mkieblesz

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About mkieblesz

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  • Birthday 08/02/1990

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  1. About 3 weeks ago I had breakthrough experience on 7mg, vapourgene, 2 thin screens and one thick screen + mullein leaf on top. Now I think more proper way would be to put mullein leaf between thin screens and thick screen, thick screen on top with 5meo on very top, to ensure mullein not burning substance. Mullein just to ensure vaped 5meo, which liquidify, wont escape this small chamber. Not sure about this though. First lighted for 2 seconds directly on ceramic screen with arc torch lighter - recomended method is to keep torch away from screen to not clog it but vape temperature for 5meo must be high Ive read, thats why torch not normal lighter - and then slowly inhaling (slow is making temperature higher), torch flame keeps going. While inhaling I got doubts because I saw mullein leaf getting burned, plus 5meo changed color a little bit from the time I first received the substance. Then looked at the friend with expression close to „shit, I probably burned the substance”. So I started to speak but then realized that smoke needed to escape lunges first. Right after I saw smoke the trip started. For description part, its impossible to describe, after having experience all genuine experiences described by fellow psyhounats/realized people will make sense - not to ridicule any descriptions of course and that experience itself brings lasting comprehension, no no no, it does contribute greatly of course. I really just wanted to share this video, it reminded me about what this experience might have looked like from other persons eyes and its just amazing, I recommend watching it. For me it was more intense/energetic I would say, but essence is I believe the same. And also big thanks to Leo for first video about pua ”scam” and then first absolute infinity video and all other content, including this forum. Definitelly it has very positive impact on me
  2. Hi Viking, maybe grab a sleeping bag and sleep in a park somewhere if circumstances allow. I’ve done it recently and it was refreshing.
  3. Very interesting example of yellow. I've studied and followed him for quite a while, interacted with him personally while having dinner together. I'm quite convinced he integrates stages blue and orange very well, but severly lacking a bone of green. I think it's easy to dismiss him as orange/red. Few interesting facts: core of his approach is cybernetics, he calls himself cybernetic/systems thinker read over 10,000 books his shocking approach is a political game to keep appearing in the media (his words), which is main clash between him and his followers/political counterparts, mainly involves throwing and defending his implications which I didn't like, but was sucked into trying to understand and it's quite deep IQ 168, very in games like bridge (polish country champion), poker, chess, etc., knows maths and physics exceptional memory, quote recolection is like I've never seen in anyone, he is questioned about historical questions all the time and I'm yet to find he didn't answer with some unique insights studied psychology, philosophy, law, sociology and mathematics speaks 9 languages, recently he learnt basics of Chinese, best he knows english although his utterance is not the best very rich life, at 73 he has 29 year old wife and a child with her frequently he mentions Darvin theory and big influence is Adam Smith, Alexis de Tocqueville, Aldux Huxley, 1984 by George Orwell I don't think he delved into spirituality experiencially which is what blocks him to move further. For example I think he doesn't realize that after legalizing drugs like LSD (which I don't think he took), people will turn green.
  4. Yesterday I tried 5meo analy following process described in the post above. Around 9pm I administered 20mg with mild effects. I thought that might be sabotage and will need to give it another try rather then dismissing it this day. I went early to sleep and woke up at 3am. Went to the park very nearby and tried again with 30mg up the butthole. Effects started kicking in in 10 min mark with peak around 40 min in. Hard to describe, there was body load mixed with relaxed/extatic/unpleasant feeling and a lot of monkey mind. Normal heart bit. There was fear of death because body feeling was getting intense. When I though it's over (30/40 min mark) I stood up and started walking I got on my knees and gasped, this lasted around 5min. Also from the beginning chin was pulled upwards, mouth opened while the upper back curved. No clarity though. If I would take away one thing from this trip is this - attachments to the thoghts/ideas/believes/memories/survival which were coming up were making experience unpleasant and this is happening pretty much whole day. Update: day after that I tried smoking 5mg of freebase. It had completely different effect than plugging hcl and it wasn't even 5mg assuming my vaporising method wasn't ideal. Experience was completely different than from other psychedelics I had deep trips. Experience lasted 8 minutes (I had trip sitter who smoked after me), come up was gentle. Throughout the experience I had gentle awarenes of surroundings, although it didn't matter - I lied down on the floor with eyes closed. There was some intention to fight to surrender, but that was surrendered which is different than what I usually did. There was changing breathing patterns (amazing to see how body can breathe), some body movements, shaking and all of that was experienced as something naturaly occuring as if body was healing through being. Upon comedown patterns started reappear and I was back. Deepest and gentlest trip I've had so far. Thanks
  5. 5-meo-dmt experience description attemp by Aubrey Marcus:
  6. Basicaly you need to realize that your mind and ego are dumb from as many angles as possible asap. It takes time and that's why lifestyle changes are needed. Ballz in your court. Hope you will move on and start your journeys. Peace
