Surfingthewave

I think you do. Why even make a point about it, you wouldn't if it was a man. Does he? Who says? If you raise the consciousness levels of society these cultural values won't exist. Sorry @SaWaSaurus I've taken over your thread. But clearly we still have a lot of work to do to deconstruct the moralisation of sexuality.

Can you explain this point? Do you mean sex workers, rather than sluts.

I get that sexuality has a survival /transactional function and agree that ultimate aim is to transcend this. Yes sex is valuable to us to advance the self, there is also a deeply spiritual function to sexuality, regarding connection, love and transcendence of the self which can be expressed through sex. Perhaps it's not just about sticking your dick in trees? I don't agree that a woman's value in society is directly tied to her reproductive potential, we've moved away from that in the past 50 years. @possibilities I'm not quite sure I quite get some of your points however I do agree there is so much conditioning when it comes to sex. Also desire is what makes us human, it makes us move towards our goals in life and hopefully to meet that partner a lot of us long for. There is also an underlying desire not to be alone, which serves a survival function and and forms part of the moralistic view on sexuality.

@Leo Gura How have you arrived at this view or are you stating this is what the collective ego projects? There in lies the problem. Absolutely it is about survival, so how do we change these deeply moralistic views?

Great post @SaWaSaurus. I live in the UK so I can't comment on the US but I agree with you about the deep rooted moralisation of sexuality being influenced by religious doctrines particularly Christianity. Absolutely @Apparation of Jack this is further strengthened by popular western culture, the constant depiction of heterosexual relationships, objectification of women etc etc. Here in the UK (near where I live) we are seeing a move away from this which is massive progress. Same sex relationships are accepted more and more and people are realising marriage isn't for everyone. Also it does depend on where you live, polygamy is more prevelant in certain cultures. If sex was discussed more openly then yes, I think this really would impact of people's happiness and also relationships (just take a look at the sexuality part of this forum). I do think sex education in school plays a massive part (or lack there of) mine was shit, pretty much non existent. This is a huge problem because we learn as children not to talk openly about sexuality or relationships.

@kieranperez Shedding deep unconscious psychological issues does get you closer to the Truth, but it comes at a price. It is like breaking through the very foundations of your being, as I have experienced. Sometimes you do need a good therapist to help with this process. Particularly if your family /close ones are unsupportive or seemingly reacting in such a negative way. I'm wary of discussing actualized.org topics with close ones, as you are indirectly challenging their beliefs as well as your own.

@kieranperez The fact that you have opened up shows how authentic you are and how much progress you are making. Perhaps this is the deepest difficulty you face, similar to Leo. He has made massive progress by being more authentic. People do understand but everyone is on their own path at different points, and will have their own triggers and struggles, I know I do. This forum can be a difficult place to express yourself and get a good debate going, because it is, just a forum, and not a face to face discussion. I wish you all the best and keep doing what your doing. Also I just wanted to add, I've unearthed some deep subconscious issues of my own on the cushion, which have been life changing so don't underestimate it's power.

@kieranperez Sorry to get pedantic but perhaps you need to think more about meeting girls and talking to them in real life, rather than how you imagined, as no matter how enlightened you think you are, or how real you would like your thoughts to be, I'm afraid to say it's never going to happen as you so imagined.

@ardacigin What is your goal for meditation? I think it's good to check in with experienced teachers or other meditators once in a while. Further advice for newbies, particularly if you don't fancy the 10 day retreats, meditate every day for 20 mins then slowly build that up to 30 mins. This could take months. Consider trying different techniques (breath work, do nothing, noting etc). When you're able to quiet the monkey mind within five minutes of a sit, consider sitting for hour long sits, several times over a day or a weekend, you can do this at home or go solo somewhere you won't be disturbed. You can easily build these into your schedule. Once a year go to a formal meditation centre for a retreat or session to check in with the teachers.

Yes and that is exactly the problem. This is a great topic that has been derailed by comments about masterbation, but not in a genuine way. Just gets a bit tedious.

@bejapuskas I don't think that is what she is describing. As a teacher you still have a clear role, with all the difficulties that come with it. As a conscious teacher, you play the role in a very different way. I can imagine the battle with your ego about this.

@Shin So why are you commenting on this topic? You've apologised in the past for your comments, I'm just curious to know what your point is.

This is said with love @Aakash but why do you seek such attention to your journey?

What is sexuality @Shin?

@bejapuskasHow do you get conscious? Knowledge and discipline.

@bejapuskas Of course you are, that's the beauty of it, you just play the game, consciously. Once you're more conscious you realise the game of life, and you can play until your hearts content. Passing this on to kids is the highest power. Whether you do this directly or indirectly is up to you.

The Transparency of Things by Rupert Spira. Reality will never be seen the same again.

@CreamCat no idea, sorry! ?

Sexuality is fluid, like any non duality it can merge into one. There is no binary when it comes to sexuality and gender but the world we live it likes dualities so pressure from social norms makes us decide our sexuality from an early age. I think a mature and enlightened person can move between sexualites without judgement, or not feel pressure to "be" any sexuality.

@How to be wise If you're more conscious then so will the kids you teach. The quality of their learning will go up 100 per cent because you'll be with them, in direct experience without judgement, assumptions, conditioning, in their moment, every moment. That's the best education they can get.

@XYZ Lots of food for thought and points I found triggering. You have hit on a very sad but crucial concern of our times, the epic rise in male suicide. I think your points about how men process emotion leading to social expectation and isolation are key. I lost a good friend to suicide last year, he was such a top bloke, one the best, little did we know he was suffering. Trying to understand and contemplate why he chose to do this is still difficult process. I agree that some women struggle to feel positively about themselves and perhaps that is also to do with role models, cultural context and social conditioning. Question is, how to we address this imbalance?

Fear is a sensation, an event in the body. The best way to get rid of it is to illuminate it. Fear can also be a way of showing you the path, if you fear something usually you need to do it.

There seems to be mixed messages on here about this. When going deeper down the rabbit hole what becomes of the ego? To get rid of something you have to be aware of what it is.

"As a woman so she knows" The ego appears to take on many forms, with many layers that tricks itself into believing its own status. When you reduce it to just a state, one can transcend it. I'm interested to hear people's positive or negative versions of ego. @Aakash have you reflected on the role your own ego can play when disidentifying the mind? @Bill W illuminating the ego could begin the path to transcending it. Trying to retrain it might give you a bigger ego, as we have seen. Interesting metaphor used - Neon and the bullets. @Preetom If you are infinite how does this fit in with your idea of a universal ego? @LastThursday Absolutely - all the world's a stage, all the men and women are merely players. This "stage" is consciousness, or the screen of the mind. I tend to have different movies playing out depending on the day. Yesterday it was Neverending story, I'm hoping today it'll be Die Hard.

What is the root cause of your addiction? For example you describe when things 'get tough' you relapse, run away from problems and loose hope. This is life on the path my friend, the push and pull between light and dark. Continue your inner work and you'll not only discover more light and love you could have ever imagined but that you, are the light.