Surfingthewave

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Everything posted by Surfingthewave

  1. @ivankiss Interesting account of your sexual exploits. 1) Does this girl know you are posting about sex with her on a public forum? 2) Do you ever ask the women what they want in bed? 3) How about allowing the woman to dominate you. There's a thought. As this is a self development forum thought I'd give you some feedback. 4) As you're posting publicly please refrain from using the term 'sluts' and perhaps have more awareness of how you are describing women. 5) You also mentioned being aggressive and the woman seeming off and uncomfortable. Just raising this because you need to ask for her consent first before BDSM.
  2. What is Pain? Pain can take many forms. Sensation, thought, memories, perceptions, feelings. Anger, fear, sorrow, but also pain can be a comfort. Ultimately pain is resistance to What Is. We go through life analysing pain, theorising pain, avoiding pain, getting addicted to pain. What is the payoff? Not being the What Is. Ultimately pain is a rejection of Love. Allow the Love in. The Joy that comes from this. This week I am Light. I no longer put any demands on the What Is. Light cuts through the dark. Light gives us vision, weightlessness. The more I drop the more Light I am.
  3. Yes and we fall at the first hurdle by clinging. What happens when you no longer cling to or resist what is? What happens when you accept the what is in all its form however painful? What happens when you stop seeking the next moment and fully embrace with Love, the what is? Surrendering is allowing. Surrendering is not giving up. Surrender is embracing experience before perception. But that's impossible the mind says. How do we do this within the constraints of the mind. You continue to seek, however as you so state, you are continually seeking an idea. Let go and see what happens. Let go of the seeker.
  4. @ConsilienceHave more faith in yourself. You're perfect the way you are. Calling someone sexy when on the first meeting isn't ideal. Is out of context and probably threw her a bit. Is kinda old school, cheesy. Don't over analyse your interactions through, you'll soon get lucky. Think law of attraction rather than pick up. Change your frame of reference/paradigm. Ask for Love, believe in yourself more and you'll get it.
  5. Delaying Gratification Why do we avoid the things we really need? According to Scott Peck in The Road Less Travelled it's a lot to do with the kind of parenting we received and how we we may have been given or not given the things we wanted. More importantly it's about delaying gratification. Why does our society suck at this? My mastery hit a few roadblocks in so much that I procrastinate doing the work. But I showed my work to some family members and they loved it, asked me to commission a picture. I am working with my ability to delay gratification. The best way to do this is do the most difficult thing first. The other good way to do this is enjoy the process of mastery, not the end result. The process is the bit where I can experience Flow, a state of Oneness - who cares about the end product. Continuing daily meditation and Yoga Nidra. Vivid dreams, lots of thoughts lots of imaginary scenarios, fear, anxiety. Understanding that Love fundamentally does conquer all. It's not out there, it's inside. The road to Freedom is you, you are the road. External constructs are just leaves falling in the way, sweep them to one side and carry on.
  6. Gratitude What are your gifts? What can you give to others and to the world? The power of Knowing (there is only awareness) is a great gift, and how this can enable you to bring more Love into the world. Being grateful, truly grateful of existence and the gifts this brings can cut through any difficult feelings. How do you feel grateful? Look outside of yourself at the beauty of everything. Savour every moment. We don't know when this will be taken away. The small self will fight to be listened to, me, me, me, me. The power of this path is the shift of knowing that there really is no me, but the illusion of me enables us to experience the beauty of existence. Don't waste this power. My san culpa this week is I am Love. The small me has been fighting and fighting for attention. Headaches, fatigue, emotions, craving, anger, resentment. It's all there to distract you from the beauty of existence.
  7. @SilentTears Thanks bro, means a lot. Moving into fear is the groundbreaking part of this work. The harder it is, the better the payoff, I've found. I'm starting to feel lighter and moving more with life rather than against it. John Lennon once said life happens when you're busy making other plans. Just don't forget to stop and smell the roses along the way. ?
  8. @StarStruck Sounds like you have difficulties around consent. It's not ok to be masculine and dominate a girl without her consent. You are assuming girls want this, this is very dangerous territory and you could get punished yourself. Perhaps you want this, thinking about your previous trauma? How are you addressing this before sex, are you talking this through with the girl first?
  9. A New Hope Yes indeed this is another installment of my Awakening journey. Through Yoga Nidra and meditation practices this past week has brought up another deep layer of identity and psychological "stuff' I have unconsciously been holding on to. I am "allowing" the beauty and love into my life. I am allowing creative expression into my life. As I do I am letting go of this huge piece of me which was definitely one of the heavier rocks in my backpack. Internalised homophobia - what it exactly (source from Rainbow Project.org): Denial of your sexual orientation of yourself and others Feeling you are never good enough Engaging in obsessive /compulsive thinking Underachievement or overachievement as a bid for acceptance Low self esteem and negative body image Being psychologically abused or in an abusive relationship Shame or depression, anger, anxiety (there are many more) This resonates with me particularly the low self esteem, overachievement and obsessive thinking. I was raised in a culture where homosexuality was viewed as wrong. Sad. Illegal. Shameful. Things are changing nowadays but we still have a long way to go. What came to the core during my meditation practice was deep shame. This together with other trauma, well this letting go stuff goes deep. When you "allow" you move towards deep pain and give it loving kindness so it can move through you. Then you can begin to receive what you truly deserve in life, to see the real beauty and love that is there. What is truly there is magical, feels wonderful. The shame, sadness, anger are simply body sensations, feelings that can be dissolved, purified into positive sensations. This is a process, and to start the process you have to sit down and face your fears, sober. If anyone can relate to the above I send you love.
