Ryan_047
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Everything posted by Ryan_047
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@oschi I can't do that.My affirmation is "I feel emotions"(well,of course translated into my native language).Leo did a video about affirmations.I am doing affirmations and meditating every day in order to escape this "feeling"(it is hard to call it a feeling).I had made a topic about my problem,it is called "Anhedonia".Take a look on my profile.I want to keep this topic as concrete as possible.Any other opinions?
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@NoOne I understand what you are saying.But let's forget about the need to accomplish something. Wouldn't be normal for a person to want things from life?Is it normal not to care about my life?Because this is how I feel.I repeat,I don't want to travel,I don't want to try new things or food etc.I mean these are things that the most people want.
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@vizual ... Yeah..there is a little bit of logic in what you are saying.Read again the 4th paragraph.I know that I should be doing something.I am worrying about it because I know that I will be depressed again if I don't do nothing.
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Hello! I'm a 16 year old teenager living in a 2nd world country. My question is simple: Should I start working from this age?What benefits/consequences would I get from such a decision? In my case I won't have to do physical work.I want to be a web designer.I am not sure if I should start working now or after I finish highschool and college.
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@Anna The educational system in my country is very bad.It is actually almost the worst system in Europe.Basicly the school throws tons and tons of useless information to its students.I know a case where a student didn't learned anything at school but he became rich because he focused on his passion. Thanks for the reply.
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@Kelley White First of all,I am sorry for not responding.I was really busy with the school,I needed to study a lot this week and after I finished my homework I didn't wanted to do absolutely anything. I did nothing special for my birthday to be honest.Some kin visited me. I just did this exercise.The most common themes were about helping my family and my country,feeling sad or stressed,feeling motivated to live,wanting to practice my hobbies and my passions feeling pleasure from them. My mom is alright now,that was just an episode.And my father is getting better.Things are moving in the right direction.For now,there shouldn't be a reason for me to feel stressed,not including the highschool.And I want to apologize too,due to my daily routine I wasn't able to read anymore,because I couldn't find any time for myself.
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@Ayla Sorry,can you please go in more depth?I am not sure what "encompass" means.Drawing a circle?(that's what Google Translate tells me).
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@DanoDMano As I said before,I can barely feel anything.This exercise would help me even so?For example,in the reply that I just wrote to Kelley I said that I forced myself to cry,even though I couldn't feel the sadness to much.So in this case,I can write that I am sad?
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@Kelley White Yes,you are 100% right.I don't want to be a bother for my parents.I mean,with all those problems I don't want to come through and become another problem.I also have problems with my nose(I cannot breathe properly).I struggled to tell my parents about this,and I told them.I will see a doctor next summer,kinda late right?..My mom is working very much and she doesn't have too much time(she is the only person that brings money into the house).And even if I wanted I couldn't appeal to my father.Now,please look from this perspective..We barely have time and money for a doctor,but for a psychologist that would help me cure my depression/anhedonia? I don't know,the joke just came..I didn't thought about it.To be honest I didn't had the intention to make that person feel better in the first place.The joke just came out of my mouth.If I think more about it...I guess I felt something,but as always,a tiny emotion(not very sure if I felt the emotion). You know,sometimes I can watch a funny YouTube video keeping a straight face very easy.The video is funny,but I can't see something that would make me laugh.Although,this is not always the case,sometimes I can laugh.Weird isn't it?Yesterday,I was thinking about how I am,and I felt like I wanted to cry,but I couldn't.I forced myself to,but I barely got some tears out of my eyes. Because of medication and money,sometimes my parents had fights.One day my mom almost used the knife to do something to herself(I guess you understand what I am trying to say),because she was so stressed and she couldn't take it anymore.That was another shocking moment for me.This is why I want to overcome this situation by myself and not count on others.I think that my emotions are not 100% dead,as I said,I can still feel them but in a very low percent.Even so,I have faith that I can overcome this situation. Today,I am feeling a little lit better(it was my birthday).Today was no stress,no problems.Even though,I was a little bit sad,because I couldn't feel any pleasure in eating my cake. Thank you again for trying to help me,I really hope I'm not disturbing you with such long replies and with hearing my problems.One of the last thing I want,is to disturb others..
