Ayla

There is no such thing as false self. Everything is an expression of consciousness, even Ego. There exists no separation from Source. Even the most evil things human mind has ever conceived, are part of Source's expression

Please refer to topic's guidelines before posting further: I also believe that Leo already made his point on this topic already.

Not really, no. I'm at a stage where that is already my "default" and I don't need too much training, only a certain vigilance, as ego has its ways of sliding through the back door... Nobody can keep themselves in a state of Grace. Not Budha, not Jesus... nobody at all! You first have to EXPERIENCE it and to feel it by and for yourself. Then, it will only be a matter of you coming back to it over and over again - through self-inquiry - until you're done and there's no need to work for it, because you ARE it. What brought me here was a LOT of pain, followed by a real hunger for TRUTH. Many things helped me on this path, but what cracked me open completely was Mooji (search on youtube) Good luck

Hummmm

Acceptance. Surrender. Forgiveness. Peace.

Lookup Matthew Hussey on youtube. His videos are targeted to girls, but you'll find some content there that might help.

First things first: If you are in a position to do so, physically detach from them! As I said before, fully allow yourself to feel this anger but without the labeling, the mental concepts attached to what it is you are feeling. The only things valid are physical sensations (cold, hot, itchiness, cramps, etc). The rest is just... mental stuff. Allow yourself in a safe environment, in a calm setting, to feel it all. Again, no judgement and no naming of what it is you re feeling. Might help you to look at Noah Elkrief on youtube.

Please refer to guidelines for this Topic:

Yes Not only possible but Wonderful !

Yes. We always project a possible outcome to other people's problems that would likely affect (is affecting) us at some level. Sit with this. Another facet of this, is there's some deep inner imprinting her condition is mirroring to you. Look into how this makes you feel and what it reminds you of (usually childhood trauma). At one point in your life, you felt (possibly regarding a very different situation) the exact same way that you feel about this one. Sit quietly and think about your wife's situation. Let yourself FEEL it in your body, with NO mental labels. To help you, I will say that these need to arise just as physical sensations (cold, hot, itchy, cramp, stiffness, etc) as opposed to ...nervous, anxious, agitated etc. Then, let yourself wonder without putting any emphasis on the mind, when did you feel the exact same feelings in the past? AGAIN, I am talking about physical manifestations in your body, not concepts we usually attribute to those. I'm here

Hello Santiago, I can intimately relate to your post, as my own mother is like this. Her condition is called: Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Please look it up on youtube and make your decision from there. The only way people cope with such a parent is NO CONTACT. You may (or may not) chose to continue (begin) supporting her financially with whatever feels right, but withdrawing from her would leave you free. If fire burnt you once, would you go back into it? You must also learn to forgive her, while keeping your distance for self-preservation reasons. If there's no forgiveness, these issues will keep crawling back into your experience through other people. Know that this is a deeply personal issue, thus so the solution must be.

Trust yourself! But first, find out who that Self is Have you looked into all facets of this insight? Are you sure there's no deep fear of intimacy lurking around, buried inside of you? Bottom line is, if you do not feel like it, that is valid. Just pay attention that you are not running from something (yourself)

Did you know there is a special main topic about books on this forum? If a book greatly influenced you, post it here too: http://www.actualized.org/forum/forum/25-self-help-product-book-reviews/ thanks

@joep229 Your message is very touching and I thank you for sharing it with us. What if I told you that we never worry about the others, but only about one aspect of ourselves that is reflected back to us by others? Would this take a bit of the pressure off? Reading your analysis of your situation, I get the feeling that you might feel a bit lost, after a lifetime of what you perceive as a multitude of errors. We never make errors. We always do what feels better in that present moment. Back then, you did not have access to your current way of seeing things. So going back to it has no value. Start where you are. Accept that you are here. Both of you. Take baby steps towards wanted outcome. One at a time, just like a toddler. Lastly, my own journey taught me something that I still hold as invaluable: first, do what you can do by yourself before taking it to the next level ( taking pills, concentrating on others, doing external stuff, etc)

It is ONE way yes. Most importantly, ask who is the one having those thoughts? Where do they arise from and where do they go? Acknowledge that the Mind is just an illusion and dismiss it as such.

What I have found out in my own journey, is that judging people says something about ME, not about them. These people are just mirrors that show you where you need to work on yourself. It is Universe's way to bring up and out your inner imprinting and trauma so that you deal with it. So, sit with it and ask: where AM I judging (myself/others)? Where AM I not being friendly (with myself and others)? Keep reverting what you perceive back to you. Byron Katie's work might help you (youtube)

This is just a stage. Have you ever taken vitamins or antibiotics? First few days, the condition feels worse, because you are disturbing an "equilibrium" that you were living into - even though that equilibrium did not serve you. Best analogy I could make is that of a tree that was very bent and planted back so it is straight. It will take a little while for it to be sane and growing like it should

Do you think she would be open to talk about this with you? If there is real love there, you need complete openness between you, loving the less common/attractive attributes about each other. I see this as a time bomb. Find a way to understand what her feelings are. A woman who loves her man can have multiple facets to her, in order to keep her man in love and interested. How about this? Maybe you could find in HER all that you desire. As a final point, I do not agree with the idea that we are meant to have just one partner throughout our life. Quite the pressure and the perfect recipe for not being able to evolve.

There are real solutions out there to stop being passive aggressive but getting aggressive is not one of them, especially because it will harm you and others in the same way as passive-aggressiveness does. Here are some real solutions: Find out your biggest triggers. Something triggers you P/A response - usually it is a deep inner trauma Sport/exercise Empathy - put yourself in the "trigers's shoes" and inquire what is it that they could mean other than hurting you. Is it possible at all that they mean something else? Even 0.01%? Move forward from that 0.01% Meditation/self inquiry

She's not mirroring your behavior but your imprinting, your hidden wounds/trauma that needs to surface. Best analogy I can make, is that your eyes can see everything but they cannot see themselves. So God/Source?Universe is providing you with perfect mirrors so that you can find out what it there that is keeping you from seeing The Truth of who you really are Another facet of it that I can see, is that through your inner work, you managed to heal/unblock some of this wounding, hence the dissonance of your new vibration with hers that results in her being less and less of a valid mirror.

I strongly (and I very rarely use this word) advise you to search for Mooji's videos on youtube. Thousands of people are where you are now. Me included

I know that everything I perceive is not me (is an illusion). The best example I can give you is that the best knife in the world - can cut everything - but it cannot cut itself. So in time, after several awakenings (and after suffering a lot of pain and loss), it became natural to me to perceive my true self instead of a person as the base, the soil that gives birth to anything else that I can see. I can compare this state with having a child - even if he/she is dumb or ugly (LOL).. it is still yours and you could never hate or judge or get offended by it..

That's OK, I'm at a point in my journey where I don't get offended any longer because the I that I know myself to be.. is forever in peace I just did not understood what @CirclesofMastery wanted to ask So yeah Mooji Is a Real Person !

hahahahaa that's so funny !!!

I'm sorry?