  10. Traumatic grief Loosing my close friend several years ago changed me in so many ways. The death was sudden, traumatic and no accident. I couldn't deal with it for a couple of years, I was able to cry, but I mainly distracted myself by throwing myself into my work and new marriage. It wasn't until early last year at the start of the pandemic when the grief hit me. I was totally floored by it. I suddenly felt the pain of loss I was avoiding. The sadness and pain was unbearable. I had lost a soulmate in some ways, a close friend who was like a brother. When someone takes their own life there are so many unanswerable questions. I felt guilty like I should have done more to help him. I felt unbearable pain I had lost such an amazing friend, a person who was a gifted and a beautiful artist. I realise these experiences shape us and make us wake up to what we have. I see him sometimes when the light hits the trees in early morning or when I hear a certain song. I will always feel love for my friend and felt lucky to have know him. I spend quality time with my current friends and family, I keep them close. As a society we find it difficult to talk about death and ways to process grief. I needed counselling to deal with my feelings I was avoiding. Essentially they were feelings of sadness, fear and pain. As Nick Cave talks about where there is Love there is grief. And yes, I am unimaginably changed. Additional note: It's time to take a step back from the forum and focus on exciting times ahead.
  11. I think you need to have better safeguards in place for vulnerable people, whether you like it or not. I think your site needs to have different levels for beginners, intermediate and advanced. I think you need to step back from the forum, stop getting involved in the squabbling and let the mods do their jobs. I think you need to set up something in person, no more online, change direction. I think you need to continue to work on your own biases and assumptions as a teacher, you could be more humble and non judgemental. Forget marketing tactics just be more authentic. Like what you're doing here. People need to remember you're not an expert you've just had a few more experiences, that's all. You also need to think about how you communicate, newbies don't understand about imagining reality and becoming god. Understand some people are just happy with a bit of self help advice and meditation tips. Be clearer, more authentic but less aggressive.
  12. A letter written to Nick Cave on the meaning of grief: I have experienced the death of my father, my sister, and my first love in the past few years and feel that I have some communication with them, mostly through dreams. They are helping me. Are you and Susie feeling that your son Arthur is with you and communicating in some way? Cynthia, USA Dear Cynthia, This is a very beautiful question and I am grateful that you have asked it. It seems to me, that if we love, we grieve. That’s the deal. That’s the pact. Grief and love are forever intertwined. Grief is the terrible reminder of the depths of our love and, like love, grief is non-negotiable. There is a vastness to grief that overwhelms our minuscule selves. We are tiny, trembling clusters of atoms subsumed within grief’s awesome presence. It occupies the core of our being and extends through our fingers to the limits of the universe. Within that whirling gyre all manner of madnesses exist; ghosts and spirits and dream visitations, and everything else that we, in our anguish, will into existence. These are precious gifts that are as valid and as real as we need them to be. They are the spirit guides that lead us out of the darkness. I feel the presence of my son, all around, but he may not be there. I hear him talk to me, parent me, guide me, though he may not be there. He visits Susie in her sleep regularly, speaks to her, comforts her, but he may not be there. Dread grief trails bright phantoms in its wake. These spirits are ideas, essentially. They are our stunned imaginations reawakening after the calamity. Like ideas, these spirits speak of possibility. Follow your ideas, because on the other side of the idea is change and growth and redemption. Create your spirits. Call to them. Will them alive. Speak to them. It is their impossible and ghostly hands that draw us back to the world from which we were jettisoned; better now and unimaginably changed. With love, Nick.
  13. @Leo Gura So therein lies the problem, which is a wider problem of You Tube. My point is that actually no one is really an expert on here or claims to be. I'm not advocating for a mental health organisation at all. Just better signposting for vulnerable people. I get that these types of forums are social forums and yes a lot of people get a lot out of them. What you've created has evolved into something else. Perhaps think about meeting your members in person like a Satsang or Q and A.
  14. @Leo Gura So why have you got a section for serious emotional problems? If you claim to be teaching psychology then you need to think seriously about the gaps you may have in your approach. I also see this with Teal Swans teachings. This isn't just a place for casual chit chat this is a place where people come with serious emotional issues and may be vulnerable. Sounds like you may need to review the purpose of the forum.
  15. @Leo Gura Do you think after this has happened you and the mods should have more suicide prevention training and/or have a dedicated specialist dealing with this?