  7. @jip @Leo Gura @Pinocchio @Emerald Wilkins @jjer94 and all of you guys. I think I should save you from this bs gratitude stuff but I just seem to be doing it so why not. I need to thank you for giving the opportunity to discuss and motivation to dive in deeper. Participation in these discussions helped me a lot to understand what the hell is going on with all this stuff. I can be on my own now I think so I will just try it out. @jip I will treat your response as invitation so bear with me here I think, just from reading your posts, that you don't get this. JM is not advising you anywhere in his books, I will repeate, anywhere to stay in duality. Anything he writes in those books are just baits for you to fight of those hands of ego which are the closest to you. Those hands are keeping you from thinking for yourself. And thinking for yourself will always lead to human adulthood. Only from human adulthood you can seek truth realization. Those 2 stages can happen at the same time or, probably in everyones case here, one after another. Human adulthood is nothing else then facing facts and not being afraid to dive deeper. It's not to realize the truth of no self or have anything to do with it. It is just plain simple thinking. But becoming human adult is not achieved from desire anyway. Those terms are only created for you to look for the next question and live as an activity rather than actor. Nothing else matters. Human adults and realized beings are working very similary and actions you need to take to get to one or another are the same. How to get to human adulthood? 1. Kill all Buddhas. That's it. Realize that any teacher, any guru, any enlightened master are just characters in your dream, nothing else. And any word or pointer or technique or exercise they might tell you to do are just that, dream state BS. So once you get this you can move past them - think for yourself. Any "happy" and with any "purpose" rich dude (Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, Buffet etc.), actor (Pitt, Cloney, Jolie etc.), succesfull athlete (Stephen Curry, Jordan, Messi etc.), self-development guru (like Tony Robbins, Leo, etc.). normal "chill" people (rural families, LA new age families, hindu religious families, european families etc.), hot and intelligent girls (instagram hotties, victoria secret models etc.), lifestyle gurus, people with a lot of sex and "great" relationships and lifestyle and everyone you ever looked up to are not really happy. They just lie to themselves that they are and I don't want to waste my and your time to destroy them, because you need to see it for yourself. The reason why it's possible is because they see superficial change in other people but change is based on their own experience (unhappy). Once you know you will also know that any purpose in your head how your life should look like or any activity you are doing during the day is because you took it one way or another from those people. And you will see for yourself that it is BS because of basic facts (see the second point). And then discontent will start to sink in. You will see that you have no way to grab onto other peoples meanings or to pile them up in any way to have a meaning to you. Life has no meaning (or any other basic fact) is profound and only honest people, those who are willing to transition to Human Adulthood, will get this. Anyone who will see will have no other choice and to do this you need to discover it for yourself. That's why it's a lonely game, not because you need to drop friendships, but you cannot rely on anybody elses thinking. All self development is about doing things, not trying to convince yourself to do them. Trying things out. That's it and you don't need anyone to tell you where you should start. Bigger problem is with spiritual gurus. The problem is because they are human adults - they simply looked at the facts from the second point, nothing else. They had those insights in their lifes and that's great. They feel certain way (bliss, unity, compassion etc.). Ok. But it won't help you. This will distract you just like every other endevour/meaning of "succesfull" people. They got there not because they focused on bliss but because they had some insight, probably very pathetic life leading up to this point. And what are they doing is just sharing their experience (pointing at the moon, not the rocket which will take you there). So they have this weird ego which tells them to share their experience and deludes them at the same time that it will get you to the same place. They are not serious people. They don't give a fuck. And if they are "there" it also doesn't matter because they are run by marketing teams, spend like 4 hours a week what is available to public and the rest is personal or they might just wander in forests lol you cannot know and it doesn't matter. The faster you will get here the better. And I said they are human adults, not truth realized on purpose. It doesn't matter who they are. I can be a 4 year old kid and give you better advice how to get there where they are than they can. You can stub your toe and get better insights than they can provide. You basically don't have any idea what the chances might be. They only way is for you to get personal insight. And any insight might only happen from your own understanding. And this can happen only through thinking for youself. Thinking through lense of basic facts, not basic facts presented by other people. 2. Realize basic facts (those are just pointers their purpose is to kill all Buddhas or more succintly your attachments to them). life has no meaning nothing else exists but here and now - consciousness IS and nothing else it’s always here, it’s always everywhere and anytime, it’s all everything has a purpose, even if the purpose is to be "big and playful puppy" but you have no control over it because there is no "you" to control and all of this is bs anyway because the question is still here - it needs to be an insight so don't conceptualize, just check for yourself if that is true thinking for youself is the only way to go because yourself needs to be sorted you can die any moment (like being hit by a bus, car crash, nuclear war, armagedon, virus, cancer, whatever) 3. Change your lifestyle. This is just my example. Your will be totally different depending where you are stuck. Dos: release the tiller above everything else (become observer/activity) and breatheeeee remove all notes/calendars/trackers, you don't need them, this is just poop your mind created and it will just obstruct your life where it should go - you have no control work 4 hours a day (minimize to minimum or work more but only if indicated) rest, walk, drink water, eat healthy do SA/contemplation anytime I feel like (without internet) and sent via emails to anyone who will be willing to read (it doesn't matter if he/she will) when reading books quickly asses first if the writer get basic facts, hone your BS detector to laser like precision, don't waste any time experiment, do things differently, mindfuck yourself and see that your mind is dumb, just a robotic reaction and is nothing in comparison to the real life Don'ts: don't use internet apart from work (limit to minimum anyway) don't reread notes Reminders: trust that when genuine moment of longing for truth will come I will know what to do - go for the whale remind basic facts from different perspective again, don't think about other people, I can remove you from this earth and nothing will happen. Just think for yourself. This is what it takes. Ballz in your court.
