JustThinkingAloud

I’m not a guy so excuse me interfering. I think that when a guy is not “satisfied” all he thinks about is sex. I can’t have a decent conversation, everything he does is to persuade me to have sex with him. Maybe finding the right balance might be the answer. Anyways, just a different perspective

Nobody’s perfect. Personally, I hate texting but I’m old so I’m used to different things. I think it came from having people around and half of the time they spend on their mobile texting to someone. Also, it gives you many more things to talk about when you actually are with her, to me conversation gets much more personal, texting is a bit cold to me.

I went through Stage 2 breast cancer, Stage 2 because it was Grade 3, a very fast growing. The tumour doubled in size in two weeks! When I found out I wanted chemo right away, I didn’t want to wait as it was too scary. I went through 6 months of chemo with additional hormone suppressants in the same time as part of a clinical trial. I had the surgery after chemo and the cancer was completely gone. I trusted the doctors because the treatment made sense to me. They removed what the cancer was feeding on (hormones) and killed fast growing cells so it doesn’t spread and my body renews. I didn’t take any medication that I didn’t have to take. Too many stories of people trying to take a pill for every side effect and then create more side effects so they take another pill. Deal with the side effects yourself, there’s a lot of information on the net to help you with your treatment. I was part of a Facebook group and I don’t know what I would’ve done without them, there’s many things that you have to deal with that doctors can’t help you with. I functioned ok during the chemo, just wobbly and weak. I still did the usual things, some people even work during chemo. It’s not as bad as it used to be.

It can be very stressful but the result is worth it. If it was easy everyone would do it. Keep working and focusing on it to find better ways of doing it. We have backup plans to help with the stress. The thing that helps us the most is keeping enough money to live on for a year without any income. Also knowing that we can always get a job when things get tough helps. It makes it much calmer and easier to focus on growing the business rather than worrying about survival.

I’ve finally done some gardening that I wanted to do. I keep looking out of the window and enjoying the much improved look. I propagated all the new plants couple of weeks ago so it didn’t even cost much.

Anything that helps is good. Every little progress counts so if you’re getting better, it’s the thing you should be doing. Awareness is a great start, it’s much easier to fix something when you exactly know what the problem is. Professionals try their best to help but they’re not very good yet. They still need to get much better as mental health problems are on the rise. It’s quite interesting and frustrating that we all have a brain and use it every day while most of us don’t know how to use it properly. There’s a lot of research on how to cure mental problems but not on how to keep our mind healthy. That’s why I like Maslow’s research as he was one of the few psychologists that actually observed healthy people.

Maybe try it first, see whether it’s really what you want. Or at least visualise it, can you see yourself enjoying the life that your choice could lead to? Also, the fear is quite natural, it’s always scary to do something that we haven’t done before. Learn first, have back up plans, do small steps and see how it goes.

I’m not into marketing and it’s probably good for you to contact someone who can give a professional advice. Maybe try to do something different, analyse the customers, what do they really want, what's the current trend, is there a need for something that nobody does yet.

Maybe combine all the skills, they are all related to each other and can be used together. Film making, writing and music can be used to create one master piece. What about writing a song and make a video featuring it and where you perform on stage. Just an idea

I know that your aim is to find all the right answers and think that if you twist it enough so no one can understand and therefore can’t dispute, you win. We can all make up things in our heads as to what “reality” is but as long that there’s no proof, it’s all just opinions. You can’t tell anyone what is correct or incorrect without an undisputable proof. If you want your life to be empty, that’s all up to you! But I wouldn’t recommend it, it’s a waste.

If this life is a dream why not to make it a happy dream rather than a nightmare. You have all the knowledge and skills to create happiness for yourself and others so why to choose suffering! It’s the same effort to be happy as to suffer but happiness has much bigger rewards. It’s all up to you! Giving up might not solve anything at all, you might even create more suffering for yourself and others. Here’s my take on happiness. It’s old and unpolished but it might help. http://justthinkingaloud7.blogspot.com/

I’ve noticed that are some other cancer survivors here and also threads about fear of having cancer. I went through cancer treatment 3 years ago and had fantastic results (I was told it was quite rare with Stage 2 cancer). How did you deal with it and what do you recommend?