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First of all,you asked me what I am reading.I am reading Harry Potter.I read the book for about 25 minutes,even though I should have read for 15 minutes.I needed more time to finish the chapter.Honestly,I felt an emotion of encouragement because you wanted to help me.But just a very very tiny emotion. Well,I made a person laugh.But I didn't felt nothing even though the joke I made was really funny.I couldn't laugh or feel good because I made somebody feel better. I am watching ModernSage's videos and read his advices(and yours as well) but I just feel nothing...I feel like I have no desires,no will or wish to push forward,just nothing.When I read that book yesterday I felt like I could keep on reading (that means that I like it),but I just felt no pleasure.Even the nagative emotions are not as they used to be.I got mad on somebody,but I just didn't felt the nervousness.I know that it sounds weird,and maybe it is hard to understand(I think that if I would have seen what I am writing right now,2 years ago I wouldn't understand either).I am forcing myself to meditate because I know that I should do something to get out of this state,but I have no motivation to do it. You remember when I told you that there are times when I get frustrated and become violent?Even then I can't feel the emotions as I should.I mean,I know how they should feel,but what I feel in those moments is a mix of neutrality and frustration(that goes for the positive emotions as well).I am doing research on anhedonia on the internet but I find no cure!Oh my God..I wish I would be depressed or sad,at least I would feel something!
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I will start reading now and tomorrow I will let you know how it was.Not it is almost 9 PM in my country.
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@Kelley White I spent a few time thinking about this and yes,this would help.I think you are right.I loved helping people as well...It felt good in the past.So,we start reading now for 15 minutes?
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Well I would pick reading.But,I am not really sure how this can help me,we both doing the same action for 15 minutes in the same day.
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Well,I liked coding,reading,playing video games,or study psyhchology and body leanguage.I am forcing myself to code every night but I can't focus more than 30 minutes and if I take a pause I become very lazy and don't want to continue anymore.Even so,sometimes I feel a little bit of pleasure..but very very little pleasure and it lasts for a few seconds.Today I spent some time outside,and I felt like nothing changed.
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Thank you for the long answer.I will try meditating as you suggested.
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Ok,this should be a step forward.I will do as you say.I have to go to bed now,it is late in my country and I am sleepy. Well,I listened to Leo's first meditating video and he said that I should stand with my back still and keep my eyes closed and start meditating.I think I would seem weird if somebody sees me.But,your tip sounds good. Yes,my mother is very stressed because of work,money and sometimes because of my father.She has a lot to deal with,I don't really want to be her next thing to worry about. My grandfather died because of medication.It destroyed him,and he had cancer too.Now my father takes a lot of medication every day.I am trying to avoid them as much as possible,but I take them if I strongly need.I will do the steps you told me,and reply to you back tomorrow.I really appreciate.Honestly,if would know you,I would hug you.
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Thanks for the answer,I also like long subjects. Well,I don't want to appeal to my parents.My father had a disease recently(I don't really want to describe it) and this affected me and my family much.We spent and we are still spending money on his health.This was a factor that has contributed to my depression.The other factor were the exams I needed to pass in the 8th grade.These 2 factors created a lot of stress for me.Also,I don't think that my parents would understand,in the best scenario they would buy me anti-depress medication,which is one of the last things I want.I think that meditating would help me,but if my parents would see me meditating they would thing I've gone crazy...And I don't have a lot of time by my own. Unfortunately,I can't appeal to anybody but to the internet.This is the only resource I have got right now.And yes,I can't really focus well and nothing seems fun to me.This "mood" is driving me nuts...I realize that I should do something and not waste my time but this anhedonia is stopping me.I can't feel motivated,happy,optimistic in order to be productive.I also lost my sense of humor(I realized this when I watched Leo's video,on how to develop a sense of humor.I was doing some of the stuff he was talking about in the past in a natural way,but now...).Honestly I feel so frustrated sometimes that literally I want to scream and I become violent(I am a really calm person and violence is a rare thing for me). But enough with complaining...I appreciate the help you are giving me.But,can you please tell me what should I do in a more specific way?Don't get me wrong,I am not expecting a super-professional answer,or a magic pill but something to pull me in the right direction...An exercise,a mindset,an affirmation that I should do on a day-basis,anything..I am starting to become desperate.Thank you again.
