inFlow

Actualy you werent aware of your desire to do the sabotage (which, when you think about it deeply, you were conscious). Also all of this was created, think why and how are you responsible for this. Also I could say that all of that is just an illusion which also you will definately encounter in the future, but I think these kind of answers wont help you. My tip is just look how are you creating all of this.

Sometimes I wish enlightened beings would speak in a lay-mans language, cause it alienates a lot of new members. As Leo himself mentioned he could do the videos using academia terms, what would sound really "smart" and "geeky", but he understands that would be an instant block to newbies. The info he is communicating itself is really hard to wrap your head around it, add science terms on top of that and you wouldn't understand a bit of what he is talking about, especially when it comes to new foreign subscribers.

I would do the course while the books arrive.

A question to the people that already gone through the course.

@Michael569 How long did it take to finish it?

Was tripping on the weekend. Later in the evening my head started to hurt like shit. Worst pain I ever felt, literaly felt like I was hit with a bat really hard. Wanting to ease the pain I somehow thought I could just go into a meditative state and numb my head. So by just thinking about it I closed my eyes and just numbed my head on command. It felt like I was becoming pure awareness and exiting the body, but being fully aware of the surroundings. First time I did it I just jumped up from fear that I thought I wont come back, but literaly I could numb my body on command. And so I just played with it wanting to see how does it work. Woke up the next day and tried to do that again, but failed. Does anyone have any info on these kind of things?

@TheAvatarState Time traveling? Will doing Kriya give me that? @Nahm This past week I had some interesting experiences. One of which was that I became aware that my mind is projecting ant constructing reality for me on autopilot. I became aware of my own mind, but it felt like my mind became aware of itself playing tricks on itself and believing it, then I felt the separation between consciousness/awareness and the mind very strongly, then I began to listen with care of everything that people said to me, recognizing with my mind and trying to communicate what I really wanted, but the communication had to be spoken very precise and accurately for me to understand. In that state I felt this total no-mind consciousness, just being aware of the mind what it is saying to me. As being in that state I didn't feel myself. I saw myself as this biological being and I just could't recognize it as "myself", I couldn't take ownership of this body. btw I felt really great being in that state, anything that negative came up I just recognized it as just the mind becoming angry and emotional because of the programming that it has. Now can you tell me if I'm going the right path? Or was that some kind of self-deception?

@Gabriel Antonio but that didnt feel in a bad way. It felt like I consciously just turned off my body as in being asleep, but being fully aware of everything. Its sort of like being in a coma, but you can awake in any moment if you want.

"Strange loop -> Infinity taken to itself through itself "Strange loops to infinity Who is aware? Myself being aware of itself looking for itself who is aware The question arises: Does it go deeper?

My experience on doing Kriya for the past 3 weeks: - Breathing improved. - Focus improved. - Felt more conscious overall.Improved being in the moment. - Felt inner peace. - A lot less craving for low vibration activity. (porn, junkfood, being in a bad mood, reacting to drama, etc.) Once I found the right posture how to sit with a straight spine while also being relaxed, my practice immediately improved. Kriya feels like working out the spine muscles. You just become so aware of the spine. Once the spine connects to your head - damn, you feel like a consciousness rod. Tip: If you are working out in a gym or doing hatha yoga, practice mindfull workouts, be conscious of the muscles you are working on. It will help for Kriya. Conclusion: Kriya is very powerful

Actualized.org has a great gravity pull (yellow/turquoise) if you are smart enough to take in the info. From then it's like cruising in life up to a point. Then you actually start seeing less growth as it needs more action. Then you can find life to be confusing after a while of following actualized.org. But after a while you just build your own foundation that mostly resonates with your life and just follow Leo weekly as usual for new ideas, concepts and "tools". You are no longer dependent on him after a while, but it takes time to grow out of actualized.org cause I've yet to find such a man speaking so deeply about these profound things. 2 hours per video is still nothing comparing how deep some of the content goes.

