Sandy6

Hi @bejapuskas I watched some of her video. Good informations there aside with other channels and content from some therapist on social media too. The situation here is so rare about ocd, maybe many people are hiding to share about it and only some people with little symptoms. I got only few news about people with ocd on my country. Even while i browse keyword 'pure o ocd' using my local language to reach information, it almost not shown unless english, although i live in huge society with large internet information on my language. When i talk to my close friends, they said that they never heard problem like this before. One of my friend ever experience a past symptoms i have, having intrusive thought for few days but not severe like mine. Basically i feel ashamed too and need courageous, but i must doing this to get support. I should choose between ashamed or not get help / important information. I truly understand can't solve this problem alone. I ever talk with close friends, family, teacher who i trust, and of course talk only on necessary thing or words and can't tell all. Next time i have plan to seek psychiatrist, i live on small village, where some professionals are more available on the city, which also challenge to go out in social distancing on current situation. Actually little difficult here, some available options are psychologist, psychiatrist, and some kind of traditional alternative. Even after i have financial problem. On this week i already try traditional alternative. But yeah i will keep going : ) I aware that i need help, and i must seek that. And choose the best treatment as i can reach. Last week, i try force myself to work and some activity with my current condition, but so hard to me because my ocd get worst last month after target obsession change. After this, i will start new thread here because i think necessary to ask, with more specific question, so your answer guys might useful (after i sort out of course) as "capital" on my next professional treatment. Regards

Hi, after 30 days focusing to solve this problem with help and support from my psychology student girl friend. I think "acceptance" is important think we should consider to dealing with OCD. It will make your Letting Go stronger : ) Hope it helps!

Hi@samueldu, Thank you and welcome for spend your first time to reply here. Appreciate your help! I ever practice EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) in the past for dealing with addiction, so this is not first time for me. This technique similar with exposure, but with tapping some meridian points on our body. May i can use acceptance words like this in intensity rating/level 10: "Even if doing this important activity while i have sexual thought, it's okay" Whether is create placebo effect or miraculous energy or whatever we don't know. It works and fix on you. I'll try it myself btw : ) And i feel sorry to you for struggle with pure o ocd in 20+ years, and you can overcame that. Might be you can share what type of pure o ocd you have also tell some of your experience. Including how often you still doing compulsion after some technique or effort applied until ocd reduced. Everyone can have different symptoms and subjective fear, the level of anxiety are different, but one method can possibly apply for different type. Though also many solutions over there. We need to know what works for us. Sometime i need decide, whether i should 1) don't care about my work/life contaminated status, 2) go to solve the root of obsession, 3) accepting that my life is very bad, 4) pretending that i am right or true because not in control despite what i see is horrible, 5) keep exposuring the fear while not knowing when will end, when there two times; when you in the session or on daily life practice, or 6) going meta with awareness, just see and do nothing, although often experiencing backlash, or 7) just calm the mind with activity and other routine that help to reduce anxiety, 8) any other technique i practice which still make some reaction/compulsion to prevent from negative stuff. And stop making everything complicated so just simply Now, i had a technique that can little help. So, i keep going and doing life/work with adversity/compulsions until mind forget and not interested. But trying another practice and researching or questioning like this can making better Cheers

Yes @mandyjw now i almost have no intrusive thought related with religious anymore. My thought transform, and now care about how horrible if my activity starting when at the same time have dreadful naked thought about certain people i don't want. Practicing self-love become difficult as "regular" human being when we also need to love the dark side of us. It is like we usually go right instead of left, because normally we want to survive. Intrusive thought force me to go left, but i want to go right. And love need to go up, instead what happen to me is go down because i can't live with the left way. Is very counter-intuitive. I in the process of studying it. But yeah, got telling what is true and experiencing what is true, can make huge difference for dealing with problem like this. Actually, it is hard to me when i spend last few years of my life as young for find meaning, and developing all strategy to become productive and grow, from low condition. Suddenly i have obstacles like this, life hit me, when i was ready. I feel this is holding my potential, though the same time make me stronger if i can surpass this. I agree with you. Sometime i thinking, if i stop trying to solve this case, maybe it will step by step disappear itself. About what you said, yes, is like understanding the deep ocean instead from surface. And very difficult for normal people to do so. Is like how is possible i say is good, when what i see is bad and feel worst. Amazing insight man. Your words of inner voice to force to destroys "my" life, and about wrong-right, love, and see good from the bad, is very precious for me. Thank you! From my experience, in OCD we can talk about: How to stop reacting Dealing with fear Morality Source of obsession (like i talk with Roy before) Contamination (something you think important to protect in life) Because my ocd pattern like this: Something important - Intrusive thought from what you fear the most - How wrong it is (Morality) - Fear (Anxiety) - Reacting / Compulsion I have learned some method about how to stop reacting / letting go but i still reacting. You know, if i commit to zero reactions but when i make one reaction, every technique like going to be weak again for this case. I also tried exposure with fear, but idk it's not make any reducement, maybe because i do it alone without therapist or enough skill. When i try to see good from bad / truth, practicing love, accepting, etc it just the bad things showing up from what i see and it's like cannot hold anymore. When trying to change obsession and understanding the root of it, it so difficult. And also hard to didn't care about something that mostly we love for. I will keep going no matter what : )

