MTR

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About MTR

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  1. agree but I would put the apostrophe in the 'only' instead of the destructive because there's no sugar coating or hiding from it. Destructive does not mean to actually destroy your true self, hurt yourself or others (mentally or physically) but to destroy paradigms of what you thought was 'you' and give space to what really is. You don't become 'enlightened', you (and everyone else) already are, we just forget when we leave childhood, get a name, get programmed with a language and societal rules and a role in society. Then we think we are that when really we've never been that at all. You don't leave these rules but you just understand what they are. You can't really learn to be enlightened but you "unlearn" the things that made you 'unenlightened' and one day suddenly (or gradually in a long time) you realise you never been that one who thinks had depression and so on. You will still live in this world with all its materialism but you will also realise there's no such thing as materialism.. everything is part of nature. You, your family, your pet, your car, your computer... all came out of this world.
  2. absolutely nothing personal, these are just thoughts My own limited thought systems agrees 100% with the thought you just wrote
  3. Whatever you want to interpret. If you choose to use our own language limits to interpret this as just merely "replacing the positive words with negatives", even tho it is pretty clear it's not what I meant, it is your own decision.
  4. the little ones you mean the children? they already get it when they become adults they forget
  5. what is the feeling that makes you think destructive is a strong word for some people? have you explored why is it that? there's something beyond good and bad, destructive and constructive. Only if you fully dive into what it is you can start to comprehend.
  6. After years on this path I came into the realisation that the code we use to communicate out our brain vibrational perceptions (languages) are so flawed that can actually drive us away from what we are. And this is why the very nature of mediation is to quiet down this absolute nonsense, because language is so limited it can't even start to contemplate or compute what the universe really is. Language, spoken or in form of thought are very primitive and long has reached its limits. It's futile trying to understand, it can only barely point you to the right direction, in the same way it can point you to the absolutely wrong direction. But even so, there's no right or wrong direction because direction is not a thing. And a thing is a no-thing. Thinking the word enlightenment is an unenlightened expression. My thoughts right now, that you are reading on this forum, are unenlightened expressions. I also realised the literature portrays a few things that can mislead you. Let's take a few examples of almost unanimous anecdotes we hear: That one must become or access the higher self to become enlightened. That enlightenment sits on a higher vibrational spectrum. That human beings are unconscious and must become conscious. That you need to build, learn and improve to reach that absolute state of nirvana and peace. That you must go through some sort of awakening. In my own experience, these can be just as very leading as it's very misleading. If I could attempt to even barely explain what is, I would have to put it this way: Notice when we meditate deeply and when we quiet our mind, we are diving into the nothing. The big empty. The deep. The lower and not the higher. The lower frequency not the higher frequency. The lower dimension not the higher dimension. Notice how these words contrast with the keywords above. We are addicted to the positive. Everything has to be higher, better, faster, happier. We are addicted to improvement, seeking, learning, becoming. But notice that the very nature of meditation is pretty much nothing like that. But it's not the opposite either, it's not the alter, it just is. So when you are it, the contrasting will be the destruction of all of that is. Notice that every word has a polarity. Is and is. Enlightenment is a destructive process. Enlightenment is un-enlightenment. It's accessing your lower negative self. It's the complete and unrestricted dive into your most gut wrenching emptiness and darkness of the core of your soul. It's facing and accepting your own death. It's the absolute destruction of everything you ever thought it was moral or immoral, correct and incorrect. It's not to wake up but to sleep into your inner deeper dreams. You can't learn to rid your ego but unlearn confusing your real self as an ego. It's to access the lower, deep vibration of the nothingness and realise you are there and realise it's part of you. To give up what you think is conscious and become unconscious for a moment. And having the courage to face it and integrate it. Because only by fully understanding the negative mother nature is when you can contrast with your positive addiction and realise there was never nothing at all. So stop avoiding the darkness and integrate it. I know this is not new and I'm not alone but I came into this realisation without even touching Jungian literature if you wonder. From what I know from him it seems he understood it. I am looking forward to dive into his books when I'm ready.