I prove myself wrong. How do I know that every girl in the whole world will lose interest/not like me? Have I met them all to be sure about that?

Everyone and every field is different. Work as much as you can while your mind and your body is taken good care of otherwise you won’t get there. Also, thinking about things that relate to your goal is counted as “work” and that’s not that exhausting, you can do it wherever and whenever.

What I found is that our mind has a limit. If you get distracted, focus or think a lot, you forget other things. What do you think about? Do you move on or is it repetitive? I always like to sort my thoughts out every day. Some ways how not to forget things is to focus on it, do it right away, write it down, set a reminder. Don’t try to remember too many things, only the important ones.

Thank you, much appreciated My partner talked me into this one, it's very good, he loves it

Yes, I will suffer. I’ve tried to help you and I failed. Because of that my partner will suffer because I won’t be the usual happy myself. Because of that his customers will suffer because he’ll be distracted and won’t do a quality job. Because of that the customers' partners will suffers because the customers got upset. It’s a ripple effect, our emotions are contagious. Even if this life is a dream, you are still part of it and you’re dealing with the dream. You can see that there are great things that you can get. Ok, we need to do something to get what we want but the more you learn how to do it, the easier it gets. I was 35 when I finally started feeling that I know what’s going on. You’re an adventurous person as I read somewhere that you like camping. Maybe get a motorbike and learn how to ride, you’ll save money as well, it’s better for the planet and you’ll get some excitement. Anyway, that's what I did and it worked for me. I’d also recommend to change your job, it doesn’t seem to be the one for you at all.

I strongly believe that we get what we put in. When someone wins lottery and haven’t deserve it, they usually waste the money, spend it really quick and the benefit gets passed on others. Sometimes, it can take a while, sometimes, the order is other way around (something is taken from us and then we get compensated). But I still think that eventually it gets all balanced and distributed well.

Isn’t it all about growing and developing ourselves to become who we want to be? Yes, it’s like a child but every child eventually grows up and becomes an adult. I don’t believe that we have to be perfect, we all have our faults but if it’s something that’s stopping you from getting what you want, you’re much better off fixing it than supporting it. It’s all up to you.

I fully agree. IQ is a skill. And just like any other skill it can be learned (look up logic, common sense, causality etc). It’s got its uses and can be very useful in some situations while not much of a use or even a hindrance in other situations. Discussing the general usefulness will not lead anywhere and it’s like discussing whether knowing how to paint is necessary to survive and thrive. For some it is, for some it isn’t.

We do try harder when we don’t have a safety net but the quality is not there (at least in my case). I had to support myself and had to do things that paid more money so I can pay my bills. In your case, you’ve got an opportunity to invest in yourself well and learn things well without being pushed to do things to survive. Once you’re ready and your investment pays out, you’ll leave and learn whatever is necessary to be independent.

Try to find environment where you do fit in eg to be around people that are like you. You’ll realise that you’re not the only one and will learn from others in your situation how to deal with. Also, it’s much easier to find solutions to problems when you collaborate with people in a similar situation. Once you get stronger and more confident, you might even find ways how to go around it and get what you want.

Once you really want it and get fed up with being rejected, you’ll learn to lower your expectations. Also, it’s much easier to get attracted to someone when you love who they are. Love also makes sex ten times better as you adding more emotions and sensations. So attraction is not just about looks, it’s also about connection. It’s very hard to know who someone really is or how attractive they are just from a photo.

Start small and grow it big or as big as you want. Even just putting a smile on someone’s face is a positive change in this world. Imagine if everyone did that, how many smiles we would create! Give yourself a break, recharge and review what you want, learn how to get it and then go and get it!

The higher the risk, the higher the reward. One way to reduce risk is to diversify. That means to put your money into a mixture of investments. I’d contact a financial advisor to help you with that or you can just put your money into a managed fund with a respectable investment company and that could give you enough security. Talk to a respectable professional to get a proper advice.