bejapuskas

That's really good progress, I mean, I know people in similar situation to you and it must be really tough to get out from there, amazing work!

@Daneel I mean you said you find it exhausting, but previously you mentioned that feeling like you can be natural felt amazing. So I thought maybe it is the acting that tires you, since you also said you can't stand acting. What are the reactions of your ego that you end up regretting?

I picked it up and I love it, I am just so confused after every scene It makes me self-reflect on what roles I play. Oh sorry, I did not know that about you, I hope I didn't sound ignorant. Reading this, I am not sure, whether you don't enjoy social interaction because you have autism or because you cannot be authentic in social interaction (having to develop acting skills). I am not trying to belittle your condition or anything like that and I kinda understand that if one perhaps did not develop any social skills at all, it might be very hard for them to make friends and do other social things (but I also think this applies to both people with and without autism), but I also want to say that even when people who do not have autism interact socially with people among whom they need to act in a certain way, it also is not enjoyable for them. Do you think people will judge you if you acted naturally? Do you believe you cannot act naturally? Let's frame the question a bit more, do you surround yourself with people who you (maybe justifiedly) believe that they would judge you if you acted naturally? Do you think there exist people who are not this way? (I suggest answering yes to this question if you answered yes to the other question) Sometimes people who have some rare condition become more sensitive and aware, I mean many people would simply judge that person with ADHD without thinking twice about it, but you do not do that. Don't you think that's perhaps an advantage? I mean sensitive and aware friends are scarce and in demand.

Have you ever tried improvisational theatre? It's funny how it sometimes happens that when you act in a scene with other people, at the end of the scene you might be kind of unsure whether you are still playing a character or not x)

Is there any proof that you are human?

There are unconscious people who talk about meaningless stuff even in the most conscious school and work environments. It is to be solved inside. But luckily you can actually choose your friends or talk to people not only from your college, there are more people behind the walls

That's a really interesting contemplation to do, thanks. How did you meet them?

That's funny x)

@Thestarguitarist14 Bruh.. x) @ColeMC01 Still applies, don't you think?

I can see that more and more people on this forum are struggling with unwanted feelings and sexual intrusive thoughts, so I thought sharing this could give those of you who are struggling with this some encouragement. https://medium.com/matter/youre-16-youre-a-pedophile-you-dont-want-to-hurt-anyone-what-do-you-do-now-e11ce4b88bdb

@Dumuzzi That would be interesting. But also keep in mind that normalising it this way basically always leads to violation of female rights to choose their husband. I am not a fan. Interesting insights though.

@Moksha Oh I see yeh, that is quite rare. I wonder if you can avoid all suffering, like literally every single bit. I wasn't trying to make you feel inferior or anything, sorry if it sounded like that.

A guy can be very unhappy with a super attractive girl.

@Moksha I don't think he is like a rare exception... But maybe this is me assuming what their experience was in the same way you are doing it. I really don't think you can understand psychedelics without trying them.

@Moksha I don't think reading about psychs will make you understand what they do, I mean, it is helpful to have some knowledge, but like once you dive deep into the experience it is completely different. It's kind of like reading about football or watching football on TV or talking to people who play football and then playing it. If you don't feel comfortable my advice would be just don't do it. It would definitely reveal new things, just like doing anything you have never tried before, but probably not worth it.

Yes and no, depends on dosage, individual, environment, people around, time after you took the substance etc... I mean before I did I also was thinking similarly to you, but then it is just super different from the type of states you get from meditation and yoga, trust me. It's kind of undescribable. But for example at one point I just couldn't understand what 'trust' is or what 'friendship' is. It's just that the lack of boundaries is so radically built into your experience that it can get really hard to function in that. Realizing that trust is a function of a thought can then seem like a super big realization once it starts coming back and you discover sense of reality again. You might forget where you live, you might stop believing the trip will end... Psychedelics are just super powerful like that, I am not saying it is good or bad for spiritual muscles, but I don't think you understand what psychedelics can do. It's hard to believe. It is very hard not to forget because it is so crazy honestly. It's like totally different neighbourhood of experience. I guess I am not the best person to ask for this as I don't use psychedelics a lot or regularly, actually I think that would be disastrous for me, like forcing a lot you know. In my experience both sober lessons and psychedelic lessons are incredible, they point at similar things, they are just super different, I wouldn't say one is more powerful than the other. But psychedelics can open up things you might not discover with meditation and vice versa. I think after first psychedelic trip it's a big paradigm shift, I cannot say in what way, but it is radical, kinda like if you had your first mystical state. I imagine if I had my first mystical state while on psychs and only then while sober, it might have also been a big paradigm shift I don't know honestly... I feel my life is just flowering all the time, if I do what I want. Maybe if you have zero interest in psychs just don't do them. Only do them if you are thirsty for them, but like in a good way, not escapit way. Tripping for bad reasons is useless.

