non_nothing

First of all, you can for sure confirm for yourself that you are in control in the present moment. Test it out. Check. OK? That was an experience and it is beautiful. It is gone and you have gained experience and skill. You are now in the present moment which you allow and choose what you want to do. Which is all good.

In an answer to your fear of "misleading ego", the proper question ask here is. Now within all your discoveries, who asks question to whom then in order to some authentication of himself by another illusion?? Study the question and It's parts and It will make sense to you.

Committ doing meditation and self-inquiry, It will happen

Yes very wrong No very wrong Yes very right No very right Yes you're right No you're right Yes you're not right No you're not right.

Yesterday, I guess I remembered the exact moment I came into this body, the earliest screenshot from my life. I don't even remember where is this place but I am assure that It's from my childhood because It followed some other kindergarten shots in my mind after. This is terrific. This is yet another shot that I don't exist. At least more appropriate to say: I have not been existing as body/mind. Terrific and blank. The thing is It's been a long since I visualized that screenshot in my mind. I can almost say that It's new into my awareness. That shot. It's like I went to my childhood like 1 years old and take a photograph from my eye's perspective and bring it to my NOW awareness. I am quite sure that I have never seen that visual or experienced as memory. Since memory is past, and each passing time becomes memory. The cyclic poison of all question is: What is the first memory/visual? If agreed upon a point, can we go just a tiny further? If so this can go forever, if not, there was no first memory/visual. Entailing paradox. Alike Xeno's.

Did someone summon me Asking questions are granted. We humans believe questions are the truth. But they can only serve as gateway to the absolute truth. The absolute truth is greater than that. All-containing, and the superset of everything. =================== My model for that as follows: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ N O N D U A L I T Y _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ \\ \\ /---------\ \\ \\ \\ \\ ____ | NOTHING | // // // // | \---------/ // // | A (a.k.a: silence, void, noself, zero) | B T | S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ A L L D U A L I S T I C N A T U R E _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | O R | L \\ \\ | U U /-------\ /-------\ /--------\ /---------\ /---------\ \\ \\ \\ \\ ____| T | White +--+ Black +-- . . . --+ Colors +--+ Choices +--+ Duality +-- . . . // // // // | E T \-------/ \-------/ \--------/ \---------/ \---------/ // // | (a.k.a: something, answers, mind, questions, truth) | H | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ O N E N E S S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | | \\ \\ | /------------\ \\ \\ \\ \\ ____| | EVERYTHING | // // // // \------------/ // // (a.k.a: god, whole, infinity) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Top and bottom layer is transcended from middle layer. The important thing to note here is, the bottom layer is not DEFINED as "super-set of every possible dualistic nature (middle layer)" Also layers are not in some order. Top doesn't mean number one. Every layer has its own personal experience for one to recognize. When one understands this reality, he will transcend into "absolute truth, Self, higher-self, God-self" (on noted right-side on layers)

Can you?

How can one identify himself with doing with freedom from mind/ego? Why discipline arises in the first place? Can discipline be created out of fear? Why one would be disciplined if no fear or need there? Why would one want to wage his freedom of mind into the discipline of doing? Can we really talk about self-discipline while in reality there is noself? This question will not make sense if you think it as "can you borrow 12 apples from a basket where 10 apples are there or something like can you borrow 10 dollars from a bank account there there is zero amount of money in account" this question will rather make sense to experiential people.

The unexpected, error, bug in the matrix, caused by "No bullshit guide to meditation video by Leo" He accidentally proposed watchers: "Commit to doing meditations everyday at least 20 minutes a day from now on" Unexpected behavior by non_nothing, he took that granted. Very well said "I'm sure none of you will commit doing it everyday, maybe one or three watchers of this video will take this and commit doing it for their entire lives" by Leo. Now It's been almost 16 months, what I have come here to say is "Commit doing meditations everyday for the rest of your life with no exceptions" Every rest path is detail

Very beautiful man. Very. I am so grateful for your time and help. Thanks. @tsukiA question: Did you mean "goal, ultimate goal" by the word Ultimate?

everything is predetermined, (non_nothing): including all infinite possibilities

What I'd suggest from my personal experience is that, Once I had the worse symptoms as like you've described here. Anxiety attacks and all sort of things. I've been working out more than 5 years and I've developed anxiety recent years. The thing I'd suggest is keep going, because when you get a break from working out, first week is the terrible I've noticed. It goes away on its own.

From first person, experience That "crazy" feeling, I have deeply investigated on and have personal interest since It bothered me and still time - to time does. I quesioned it very carefully throughout wide-spread time. The practice goes like this: You imply that the fear of yours become true, so that you gone insane or crazy or mental (each has it's own taste so you should think about how is yours) then ask the question: Then what? What bothers me if I bla bla bla...then you seek for answer. E.g. You imply that and ask " consider that I'm crazy and will have the terrible weed experience that I had in past, what does ti mean to me?" You gave an answer to that question: You imply that and ask again for a potential answer " yeah so what? " "whats bad about being crazy" It was for me, rooted to fear of abandonment, and fear of getting rejected within society basically. Mind can twist the hidden cause of it very well. You gotta ask questions. For each negative belief you have discovered, now you have to fix each and recontexualize your beliefs as positive with attacking them like a psychologist do. Q1: Just because it feels that way doesnt mean It will always end up like similiar experience. If I am very good at predicting things 100%, and this is true why am I not playing stocks or lottery? Q2: I can choose whenever to smoke weed and not to smoke weed. If I don't like it, I won't smoke. That is all matters. This is me magnifying things and suffering for no reason. No such thing is happened and I did not smoke weed. Why to go obsessive about it and over thithere'nk about it to exhaust my mind? Q3: Everyone, like 100 out of 100 people can't be thinking the same of you. This is just my mind interpreting things and trying to twist the reality. This can't and absolutely can't be true. So that this is like thinking in only "white and black" categories. Q4: Nobody will abandon me. I am quite happy person and life goes on. I have myself and this life which is all matters. I (hopeyou do) have quite yet enough beloved ones on my side and I have hobbies. If you want to master the skills that I've shown to you, read the book "Feeling good by David Burns" you can download it for free on archive.org

@Joseph Maynor I'd say rather than control, I can't really find myself with identifying any activity. Sure I can do things. It's like I can start doing things. But after a while, It all loses it's interest over me and I drop it doing completely. This tis not a thing I am bothered. It's funny actually. I cannot identify with anything or take anything serious. Literally. The exception is meditations. I can't see it as a "doing/activity". It's like breathing for me. Recently I asked the ultimate question for myself once again and the answer come out as, I'd just meditate for no reason my entire life and die happily about it. For some reason, meditations started to have a very special direct experience for me.

Thank you for wise words. But I'm having hard time understanding the sentences of yours not having mother tongue of English. Can you elaborate with some examples or simplify some things for me, may I ask? Can you explain when discipline is advisable and "Conductive" I know exactly what u are talking about and actually being quite honest, I have done and experienced a lot the things you gave as examples. I guess It would be very accurate to say I got a bit dizzy because of that bouncing ball back and forth between. Can you help me a bit on this one?

This must be a joke... will watch it. Yes I got what you're saying but what would be the balance point?

Make youtube videos

The improved and common version of your question is what's the difference of dream state vs real estate. Since till you wake up from dream, it's all real you can't tell.

Whatever you lack, you choose it. @fredfred

I'll take the million. Thanks

Love you jk

It's better to focus on the things you want to have in your life rather then the money or cost of it.

You too. I said clearly at the bottom. Happens