ElvisN

@charlie2dogs @abrakamowse @aurum @FindingPeace @Kenya Thank you all for your insightful replies. I think what all of you are essentially saying is that if I feel disrespected it's because I think of myself that way. After I posted the question, and before I read any reply, I had realized this. Yesterday. I saw that it was a problem of self worth. I had an automatic unconscious emotional reaction to what he would do. My self esteem would get immediately damaged, and it would be difficult to recover from that. Once I gained this awareness, it was easy for me to stop associating self worth with his opinion. I visualized that I have self worth regardless of what he thinks of me. And this helped sink this in my subconscious, which was important because I think this is primarily a subconscious problem. Once again, thank you all for your thoughts. They are valuable, and have certainly helped me reinforce my lesson: don't rely on others for self worth, cultivate it from within. No one damages my self esteem without my permission. Crucial lesson.

At first it seems like self acceptance and self improvement are mutually exclusive and contradict each other. This is not the case. Only once you accept yourself as you are right now can genuine motivation for self improvement occur.

@Blaze35 Go here: actualized.org/blueprint

@DrMatthewsausage I've bought both the course and the list. The list I think is worth it because Leo has read through many books and presents the best of the best. It'll give you access not only to the best but will also save you valuable time that would otherwise have gone into reading less important books.

@Annie I highly recommend watching Teal Swan's videos on YouTube. Her entire channel is focused mainly on dealing with the kind of issues you have. Teal has faced all of these, and helps people to overcome trauma and self sabotaging behavior. Her videos are insightful and informative. Highly recommended.

@Annie Hi Annie, Thanks for your story. Let me share a bit of mine: I also grew up with trauma and deep emotional and psychological issues. This especially affected my relationships with people and my social life. I know what it feels like to have self sabotaging behavior and feeling worthless. I had a lot of social anxiety, strong negative emotional reactions, low self esteem and OCD, both towards others and toward myself. I could see that my experience of life was very very different from the way other normal people experienced it. I also want to tell you that today, however, I am predominantly psychologically healthy, and have pretty much overcome most of my self sabotaging behavior, and rarely experience strong negative emotional reactions. You can get here. Believe that this is possible for you. For most of my life I didn't understand what was causing these negative experiences. However, in 2014 I came across a man called Steve Pavlina. He has a popular personal development blog, and I read it voraciously. He's a person who'd been pursuing personal growth for more than 15 years, and shared intimate details about himself, his thoughts, and his life. Pursuing growth for 15 years made him not only very psychologically healthy and strong, but thrive in life. This was important because it gave me a vision, a picture, a model of what life could be like for me. It expanded what was possible in life. His passion for growth rubbed off on me, and it became increasingly important to me. At one point, I became totally committed to personal growth. That commitment I made is what got me, eventually, out of all my problems. At the time I didn't even understand my problems well, but that commitment made me push forward until I did. I started reading self help books, looking for a solution. I discovered Leo Gura, and he was a blessing because he too had suffered from many of my problems, and published videos that talked about how he overcame it and how I can too. That was a good starting point, but it was not enough. Eventually, somewhat by accident, I discovered that the root of my problems was low self esteem. I read Nathaniel Branden's book The Six Pillars of Self Esteem, which was another blessing. Annie, I would suggest that you get therapy. If you're concerned about the cost, I think that overcoming these psychological issues is more than worthwhile for it. Also, scan through Leo's older videos, and watch any and all that relate to what you're going through. Important: Read Nathaniel Branden's book The Six Pillars of Self Esteem. This is THE book to read on this topic. Stay committed. Know that although you won't overcome your problems overnight, you eventually will, over a period of weeks, months and years. Reframe this healing process as psychological growth. As you grow, you'll feel very amazing inner psychological changes. At times, you'll feel like the core of you is changing - use this thrill of experiencing deep inner change and growth to motivate yourself and stay committed to this. Most of the work lies in your hands. Take positive responsibility for your life. Those who manage to overcome the kind of issues you have are those who know in their bones that there is an alternative, and that by pushing forward and persisting in the will to understand, despite difficulty, they can get there. Aim to not only reach psychological health like me, but to surpass that and live a richer and more powerful life. You can start with something small. Take a small step every day. Annie, I wish you the very best. Hope my message wasn't too long

@Leo Gura Agreed. Yellow/Green work tends to revolve around contribution, and I think Yellow particularly revolves around providing education. Leo, have you yet progressed to Turquoise?

@Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj ahahahaha @quantum Thank You

@quantum Wow, lovely! I'm fascinated by the spiral dynamics model and the idea of evolving your psychology in such a way. Thanks for your perspective! I think I'm 70 - 80% Orange and 20 - 30% Green. Got any tips for transitioning more into Green and Yellow?

I think exercising cognitive abilities is my favorite one

@JustinS Are you in Yellow?

Oo, you've reached Yellow? High 5! Good work Good for you Could you describe what your perspective is, and how it changed from Green? Thanks!

