Nathan99

If you ask me, you had it right the first time where you simply laughed it off. Life is the divine comedy, it's your choice if you'd like it to turn into a tragedy because of something that doesn't matter at all in the grand scheme of things. My guess is your solid meditation practice shook up your ego a bit and in defense it concocted this whole story just to divert your attention, but did it work? I don't know, have you been spending time, angrily typing at your computer when you could be on the cushion? If the answer is yes, then either you give the ego what it wants, you stop practicing meditation and you return to homeostasis, at which point I bet your issue with this transgender would magically disappear. Or you could push through these negative feelings and emerge from the other side, enlightened.

Do you guys have any Self actualization videos you would recommend a newbie watch before taking mushrooms tomorrow? I've already seen Leo's how to use psychedelics for personal growth.

I just turned 19 and i've been meditating pretty consistently for about 3 months. My path began after reading the book "Passage Meditation" by a (IMO) underrated spiritual writer, Eknath Easwaran. I only picked up the book because I was bored, but all the stars aligned after reading the first page. I realized almost instantly that meditation was the key component missing from my life. Later that day I also watched my first video of Leo's, The No Bullshit Guide To Meditation, I guess the title just stood out to me. In the video he basically challenges you to commit to 20 mins a day for the rest of your life, I'm at around 50 hours of meditation after watching that video, but that's not counting the 10 day vippassana retreat I did. As for the future I plan on continuing my meditation practice (obviously), but I'd like to structure the rest of my life as though it was just one long meditation retreat, which if I learned anything from the course, is how life is meant to be lived.

What are your takes on shrines for meditation?

I think the film makers most certainly did intend to hint at what you said, to many similarities for it to be a coincidence,

Just delete Snapchat and save yourself the trouble. Your streaks will end, and you will fall of the grid a little bit. But dude if you want to get anywhere in this type of personal development, social media should be the first thing to go. You might regret it at first but your future self will thank you, and your friends won't even know that you're not getting their snaps!

I have actually taken psychedelics before, Acid twice and shrooms twice, though my first mushroom trip doesn't count because the shrooms were bunk, same with my first time taking acid. My second acid trip was awesome but it was more of a light show than anything else. My second shroom trip was very intense but at least I know what a bad trip feels like now. I've also done a small amount of dmt but not enough to break through or anything crazy. The upcoming trip I plan on having will be the first time I try to gain anything by tripping. I plan to take around 150-200 ug of Al-Lad on my birthday in 1 month. I've kept a semi-consistent meditation habit going for about 4 months, and I'd say i'm about ready to experience my first taste of the truth. I know an argument could be made for taking the meditation path slow because the meditative states you experience for the first time would be so much more life changing if you weren't doing psychedelics which fling you way past those states and into the void. Non the less, I think this could be very beneficial to me and my practice and I was wondering what else I could start doing between now and my trip, in exactly one month, that would help me get more out of my it.

I took a year off from high school when I graduated school in 2017, and I learned so much in that time. You are very lucky to have found actualized.org and the truths that are pointed to in his videos while still in high school. In my opinion you could probably do either, go to college or take a year off, either would greatly benefit you. Just remember your true purpose and structure your life around it. If college would help you do that, many find that going to college right after high school keeps you in the academic mindset required to do well. However the experience of taking a year off would much better prepare you for the real world, as college is practically a bubble and nothing can prepare you for life other than life itself.

I just did one, yeah the feeling you get at the end of the retreat is sublime. Other than that though don't expect it to be anything it isn't, like super fun or super relaxing because it isn't really either of those.

@Leo Gura You're the man

Dreams seem like they can be a very effective tool in the dissolution of your ego, I'm just not sure how that is the case. Lately I've been implementing some of my ideas about reality and the nature of consciousness into my dreams whenever I can and my dreams have become a lot more profound. One dream I had, I noticed that the reality I was experiencing just didn't feel real, then I just feel backwards onto the floor. My body didn't hit the ground however and I continued to fall into the abyss. It felt like an act of complete surrender, and it felt amazing. I wish I could have stayed in that reality shattering state forever but my eyes opened anyway and before I knew it I was awake. The effects of a shook ego soon set in and my heart began pounding as my breath became shallow. That feeling of my ego, desperately trying to put itself back together used to scare the shit out of me, but now I understand that it's actually a very important part of the process and I don't mind that feeling anymore. Now i'm not stupid, I know what I experienced is called Lucid Dreaming, what I want to know is what role these dreams play on the path to liberation.

@How to be wise Sure, but what about depression? A severely depressed person may suffer much more than the raging alcoholic, or the compulsive gambler, but just not show it. You're saying that you can tell how much a person is suffering just by observing how they act, but I don't think could be any further from the truth. Think about all the times people were absolutely dumbfounded at the fact that so and so mr/mrs perfect killed themselves. The amount of suffering one must endure to make the decision to end their own life is unimaginable, still there's no telling if those traumas will manifest themselves physically or not. Take Robin Williams, on the surface he seemed like a million dollars, but just under the limited perception of our human minds lied a man fraught with misery. I guess what i'm saying is that everyone suffers in their own way, chances are a lot of us suffer similarly to the way that say a widower or a plane crash survivor feel, simply because we have all agreed to live by the law of nature which IS impermanence. The well off business man has to deal with the sorrow of having to maintain his image as a successful business person for the rest of his life, and he has to live with the knowledge that that's all he will ever amount to. Might seem incomparable to a child suffering from starvation in Africa, but alas the two feel pain which is equally as real for the both of them. The thing is everyone expresses their pain differently, the starving child in Africa may wear a smile all of his life simply because he is alive, yet her pain is no less real than anyone else's. I guess the real question would be how does one measure suffering? Because suffering, after all, is just a perception.

@AlwaysBeNice Yeah I guess a logical next step would be to start a dream journal.

@Shin Right, it's just a dream within a dream. (Cue Inception Noise)

@EvilAngel I think I might have, it happened at a meditation retreat about a week ago. Funny that the closest I ever got to no-self at that retreat wasn't by meditating but by having a dream.

You talk about it like it was a one off type deal, isn't enlightenment supposed to last until the body dies? I mean congrats on having that experience, that sound fucking awesome, but do you truly think you've become fully enlightened?

I really hope to make the most out of this first experience, any tips on what i should bring or do before my retreat tomorrow? By the way it's in Shelburne falls, Mass.

@FredFred Thanks, I hope it does.

I want to start getting more serious about self inquiry. I've been meditating every day for about 3 months now. But Starting tonight, I'm gonna inquire on the self for 30 mins each day before I got to bed. I'm also gonna keep a journal so my insights don't go to waste, and so I have some way of organizing my thoughts. Provided I stick with this habit of 30 mins of meditation and 30 mins of self inquiry daily, am I on the right track to enlightenment?

@Leo Gura 100 hours in a row? Like the buddha when he vowed to sit under the bodhi tree till he became enlightened? Is that a requirement for true enlightenment?