  16. Negative atrophy Shinzen Young talks about negative atrophy and how this can sit in the body/mind. Overthinking loop, frustration, anger, shame to name a few. We can ultimately expand and contract these thoughts and sensations through meditation. We can sense the impermanence that is there, especially when there is silence. Ever focused on the silence of a room? We are longing to find something to grasp onto, any mild sense, thought, feeling. You don't have to solve anything. It comes back to itself through source Through expansion, through contraction. Ultimately source comes back to itself, that's when you get the flavour of the no self. Negative atrophy can pass through you. Are you letting it expand or contract ? We like to cling on to it to have something to identify with. Drop it and see what happens. Here's the thing, what about the positive feel. I know I'm wired in the negative hence my quest for self help. But I'm also a positive thinking self obsessive (or was prior to awakening). Had a bit of a realisation around art practice, less ego, more exploration and solid practice is needed. Let go of constant goal setting. Do the work and the work will reward you.
  17. @Mehrdad Sounds like you've activated your third eye. Nothing wrong with this, maybe take a break and come back. There are lots of side effects of meditation, I would seek a local spiritual teacher / meditation guru to advise around techniques. Perhaps try different practices to compliment, think holistically and also have breaks.
  18. Thanks for this thread it's made me think about my own artistic practice. This is essentially every artist's conundrum. I self deceive myself in so many ways to protect myself from sitting down and making art (needing to do the 9 to 5 to make money etc) If you can make music every day and let go of the outcome who cares about success - you're doing your passion, right, living your dream? Wrong, we chase success, fame and fortune and if we don't succeed it can impact our art. Making art is facing your fear every day, and sitting down and doing the work. Like spirituality we like to theorise and distract ourselves from the beauty that is. As an artist you have a duty to yourself and others to create. Make sure you don't give it up.
  19. @ivankiss As an visual artist I can resonate. What comes across is you know what you need. Let go of all the overthinking. Tap into your deep soul, how do you really feel. An upgrade might just be what you need, not materialistically but spirituality. Go on a retreat, contemplate, meditate do whatever you need to do to tap into your inner most feelings. Forget thought let the feelings guide you. Listen to music you love, go see art you love, get those creative juices flowing. When I get stuck, I practice but I also listen to my inner being. I leave my mind at the door of my studio. I go with that and it never fails. "The work of art is born of the artist in a mysterious and secret way. From him it gains life and being. Nor is its existence casual and inconsequent, but it has a definite and purposeful strength, alike in its material and spiritual life. It exists and has power to create spiritual atmosphere; and from this inner standpoint one judges whether it is a good work of art or a bad one. If its “form” is bad it means that the form is too feeble in meaning to call forth corresponding vibrations of the soul… The artist is not only justified in using, but it is his duty to use only those forms which fulfill his own need… Such spiritual freedom is as necessary in art as it is in life". Wassily Kandinsky
  20. The Power of Breath - Ease Yoga Nidra Session - first time I've properly floated away in consciousness, felt a bit like taking psychedelics but sober of course. The Power of the breath can never be underestimated. Not only can it ground you, take you out of fight or flight and take you to the depths of silence - it connects you with the present moment: infinity. Like consciousness the breath cannot be controlled. The breath can expand and contract and can help you Transcend The Self. My monkey mind dissolved into illusion as I became my San Culpa: Ease. Ease of breath, Ease of Life, Ease of living, Ease of awareness. Why must we suffer so when infinity is there for us to experience? Feel the Ease, Feel the Breath. In addition I felt the profound nature of what my hand(s) can create in my art. I look forward to creating.
  21. @Raptorsin7 Hey, yes this sounds promising. The right now is heaven (although the word heaven has lots of religious connotations). Why would we want to avoid heaven? Perhaps as humans we want to suffer, to struggle as this is deep within our conditioning. And perhaps, suffering (avoiding the moment) is a distraction from beauty, from Love. If we can see what is really and truly here in this moment. The moment itself is Eternal and infinite. This took me time to realise (I'm quite obsessed by time). My biggest stumbling block was feeling the absence of this (time). Or the beauty of it's true meaning.
  22. Yield and Overcome When reading the Tao Te Ching, these words seem most impactful, resonated. What does it mean? Empty and be full Have little and gain Too much risk too short a life and too little risk too few rewards To be whole is to be flexible Being whole - all things will come to you I'm on the cusp of a new, more intense awakening. I've had an intense few weeks of emotions mainly anger and sadness brought about by grief. Access to awareness can strengthen, deepen. It isn't a thought or feeling, it is a Knowing. A Knowing which in essence is Love. Where do you find the Knowing? In Silence. The secret is we spend our lives avoiding silence. We create drama, conflict, anything to avoid facing the Truth (in silence). The Letting Go part is really a Knowing. A recognition rather than a struggle. There really is no struggle. There really is no need for thinking and analysing. You don't live your life, life lives you. Really and truly contemplate this. Life is the dancer and you are the dance. (Tolle) When you truly allow this, life can become magical. Move with life, and overcome it.
  23. @FoxFoxFox Is the answer in just doing it, in practice? Are the permanent blissful states you speak of only occurring in a tiny proportion of the population. Be careful of wanting to seek to the next level, why do you think you need this? It sounds like you may need to seek more expert advice.
  24. @Iksander Realising you are not attached to any perspective. You never have been. That's the illusion of the mind.