@Elton That is the thinking that maintains the dogma. Your justifications for why you believe what he says "he's a pro at personal development", "he has referenced many books" are very similar to the ones I had. It seems that because he's studied so much and experienced so much that he must be right, right? No. Just because he's well read doesn't necessarily mean he's right. Try to see why he might be wrong. Try to see why enlightenment, although probably true, may also not be true. At least not true for you. What Leo says may be true for him, but how do you know whether it's true for you? You need to experience and study what he's studied to form your own opinions and worldview.

@Ivansmarks Hey An important step in your self development would be to start relying on yourself to make such decisions. The fact that you're developed shows that you're becoming increasingly mature and this means that you're also becoming more self reliant. And to be self reliant is to be able to make decisions for yourself. If you know the benefits of visualization and meditation and why they work well, you should have natural motivation to pursue them, because you understand their importance. Based on the circumstances of your life, and based on the benefits of these activities, and based on how sustainable it will be, what amounts of time and frequency will be best? Ask yourself this and think of the answer. I'm not saying you shouldn't ask for advice. No, ask for it. But when receiving it, use your own independent judgment. Here's my advice: Meditate daily and maintain the habit for years. If you maintain this long term focus, over time the structure of your brain is literally going to change and you will receive permanent changes. The functioning of your brain will have improved. It is important to commit to doing it every day no matter what. By doing this, you'll give your brain no leeway for making excuses and you'll be far less likely to quit. If you're not meditating presently, you can start at even 5 minutes. I think this is far better than starting with an hour or even half an hour, because you won't be used to it and are more likely to quit. Do 5 minutes every day for a week, then when you feel more comfortable, increase it a notch to 10 minutes the next week. The third week make it 15 minutes. If in the fourth week you're still not totally comfortable with 15 minutes, maintain it. In the fifth week, increase to 20 mins. At one point you'll hit a stop, perhaps at 30, 45 or 60 minutes, depending on your goals. As for your chess, I think there's nothing wrong with that. But remember, use your own judgment and think for yourself. You should be able to decide whether or not it's good for you. I think that if chess is increasing your self confidence you should definitely continue playing it. Having something in which you are better than most others can give you stronger self confidence. Hope this helped Best of luck, Vishal

@Elton It was only a few weeks ago when I transitioned from Blue to Orange. During that time, I was trying to think increasingly rationally, as Rationality is a key trait of Orange. If you think the stuff Leo tells you is absolute truth and undeniable, you're probably being dogmatic. You're totally convinced that what he preaches is true. However, you need to rethink this, and you need to discover the truth that you can never be certain of anything. Realizing that absolute truth does not exist will be a big step towards Orange. Continue trying things and aiming towards Orange and psychological evolution. This is important and in my experience more than worthwhile. I was conscious of the change in my psychology as it was happening. Although transitioning from one stage to another one happens gradually, there is a tipping point after which you totally pass on to the next stage. The change takes place in the unconscious mind, and you will experience a reconceptualization of reality. You motivation in life will change and you'll become a more effective human being. As you make more progress and move into Green and Yellow, you will be rewarded will a psychology that is increasingly agile, effective and adaptive. I could feel my emotions changing and consequently, my perception of the world and myself too. My values also changed. Although I'm not totally sure what caused my tipping point, I used an affirmation the two nights leading up to it. In bed, before sleeping, I would tell my subconscious to make my mind increasingly agile, efficient, and effective. I'd say this twice or thrice, and then again in the morning after I woke up. Maybe that did the trick Best of luck, Vishal

@Saarah Nice! Here's one: Let he who moves the world first move himself. I believe it was Socrates

@brovakhiin @Norbert Somogyi Me too! Cheers guys

I'm up for it, and I'm committed to self actualization! @Sarah_Flagg , if you want someone who will take action, I'm the guy. I hope to improve your coaching skills and practice. Time zone: GMT/UTC +03.00

Being introverted does not necessarily mean that you are shy. It does not necessarily mean that you're anti-social. An introvert can be very social and outgoing. However, introverts tend to be more reserved. They focus on their inner worlds. Extroverts tend to be more talkative. They focus on their outer worlds.

Haha, no, @Leo Gura, you're not INTP, you're INTJ. INTP is similar, but you're INTJ. Read the description and you'll see it's true. https://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ.html http://www.16personalities.com/intj-personality

I know Leo has suffered with severely low self esteem and those associated issues too: insecurity, caring about what others think, lack of confidence, self criticism, self doubt, self sabotaging behavior, neediness etc. How did you overcome this Leo? How did anyone else overcome this? How can you overcome insecurity, or feeling insecure? Perhaps you could explain what causes the feelings, why one can feel that way?

Thanks @Mat Pav :)

Wow, thank you @Endew! Okay, I will do it. How long do I do this for?

Wow, thank you @Endew! Okay, I will do it. How long do I do this for?

Wow, thank you @Endew! Okay, I will do it. How long do I do this for?