Mada_

Today a girl I really liked told me that she did not want to pursue a romantic relationship with me. This was a new experience to me, as I have always been the one to remove myself from relationships. At first, I read the words and it hurt me. I realised what people meant when they said "broken heart", as it almost physically hurt within my chest. I inquired into this feeling into my chest, and got the sense that I was creating it. Like my personal view of this girl did not align with the change that occurred in reality, so then it caused pain. The word "attachment" also showed up in this situation, I was attached to the idea of being in a relationship with this girl, and I really liked her and what she stood for. This gave me empathy for people who go through divorces, and breakup with their partners after years of commitment... Ouch. Feeling through the experience allowed me to tolerate what was happening, and now it feels like I my focus has come back to transforming my life. I think I was a little bit needy at times, but not overtly, it was just that I would be the one to text first and ask if she wanted to catch up, and I would do this a couple times a week. Through questioning, various practices and focusing my attention onto what is important to me in life, I am sure that these boundaries will become clearer.

No social media simplifies things. The people you truly want in your life have your number, and all the other distractions are eliminated. But if you think posting on social media adds value to your life then go for it.

If the crops are genetically modified, proteins can form in the plant that are foreign to the plant. The immune system sees this as a foreign invader, and in the process attacks its own tissue. (I read this in relation to gluten in a book by Sarah Blum M.D, but I think the principle could potentially still apply.)

Have you heard of Transpersonal Psychology; maybe something you'd like to check out.

Hey all, I am looking to do a DMSA urine test to see if I have any heavy metals in my blood stream. I have been looking at different websites; its exciting that I get to take my health into my own hands. I have am ready to order from this website: https://www.dmsachelation.com/ Has anyone used this service or have another they recommend. Thanks

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Photos like these make me wonder why I actually quite successful with women

"About" reality

It just dawned on me that Bushcraft is a real occupation that people monetise. Being in nature to me is the most worthwhile thing in the world, I absolutely love it more than anything ever, if I could do one thing for the rest of my life, it would be to roam around a deep, lush forrest. Bushcraft is an art, bush-"craft". An art that can be mastered. Does anyone on here do regular solo camping? Or have experience with bushcraft? If so, can you maintain spiritual practice in the wilderness? Obviously meditation would be easy, but I've always wondered whether it would be possible to do a solo bush retreat, and maintain a Hatha yoga practice. Perhaps I will take this on as my own challenge.

@Roy Hey man, thanks for the reply. Would you recommend any resources that would help someone become proficient at solo camping. What are the baseline skills you need before spending long periods of time in the wilderness. Peace and thanks P.S. (long shot) If you're Aussie I'd love to go bush with you

@SirVladimirThanks so much for your reply; you make some really interesting points. Some ideas I have had have been to combine bushcraft with self-help. Here are some I had been pondering: - A bushcraftsman psychedellic integration assistant: So people love doing psychedelics in nature right? I thought you could take people into the forest, walk them through the process of id-ing the mushroom. After they ingest the mushroom you basically contextualise their trip based on their movements so that they can fully surrender to the trip e.g. They walk aimlessly into the bush, you clear their path, they stop and stare up at the trees as it gets dark; as they do this you efficiently build a fire, sleeping arrangements. The person tripping doesn't have to worry too much about surviving and can just focus on a fully immersive and integrated trip. - I also thought you could take out school kids who are having a hard time; I know that being in nature, away from everything can really help rewire you. You could facilitate them on one night of the trip, to do one whole day and night solo, in the process educating them on positive psychological principles. Then letting them go out into the wilderness to fend for themselves, perhaps regrouping at a camp to reflect about what they are going to take back into their lives. Obviously these are very personal ideas based on my own experiences; when I was in school it would have been incredibly valuable to have had someone to take me away from everything and give me time to ground myself. - Maybe documenting a pilgrimage through a massive forest, and having checkpoints where people meet you to do workshops; the pilgrimage would be the personally fulfilling, challenging, daring and captivating selling point, and the workshops would be about educating people about bushcraft, and philosophically opening people's minds to the non-conformist possibilities of how their life could unfold. I am saving to do a bushcraft course in October, but if I may get enough money to do it sooner. Peace