*Dopamine

Yet again I'm here with my mystical experiences on weed. Couple of days ago I vaped weed with my wife. Nothing special just talking and being in silence. After a while for a brief moment I just went into a trance state somehow and boom I became infinite/god. But this experience for me was totally different then my previous ones. Reality was such an obvious illusion. And then an insight occurred that by being infinite I created life as a game, and also I'm playing it myself with myself. Not only I'am playing it, but there are no rules to this game called life. It was such an amazing insight which led me (to a degree) to ego death and a non-dual state. My identity was gone, the illusion vanished like a fog. Then I'm just sitting in silence just being conscious and then after a short period I felt something soooo amazing I can't even put into words. It felt like heaven just fell down on me with this infinite goodness, peace, bliss, calmness! I didn't feel anything, but only that state! I was so gone of this body. If I could imagine what enlightenment is, I would explain it with what I felt! But that only lasted for like 4 seconds. Then my ego just resisted it and in a very weird way I was back to myself. And the first thing that I thought coming down from that state was: "Damn It's good to be back". The mind was scared of the experience that It was aware of. After that I still, to a degree, was in a non-dual state but it was fading little by little. The most interesting part was after about 20mins of that experience, I was aware that my mind is playing tricks. I felt the urge that I wanna just go play video-games right at that moment. I was so aware of that, that I caught my own mind in the self-deception (a total ah-ha moment). Which at that moment was a mistake of my own mind that made me consciously realize what a beast the mind is, what the ego does to make me deceive myself from the truth. I'am my only enemy in this path. Also when I was about to go to bed I saw some chocolate left in the kitchen as I was about to pick it up I (in a spiritual way) thought: "Is it ok for me eat this chocolate right now?" and I answered: "Only if I choose to" a sense of free will appeared for me which I never so strongly felt before. Insights: - I was never born, my identity is just an idea. My life is an idea. - Everything is a distraction from the truth. Family, friends, work, relationships, even my own wife is a distraction for me. But I really do mean EVERYTHING. - Most important thing in life: Life purpose + Enlightenment. It's weird that I somehow wonder up on these experiences while high on weed. Maybe it's the method that I smoke it has to do with something clicking in my mind. But when I vape it and feel the high coming up my mind just go nuts, thought after thought, insight after insight. In a way, now that I'm talking about it, I'm kinda thankful for weed. Couple of years ago I had some insights which changed the direction of my life quite massively. One of my friends who works in a bong shop said that vaporizing weed gives you more of a mental high than just stone you to death. That experience shook me in such a good way that the day after I woke up feeling so good, I never had so much motivation to do spiritual work, to do meditation, to contemplate and my yoga books are on the way that I'm so excited to start these practices. These are the most important things for me right now. I will do the work required to feel those 4seconds again. But next time - sober.

@Leo Gura What was those 4 seconds that I felt? Was that a little taste of enlightenment? I never felt anything so good.

Yeah that moment when the realisation occurs, the most shocking thing is that "YOU" were never actualy born.

(not a native English speaker) Can anyone help me with this contemplation? How am I me? Why can't I be you? That question rose up a few weeks back when I and my wife were vaping weed and then that thought lead me to my awakening. This was a super strong experience, later about 5 days after that I was in total non-dual awareness. But a few days back it disappeared. It lead me to an emotional fall in my psyche. Well cmon it felt bad loosing this. Then yesterday I just contemplated why did I had that experience. What was the breaking point to it. And it was understanding what consciousness is. So I kinda thought my way back to awakening and here are my ideas which kinda makes me feel deluded: Consciousness is not a human (biological) "property". It's a universal thing, to infinity. Consciousness always is, was and will be. Consciousness has no memory or matter, but it can be conscious of things that has perception (awareness, sight, feel, smell etc.) it "feels" everything and it is also "nothing". Ultimately i'am consciousness thinking that it is the body. Everyday that this body goes to sleep and wakes up, it remembers everything up to this day, because it has memory and it "feels" like im always still me. Why can't I be you? I'am you. But when this consciousness looks through your body, through your mind it thinks that he is him, because of memory. It is conscious of everything that the mind has in it, bad memories, good memories. But whats behind this body, whats behind this mind, who is actually aware of this body? It's consciousness! The tricky part is that the mind doesn't want to see it. This makes sense to me, but it makes me so dizzy. It fucks with my mind. Also today I reviewed Leo's video on "What is consciousness" and I understood everything, listening to him and saying "yep thats right, mhm yep that is also true". So my question would be, did I loose my mind or am I on the right track? Maybe I'am wrong?

Thank you.

Itself

I didn't intend to make that experience, that was just a chill out night with my wife. Makes sense. The mind thinks that way, consciousness is just aware of those thoughts.

Also by thinking this through it gives me non-dual awareness, but not a permanent one. It fades away because of distractions and the minds resistance to it.

I can answer this one, there is no suffering later. You just can't suffer in this state, this understanding/realization just auto fixes that. But you do have your addictions which need to be taken care of as soon as possible.

Who am I?

Last week I realized this for myself. This was "my" brake through thought of becoming enlightened. I'm just replying to "myself" LOL, spiritually awaken "people" jokes It's as reading my own thoughts. The only thing now that matters for "me" is personal development. I'm so happy for you reaching this state, and also well written post!

