JustThinkingAloud

I know that your aim is to find all the right answers and think that if you twist it enough so no one can understand and therefore can’t dispute, you win. We can all make up things in our heads as to what “reality” is but as long that there’s no proof, it’s all just opinions. You can’t tell anyone what is correct or incorrect without an undisputable proof. If you want your life to be empty, that’s all up to you! But I wouldn’t recommend it, it’s a waste.

If this life is a dream why not to make it a happy dream rather than a nightmare. You have all the knowledge and skills to create happiness for yourself and others so why to choose suffering! It’s the same effort to be happy as to suffer but happiness has much bigger rewards. It’s all up to you! Giving up might not solve anything at all, you might even create more suffering for yourself and others. Here’s my take on happiness. It’s old and unpolished but it might help. http://justthinkingaloud7.blogspot.com/

I’ve noticed that are some other cancer survivors here and also threads about fear of having cancer. I went through cancer treatment 3 years ago and had fantastic results (I was told it was quite rare with Stage 2 cancer). How did you deal with it and what do you recommend?

I prove myself wrong. How do I know that every girl in the whole world will lose interest/not like me? Have I met them all to be sure about that?

Everyone and every field is different. Work as much as you can while your mind and your body is taken good care of otherwise you won’t get there. Also, thinking about things that relate to your goal is counted as “work” and that’s not that exhausting, you can do it wherever and whenever.

What I found is that our mind has a limit. If you get distracted, focus or think a lot, you forget other things. What do you think about? Do you move on or is it repetitive? I always like to sort my thoughts out every day. Some ways how not to forget things is to focus on it, do it right away, write it down, set a reminder. Don’t try to remember too many things, only the important ones.

Thank you, much appreciated My partner talked me into this one, it's very good, he loves it

Yes, I will suffer. I’ve tried to help you and I failed. Because of that my partner will suffer because I won’t be the usual happy myself. Because of that his customers will suffer because he’ll be distracted and won’t do a quality job. Because of that the customers' partners will suffers because the customers got upset. It’s a ripple effect, our emotions are contagious. Even if this life is a dream, you are still part of it and you’re dealing with the dream. You can see that there are great things that you can get. Ok, we need to do something to get what we want but the more you learn how to do it, the easier it gets. I was 35 when I finally started feeling that I know what’s going on. You’re an adventurous person as I read somewhere that you like camping. Maybe get a motorbike and learn how to ride, you’ll save money as well, it’s better for the planet and you’ll get some excitement. Anyway, that's what I did and it worked for me. I’d also recommend to change your job, it doesn’t seem to be the one for you at all.

I strongly believe that we get what we put in. When someone wins lottery and haven’t deserve it, they usually waste the money, spend it really quick and the benefit gets passed on others. Sometimes, it can take a while, sometimes, the order is other way around (something is taken from us and then we get compensated). But I still think that eventually it gets all balanced and distributed well.

Isn’t it all about growing and developing ourselves to become who we want to be? Yes, it’s like a child but every child eventually grows up and becomes an adult. I don’t believe that we have to be perfect, we all have our faults but if it’s something that’s stopping you from getting what you want, you’re much better off fixing it than supporting it. It’s all up to you.

I fully agree. IQ is a skill. And just like any other skill it can be learned (look up logic, common sense, causality etc). It’s got its uses and can be very useful in some situations while not much of a use or even a hindrance in other situations. Discussing the general usefulness will not lead anywhere and it’s like discussing whether knowing how to paint is necessary to survive and thrive. For some it is, for some it isn’t.

We do try harder when we don’t have a safety net but the quality is not there (at least in my case). I had to support myself and had to do things that paid more money so I can pay my bills. In your case, you’ve got an opportunity to invest in yourself well and learn things well without being pushed to do things to survive. Once you’re ready and your investment pays out, you’ll leave and learn whatever is necessary to be independent.

Try to find environment where you do fit in eg to be around people that are like you. You’ll realise that you’re not the only one and will learn from others in your situation how to deal with. Also, it’s much easier to find solutions to problems when you collaborate with people in a similar situation. Once you get stronger and more confident, you might even find ways how to go around it and get what you want.

Once you really want it and get fed up with being rejected, you’ll learn to lower your expectations. Also, it’s much easier to get attracted to someone when you love who they are. Love also makes sex ten times better as you adding more emotions and sensations. So attraction is not just about looks, it’s also about connection. It’s very hard to know who someone really is or how attractive they are just from a photo.

Start small and grow it big or as big as you want. Even just putting a smile on someone’s face is a positive change in this world. Imagine if everyone did that, how many smiles we would create! Give yourself a break, recharge and review what you want, learn how to get it and then go and get it!

The higher the risk, the higher the reward. One way to reduce risk is to diversify. That means to put your money into a mixture of investments. I’d contact a financial advisor to help you with that or you can just put your money into a managed fund with a respectable investment company and that could give you enough security. Talk to a respectable professional to get a proper advice.

Maybe imagine how big boobs age, it might cure you!

Decide who you want to be and practice doing it. It’s hard work though, it’s much easier to find the good bits about yourself. Also, there are reasons why you are the way you are, once you try to change it, good things about you might change too. Once you accept yourself, you’ll get more confidence and you’ll open up more. I’d do this before trying to find a girlfriend, it might get quite confusing for her to know who you are.

Maybe you need to make yourself happy again. Do what you enjoy doing to give yourself a boost. You created awesome life before so the skill to create it again is there.

Maybe try to practice the way you want to be. Decide and visualise how you would deal with situations before it happens, it’s much easier that way. Once it does happen then you got a plan to fall back on. It gets a bit too emotional to think on your feet it the middle of it all. You’ll start doing it without thinking about it once you’ve practised enough. I don’t think there’s such a thing as “overthinking”, the only time that it can become a problem is if you’re not getting anywhere and your thoughts keep going in circles. Analyse it, come to a conclusion, test it, correct it if necessary and keep repeating it till you start doing it without even knowing.

I talk myself out it. You’ve created a habit of thinking like that, break the habit, reasons yourself out it. Also, the anxiety comes from something that happened in the past or you scared that something will happen in the future. Explore it, find exactly what thoughts are triggering it the most to understand where it comes from so you can deal with it.

I love this. You don’t have to go big on your passion, start with small steps first and see where it leads.

What about trying it first. Take couple of months off and do it the way you want to do it. You won’t need that much money and it will give you more confidence that it’s what you really want.

I make notes to help me summarise the topic to make more generalised views. It also helps to put it in your own words, make your own connections. I was told that involving all senses helps a lot when trying to memorise (sorry, I don’t remember the source). So writing the notes, reading out loud, doing exercises, visualising how you would apply the new information etc. Repetition works too but it’s much more effective when you emotionally connect to it, eg you enjoy what you’re learning. I wouldn’t memorise too many details, it can clutter the mind.

I’m full Czech, I was born there. I left when I was 18 to escape my family, now I live in Australia. I couldn't go any further away from them! Interpol still found me though. Maybe I should've tried Antarctica but that could be a bit lonely.