bejapuskas

Member
  • Content count

    3,161
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by bejapuskas

  1. This is what women go through all the time, just with straight men hitting on them.
  2. I said there sometimes is overlap, sometimes no, there is both. What do you mean by valid actor? Are you describing your experience or an idea about experience?
  3. @look_inside If you understand imagining as interpreting (imagining meaning), then you might say that we all live in completely different worlds. In my experience, the imaginations are usually not connected, as I cannot read other people's minds, but they can sometimes overlap, and there are exercises you can do to access this. In my understanding, it is good that our worlds do not merge, as it creates more freedom for everyone to control their own lives, instead of everybody consciously.
  4. @Karmadhi I understand why you would say that not having sex makes a guy misogynistic. But then do you think as a virgin who does not get sex you cannot understand women? Also an issue with regulating such market if it existed would be that the women are not in any way obliged to listen to you about who they should and should not be having sex with, that sounds horribly wrong.
  5. I know cases in which it is not like that.
  6. @Himanshu Yeah he might not be suppressing his feminine, his feminine seems fine. His leadership style definitely has been beneficial for this forum and he cares a lot about protecting us from falling for cult leaders, encountering spam etc. He does this very well, he learns from other people's mistakes in a way that almost nobody can. I don't really know what you mean by becoming more feminine prematurely being a hindrance to his gifts. What I honestly think is, that insecure guys need stage orange pickup advice to balance out their stage blue bullshit idea of what being nice to a girl means. They have to throw that out of the window and realize that girls, just like guys, can be materialistic and many of them want sex and probably can get even more horny than guys. And Leo does that a lot, his teaching are very feminist (equality of genders, not supremacy of women over men) in the way he analyzes JP or in the way he is passionate about giving his girl multiple orgasms. He teaches people to work on themselves instead of focusing on the other person as well, which is probably the best thing you can tell someone. What I do not like though and I do not know how this would be a sign of him postponing his feminine side awakening for later is, that he basically never speaks up for people whose voices are not heard. Instead, he supports the majority of people in the dating section who are stage blue/orange insecure men without much experience. The pickup mentality is good in the way that it shows you that you can become more lovable, more dateable, fuckable etc... That's all fine. But if you take that to the extreme, you might become somebody who always thinks there is a chance that the other person will start liking them, and that is just not true, some people will NEVER be attracted to you. And forcing somebody too much is very very immature and toxic. It is that what we call objectification of women, because it does not take into account the feelings of the other person, usually a girl. These guys then start thinking that the lack of communication and honesty is something good, because being hyper-orange macho is what's good, and that's still stage blue linear thinking and it does not help anyone. And this is perhaps true if your goal is to have bunch of one night stands. (although I am not judgemental of one night stands, I think they are totally fine and I myself would be up for one with a person when single) But it is not true if you want to have bunch of one night stands that do not cause serious psychological damage to a person/people or if you want to have any kind of long term relationship. And I am not judging this from the stage blue moralistic repressed religious perspective, which says that one night stands lead to psychological damage always, because I don't think that's true and neither is there sufficient scientific evidence for this claim. Actually some researches say that it does not have an effect. When it is consensual though! And this is where Leo Gura falls extremely short. Because he teaches how to overcome sexual shame, he teaches developed political ideologies, he teaches how to increase confidence perhaps and how to work on youself, but he never mentions consent. Although he often lists rape as one of his examples of "devilry". There have been cases in which members have described having non-consensual sex and nobody called them out on it. It is horrible. Can you imagine how uncomfortable it can be to be naked in front of a stranger and having their hands touch your genitalia? It can feel pleasurable, but you might also realize last minute or last second, that you do not feel comfortable. And in that case you say stop. And the other person should not say: I've gone so far, let's just non-consensually masturbate this person. I don't care, they will enjoy it, because they are horny fucks. No. And this can happen to guys just as easily as girls, please let go of the idea that guys enjoy rape that some of you here still believe. I am just very concerned that Leo does such a good job at teaching so many things, yet he cannot support women and queer people on this forum and he cannot teach consent. He instead continues to support objectification of women and non-consensual sex and basically never ever supports people who try to do so. If he spent less time writing sexualizing comments, he could spend that time calling out rapists and letting people know that we do not welcome this here. So it does not actually require less effort. I am not even asking Leo to change his video content here. Also, I am not advocating for nice guys here, because I think nice guys have a lot to learn and even though their idea of consent might be more holy in their mind than in the mind of an Incel, (which is banned on this forum, but still extant in the form of unlabeled sexism) their idea of what is good in a romantic or sexual interaction comes from their ideological beliefs that are not based on listening to and communicating with their partner or a person they are interested in. It is essentially imagining what's good and projecting that onto other people while suppressing desires, which is extremely toxic. I don't want to hold a grudge on Leo and never forgive him, I am very open to supporting him in his future efforts to not support sexism. I would never call it out as hypocritical. I think it is sad that people here are afraid of stage green and they get offended by stage green. One can know that something has become an issue when somebody gets offended by somebody talking about rape being bad. Sure, transcend, go into Absolute Goodness and all that, but being neutral in relationships and politics is not possible and it is not highly conscious behavior.
