/immoral. The first step: alternative gender identities and sexual orientations are recognized as legit things and not individual choices, though they are seen as a mistake in nature, a disorder. The second step: all gender identities and sexual orientations are seen as healthy, natural part of human existence. Gender is separate from biological sex, identity is separate from "essence". The third step: all identity, gender and biological sex is purely conceptual and basically illusory. Boundless, silent, free sexual / gender expression. What do you guys think? ? Quite an amazing dream. I know it's pretty basic stuff if you're familiar with SD and such but it was cool to see the subconscious or whatever connect some dots.

Been seeing the same thing. It's all about breathing and silence here & now. There is no ego, no survival, no higher consciousness, none of that in breathing and silence. The language of God is silence.

Oh wow. I guess this is one of those things that have been missing. I want a family too. Thinking a future / adulthood with family and marriage feels very different than one without. It's A LOT better. Ermahgerd. So much depth and insight here. About self-referential thinking and living for others. Giving is recieving. You know what I mean.

I guess not.

@Ivan Dimi There is also the idea that life is a school. That we're here to learn something. I see this one is quite popular in new age circles. And that life is a test. That one is widespread in many religions. We're being tested if we are good/righteous/godly/devout enough. Hardly no-one dares to think there is nothing to learn, nothing to prove, nothing to achieve, nothing to figure out. So there's always some need for suffering, for fear, guilt and shame. I've been suspecting that this is what suffering fundamentally is. This is why the ego suffers. Because it thinks there exists a need for it. Which then is projected as all kinds of narratives and philosophies. @Nahm Whatchu think of that ⬆️ ?

There is no need for suffering. There is no a you to fight or surrender. Have you smoked cannabis or used psychedelics lately? I'm quite sure this experience was nothing special, just discordant thoughts projected as dream-like hallucination. Stuff like this might happen right before falling asleep. What comes to anxiety and difficulty relaxing and sleeping, focus on the large muscels in leg area and breathing from the stomach.

Why would anyone ever look for not-fun? ? jk. Try Hinge? It's for more serious folk. Is this a deep rooted belief or a just thought now?

"I am the way and the truth and the life."

@SQAAD You're conceptualizing infinity. Rationalization and conceptualization will not do, and cannot hold the truth, because actual is not conceptual (dual). Infinity does not mean that a you will experience everything, including all the worst things. Infinity means freedom and love. There is no boundary, no restriction. You are conceptualizing and thus projecting boundary and restriction onto Life. And feeling the discord, as that one dude would say. Listen to how you're feeling. You are meant to feel good. That's all you have ever wanted. Take a look at your situation. Maybe there is some confusion going on, as you're spending your time watching gore material, preparing for future torture. Is that how you want to feel? Is that the life you want? Is that what life is designed for? Feeling is the language of the soul. Joy, truth, love. These three are interchangeable, and one always leads to the other. It matters not in which order they are placed.

There is a hundred thousand "truths" and "facts" and "studies" and "statistics" and "arguments" and whatever ideas & beliefs you could internalize and believe, that makes you feel like shit about yourself and life. I recommend you not to swallow them. Your wellbeing is most important. Don't let anyone tell you that the best time is at your 20s. Don't let anyone set such anxiety and pressure on you. Fuck Jordan Peterson and his nonsense. You are you and you can do and be and think whatever you want. What comes to the pandemic times, you can still date you know? There's Tinder. Check outside your hometown. People are still going on dates and building relationships. You just gotta readjust to the present situation.

Basically any drug can be used to gain insights and such, because they change your state of mind. Some native american tribes used tobacco as an entheogen. Zen monks might drink matcha. Rastafarians smoke cannabis. Pretty much every culture has some drug they use to change the state of mind, and it often has some sort of spiritual purpose too. There might even be a specific divinity/spirit for a drug. Opium, kawa, khat, coca... The list goes on. All of these can and have been used to gain trance states and such. You know bay leaf, the one you can find in your kitchen? In ancient greece, it was believed to be sacred and incite divine inspiration. Yup, it's a narcotic. But I wouldn't advice anyone to use alcohol as a spiritual tool, as it's addictive and can ruin lives. It's also toxic for the body, as are most of these drugs. And yes, it really is addictive. Don't start looking for justification and reasons to drink alcohol. Don't go down that road. States are just states. What you want is to fill your whole life with clarity and beauty and joy and peace. That can be done without any substances.

@SQAAD Where does the "have to's" and "only thing that makes sense's" come to god & infinity? How could god & infinity be this finite? And how do you get from oneness to a you experiencing torture in the future?

What exactly makes you think you will experience that kind of stuff? I assume you have some sort of philosophy or metaphysical theorizing going on that tells you so? Have you ever thought that you or Leo might be simply confused about some things?