weAREallSCAREDtoDIE

Update: I basically want to be a monk. I don't have much time to sit. I need to bringing these practices in my everyday life. I also realize emotional exercises are vital for a life full of work that is dull in nature. Sure I could use my brain the frame and create meaning in the most meaningless of take, and that is probably not a bad thing to do, but like how a good meditation session leaves a powerful ripple effect of conciousness throughout the day, so does a powerful emotional expeirences. So the act of inducing powerful emotional states are vital to this journey of beyond excellence. My goal tonight: Diaphragmic breathing to a 5-3 count while doing cardio tonight. Will report in

So I started off pretty bumpy. Went to Vegas with a ex-girlfriend and we just played. No meditation done there. I will re-start, starting today. Will update shortly: Day 1: 15 minute sitting meditation About 45 breath meditation while doing things 10min of open 5min inncantions Total:1.25hrs Insights: *sitting meditation is potent as fuck. *it is very obvious that different styles of meditation has different effects on the mind/body. My meditation coach really believes that practicing extending my exhale and breathing into my hooch will change my being. I can see this. *I really want to develop my diaphramic breathing. I can feel an emotional block there. *my ability to sit and focus on anything is about equivalent to my ability to do sitting meditation *I have a good foundation in breath focused meditation, but I don't in other meditations. This is something I want to develop. *This is such an awesome project. It is so true that brining measurements, metrics to things is "terminal vagueness" *I think I can easily make this log into 3hrs a day with, 20min breathing sitting, 20min of a sitting open monitoring form of meditation, 1.5hr of diaphramic breathing, 30min of inncantions or metta

@Hello from Russia Thanks for the reply. "These things you mentioned won't help with addiction that much imo." Some studies would suggest otherwise. I see it as more of a combination of developing a strong coping method, changing brain state which its affects ripple throughout the day, and getting more intouch with sensations (mind body connection). The connection to body is imperative for healing trauma which is highly correlated with addiction. What you suggested is akin to Zen practices, but usually they start most beginniners off with a focused meditation because the ability of quality focus is limited. AKA it is too easy for a beginner meditator to spend 99.999 precent of their time thinking. Which will be a slower progression than first building up concentration. Of course, Zen protocol depends on the teacher, school of Zen and student. So keep in mind variation and not all prescriptions are universal.

I am working on a few things. I am writing a book about food addiction along with workout addiction and it's relation to trauma. A large part of it is about healing trauma and the different modalities to do so. I will have a section in the book about meditation, but I have a hard time writing about things I don't have experience with(just feels unauthentic). I've meditated for 2hrs a day before in my life, but I am in very different place in life. I am looking to see it effects of it here. Ideally this isn't just a log of 2 hours meditation, but somewhat of a place to reflect, organize insights and ideas. I will be playing with a few techniques, but most of the practice will be: *I breath focused, prana meditation *metta meditation and different forms of Tibetan Imagery *I am also working under a David Deida coach and he has me practicing some specific exercises. Here I go.............