Maha

@flume Thank you for your reply! what a lovely poem.

@flume What an interesting read! I feel like this was meant for me to read today. I was thinking just now bout "individuality", and whether this way of living is the best or not, and decided to enter actualized.org and search "individuality" and found your post! The interesting thing is that i know someone who feels similar to this "no-hard-feelings-after-a-breakup" kinda mood, and i really respect that and find it a super power, and they clearly do not get attached to people, means, if you are in you are in, and if you are not, what can we do?! ; however, it also made me think: why do we get attached to people? and how do we get attached? is it healthy? how can we love someone and not get attached to them? is that too healthy? how can we love someone and get attached to them? is it healthy? - so many questions i have and it lead me to the understanding of "individuality"! is individuality brutal? and by individuality here i mean when it becomes a norm that one should live alone, no family, no partner, "just sex" kind of life. Then why do we need marriage? or relationships? i think the answer is because these relationships create a soulful meaning of "being together" and the feel of someone who carries interest for you and with you along the way, and the idea of that building up day after day. I still think some kind of attachment should be there. I think that is love.

@flume oh thanks A LOT! You made me feel way better about this by seeing it in a different way. I definitely will come back to your comments guys multiple times in the coming days. So full of insight and cheer-up as well! thanks for the book! Added to my reading list! I intend to come back with comments about how i feel about this discussion and how i improve this part of my self-image i. The coming weeks! thanks alot again!

@Artsu thanks alot! This is now clear to me; that you explained this old “ego” and how it transforms. just an additional thought on the ego: i believe that there are so many “images” of one. Means, my sister has an image of me, my boss has another image, my friend has another image. There is no actual “me” thus it highly depends of how i see that me and keep on improving it.

@loub haha thanks for the last part! so kind of you i understand your point and i believe i have a problem in that part that i did know it exists. Means i would only believe I deserve good things only if i am in a “good” condition; which seems to be a bad pattern of thinking! But i have no tips on how to get it fixed. I think i saw on one of Leo’s videos (and some other coaches) i have to dig deep into the unconscious, meditate, and use affirmations.

@hyruga will do; thanks alot.

@Joyboy no, these were really my thoughts coming from inside. But they changed! And this is the strange thing. the guy was definitely a test.

@Shiva99 it is! Reaveals alot.

@loub thanks alot for your insight. This really seems to be the case here. I had this idea in my head but it was just floating. But i knee im just fixing the mirror me but not my true self which really depends on me. i just want now to reach to a middle point where i feel this true beauty from inside and outside as well. I dont want to think that these are contradicting each other but the opposite they complete each other, without exaggerating the outside “looks”. It is clear to me now that i need to balance these two sides of the situation instead of relying on one of them.

@Artsu yeah, that was my thought about it too. It was just a trigger maybe and revealed alot and how i need to overcome this way of thinking. i already re-evaluated my values and saw where this part fits. but what does my ego mean in this context?

Hi all, im super happy to share with you my fisrt post. I experienced in my recent days a huge lack of confidence that i never had. I actually have always knew myself as this very confident, energetic and happy person. Always positive but really not forcing it! It really comes naturally. I have stated my life vision and mission and what i want from my life is really clear to me. However, i had this picture of this perfect man that i know i want and fully deserve, couple of week later of really focus thinking on this person (was not intended to “attract” this person) he really actually popped up in my life! Put of no where; exactly like what i want. Here i started to question my beauty, my self image, and whether im worthy of such relationship with such a “perfect” man! My self-confidence started to collapse, I became unworthy of him inside my mind, and i started to “look” for ways to “adjust” my self and beauty! I started questioning whether im actually what i think about myself or is just me? But people see a different me? all these questions and feeling insecure abput myself. So i stopped crying over it and I actually set a plan for improving my “image” thus increasing my confidence again and creating even a better self-image. I also started to look up insights on this topic and i saw Leo’s video on Self-image. now i have a plan, and i started already with actions. It takes some time i know and this guy was like a wake up call or a mirror reflection of how i want to be. my question is: why do i feel still unworthy of him? Is it because i believe that what i want i have to be first? And, how did that happen that my whole self-image got cracked? Why do one get such self-image uncertainty? interesting to know your thoughts on this! thanks, Maha