  7. @Himanshu What do you mean by healing and not being able to teach it in an online video? Do you think Leo could facilitate healing better if he was not so patriarchical?
  8. @Zeroguy It's alright, you have my respect. I don't think you deserve to be banned or anything. But really think about how this forum perceives you, I was not the only one misinterpreting what you said.
  9. @Zeroguy Ok I am sorry. Please don't joke about suicide though or say that anybody's suicide is understandable like this. It is really hard to distinguish between what you mean seriously and what you do not mean seriously, I hope you are aware of that. I appreciate your concern and I am sorry I was not able to recognize it.
  10. @Zeroguy I honestly assumed that you saying that you would understand Leo's suicide was not meant seriously.
  11. @kinesin Zeroguy is not a serious person, read his history.
  12. It does not necessarily require more time from you. Your videos are amazing these days, I actually watch them. It just takes to replace each comment of yours that justifies objectifying of women with a more well rounded one that considers both perspectives. This forum is becoming locker room talk.
  13. @Leo Gura Sure, you cannot really avoid that, but there is space to improve the way you communicate, no? Just like there are spiritual teachers who get the message across in a more gentle way or a more direct way and that is not random, they are quite consistent in doing what they are doing. It is a conscious process. You might say people will always misinterpret things and you cannot be more right. But the extent to which girls and queer people are bullied on this forum is crazy. And this aversion is also limiting the extent to which people are capable to arrive at a more objective understanding, it is not just a mechanism that limits the amount sensitive people get butt hurt in discussions, it comes from a place of huge shadow. For example you often summarize stage green as social justice warriors who do meaningless things. And perhaps they do kind of meaningless things if you look at it from the big scale, the global scale. And anything on the global scale can be seen as quite meaningless. But then these social justice warriors with the liberal opinions are then the ones who are actually going to vote for Bernie. And the ones who have a green shadow won't, unless they are blindly following you. And then Syria gets bombed, minorities get oppressed etc. It is not a soft issue of people having biased views, you have one million subscribers on youtube, you have some influence on people and if your audience is mostly stage orange insecure men, they will go tunnel vision mode on dating advice and get only incel perspectives. Incel perspectives are still prevalent here, although they have been banned together with all the different pills and JP. For example, in one thread, a guy said that a girl did not give him consent, but then "his penis just slipped inside somehow". Anybody who has experience with sex would understand how much of a bullshit this is, it cannot happen so easily unless you're bathing in lube. It was non-consensual sex and nobody called it out on the thread. People actually insulted that girl. And god knows what kind of individual that was, maybe she was traumatized and did not want to have sex, and even though the OP claimed she enjoyed it, it might not have been true and you have to tell these inexperienced guys about how consent is important, how communication is important etc... You are not treating this issue justly if you do not change your style of communication at all. Although you tell people to go read some feminist texts and you say things such as "a true man is a feminist", which I totally agree with, the rest of what you say totally overshadows that. And people think sex is only physical, they value one night stands over relationships, they have become the opposite of strictily monogamous christians. And that is even with you mentioning in the "How To Make a Girl Squirt" video, which works amazingly well by the way in a long term relationship while being useless in a one night stand, that being comfortable is so important. And sure, tell the girl you want to fuck her hard and eat her out and shit so she can overcome her sexual shame. But then also a part of that is consent and communication which is not common sense for our boys here. They don't understand what women go through. Preety India is an Indian woman. I experienced night Mumbai myself, that place is fucking scary even for guys. And all these men justifying rape and non-consensual sex can be so traumatizing. These guys from 1st world countries don't understand why feminism is so fucking important, because they grew up in utopia. Don't you think it is important to teach them that? They cannot just skip through spiral stages. Like you literally have your best moderators leaving, because of their gender. Ananta was the most efficient person to avoid spam on this forum after probably you. She is gone now, because the insecure guys could not appreciate her, because she was such a good moderator, that they did not even realize that there were spammers here because she banned them so quickly. All these submissive, feminine, queer guys being told that they need to be what they are not. Sure, they should integrate, but they can also find somebody suitable for them and do what they like, they don't need to appeal to some Actualized.org gender roles. All these people trying to "adjust reality" to their gender binary views. Asking questions like how does my model that only includes feminine and masculine explain switch dynamics, homosexuality or trans? It is ridiculous really, you even made a video on this, but it has less views than most of the other videos, because people are not interested in gender. I guess it might cost you another portion of your fanbase. But are you going to do this for truth? Motivating others to seek understanding and mutual understanding? Isn't mutual understanding a part of understanding?
