Bernard

Yea I screwed the pooch on this one. I was being reckless and casual about the whole thing. I figured because it was a small dose and I have done larger doses before ans was fine, I figured I could handle it. Leo told me something akin to that. I may be misquoting him a bit but he said "you disrespected the psychedelic". Which I clearly did and now I'm paying for it. Even though while on it I was practicing self inquiry and asking "what am I" for a little bit before it happend. I'm starting to think it answered and I didn't like the answer. I'm questioning if reality exists and that's whats a part of whats scaring me and making not care for it. Becauae with rhis information, what even matters? If it partially killed my ego then it killed what kept me grounded.

I see. I feel confused and a few times I did want to die and its when it gets super intense even though I'm not suicidal. I usually feel pain in my chest. That's the most noticeable one. The second would be stomach area but I don't think that one is related to this issue. I could be wrong. To be honest I'm afraid to dive in it as I feel like I'll never recover. Even though I feel it tugging on me.

I have a sense of what you saying. It does feel like the observer as you put it is very vast. But since my experience it's like it's more interested in the vastness than it is for reality. Which would be nice if it where to be interested in reality again.

@Hellspeed How do you cope? Or deal? Did you at least get to the point of peace? How does one fill panic attacks with joy?

By your consciousness description, it feels like I've beem in lover consciousness since my experience. While prior I was in a higher state. By how much I don't know but it was noticeably higher. Lately I have been making poor lifestyle choices(health wise) and this experience as of now motivated me to get myself out of this state by making better health choices. I'm making a grocery list and supliment list as we speak. It's a start. I was more adventurous, curious and eager to do things. It's not that I don't all of a sudden, but i have lost a good bit of interest in reality. Like simply existing feels like a burden now. But I'm trying to ground myself. I will look into those supplements. You actually helped with my list even though I already had L- Theanine and B12 on it. Not the the others. Perhaps its a good thing in this regard that it happend but I can't help but be terrified of my current stare of being. In a way I feel as if I was doing great with my life and on a good trajectory when it comes to personal growth but this experience set me back. It probably didnt but its how I feel.

@Gabriel Antonio What kind of medication? To treat what exactly? Any suggestions?

@non_nothing Thanks for sharing the video. Unfortunately everytime I'm remined of my state I end up feeling horrible. Not sad. But more like my feelings are extremely hurt and fear. I'll give it a shot though

@Serotoninluv yea well that's what actually did it. A trip. Had a few hour long bad experience and been terrified since. How did you deal with it? Ever recovered?

@Serotoninluv The source is that I'm afraid I wont come back. That the profound experience traumatized me. That I will be confused and stuck in this inbetween state forever. That I lost my mind and its not coming back.

@SoonHei I hope it does pass. Its just been a week now and I feel really spaced out but not in a "thinking to much" way. More in a loosing touch wirh reality kinda way.

Is it possible to elevate your consciousness so much to where you're neither here or there? Not sure if its exactly the consciousness that's elivated, but for the lack of a better word I'm using that term. To put it another way, can you end up in a sleep/wake state after the mediation to the point you don't care for the physical world as much? I'm currently experiencing these a week later and it frightens me to the point of panic attacks. What's happening?

I also am trying to figure out an additional thing that is happening that I think might be triggering it. It feels like I care less about the physical reality, and at times not at all. Its like my consciousness/awareness expanded/elevated or simply bot fully present any more and it scares me. That could ve the trigger. What exactly is happening? Why am I here and not here at the same time? Will I come back? Please someone enlighten me on whats happening

@non_nothing Thanks for sharing this. Hes pleasant to listen to

I'm trying to figure out what is happening and seeking to find solutions to my problem. Ever since my last LSD trip(a week ago) I've been getting random panic attacks along with bursts of hurt/dread feeling for no reason and now I'm just wanting to make it stop. Anyone has any idea what's happening and how I get back to my usual self, or evolve past it, get over it? I get that's ultimately for me to find out and perhaps it would help if I talk through it but there aren't many people who I can speak with that would understand so I'm attempting to create a dialog here. Thoughts? Suggestions? And yes its happening now.

@cle103 A similar thing happend to me a few days ago while I was tripping on LSD. Scared the shit out of me. I haven't even fully recovered from it. As I recall, what triggered my terror and panic attack is I felt like I was sinking to an abyss. It didn't feel like a welcoming place. It was vast/dark/empty. Not pleasant at all. Ever since then I'm neither here or there. Feels like I'm semi conscious and in somewhere in between being asleep and awake. I think similar things happend to us even though we describe it differently.