I feel sorry too for your suffering @Roy you said some facts that touch me and give the most common way for dealing with it and easy to understand about letting go. I know it's hard to practice it, when the thought become so worst. For me is feel contaminated also bad future. Thank you so much for writing that so long. I contemplating value advice like that. I want to go detail, so might some people can understand. And i think is good for learn too also sharing for some who already suffered with pure o ocd. Although must be prepared, my explanation may will sound so stupid at the same time while reading stuff bellow So, my thought are now change. Before it thought about family which now almost disappear, then now thought about a friend who bullied me while i was a kid. This is how it works. When i do the important work; registering, start something, save important digital file, create ideas which function for the rest of my life, make life decision, (all is also as triggers). Then the image of penis/boobs/ass rises on my mind. Or thought like "how if i doing this sexually with person i don't like (very horrible scary idea) before i starting this job" on cause and effect way. Because my activity have long term effect, then when the thought came, everything will feel so unpleasant and contaminated with. I am afraid of how if i feel that guilt on the future. Even like this; if i have those scary thought, while i read something and get important lesson from it. Later when i use the lesson, the ideas become feel guilty, then if those ideas generating another new ideas, it can feel bad again, so on and on, continuously contaminated on causality mode. I have experience, idk it might be experiencing by others. Well i think the obsession are attached or depend on the thing called idea. Seems like i can stop the obsession, if this concept stopped. For example, i had intrusive thought of two person about 1 month: aunt cousin Then it change, and for example the target of intrusive thought about 5 month became: sister other cousin other aunt Uniquely, intrusive thought and any fear about those persons with -any attribute or many models of obsession- "before change", drastically reduced. Including the rationalizing ideas for it, also have no more meanings. Okay next, i have another intrusive thought again only for 1 day: kid on the street i see few years ago even i don't know who is he Then right now change to this person and don't know why not change again friend who once bullied me at school (even i have other friend that bullied me more than him) It makes any anxiety from other people listed "before change", already released, ALL. Seemingly fear beaten by more fear. This is why i said, it just get worse. For another my ocd symptom like religious, harm, diseases, and any other form got beaten also because i have more fear obsession. Luckily also affecting my attitude in positive way. If before i so hard to deal with addiction or laziness, now became so easy, because it just small deal comparing to my current fear. Although i will choose become lazy rather than have ocd I don't know how to change it or what make me fear one person than another. Few days ago, after i have 3 obsession of people for 5 month. I just tried asked how if i fear this other person, how if i fear this other person, and that's why my obsession change. But when i try again with another person, it doesn't want to change again, damn. It happen subconsciously. I doing this because expecting if i can stop this pattern, may everything can be solved, but still not yet. For this case, fear not work for someone i really love, like with girlfriend or beautiful girl or someone i think this person is so kind. Sometimes, i thinking why i have this idea or concept or this kind of rationality. And why i care and why i cannot erased by myself and keep stuck on generating fear. Yes, is better to silent and not analyzing those kind of crazy stuff. And not get lost and absorbing on emotions as you said, yep difficult. In the past 20 days, i make 30 days inner work commitment to dealing with pure o ocd of sexual thought with learning and applying best technique. Until 10 days later, i will end this progress no matter what the result is. And back to normal work. Thank you for help me in this journey bro

@Inliytened1 While try to focus "outside'' of the mind, like to awareness, activity (physical), or live from heart, it's always back to mind while anxiety or intrusive thought attack. So, it is hard to me as a normal person with ego and having ocd. Maybe a normal healthy mind person can easy to ignore that relative fear or in the high state of awareness. From recent days, my obsession change, may get worst, from family and now other people (which i have bad experience on the past). I never thought it can change. But when target change, past target (people obsession) become release on my mind and like i don't have more ocd anymore about those people. After research other technique, find reason and make my method strong. I don't think there are cure or no reaction, when your thought so worst. As self with different level of fear. And feel contaminated on my most important purpose in life. Unless you forgot. May ocd can dissapear itself after we not care more about it as time goes on... without needed the perfect technique. What i do now is still practicing letting go also some spiritual practice like pray. I do what work for me and what i can do. Thank you so much btw for your response, i know this is from your experience. Maybe anybody have any other advice? I glad for read that.

Thank you. I watched it. Pure O OCD is like i know that feeling is lie, but my mind still attach too much into that feeling or that reason. The obsession are so disturbing. I have some cleaning type of ocd before, but already get rid off it, and other form too. But this pure is most difficult to bear. While i trying to let go, that attachment on it still. For example, i have some naked images about someone i respect while i work, then my mind telling me to doing compulsion, then when i try to let go. My mind making reason like: this work are contaminated, what happen in the future if you remember you starting this while have negative thought that unpleasant, this is too big because only one person naked image not three person and your work decision are so important for the rest of your life but contaminated, this is really i hate this. And some other stupid reason like that and anxiety. Sometime i confused, while i have obsession and that reason, but on unmotivated state, so my attitude to deal with it seems have no power. And wondering why not go naturally subconsciously, so i wouldn't care and living in peace then focus on my purpose. I need strong letting go so that reason and anxiety disappear, may i can get technique here! Even i thought, maybe if i married it will end, i get confidence and strong reason. Or enlightenment. But, it might only happen on long time.