Arman

Must... resist... sarcastic... response!

It makes me happy that you mentioned the potential you feel for yourself in your first post. For someone experiencing a lot of darkness, you seem have a lot of brightness to give, as is evident by your response to shin. I know it can be painful to think that there is no cure and no way out. Strangely, sometimes it is less painful to choose to believe that there no cure, rather than to believe that happiness and well-being are possible. Why is this? Is it because if we really opened ourselves to the potential of happiness that we're afraid that we'd discover that it's not true and that we are actually powerless? It is an unfortunate and self fulfilling paradox that we choose the illusion/belief of powerlessness because it feels safer than really looking to see if we have power at all. Maybe there will be profound and radical catalyst for your transformation, or maybe there will be a more gentle opening into well-being that starts to happen in your life over time. Either way I believe it can happen if you are even just 1% open to the possibility. It's not always about herculean efforts or radical answers. If on some days you can sit and open it up to 2%, that's even more powerful. Life will fan that ember for you.

The most practical advice I can give you is to cut out processed foods for the days up until tripping and to drink lots of water. I've found that generally any time I try to plan out my trip or I have certain questions I want to figure out, typically the experience ends up having little or nothing to do with that. You can set your intention as 'growth' and that will be good I think.

Hmm... I don't know... sounds wacky

Do you want to respect him or do you really just want him to like you?

oh my sweet summer child

Asking if something is real is opening up a can of worms on this forum lol. A better question is: is it a useful model for growth; and I would say the answer to that is a very definite maybe.

I've heard the tape you're referring too. He does indeed say that From memory, he doesn't mean it as if to say that that God is regretful or that humanity was a mistake. It is not a 'sorryness' in that sense More a sympathy, a yearning, an excitement for our seperation and returning to union. He is sorry that we have become seamingly seperate from him, but there is no error, and no blame. It is the same way that you are very, very sorry to see your child start his first day of school. He is crying, you are crying, but it's all perfect, all is well. You are sorry to see him go, but he will be home soon, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton you'd like it

so is fire: but it's probably best not to walk right into it

Hmm.. weird. Might be a regional thing~

This is a good post. I was using the Windows 10 version of Onenote (OneNote version 17) which is designed for touch interfaced, but OneNote 2016 is definitely superior in layout, options and ability to save on cloud and local. Only thing is I'm pretty sure OneNote 2016 is free. It's a part of the Office suite but you don't need to buy it. I just downloaded it and installed it from the site.

No, you don't have to. You have the freedom to make your own decisions. Just be aware that these decisions will impact you and likely your relationship with your mother. Sometimes in life we have to disappoint others in order to meet our own needs. In any case, try being more honest and open with her about how you feel.

probably looking for an escape from suffering more than for enlightenment itself when depression has been overcome and well-being is stabilized I think a more authentic search begins

Hmm... that's exactly the kind of thing artificial intelligence would say.

should have gone for the $60 version, you'd probably have reached full enlightenment by now

Sure, it's an old article, but I guess forever is forver. http://news.softpedia.com/news/Microsoft-Promises-to-Keep-OneNote-Free-Forever-433197.shtml

Try it out and see if you like it. As for transfering: https://www.onenote.com/import-evernote-to-onenote “Forever! We intend to have a free version on all platforms forever. That's the plan. We will have premium features for users who buy an Office 365 subscription or one of the Office suites. For example if you want to use OneNote for business against SharePoint or Office 365, that will be a paid feature, and some other features like version history. But the vast bulk of features will be free."

Fairly sure. Upon disconnecting internet, it's still accessible (once reconnected it updates the cloud with your changes). I disconnected my ethernet, restarted my computer (so it started without internet connection) and could still access my journals after opening up OneNote just to be sure. Exporting to PDF you can do in 2010 and 2016 I think but not the new version.The main disadvantage of the newer version is you can't export your journals manually to local discs - but personally I can't see myself ever finding a need to do that. If I wanted to move the journal to another computer I'd just login on the other computer and it would automatically sync via the cloud, and I don't know why I'd want to backup to a USB because I feel like a USB becoming faulty, broken or lost is more likely than the cloud service being wiped. The only situation I can imagine is if you have absolutely no internet, are using the software in offline mode on one computer and need to move it another computer which also doesn't have internet, and won't have internet in the foreseeable future to ever sync - but that seems a little too niche for me to want to use older systems.

I've been using then newest version of OneNote for a year or two and loving it. It does save and work locally offline but syncs online via cloud constantly too. It's also nice to be able to have access to your notebook via mobile on the go or to write down something quickly and have it sync to the journal. I also think it looks better and has slightly nicer design flow. Unless you like the kind of retro look of the 2010 version.

What does your inner-talk look and feel like?

Hey it happens to me sometimes too man. If someone pee's right next to me I can't go. For the record I don't have general social anxiety and I would say I'm actually more comfortable in most social circumstances than most, but I still have this 'problem'. No need to make it part of your identity. It used to bother me but it doesn't seem like a big deal to me anymore. As a result of that I am more relaxed and it becomes less of an issue. Just looking at the fear and accepting it will go a long way and slowly dissolve it. Here, for the record, I think a lot more people than you think experience it. This may help you create some inner ease around the subject. and just look at the related comments and the thumbs up:

Mindfulness Bell app which routinely chimes to draw your awareness into the moment

I'd be a liar if I said I was good at avoiding it. The narrative seems to be the natural and spontaneous product of the negative state itself because the thoughts are just resonating at that frequency. How to avoid negative states is another thing altogether. I've found that recognizing what's happening (that caught in illusory narrative) is what slowly starts to release the power from it. Frankly, trying to avoid it seems to make it worse so my advice would be not to try to avoid it but recognize it as a natural thing to enter contracted states as a result of expanding and growing, and to surrender to that experience as best you can when it arises.