• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by nowimhere

  1. @ethanb121 - 5 mgs is nothing. Also, you can't have direct flame on it. It's best to sandwhich with Mullien leaves. I'd start at 10mgs, then 12mgs then 14mgs, ect til breakthrough.
  2. @Guru Fat Bastard - What a fantastic resource ! Thank you so much !
  3. I started simply, by asking who am I. I started at my toes, then my feet, then my shins, all the way up to my lower back, belly button, stomach, ribs then fingers, hands, forarms, bicepts, pecs, heart, throat, chin, tounge, nose, ears, eyes and head. At some point I also started asking "what is this" and "experience" seemed to come back as the answer. Then near the end, I made the shift and decided to just "sit in the awareness" and I felt a profound energetic peace. It was a great meditation. Was influenced by this video : The Question here is, did I do "self inquiry" correctly? Has anyone else done it this way (start with the question who am I throughout your whole body, peice by peice, then just ended with "resting in your awareness?) Any insights on this would be great! Thanks all, and much love
  4. @Inliytened1 - Beautiful ! Glad to know I am on the right track
  5. @How to be wise - Ramana Maharshi is so profound. I already know that I don't exist, but I am trying to push past the cocept of it and realize it fully. Once I got to my tounge and nose... And asked "Who am I? Am I my tounge? Am I my nose?" I just started to laugh cause obviously you aren't your tounge or nose.
  6. @Peo - besides the "mind" asking the question "who am I" I'd say yes. For this session, anyways.
  7. You read the rules bro? Non duality wars not allowed here. The proof is you. But it is past your ego. You can't learn the truth with your ego.
  8. Facinating stuff ::
  9. @Hsinav what kind of breathing techniques would you suggest?
  10. @khalifa was able to sleep perfectly fine last night. No problems so far
  11. @Leo Gura - Okay good to know. I was seriously shocked at the difference between 26 and 27. So I think I'll just up it one mg at a time and go from there. Pretty sure won't need to go past say 31mgs freebase for breakthrough. It's just crazy cause smoking 14mgs freebase gets me to a breakthough every time. But at that point "I" have zero control over keeping my eyes open (although I've tried) because "I" don't exist anymore. The room doesn't exist anymore. It's a 100% merging with the infinite one all prevailing source. Nothing exists, nothing matters and it's all just one thing.
  12. @Leo Gura - I'll quote a private message convo with @Ellenier here (who is a very smart girl, and figured out the Freebase vinegar trick) "I came up with the *1.167 by comparing the masses of freebase 5-MeO and 5-MeO*HCl. M(freebase) = 218,30 g/mol M(5-MeO*HCl) = 254.75 g/mol M(5-MeO*HCl) / M(5-MeO*HCl) = 254.75 / 218.30 ≈ 1.167 " According to her caculations Freebase is 1.167 stronger than HCL. Therefor... The 17mg freebase was equal to about 20mgs HCL the 22mg freebase was equal to about 25mgs HCL the 26mg freebase was equal to about 30mgs HCL & the 27mg Freebase was equal to about 31.5 mgs HCL According to those calculations 30mgs Freebase (times 1.167) would be equal to about 35mgs HCL. You have said in the past that anything past 30mgs (HCL) would be dangerous. You've also said that you noticed that the freebase was more strong for plugging (which validates Elleneirs math above) So I am wondering if this is a safe play or not?
  13. Soooo I plugged again today. This time up from 26mgs freebase to 27mgs freebase. Previously have done 17mgs and 22mgs. Both, which certainly not bring a breakthrough. Now with the 26, 22, and 17 there was ZERO fear on the comeup. With the 26, I thought I hit breakthrough, but still unsure. So I thought the 27 would be about the same as the 26 and boy oh boy was I wrong. This trip came FAST and STRONG. Faster than any of the other times. (Could feel it hitting about 3 mins in) About 5 mins in... The fear set in. I thought that I got the wrong dose somehow (even tho I have a labratory grade scale) and I thought I was legit going to die. This went on for a few minutes. Pretty sure I let it all go. But then... Nothing. No breakthrough. Just a lot of monkey mind chatter it seemed. Considering I got the fear of death... I'll take that as a GOOD thing. But I'll also take that as a confirmation that the 26mgs that I did didn't deliver a breakthrough. Now, should I keep going with 27mgs, or try 28, 29 and 30? Pretty sure one of those amounts will hit a breakthrough. As the 27 was likely borderline. And just hanging out on the edge. From all the reading and research, the whole fear of death thing indicates a small dose. And best was to "blast past that" is to simply up the dose and completely pummel the ego mind. Any thoughts or advice from anyone would be great, as I still haven't acheived breakthrough via plugging, but hit breakthrough 10 times via smoking (14mgs). Pretty determinded over here to get plugging to work... Thanks all and much love
  14. Totally understand the sentiment. Almost no one understands or cares about your journey. But you know what? That's okay. Do you. Also, this video may help :
  15. I just wanted to jump on here and say how powerful this mindfullness meditation method is. Even tho it might seem simple on the surface, don't overlook it because it can take you incredibly deep.