  14. @Proserpina Yeh he will be able to post soon don't worry. It's just 3 days.
  15. @Hulia I hid them. I am not sure if anything Zeroguy says can be taken seriously, but I can check up on him, we are friends and he is my favorite user.
  16. There are different types of knowing and sometimes emotions are needed to understand things.
  17. I think we have to work on this acceptance of women and people who are not straight and cisgender here. There are so many occasions where I think something somebody wrote must be very uninviting or even offensive. And we have diversity here in terms of this, which we can facilitate for learning, but we do not do it as much as we could. Cultural diversity too, it is very interesting to discuss societal issues with people from cultural backgrounds, even when the bias is more somewhere, it can also be different and people can learn from biases. I think we should stop just treating development as arriving at one truth, which Leo does not even claim to have. @Leo Gura It seems to me that you do not talk about development in stage green enough and people do not see your embodiment of it. Like in the JP video I thought it was amazing when you gave a more stage green understanding of politics and why it is important. But I still get the sense that people often see you as the ultimate authority figure, which they like to parrot, and sensitive people who can really contribute to this community get shut down, because they do not advocate for what you talk about most of the time. Although you seem to understand that conceptually from what I heard from you in your videos and some comments on this forum as well. I just think the communication is lacking, if you know what I mean, people misinterpreting things.
  18. @DIDego People on this forum try to skip green belt and go straight to turquoise belt. Voila, nihilist incel.
  19. That sounds much more descriptive of your actual view, good job on the honesty. You can create meaning from what you value yourself. Maybe you value human life and potential, so you want to align your actions with that mindset.
  20. @Harlen Kelly I don't know them bro. I only read this one comment, it's too little to decide, do you see it?
  21. @Hulia He was making fun of people committing suicide and jumping off a bridge. This is not jokeable about here, we need to make this message clear. Even if you mean it as a joke, a human might interpret it as something else, it might be insensitive towards the family, who are humans, or trigger someone who is suicidal.
  22. @Gregp If everything is meaningless, then this statement also. You are not nihilist at all, you are just confused and feeling down perhaps. You are judging things by how big in size they are from what you are saying. But your feeling does not have a size, yet it is there and you are stuck in it. You can do stuff to change this feeling that makes you say such words.
  23. @Harlen Kelly Not enough context was given, plus the guy was doing other things too. I just found this judgement really unfair and it is not unique to this thread per se.
  24. @Max Green Thank you for opening up this topic, it is very important that we discuss this on a forum where masculinity is so dominant. I think you are totally fine, if that's what you like, don't feel pressured to do something some people on a forum or a guy on a screen tell you to do. Take it as an opportunity to develop deeper, more intimate communication and sense of connection with your partner. But if you really care about pleasing her and are just worried about appearing as violent or cruel, perhaps because of some experience with hyper-masculine, aggressive men, try changing your view of this. Maybe you can use your submisiveness and niceness to learn how to listen to and serve her better and kind of do something just for her. Not because you are desperate, but out of care. Do you know what I mean? if you are just disgusted by the idea of being aggressive, understand that she might want you to fuck her fast and hard. It is not necessarily "violent"
  25. Perhaps having the ideas that make your identity survive justified and supported by others? Curiosity, desire to learn from other people and their views of the world? Creating something greater together that nobody can do alone?