Derek White

Idk if they are attracted to sociopaths, because sociopaths are the type of people who shoot up schools. They are psychopaths but without the charm. I think the word you were looking for is psychopath. Narcissists are attracted to shallow personality and physical traits like money, muscles, cars, beauty, etc. I made a post about this topic you might want to check it: She has made a video explaining the difference and similarities between psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists, so look for that. My favourite technique to avoid narcissism from her is the grey rock.

Yes! I want to see a video about this! Maybe he can combine red and purple into one.

Looks like stage blue people forcing Trump to pass these rules. Is there a women in hijab behind him? Also, I find the inaccurate map on his desk hilarious. Christians feeling like victims in USA. And they they say the left wingers are victims.

Yes!!!! hahah

How would you deal with it, practically? Any techniques or tips? (I don't have bully problems) I think I should clarify a few things. By bullying I mean when 'you' are forced to do something against 'your will'. I know people might spin this around spiritually because what is 'you' and 'I' and 'will' and 'bullying' is arbitrary. I am asking for your typical, classic bullying, and practical solutions for it. I know some of you are going to say 'oh just learn martial arts' but what if you are disabled or weak? what if the bullies are in a group? Also, what about emotional bulling? Think about these too when answering.

@bazera I'm Indian and I know your pain.

@Leo Gura That's hilarious.

@Keyhole I mean you’re the one who called me arrogant and interpreted my sigh in such a negative way. I never called you any names... was just trying to share my opinion.

@Keyhole sigh because you don’t understand what I wrote. So much judgement because of a sigh. Sigh.

I am not vouching for having no needs or expectations. Sigh You need to make an appealing offer. If you straight face say these, no one will come close to you. That’s vomiting and doesn’t work in real life. You can still have clear boundaries, it about how you communicate and enforce them. It the difference between going up to her and saying “I wanna fuck you” and making it clear you’re in the mood through other means. Edit: I wanna make a further point about authenticity. We are so far removed from authenticity we don’t even know what our real desires are. Women say they are not wearing to impress people but the reality is they have internalized so much inauthenticity. If they were honest most won’t wear high heels or lipstick, they would wear what's comfortable and act comfortably. They do this because they want others to recognize their worth, so they can get something in return. In other words manipulating other’s perception to get something from them. They deny it because their not conscious they are doing it. That is what men and women do. Relationships in a nutshell. Tadaa!

How do you have self-hate if you don’t have a sense of self? You have a sense of self. Seems like you are very confused. Take some time to clear your mind. Stop with the numerology BS and bust any other limiting beliefs you have including sexual ones.

@Meetjoeblack Honesty whatever you have said makes zero sense. It just makes navigating this thread harder.

Expecting your husband to not beat you up is selfishness but you need that in a relationship. Again, confusing love with Love.

Yes! Preach! @Etherial Cat You are mistaking Love and love. Relationships are not about Love. That’s why I’m against using sappy words like these. @Leo Gura Why do you use words like Devilry, Love, and God? This causes so much confusion in people. I feel if you used more technical words people would be less confused. You still have needs and expectations from the other person and you clearly get mad when they try to hide it from you. That is a form of self-bias and inauthenticity. If you were authentic you would accept the other person the way they are and not crib about it. Having needs and expectations is wanting reality to be otherwise. If you were truly authentic you would have none of these things. Authenticity goes deeper than what we hear are discussing. Yours and your partner’s thoughts, intentions, and needs keep changing, they are all in flux and you are not even aware of these things. We must look at what relationships really are, a series of give and takes.

I think the key mistake here is that you think going to a therapist will make you better communicator. Therapist won’t teach you how to communicate, it might make you a good person. Men and women need to learn how to talk to each other. It doesn’t happen automatic. They have different communication styles. For example: Imo, men insult each but don’t mean it, whereas women compliment each other but don’t mean it. If you are a man and talk to women like you talk to your high school buddies she will feel offended and you might even be in trouble. If women behave too nicely with the men, they might get wrong ideas about her intentions. As a general rule men should be nicer when talking to women and women should be more assertive and straightforward when talking to men. A therapist won’t give you these insights into communication. If using the right words to get the message across so that the other person is more likely to accept your message is manipulation then I’m okay with it.

@Leo Gura Yes, I think people (disproportionately women) are too wrapped up in ideals of what a relationship should look like and they don’t see the reality of the situation. @Keyhole I think pick up artistry and personal development collide into each other. If you are not vomiting whatever comes to your mind, then you are doing a form of pick up artistry whether you know it or not. If you don’t like the word PUA we can call it communication skills. Yes, you can do harm to others with PUA. But that’s true with any (communication) skill.

