zeroISinfinity

Removed coffee had headaches for 2 long days. Admiting to gf tgat I cheated on her also didn't help. Ok no cocqine stick to ? lsd and dmt if by some miracle find it. Not into spiritual quest now I want this stuff just for sake of fun. Well psychedelic takes itself lol.

I keep on thinking on hot witch girlfriend which for so many years never appeared. Keep on dreaming son. Hook that gets you motivated.

Worst part is that no one can help me. Deatg before death it is not just saying it is very real. Ok I'll accept because I have no options do I but want my wish granted to not have anything to do with spirituality in full scope and in every possible way for the rest of the dream. If I somehow make it to old age.

Atm I radiate Love. I really do not know what to do at this point. It's becoming worse and worse. I really do not know will I be here in next 5 years for example. Probably because I said I want to be able to give shaktipat. My hands are radiating so hard too. Ok got healing stuff but I mean c'mon. Materialism dog eat doggo I really wish that world back.

I always been dead. Bloody hell this thing. Part of me wants life part of me wants to dream part of me wants complete death. Torn apart so much and yet again I have no option but to surrender. Infinite Love no escape. Eternal Singularity no wonder I am so jelous at peeps easy for them.

Have question. @WaveInTheOceanHow to rip ❤️ out and be normal again? I really can't bare this thing I need help I really do. Is there method to shut it off. I want to reverse process. Holly fuck I am so dead. I really am bloody hell.

Look closer it's Love.

Yeah real fantasy. Jed and his vacation. But there is no vacation before you die. So paradoxical. For vacation you don't pay money you give your 'self' and everything that goes with it. Kinda losing half of total package deal. Because of this ❤️ thing I laugh all the God damn time. It really was a set up. But why it was hidden. Why it never allowed me to feel like this? Also caused me suffering because I didn't know anything or what exactly I am looking for in life. Bloody hell.

Infinite Love is not scary it is terrifying. Nothing more terrifying then that. Really wish you to experience yourself as that. This enlightenment stuff is about that.

Do I have to? It's against forum rules. Lots of naked chicks there. Yes even cocaine. Hey never tried that. Don't judge.

@mandyjw Talking with @Nahm is terrifying. Yes that's why I avoid ever calling him on skype. That's the last thing I will ever do. Nothing scares me away more then that. At the same time having deepest admiration and I know he knows this stuff to full extent but at the very same time I am so afraid of him. You know I tried to BS Leo but they do not allow that once you expose yourself kinda expect from you to help lol.

Now lets prove that I made it all up. Entire "life". I date Grace Elizabeth. Nonsensical lol.

Yup baby 6 feet under already. Walking in my own tomb. I love this guy. Very truthful. Knows everything so I can't BS him, verry shitty feeling I must add. There ain't no world guys you made entire thing up. ? There is only you, alone tripping your balls out with everything, including this forum.

@Exystem Awesome man. Need to take lsd. Because of ? I cry and I am extremly compassionate after. This sounds fun. Found ? but where to find lsd. Hard to find it where I live, heroin everywhere but not lsd. God damn. But that type of behaivor is also reason I rejected drugs as technology that can bring me to truth. Had friends who were act that way awesome happiness and love and next day same old story depressed, "problems" etc were taking drugs just to hit one instance of happiness that's how it looked to me. Also had gf pretty much in shitty mood all the time only on drugs ahe could be happy so I rejected that stuff.

Yes exactly like most of the stuff we got brainwashed by society and culture. Be your own master. Don't manipulate be naive sheep when everyone manipulates and deceives you from birth to death.

@Shmurda Develop single pointed focus. While meditating focus on ❤️. Completelly surrender. Forget everything like non of this stuff ever happened like you never lived life at all. Want Truth for its' own sake and that's it. You can do it with meditation but take that 5 meo stuff it will save your time. Self Realization is death and if you are really into Leo's level of awakening then that's what will have to face accept and go through. You don't have to but if you are really into it then you will actually die. Best "experience" there is but it is so terrifying. Hardest part comes after Self Realization it's all sweet philosophical stuff before it.

@IJB063 Yes, God. Infinite Love that's what I am.

Love yourself. Why wasting time, why not test her? Why beleiving her stories about herself when you can actually check how she actually is. If you want to stay with her it's better to actually know reasons why she is staying with you in first place. Some girl said here on forum most accurate thing ever. Woman want adventure they are not with you because you are something special or from love. Also survival aspect has biggest role. Being naive will not bring you any good. There is saying. In war and love everything is allowed. She is with you because of her's subconcious calculation. What serves her. So why not take advantage of that?

Well I done this things when I was younger. Still do them to some extent but mostly to prepare fertile ground. Also I do enjoy doing this things. Now things changed a lot then I was just chimp in Universe exploring. Man are not manipulative, woman are. Men are mostly very naive. Man connect and care about relationship not woman. Ofcourse this is generalization but it is mostly true.

So what you guys want spiritual awakening and everything which it implies or spiritual games?

I exist because I say so. Same goes for this dream. Sounds arrogant but it is True.

May I answer that. Then I literally turn into Love, everything and I dunno what to with it. Then I have suicidal toughts because I do not need life anymore etc. Laughing all the time, body can't hold it, spine wants to blow up. Epic visual hallucinations qhenever I close my eyes also this becones very wonky etc So many stuff.

Well I do not know. Picked something I really feel inspired atm. Modelling and fashion. Real adventure. Like entering complete unknown. I am sure I will make it. Gather balls and jump into ocean type of thing. From someone who had construction company and was mostly making roofs. Also once again thank you Jess.

Oh boyo I have great imagination. Spiritual champs I like it. So inspired. Also Conor my new superhero buddha guy. Will rather worship my dog c'mon lets go for a walk.

Thanks for clarification really wanted that answer. So I am not capable of mahasamadhi because I hold attachments. There must be a reason I can't stay as such forever. Dunno do I really want that anymore. Also need answer to this. Well need to continue dream. All love from humans is conditional and have to take it as such. Which I do accept have no problems with that. But can't delude myself or beleive in lies. Need that discernment. It's all Love I will give you that but well still have to live and have wisdom. Plug off supply line and see how "human love" fades away. I mean I am not stupid. Or maybe I am making a mistake. I mean why I wouldn't I love everything including Hitler all me ain't no problem but possible spiritual bypassing issues etc. Dunno maybe Jed will say cleverness but it really is a big question.