Do you get angry at them?

Hypnosis is amazing, very meditative, just surrender yourself into it.

Yeh I suspect what happened for him (because a similar thing happened to me) was that concepts stopped being trusted. Usually when you have some sort of experience when sober, you can still function, but with psychedelics, it can be more radical than that, you can just simply forget what your home is or what your friends are, you just do not even know how you could've ever thought them. And then these concepts start to build up again from zero. I don't know if you actually know what I am saying. You might say relatively speaking it takes you hours of meditation to experience something that you call mystical, whereas you can just take a psychedelic and it is there for you. But actually the psychedelic can have a very slow build up kind of, that can be less 'explosive' than a sober experience. After coming down perfect experience is still there, no worries. It's not like it will un-align you. JC loves you more than you will now. I don't know how it works for other people, but I don't think just relying on psychedelics is a good idea, that's still being reliant, limiting yourself. Plus it gives you so many lessons about how thoughts work. You aren't 'missing out on anything' by not tripping.

I have to say psychedelic experiences are very different from mystical experiences while 'sober'. I guess you might better understand what Leo means by 'him not choosing the words' and the words 'just getting chosen' and these things if you did psychedelics (that doesn't mean you should or that it is necessary). I have to say I would probably never truly understand how sense of reality is built up, I mean, you can understand it and experience it to a certain extent, but then on psychedelics, it is much more vivid, it can be (I guess it not always is, psychedelic experiences are all different) much more clear to you how the thoughts arise from nothing. It's like boom and it's there, out of nowhere. The degrees to which this happens are clearer in my experience, while sober, it usually happened for me in one bang, like there it was, some mystical experience, on psychedelics, it can also be like a big shift in consciousness, but then as it settles back down, you can clearly see the different things being created. I don't know if I am making sense here, it's just that it is kind of understandable for me that you guys cannot relate to what he is saying if you haven't done psychedelics in the past. But that doesn't mean you aren't the same love, you are.

@Tim R I kind of agree with you, I also wouldn't call someone dumb for this purpose, especially online, where people cannot see body language and facial expressions and it can be even more misleading. From my experience it doesn't work like that, people get butt hurt when you call them out right, almost everyone does. I am not trying to defend everything Leo does, just providing a counter-perspective on where he might be coming from, maybe in his experience calling people dumb works and that's why he does it, I don't know.

Last Tuesday, the government of Nigeria turned off the electricity supply in a region where people were peacefully protesting, so that in the evening, when there is no light anymore, their 'police forces', who have been raping and killing their own citizens (of the same race too) for some time already, (that's also why the people were protesting) could just shoot everyone in the streets while nobody could see them. (of course you would've been able to hear the gun shots through your windows if you lived in Nigeria) A similar thing happened in Ethiopia and Mauritius and I bet this is just one example of unconscious behavior in the African continent that isn't uncommon. That's how dumb people can get. When Leo tells you that unconsciousness is a real issue, he is not joking. When he says Africa is still stage purple and red, he doesn't mean these guys are normally just walking around, doing their own shit, while believing Santa exists or trying to win at sports or some shit like that, it's properly brutal. If you need to go shopping you are risking your life. And nobody is going to protect you, because those who are supposed to protect you are corrupt af. Maybe you guys do not suffer as much as Nigerians do, maybe you do, I don't know, but like working on not being dumb, raising your consciousness, is serious business.

@Nahm I wanted to give you a warning for insulting me, a Moderator of the Actualized.org Forum, but as I, Moderator of the Actualized.org Forum, have once said: that would be very dumb, so I am not giving you a warning, even though you would've definitely forgiven me my dumb actions.

Exactly. Maybe Leo is just trying to live his message of 'everything is love', I don't know... It might just be his way to express himself, or also just a stage he needs to go through. When he said that he would pay a lot of money to get rid of dumb people, you might take this seriously and start thinking like that is horrible, but also see that Leo has done so much research into how dumbness kills and endangers and tortures, directly and indirectly. Thanks to dumb people people in power, many unpleasant things can happen that you can hardly avoid. I feel for the people who hate him for saying that but also I find it kinda understandable, because I live with people from different backgrounds who are affected by dumb people and could die any given day just because other people 'dumb'. Also I guess it is good that we have a mix of people, some are better at being sensitive and caring, some are better at pointing out things seemingly violently (but often lovingly too).

@Lebowski Have you tried to see the situation that makes you angry from a different perspective than yours? Or changing your perspective?