A while ago, I was doing "self inquiry" (however I was more neurotically focusing on what I thought was awareness). As I did so, pressure would build at the third eye, this became more and more apparent each time K did the practice. One time, the last time I did the practice, maybe around 5 months ago, an intense pressure began to build. It was as if my third eye was a tunnel, as I could direct this piercing poke on brumadhya itself, and even inside this tunnel, and behind my forehead. This piercing, that was directed by my intention, got so intense, that the brumadhya itself popped and energy spilled out of it all throughout my body; it poured down my face, fell down my body, there was so much of it that it felt like some collected at my ass cheeks. No article I can find describes this happening, nor any kundalini video. For a while I stopped all spiritual practice, and attempted to forget and surpress all things to do with it. Now practice (Angamardhana) Hatha yoga, and after I finish this Mandala period (40 days daily practice), I have another practice lined up (Yogasanas). The current symptoms are just a large area of dullness that resides at the the brumadhya point. Often the feelings of slight pain inside the head, particularly a small are, like a line, of pain maybe an inch or two, inside the head behind the right side of the forehead. Also my head gets very tense very easily, especially when I contemplate, study or just think, quite a lot of tension builds in the head, behind the forehead and closer to the middle of the brain. I try not to let it bother me. But if anyone has any information, resources or specialists I could see, this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

There are other way to pleasure women; perhaps if a guy had a micro penis he could learn to make women orgasm without using his hands, people do that, so regardless there are ways around it. Do women prefer being pleasured by a penis?

A while ago, I was doing "self inquiry" (however I was more neurotically focusing on what I thought was awareness). As I did so, pressure would build at the third eye, this became more and more apparent each time K did the practice. One time, the last time I did the practice, maybe around 5 months ago, an intense pressure began to build. It was as if my third eye was a tunnel, as I could direct this piercing poke on brumadhya itself, and even inside this tunnel, and behind my forehead. This piercing, that was directed by my intention, got so intense, that the brumadhya itself popped and energy spilled out of it all throughout my body; it poured down my face, fell down my body, there was so much of it that it felt like some collected at my ass cheeks. No article I can find describes this happening, nor any kundalini video. For a while I stopped all spiritual practice, and attempted to forget and surpress all things to do with it. Now practice (Angamardhana) Hatha yoga, and after I finish this Mandala period (40 days daily practice), I have another practice lined up (Yogasanas). The current symptoms are just a large area of dullness that resides at the the brumadhya point. Often the feelings of slight pain inside the head, particularly a small are, like a line, of pain maybe an inch or two, inside the head behind the right side of the forehead. Also my head gets very tense very easily, especially when I contemplate, study or just think, quite a lot of tension builds in the head, behind the forehead and closer to the middle of the brain. I try not to let it bother me. But if anyone has any information, resources or specialists I could see, this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks (Quoted from a previous thread I posted; thought maybe this is a more suitable place to post.)

Thank you for your help

@reves Thankyou so much.

Sometimes when I contemplate, my mind becomes rigid and it tends to end up as tension in my head. Perhaps I could just try to use my mind in a less rigid way, or meditate before I contemplate, do body-work more regularly. But it can also happen during meditation; primarily using the do-nothing technique. - Has anyone had this problem before. Perhaps when I zap the mercury from my brain it will reside, or when I get into psychedelics in a couple years I will become terminator and it will be fine. Appreciate ya'll. - peace and thanks

Thankyou very much for your reply. Do you think the exploded chakra is something to worry about?

Thankyou for this. What you have said has truly resonated with me, and I am inspired to continue on my own path.

