DrewNows

(Id like to explore this with ya) First off we can question if it's really our problem. Then is it something out of our control? I am not sure if you are familiar with Byron Katie's "the work" but it helps us work through negative thoughts/beliefs by questioning them from different angles so we can actually see if they are true. It really is a beautiful process for eliminating our mistaken truths, even the subconscious ones. I think we get conditioned to see "problems" as bad and solutions to be difficult and arguments to be a given. Maybe it is possible to simply question the negatives then create positives for LoA. For your example, can you see how you've made her problem yours? Not necessarily bad but maybe it’s possible to simply offer support, encouragement and communication without having an argument im not so big on the loa but i do think it is necessary to address your "blocks" before attempting to "change" through it. If you aren't able to completely believe/see yourself as achieving abc, address the limiting beliefs, so you can adopt the mindset necessary to produce/cultivate abc

@Shin now has a point! You must be certain about who exactly you’re trying to kill... i want to see “the real shin shady” ?

He is YOU but he didn’t share your def. for extreme in desire. Neuroticism is always self defined, even when you see someone else acting completely neurotic it is still your evaluation THIS is interesting observation and critique! Ive played with the idea of mastery for years. Mastery will never end even once you hit 100% in the experience. The remainding bit is imo the most satisfying to reach because it requires total surrendering of the you. This has been my experience playing soccer

You don’t think his personal life wasn’t “perfect” for him? This is a belief. The harddest thing for the mind to accept is it doesn’t really get to choose the desires. But this doesn’t mean our desires don’t change “organically” as we do. Michael simply did not resist or let go of his extreme desire.

And it may keep you from achieving a goal or desire, from walking into the unknown

All the world really needs is for you to be YOU! For me this work has gotten me full ⭕️ and from here I’ll be content in being all i can for the sake of all those I encounter and my own petty yet absolutely beautiful existence

@Truth Addict ??

@Truth Addict but with a strong desire theres normally co-arising fear of failure and this often leads to suffering

Cool. So the desire is isn’t selfish but arises spontaneously and acts indifferently?

@jbram2002 totally ?❤️

Sure this is great but it seems you still do judge if you can identify toxicity and try to change others. Anyways it's all good man i am simply enjoying this discussion and I find it extremely difficult to notice when there are aspects still in the shadow

Interesting, what does projected love look like? I mean of course it's obvious everything is love disguised but im not sure i understand, maybe you refer to parental love as "always" being unconditional? some parents/people don't understand any kind of love that goes beyond selfish love (what you mean for me) and other people/parents may have selfless love where they create a dynamic to be easily taken advantage of because all their attention is on you.

exactly, it was a shallow ego expression. In actuality, just a poor attempt at humor in relation to your post. Huge respect for you both, even if i don't know your personality as well as ive gotten to see hers. @mandyjw is adorable, smart, brave and funny dude. What i got from your response was your own insecurity, which is okay because it is just my assumption and i know you must be pretty damn awesome to be together no matter what your "strengths and weaknesses" are. I wish the best for yall and always welcome your feedback and opinions @jbram2002 Also want to add mandy is much smarter than i and many others on here based off what i see and i hope i did not offend or disrespect you more jbram

it was a joke to go with your post about shame/ego and expressing yourself apologize for offending yall. im surprised part of you doesn't find it appreciative to hear, or at least be agreeable. Would it change if i was your best friend irl? Anyways, again my apologies, you are good people

@Truth AddictFriends who "love" us actually love their projections of us. What are you saying? Are you saying we don't play a part in the toxicity of others? Trauma is what causes fragmentation and toxicity. Sure we can be ignorantly fluid in life but if you can't see our own role in allowing toxicity, it will continue to find us. yeah sure but why did you have to take them seriously if they wouldn't take you seriously? The problems you had with your parents were "your" problems and this is because of the dynamic you used to have as a kid

ive dealt with this for almost 2 years now. We don't have to get what we crave from here. You seem pretty extroverted so this must be even tougher for you. I have developed a fear to get too close to people during this integration process. I basically have no friends in my city and mainly toxic family to interact with, other than strangers. ive probably gotten a little too comfortable being alone because it doesn't fit all the aspects of myself It is probably unavoidable initially to have that need to share your wisdom with others, but it will fade away and life can/will carry on. The mind uses spirituality as a new way to feel secure. The only addiction anyone ever has is their addiction to thoughts. Edit: It's taken me this long to realize much of my future growth will be in new experiences integrating boundaries without being tied down to a specific ideology or set of beliefs.

your wife is HOT! OOPS!

People are generally going to "love" their projection of you. But what happens when you grow and are no longer a person congruent with their expectations? Generally they will try to remold you or they will be forced to change their projection. When they are unwilling to do this and you don't allow them to remold you, then they will be forced to walk out of your life. Toxicity leaves your life the second you stop giving it attention. In certain situations, your boundaries may not be respected, or in my case, i didnt respect someone's boundaries, therefore they or i must be cut off

@Truth Addict Indeed. That’s what I’m saying I think what we really want is not to have to want just one thing and commit ourselves to a single identity based off what we feel we should do. I think this is fear and it creates the all or nothing mentality of sacrifice and commitment. It blocks creativity and opportunity to flourish in all directions, enjoying the ride of life

Yes that’s a thought implying there’s actually an i that wants something. Trust in the process of life to bring clarity to that thought does this make sense?

Okay what I mean is, once I recognize someone is toxic in our relationship, I can either tell them to get lost or I can create healthy boundaries and if they aren’t “okay” with my new behaviors then they will be forced to change or leave the relationship not specifically speaking of intimate relationships but relationships in general

What is the type of therapy?

Cool man You know what i want from us? Simply to recognize that any kind of limitation we have is self created. Ordinary? That sounds like a safe word. The super humans are so wonderful in showing the impossible is self determined. Thoughts can and will get in the way but we can be ready for them ordinary, super, authentic - all illusions of the mind

Very true! And for the top portion: let’s take two extremes, a monk and the professional athletes (Michael jordon) do you think either of them have a unsustainable or unsatisfactory life? I’d say no because they have paved their own path and each extreme is no longer their extreme but way of life