So yesterday I still felt the no self and I reviewed Leo's enlightenment experience video. The first minutes of this video, everything that Leo said I experienced. I just wanted to see how he went through it, and it's very beautiful that I felt everything the same, even the order of the insights were pretty much the same. "Broken through every last remnant of reality, beyond life and death" "There's no difference between what's real and what's not real" - I also saw this one, I saw every thought in my mind as a real thing, every dream that I had, every thought was considered real to me in that moment, it couldn't be anything else (maybe the consciousness expanded that much that everything wasn't real anymore idk). "I see that the very fabric of all of reality and that it's just consciousness and that it's me, there's no such thing as me, it's all just reality, it's all just consciousness, it's just God, it's just God through me that's all there ever was, there was never anything else but me. It's all just me" - The best description in this insight, of this experience, this actually explains Enlightenment - "it's just God through me" "There's no difference between anything, it's perfect" "It's only itself, the only thing that it could possibly be. Itself being itself, defining itself against itself, speaking through itself, speaking as infinity not as Leo there is no Leo. Speaking as one to itself, speaking through itself, hearing itself, being conscious of itself, being itself coming alive within itself dying to itself forever " - Here Leo became conscious of itself, that he is god. Same as me, that I found my TRUE SELF, there was no Remi in the first place. "There's no difference between me and you, I'am you, you are me." - We are all one, nothing else but one. Enough of the quotes. I just wanted to update this insight with more detail just to show how similar the experience was to Leo's. And it's quite jaw dropping to see that my experience was almost identical. For now I just feel completely without a self, just being my true self, being conscious of itself, I still know that I'm infinity, but I'm not always aware of it. But most of the time it's a bit confusing when I'm out in public just seeing "myself" everywhere, it's a bit funny in a way and beautiful. But the beauty of it working so perfectly is amazing. Yesterday I decorated my Christmas tree, just sat on my couch and cried for no reason. I wasn't in any joy or sadness, I just wen't in tears all confused to why. Figured I just won't question these things just accept it. But the most amazing thought in my mind now is my development. The most meaningful thing now for me left to do is just doing more personal development. I feel so free trying out new things because I don't have this big ego with limiting belief in my way.

*note, not a native English speaker. It's consciousness. I'am this thing called god. I'am the one. I'am conscious of myself. I always was myself, but believed to be someone else. Rolling back to yesterday. Sat around the house, ordered pizza to eat with my wife, the evening was kind of a mini celebration that she got a new job. Also we vaped weed as well, we kinda randomly stumble on some serious mystical experiences while we're high and my wife loves them. Anyway we talked something deep about our relationship, we kinda opened our hearts out to tell the deepest of truths that we hold on to each other. Then a bit later on we kinda changed topics and went spiritual, started asking questions. I can't remember how it actually happened, but somehow randomly I just stumbled on the question like "How am I, I?" "How is my wife, herself?" And then I was like "wait a minute, can it be true that I'am my wife, hmmm, how can I be myself? Why? Maybe I'am just consciousness perceiving everything from this body who is able observe and thinking that I'am something else?" And then it clicked. I consciously understood that I'am everything. I'am me, I'am my wife, I'am also my mom" and I'am also you who is reading this post! Then I said that to my wife! And her jaw dropped when she heard about it. In her mind it also clicked. We were so excited of this insight. Then I like looked at her and felt like I'm looking at myself looking at myself. Then we thought about everything that could pop in our heads. And the boundaries and our projection of good and bad were melted away in an instant, everything seemed good. I thought that we need to test this out. Then the theme of rape rose up. I asked her how do you see rape now, and my wife actually thought that you could seriously enjoy some rape. Nothing bad about it. Like our notion of BAD has vanished, everything that we considered good, bad or we saw fear on something just POOF, as it never even existed. Everything seemed perfect! It's just the way it's supposed to be. Also death is good. You cannot die. You will always be. Interesting thing I felt in myself particularly that moment of the conscious understanding was that I felt a separation inside of me. It was as if a fake me and the real me was split in half and I could feel them inside of me. Inside I felt two sides, on the left the "god, consciousness, everything" me and on the right the "ego, self creation" me. And the ego felt like it was gone. He was never even there. I was shocked to found out that my whole life I wasn't who I always thought to be. I clearly found out my true self! I'am consciousness. There was no me in the first place. I'am everything. I'am everyone of you reading this post right now, but the ego separates us, you see yourself as a separate being which is false and therefore an illusion. Also I thought about how people are worshiping god praying to it, seeing it as a higher being than himself. The understanding can't happen if you see yourself as something else than god itself. You will never find it from the ego mind, you create it and fall into the trap believing that you are lower than "him". The notion of an external entity is false. I still can't answer the question why there is something rather than nothing, I tried, but the answer was that this is nothing, just total nothingness, but I think that this didn't answer my question really. I couldn't understand the answer so I thought I need more time to found it out. But the one thing that is clear for me right now is that I found my TRUE self as everything. I feel compassion to everyone, seeing everyone as myself, just behind this ego smog. And I think I will never try to convince people the truth, because they won't understand it. I will just enjoy this state as much as I can. I still think I will go back to my old ego self (hope not, or not so fast). I kinda feel it creeping a bit on me. I had dreams that I was fighting with with my wife. So the ego is resisting as usual. Hopping for the best.