Identity

@Nahm I send her the link to this thread ?

@Nahm She’s not quite as closed minded as you might think. She actually uses different traditions and has done multiple psychedelic retreats. I could ask her if she wants to have a chat if you really want ?

Daym, this one hit the spot. Actually got chills from this. Thank you ??

@Inliytened1 Daym that must have been a crazy week or two ? Well, I’m definitely quite deep in conceptually ? Also, I’m 50 low-med dose mushroom trips in. Definitely reached a lot of peak states, with some integration. To me it seems that I have the choice to surrender. To some degree I have surrendered already. Seems to me that I have to fully find the will to die. To see my own devilry so clearly that I see it’s the decision to make. Maybe its yet another mindgame ??‍♂️ If push comes to shove Ill see what 5meo or something like that can do for me, but don’t feel ready for that atm.

@mandyjw Thank you for your response. Overall I feel that I have become much more mindful in interactions. Focussing on the breath is indeed also what I try to stay with myself and stay present. In a way I feel that becoming mindful of something first leads to unnaturalness and overthinking. First in unconscious incompetence, I’m just not aware of a dynamic at all. Than I start to see the dynamic in conscious incompetence. Than I start to do something about it in conscious competence. However this requires thinking and can feel unnatural. Than it becomes second nature in unconscious competence.

@Marinus Depends what the question is really asking. Are you curious about the effects building muscle on attraction? That is a debate to have. What degrees, what situation, attractive to whom etc. But if the real question is, how can I become more attractive? Than building muscle is a very indirect path. It’s like asking how important running shoes are in running a marathon. We can sit and talk about that. And there might be some validity to the claim that there is. However, it would seem training would be way more important. Training here would be changing the essence of your being. How do you feel in life. How do you see yourself. How do you see woman. What presence do you bring. What is your eye contact like. What is your body language communicating. How much do you allow yourself to feel turned on around woman. Are you sub-consciously inviting them into your life, or pushing them away. Etc. Etc. Also, the bait must match the fish. If you’re looking to get laid at the club with some girls who spend half the evening brushing up their face and making their boobies pop, some big biceps will have quite an impact. If you are trying to get into a relationship with a self-actualized woman, she will look past your biceps right into your soul.

@Arzola Talkin’ about crystal balls and they appear ?

@IJB063 Well, tbh, my comment is slightly misplaced perhaps. I’m still quite a beast now I’m 10kg lighter lol. When I was really muscular I found it to be polarizing. People made a lot of assumptions about me when entering a room. Also some where intimidated, felt like I had to work harder to build a connection. Looks in general are a small factor though.

I became more attractive when I dropped the idea that I needed muscles to attract girls. Instead I worked on self-esteem etc. Lost almost 10kg in muscle, became 10x more attractive ?

Vision was the way out for me. Starting to see how current actions shape your future. The different futures that you can create. Paul Check talks about the “crystal ball” excercise. Imagine holding a crystal ball in your hands, that can show you your future. What does your future look like if you continue down your current path, 3 months, 6 months, a year, 5, 10, 20 years down the road? Is that the future that excites you? If not, than what would you like to see in that crystal ball? What visions start to get you out of a state of numbness into some degree of excitement? Contemplate what kind of life you want to create. Once you are excited about some kind of vision, you will find it much easier to step into action.

I had a similar situation, only than to a lesser degree. My mom was clinging to caring for me and me being her child. I guess this is a tendency most moms have when their children, especially youngest, transition into independence. What helped for me is to write her a letter. In the letter I wrote about my feelings and thoughts. How it was time for me to become my own man. A big part was also thanking her for all the effort she put into raising me. Also, explaining that she can now let go of that period in her life, and focus on herself and her own happiness. This turned out quite well. It gave her the time to slowly absorb the information without getting too defensive. It allowed me to express myself clearly. On the basis of that letter we than had some good conversations. Our relationship dynamic/roles/identities have shifted to a different equilibrium in which I feel more in line with myself, and feel more respected for who I am. Your situation does seem a bit more deep though. Evaluate for yourself whether an approach like this could be useful ❤️??

It might be helpful to think about it as “choosing a skillset” instead of “finding your skillset”. Robert Fritz talks about how we often think there is some kind of passion to be found, either internally or externally. This can create a lot of confusion and doubt. “Is this IT?!” If instead you just go with the flow and start choosing to engage in the things that interest you, it will snowball into a direction that you can, looking back, call your passion/skillset. Consider that there might be multiple avenues, multiple skillsets, that might yield similar satisfaction, passion and value to the world.

Had this funny vision I wanted to share. If you think of reality as a game, how cool would it become an NPC (non-player character). Just there to guide players through the game. Setting the framing of what the game is, giving pointers and help to get through it smoothly. No personal agenda, completely guided by GOD ?