It has been a while, but after a long spout of laziness, playing victim etc. I feel I have my spark back. what has changed since my last post: I am no longer practicing yogasanas (traditional hatha yoga); the practice would tend to take up to 4 hours at times due to my own incompetence; I think a lacking of cognitive ability would result in the visualization aspect of the practice (50% of what is supposed to be a 50 minute practice) to become significantly slower than what is ideal, and therefore greatly extend the practice. I was jeopardizing sleep and meals a lot of the time, and due to this hassle I would often chose to miss days of practice. At one point I got really frustrated at the whole process, and decided to just go on an eating, youtube and netflix heavy indulgence spree. This indulgence lasted for weeks. But fortunately, as of recent, I am starting to lose interest in such lazy behavior. what is going well: Healthy eating (initially intended habit): I am eating consistently healthy, have been doing quite well for about a week. I am feeling really great and am practicing self control. Relationships: I met a girl. She is absolutely beautiful, she is quite profoundly intelligent, constantly surprising me with what she says. I met her last year at a camp put on for my school, and I thought that she wouldn't go for me because I thought I came off quite open amd feminine in our initial interactions; but the last time I saw her I mustered up the courage to tell her that I thought she was beautiful, half an hour later we were making out. We were laying in this park quite late at night, she was in my arms; I felt the encounter had this element of spontaneity that was missing from my life. My life is all about finding time to do very specific things: "okay I need to read everyday", "I need to start a mindfulness practice because it will benefit my life", "I am going to do more psychedellics in my 20s", "when am I going to be able to be strategic enough to implement all of these tasks into my life, carefully enough to not backslide" I ruminate. But having this girl, another human, in my arms did not feel like a task, there was no procedure I had confined myself to that I could get wrong. I felt like this enlivened me and inspired me to break free from my rut, now taking a more contemplative, investigative approach to my life, whilst anticipating when it is wise to slow down. Reading/learning: My reading habit has improved as I have taken a more relaxed approach. I have often struggled with neurosis when reading non-fiction books; attempting to force every little bit of information into my head by trying to recreate the premise of my book on my pahe of notes. I've also been confused about whether it is okay to read more than one book at a time, would that be a lack of discipline/focus? (I thought). But lately I've been reading three books at once: one on nutrition, the way of the superior man and the big leap; just reading as much as I feel like and doing my best to assess the value of the information, genuinely contemplate it. ----- what is just going, but not well enough to point out how well it is going: Yoga: I am currently completing another Isha traditional Hatha yoga program, this time I am learning a practice called Angarmardhana, which has fitness based intentions as opposed to the purely spiritual intentions of yogasanas. I've been telling myself that the reason for temporarily replacing my yogasanas practice (on account of the duration complications) that I can strengthen my body and then maybe as a result do the yogasanas practice more effectively. But I think it also has a lot to do with practice being more fast paced and for a shorter duration with supposedly faster results, perhaps such results will be motivating. I am not proud of this thought process, but it has contributed to where I am. I plan to face this practice with much more discipline than I did yogasanas, finishing the mandala period and adapting through any and all discomforts. After this program I want to adjust my sleeping schedule to wake up at 4:30am, this way I can complete my practice at the ideal time recommended my sadghuru (however I don't know if this applies Angarmardhana, I know it does to yogasanas) and also consistantly experience the serenity of the morning. I am also feeling confident about commitment to this practice as it will replace some of my exercise habits, adding more motivation as I enjoy having an exercised body. Exercise: Quite inconsistent. Yet not non-existent. Contemplation: Yesterday I sat for one hour and just inquired. I want do be more constant with this. Today I had an opportunity to sit for an hour before a bus arrived, but I came up with excuses not to on account of reducing stress for an upcoming transportation related situation. However when I got home at the end of the day, the promise window of time that I would return to would result in the loss of some valuable sleep on account of very early transportation commitments related to my yoga program. I learned that even a window of time is precious, and I think inquiry into reality and what life is about is a precious way to fill it. I will avoid such cop-outs in the future. Emotional work: I haven't implemented any of 'the Work' of Byron Katie yet. I haven't scheduled a large block of time to do so but I will do so soon. When I contenplate I experience emotional relief, which is allowing me to relatively effextively manage my emotions. Life purpose course: I am not doing the course everyday, i have been stuck on this one exercise that is supposed to only take 15 minutes, for a total of like 6 hours (accross different spurts of 15 minute sessions). But I do make progress with each session, even if it is taking longer than it a should. And I feel like with my latest developments with health and personal reflection, that I will be much more effective when I return to the exercises this week after my yoga program is over. ----- Insights/developments: - I am beginning to see that I have ludicrous existential biases, and if I don't live a contemplative life, then such biases will be maintained my whole life. Thought can disguise itself as being separate from reality. Which is an example of a strange bias. - upon reflecting on my inherent "gifts", as David Deida in his book "The Way of the Superior Man" discusses a man "giving his gift" - "Most men's reason for doing anything has to do with discovering their deepest truth, enjoying total freedom and love, and giving their fullest gift". I was wondering what gift I may have, as I always imagined a gift to be some inherent talent burried somewhere inside me that would make me lots of money if I found it and bring me happiness, kind of like Bruce Lee discovering his love for martial arts. But as I dug deeper it dawned on me is experience is all I could find. And in this sense my experience would be more of an active, creative process, rather than a search to find a specific thing. And perhaps all I need to do is be as real as I can be. Apart of me wants to choose inquiry into life / reflection and contemplation as "the one thing" that I choose as my thing to intensely orient my life towards. But I think my intentions aren't necessarily to find the nature of what things are, although I love to do so, but moreso to find what the point of human existence is. Now that I think of it I do love to contemplate, and I love having paradigm fucking insights, so perhaps this is all I need to know. Thanks for reading any of this at all. I hope you're doing okay in your corner.