  7. my understanding is just the old boring that you just shouldn't use that often and that the experience you had can be sharpened without the need of the drugs, because you never have an end in sight... you could go on and on with psychedelics forever and ever, and never get what you want because there's no "what you want".
  8. "If you get the message, hang up the phone. For psychedelic drugs are simply instruments, like microscopes, telescopes, and telephones. The biologist does not sit with eye permanently glued to the microscope, he goes away and works on what he has seen." Alan Watts Just wanted to share because it does make sense.
  9. Your ego is just playing a trick on you. What is turning you down is your ego. You don't follow a purpose but an evolutionary path, it's not something you force yourself in but allow yourself in. Your desires will be screening what you really are and the path you would be automatically following instead. Life has no purpose, purpose has you. Quiet your mind and your life will be fulfilled. As Alan Watts once said: "Is this participation in the essential, glorious non-sense that is at the heart of the world, that isn't going anywhere, that is a dance, but it seems that only in moments of unusual insight and illumination that we get the point of this and find that this the true meaning of life is no meaning. That its purpose is no purpose and that its senses, nonsense. But still we want to use a dotted word. Significant. Significant nonsense? Yes nonsense it is not just chaos, that is not just blathering balderdash but that has in rhythm, fascinating complexity a kind of artistry. It is in this kind of meaninglessness that we get the profoundest meaning."
  10. Leo has amazing videos but he won't necessarily be right all the time and he knows that. He's just one of us expressing opinions. to observe is a thought and a thought is your ego. you can't transform yourself, or become enlightened yet it's absolutely necessary to be. so what you do? you can't be yet you have to... you simply surrender... see, to observe is already using the ego to observe... then you can observe the observer.. so on.. none of this is works... the only right thing to do is to quiet your mind - meditate.. and do it so consistently that your brain is changing over time and then becomes in that state that you call enlightened. Observation in my opinion is something you do all the time to prepare your ego, not tied to meditation. Once you meditate, all you do is to quiet your mind and decouple your thoughts from the sense of you. Meditation is just... not being. Yes you observe.. but not with your own persona, but with the real you, the animal who breathes, once you quieted your mind.
  11. wow, this is mind boggling actually @ground I have read and re-read but not sure if I get exactly what this means? I guess my affirmation that I am nothing is the egoic faith or belief that I'm nothing except I haven't experienced that yet? Well I could say I had a few experiences of awareness in the past (decade ago) that faded away with time.. such as observing your hand and arms and completely not understanding why it exists and thinking I'm during a dream where I was actually just sitting at my desk at work.. and some other experiences such as walking around the city with quiet mind and suddenly experience a state of bliss... but I didn't/don't want to fool myself into thinking I'm enlightened because I still have too many feelings I don't understand. Saw that thread, it does really make sense.
  12. thank you @zambize will do coincidentally I just stumbled on this great Alan Watts speech and been listening as I write.. it's incredibly on topic:
  13. Beautiful answer @zambize I started reading and, funny enough, my mind had a few "comebacks" but then by the end you got me: I might be repressing desire and I have forgotten it's ok to have desires even if it's deemed egoic. I've been following vedic meditation and one of the teachings is that when you let go of desire then charm is what gonna lead to to evolution and I felt like charm was throwing me paradoxes. Coming back to the "I am nothing", when I say that it's more like I have no idea what I am.. but if I'm nothing then... what is nothing... etc... classic ego trap. It's so hard to describe exactly what I fell with words tho.
  14. thanks. I guess my mind is coming up with paradoxes. could be that I am stressed and I don't know too. if the aim of enlightenment is becoming nothing and therefore everything then why we debate it as it was a formula or something that you become? Who is MTR? I tend to think I am nothing but saying "I am nothing" is paradoxal by itself. I wonder if I'm trapping myself or everyone is trapping themselves into thinking they can "achieve enlightenment" or "awakening". I'm not doubting anything and much less criticising anything but trying to solve these paradoxes in my mind. the million dollar question So it boils down to using this reality, this language and technology to try to describe something that cannot be described into this dimension on reality? I get that. But then my ego is gonna throw a "how do I know if your conceptualizations exist?" kind of thing. I guess what I struggle is that whatever is said here could be put to test on my paradoxal mind and I wonder if other people experience the same.