Another amazing, eyeopening episode. It got me wondering, how do we lead our generation and the ones following us successfully into the future? (I will be talking from a Western-European, on the cusp of what in this chart is distinguished as “generation Z”) So, with this treadmill idea, generations before us will be dying off, and with them more survival-oriented ideologies. The baby boomers have a huge amount of power now. Also, they are simply with a big number of people, relative to the rest of society. As they go into retirement, this will on the one hand free up a lot of power to influence the world. However, they also need to be taken care off which will be a burden on society. The babyboomer age is much more attached to hierarchy and status than generation X. I foresee generation Y and Z being able to take on more responsibility and influence, sooner in their lives. They are also building on the societal structures of the previous generations, so that they are almost completely moving out of (physical) survival orientation. This comes as both a big opportunity and burden at the same time. The advantage is clear and simple; a lot of the struggle is gone. Energy is freed up to invest in other activities. The burden, however, is that they are moving into a new ara where external motivation and clear structures have dissolved. This leads them wondering around with no clear purpose. Thus the rise of nihalism, addictions to video games, food, porn, etc. The role I want to take on is to help people become conscious creators. For them to be able to get in touch with their internal desires and visions, and being able to follow up on them. Giving them tools to build the things they want. To see reality as a canvas they can paint. The confidence and ability to create. Guiding this freed up energy and turning it into something positive. It’s almost like society is like a plain. For all this time it has been gathering speed on the ground (the ground being survival). There was no ability to do anything else, all there was to do was fight gravity. Now society is starting to catch some air. The front wheel are lifting off the ground. Physical survival is no longer the main concern. How beautiful! But how dounting! What to do, now we are in the air? The stable floor is gone. I want to guide people to start to enjoy the flight. All the loopings and dives we can make ? This reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend a while back. He said that humanity was never supposed to have made it so far. That we have outgrown evolution and survival, and it wasn’t supposed to go that far. What a depressing thought. We are a child that is only just starting to learn how to walk!

@Loving Radiance ❤️ @Hello from Russia Haha the title might have not been the best lol ?

Hello there, Related to last weeks topic I made an exercise to self-reflect and inspire desired behavior. By combining Nathanial Brandon's stem completions from the 6 pillars of self-esteem and Leo's questions from his "Mankind is the bullshitting animal" video, I made the following 10-week stem completion exercise: bullshit stem completion excercise .docx For those of you not familiar with stem completions, the idea is that you write the stem/question and then write 6-10 answers to each. Personally, I benefited a lot from Nathanial Bandon's exercise and will add this to my morning routine for the upcoming 10 weeks. Let me know if you have any questions, or decide to try it P.S. I read a nice article on different tactics people use to rationalize corrupt behavior, as well as how people get sucked into corrupt groups through different socialization processes. Might be helpful in finding some ways you deceive yourself about your bullshit: https://www.lawschool.cornell.edu/alumni/reunion/upload/04anand_et_al-_ame_2004.pdf

I have come on a challenging crossroad on this path. For 9 months my girlfriend and I have been together, and although it was not always easy, we have developed a strong connection. There have been doubts from my side, and also from hers at some point. A few months ago we agreed to just see where it would go and enjoy whatever that would mean. For the last week or so doubts came back for me. Yesterday evening we had some challenges, and without much deep contemplation, but speaking from the heart, I told her that I thought it was time to break up. She was not expecting it. After some initial denial, she bursted into a depth of sadness and hurt that I have never seen before. I really broke her heart. All night she was crying and begging me to not break up. Because I had not come in with a decisive decision, I told her that I needed a day to see whether I really meant it. That day was today. I went on a walk with a friend who guided me through coming into touch with my soul. There was a moment of clarity; it is time to break up. Now comes the most challenging part, following up on that decision. She is already totally destroyed. The only thing that is keeping her somewhat together is the hope that I will change my mind. To add insult to injury, she has no family and no close friends here. She is also at an unstable point, since she is looking for a job which has been challenging. Also, she is a very sensitive girl as is. I am really her main pillar of stability and security. And that pillar is about to be taken away. How can I handle this situation as best as possible? At the moment she is at my mothers place, so she is not alone. Like I said, she will have little to no support system when I cut the wire... Any advice? ?

The clarity I had for a bit, crumbled into confusion and doubt. I am not sure whether it is weakness of not being able to pull the trigger, or it is my heart telling me it is not time to break up. What I do know is that my decision to break up is rushed and I can’t do it from the place I am at now. I will enter the conversation open and honest and express my doubts. Thank you all for the advice, much appreciated. Feels really nice to have this support ?? Time will tell whether this is the right decision.

@AwakenedSoul444 Hahahaha ??

Just had this image in my head. If reality is an infinite fractal, is holism and thinking meta, piecing things together, nor completely relative? as if in a strange loopy way putting the puzzles pieces together creates yet another puzzle piece in a larger puzzle. Perhaps the only true meta realization is the realization what the whole process IS. Although it can still be useful to think big-picture relative to being a human.

In my mind there seem to be valid reasons why not to fully awaken yet. ”your still young, you don’t have your financial grounding yet, your business only just starting to take off, your just about your own place. Give it a year, few years to settle, than you can fully surrender” - the story goes. Is there any validity to this story whatsoever? Will there always be that story? Can there ever be a reason not yet to awaken? can having a stable ground, solidified life, be beneficial to awaken to?

It leads to more contraction ?

@Leo Gura I was just thinking about whether that is still the purpose behind the content. Is creating a profound life the highest strategic purpose so to say? Or is it about Truth for Truth’s sake. Understanding for its own sake. Would the approach be the same if “creating a profound life” was the highest strategic intent?

Ouch ?

Just laying here, reflecting on life. Thinking how proud and thankful I am for myself, the work I have put in the last years. The amount of growth and change I have been able to make. I’m thankful for Leo and this community for providing so much wisdom and support. Absolutely changed the whole trajectory of my life. I’m thankful for the society I’m in. The opportunities that present themselves everywhere around me. The amount of resources and time provided. I’m thankful for my mother, who has cared for me. Every step along the way, putting my interests above hers. Putting her heart into raising me. I’m thankful for my girlfriend. Such a beautiful lovely girl. So sweet and tender. Infinite hugs ❤️ What are you thankful for?