Hi, my name is Tommy, I am 18 years old and I live in Australia. I have been doing self-actualisation work for coming on two years now, and I am creating this journal to keep a general track record of my daily practice throughout the week, the struggles that I am facing and how I plan to get through them, articulating my vision so that I can understand it better. It is time for me to take responsibility for my compulsions and inadequacies, and make the most of not only my youth, but of my whole life. Being young, I have precious free time to set the foundations for an incredible life. I have realised throughout my life that life itself is a messy, messy thing. Sometimes it feels like it is as simple as pointing a hose towards my plants and watching them grow, other times it is as though I have dropped the hose, full pressure, and the fucker is spraying all over the place. This journal is a place that I am to catch my hose, and direct my energy to what I think is important. This journal as a means of holding myself accountable I will be keeping track of the consistency of these practices, by starting my posts with a tally of whether these practices have been fulfilled on a weekly basis, and if the practice is not completed on a daily basis (e.g. The work of Byron Katie, due the often extended duration of the practice), I will set a date and location to complete such a practice and report when I have completed the practice in a future post. My practices include: - Yogasanas (Classical Hata Yoga) - Reading, taking notes (learning) - Healthy eating - Contemplation using a journal - Journalling (often Leo's Life-Purpose course work) - Exercise - The Work of Byron Katie This journal as a means of logging my progress of facing my challenges, and articulating the larger vision that I am moving towards The issues I have been struggling with lately is binge eating. I have a habit of lashing out and eating whatever will bring me immediate pleasure, followed by watching hours and hours of Netflix television series. In the initial stages of this journal, I want to focus on my binge eating issue, by pledging to not unnecessarily indulge in processed food, nor consume and wheat, dairy or added sugar (apart from honey if that counts). I also want to continue to log my progress towards finding my life purpose, because when these binge eating and Netflix episodes take place, it is often at the expense of completing work from Leo's course. Thank you for reading and I look forward to connecting with you all in the future.

I was initiated into shambhavi mahamudra kriya yoga, I want to continue, there was a time were I saw great benefits. My body felt delicious, great mood, and life was more vivid. But nowadays my kundalini symptoms flare up when I sit in the asana, I feel energy rising into my brain. The heart on the left and right heat up, tremble, and once it even felt like it burnt me a little bit. Interestingly it's only when I do a short loving kindness meditation and chant at the beginning of the practice that this flare up happens, throughout the actual kriya everything feels okay, it's just a bit frightening. I just feel so guilty about missing days.

I have grown up in a household with parents who are both fine artists. My early childhood was just drawing, I never could wrap my head around video games, nor did my parents buy me any, and I would always have access to notepads, pens and paints, so that was what I did. As a result of this, I have always been a talented illustrator and painter. It comes very naturally to me, and I am able to fuse imagery. Yet this is not my bliss per se, but my talent for imagery extends to photography, film which I feel like I could explore as an outlet. I was always intrigued by spirituality and personal development from the age of 15, when I joined a small sangha, I was also passionate about philosophy which I valued over art due to language's ability to vividly portray, to convey a clear message and not a metaphoric one. Starting to watch actualized.org conveyed that to me, I love this no-bullshit approach to conveying a message. But on the other hand, I love nature so much, I deeply value simple observation; on account of this and my artistic strength I am now seriously considering becoming a nature photographer. I think that telling the world explicitly how they could change their life is more effective than showing them metaphorically. How do you think art services the world?

If so, what did you think of them?

I've backslid a lot but never this bad. Yesterday I went back on all of my habits. Today binge watching netflix for the first time in like a year. Is it likely that I will do a full 1.80 if I implement them all back at once?