I don’t get what’s so wrong about learning how to communicate better, learning humour, tricks to communicate, improving your personality, and dressing better? If you think this is fake then women who wear hot dressed and makeup are fake too... Authenticity doesn’t mean you vomit everything that comes in your mind without any filters.

@Aaron p does it hurt? Burning sensations and cold sensations can feel similar at times. Do you have thyroid, horse voice, or any other throat related issue?

Throughout my life, whenever I try to do anything that involves suppressing myself or forcing myself to concentrate to do a certain task I feel discomfort right below and around the Adam’s apple in my throat. Does anybody here share the same feeling in the throat when they are doing something where they have to maintain a level of concentration? Or when suppressing emotions? Being consistent on everyday living? How do I avoid this and continue to be effective in everyday life? What is this feeling? It doesn’t feel ‘good’? Any information and/or experience would be appreciated.

@Bazooka Jesus I have the same problem. The lump gets so severe sometimes that it starts generating heat which goes up to my ears and I get headaches because of the discomfort. This usually starts happening when: - I’m working, concentrating, focusing, studying or doing anything that can be deemed “hard-work” I have to do hard work to sustain myself like most people. Also when I try to change the homeostasis (default position) of my life this happens. - Suppressing emotions. Like you said when you’re crying. Basically whenever I try to put effort into anything or do anything difficult or hard my throat starts hurting ?. It feels like suppressing (“suck it up” attitude) and bad stuff happens when people suppress. Somebody please provide some insights into this.

This is a good one too with may references so you can double check what they are saying. Masturbating once in 10 days is not excessive in any way, but if you still want to remove that habit, you are doing it in a self-hating way, hence the depression.

@Shiva99 The video links many studies in the description too. Don’t just monkey monks. Being a monk is itself not normal, not everyone is a monk or can be. Homosexuality and pedophilia are found in many of these monks. You don’t know what, why, or how they are doing it, use your own mind, do what makes sense to you.

Sounds to me you’re judging yourself too harshly. You should not feel this way psychologically, there’s nothing normal about thinking this way. Masturbation is okay and natural. If you feel pain physically after masturbation, you should see a doctor, because that’s not normal either and take that seriously. The amount of times you masturbate is also quite moderate, from my estimate you should feel zero pain after masturbation, although I’m not a doctor. It could also be because you judge yourself so harshly that you mentally create physical pain for yourself. That’s in fact a low amount of masturbation. It is actually really not normal for a male to not masturbate or have sex for an entire year. This can lead to sexual frustration and masturbation is great for relieving it. I say masturbating 6 times, once per day, in 60 days is a good amount for a healthy young male. I think you fundamentally misunderstand Love. Love means you accept yourself the way you are. You are coming from a place of disgust, denial, judgement, and hatred. That is not Love. Love is to accept yourself fully the way you are, which includes your masturbation desires. I don’t think you have an addiction problem. It sounds to me that you have limiting beliefs about what masturbation is. It is not wrong, evil or unhealthy. There is no shame in it. It will not lower your energy, it might actually have the opposite effect. Stop judging it. In fact do it more often if you feel the need. And actually try to enjoy it for once, that would be Love. You will NEVER fully resolve any addiction problems by neurotically suppressing, judging, and, hating your desires.If you concentrate and try to stop, it will only last a short time and the suppressed desire will find expression in other nasty ways. It will feel horrible trying to consciously suppress it all your life. It will only make it worse. You have to shine awareness on these things with an open mind, without judgement.

@MAYA EL Consciousness and infinity are beyond thoughts and concepts man.

How are you going to criticize men for wanting sex and objectifying women when you make statements like this? Ya, but women don’t have to do anything whereas, men are the ones working to make appealing proposals. It’s asymmetrical. So it’s equally hard for both genders. I think @Adam M answered it beautifully. @Serotoninluv I agree with you that it’s not enjoyable if you’re worried you can lose her in the middle of the act... I’m not trying to catch a case or be on a #meetoo scandal. I agree with what you say on one level (it’s a values mismatch) but at the same time I see it as impractical... I think Leo’s advice was for stage orange men who want to hook up with stage orange women (stage orange women who often think like the stage orange men). And I think the impact of the hook up on the woman is highly exaggerated by many on this thread. If your intentions are clear then it shouldn’t be the problem. Obviously it’s disgusting from a stage green perspective but I don’t think it’s objectively disgusting. Leo is not telling people to go around raping women or to pressurize them into having sex. When he said you can lose her in the act, I see it as him telling men to be respectful to the woman. Respect and consent are very important, no ones denying that. I think you need manipulation in any relationship. You need to manipulate in friendships and with parents to have deep conversations. Women need to manipulate to get a guy who will give her security. Men need to manipulate a lot to fulfill their sexual needs, while also making sure the woman is consenting and comfortable (important!).