  16. Finally figured out the "two" books I should get
  17. Started reading the first dozen pages already. Its a big thread. Guess I'll keep trucking.
  18. Admittively, I haven't started this yet. But it is on the list. I do have the book list tho. Which book on the book list in the kriya yoga section would you suggest to start with? (without saying the name... ) The first one... second one... third one?
  19. @Leo Gura Oddly enough, it was your week long retreat videos on your blog that influenced me to do it. And holy smokes is it ever powerful. I can definately see how it sharpens the mind and your awareness and fully primes you for self inquiry.
  20. Curious. In the first MEO video @Leo Gura states that you want to do the HCL (snorting) cause of the longer trip peak so, quote "you can understand what's happening to you" - My question here is, how can YOU understand what is happening to YOU if YOU are no longer there? As in, your ego doesn't exist anymore... Every breakthrough I've had thus far (via smoking) , there has been no "me" , no ego. No sense of self at all. The only way that "I" know that I am back is when my brain starts its internal dialogue in English again. Outside of that, during breakthrough, it's more of a infinite experience . Which, practically speaking, can't be experienced by the ego. I plugged again last night. This time, upping the dose from 17mgs freebase (or about 20mgs HCL equivalent) last time to 22mgs freebase (or about 25mgs HCL equivalent) this time. And this time it was more of the same. The room would dissapear, then come back into focus. It was a little stronger, but the internal dialogue was still there, thus I knew that the ego was still kicking around. The next time I plug I'll be plugging 25 or 26mgs freebase which should equal about 30mgs HCL. Hopefully that will shut the ego right down nice and good and "I" can finally experience that oh so sweet non duality for 45 mins or longer.
  21. Saw a very simular thing (different ROA tho) ... Posted it on the nn-dmt thread but since you posted this I'll post it here as well ::
  22. One of the highest frequency albums I've ever heard in my life. Takk, also means "thanks"
  23. I've never experienced that. However neither should you if you follow the "protocol" of not eating for at least 4 hours, and not drinking for at least two hour beforehand. (No greasy or heavy meals either)
  24. @Goodpeace - Yes it is safe to do everyday. I heard Martin Ball talk about how he did it three times a day (with clients) every week for eight years. And the guy teaches at a university. But , it is challenging stuff. I'd refer to @john23 comment above. Solid advise.
  25. Well, finally got over my fear of plugging. Plugged 17mg of freebase as according to @Ellenier the substance would have a weight of ((17X1.167) =19.839) It was very smooth and gentle on the come up. Most of my "fear" was all beforehand, before I did the substance (same thing happens when I smoke it). I sat on my couch and looked at this golden plant pot that was right above a television. From time to time, by moving my head slightly, almost everything would go dark with only some shining "reference points" of the room left. The room appeared to almost dissapear, then it was quickly back again "in focus". Didn't breakthrough. As my ego's thought's were still there throughout the trip (altho shut off most of the time) . The golden pot would move around a little bit too. Similar to some solid objects move on a lose dose LSD trip. It mainly did this when the pot was not "in focus" and the room was partially dark. The plant itself also changed appearence from time to time (its a fake plant) but even that would change and go back "info focus" and look like a normal plant. Considering I've broken though 9 times via smoking (14mgs) now, I know what a breakthrough is like, and this was definately not it. I am happy however that I got over my fear of plugging. And will be trying 20mgs freebase next time. Again according to Ellenier that would be ((20X1.167)=23.34) . But I think there is a "hole" in that theory (using 1.167 to multiple by the weight of the freebase) Basically, sure. It might make the MEO acetate weigh that much more because you are adding vinegar. But in the end of the day vinegar is not 5 MEO. So the potency of whatever you plug will be whatever the weight of the actual 5 MEO is before you make it a acetate solvent (before you add vinegar). Might be wrong, but I think that makes the most sense. Won't have a opportunity to plug for another month sadly, but will smoke it a few times before then. I also notice less "fear" before hand the more frequently I do it. For example; I get a LOT of fear when I haven't done it for 2 weeks or more. Less fear if I do it every week. And even less if I have done it within a few days or even the day before. Now, I'm not suggesting to do MEO multiple times a week for the rest of your life lol. But it is something to keep in mind. Also like the idea of doing it 13 times in a row (or a little more/little less) as a meditation retreat supercharger at some point this year.