  8. It's crazy and I think everyone should learn from that - not that I'm too naive to believe than anybody will. I considered "myself" to be much more intelligent than most of the society (based on school, job, biz ideas and conversations) with people. I also considered "myself" possessing ability to put myself into other people's shoes. And I need to admit that I missed that one too. I actually read through it (didn't skim) but my mind didn't understood that I had it all laid out in-front of me. This simple insight from today morning should happen yesterday ahhh haha this is crazy shit!
  9. I've seen the forum but I initially assumed it was a sect of JM's beliebers lol I saw some posts under "Jed Mckenna" username and though it is total maniac who tries to play the role for fun, just like sometimes little girls or boys try to play the role of another gender on chats just to experiment haha I dismissed it totally. I will take a look now PS. Ok I sniffed around and the forum is very good, thanks!
  10. Jeezzzzz... I totally missed that one. I also checked https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pupa#Chrysalis. This made me a bit shocked at first and after a few moments I started laughing... oh well
  11. This is exactly what I'm talking about - remove this notion of trying to take enlightened perspective! It will just make you frustrated and won't allow you to make progress. Read JM books and take adult perspective. Hope you will come to this realization quickly.
  12. I thought I had this subject resolved, but I was wrong. I just thought myself into this tiny belief. My current answer is, I believe strongly it relates to anyone in this forum and 99.9% of people around the world - stay in the park but wake up within it! Become human adult above all else. I didn't get what JM wanted to convey, mostly because I had this natural scepticism towards his attitude in the end. I thought pressure of "undeniable facts" JM was presenting was just that, cool-aid without reconciling another enlightened paths. But I see clearly now that I WAS WRONG and I am quite convinced. I see that most people here I wrong too. He was exactly hitting the point which needs to be hit upon and the point which is not hit upon by any other enlightened teacher/person directly really. If look closely they actually are hitting on it but it goes under the radar because there is not enough focus on it. Because of that their teaching is a fluke, it doesn't bring results it should bring - make people become adult and face the facts with personal insights. In fact it is extremely simple to understand once a person has an insight. I know, everything is easy then The thing to understand is that, please bear with me here, you CANNOT CHOOSE truth. Wanting truth is just mentally propagated interested in goodies disguised with "genuine truth seeker vibe". Wanting truth is impossible. The only thing possible is to totally hate this ignorance (our own and other people) so it will give enough power to plow through. Then we can get done fast - few years. Every day 30 min meditation is not going to get us there, no way. Not because it doesn't help, but on the deeper layer it is dishonest. We try to get to truth but we actually want to get the goodies even if we want to get to the truth, and on and on. The faster our intent will get more genuine more progress we will make. And our genuine intent is of human adult - mystical shmystical union, fulfilment of our genuine desires, higher intelligence and much much more. This requires to not leave the park but forgetting about leaving the park! Because this intent is not genuine so it will create frustration. And yes, it will change our paradigm and probably we will be enlightened if we will keep tugging on it, in.... 20-40 years if we will be lucky to find good teacher and have personal insights. All because we will have this fake persona which will create obstruction to having personal insights of our true nature which can only happen when releasing the teller. My conclusion is here (I don't want to copy/paste).
  13. @Pinocchio after I woke up I have new insights about Jed books and how it relates to those guys. I think it won't be anything new to you but it was new to me. The whole thing about distinguishing between human adulthood and enlightenment is crucial. I could never wrap my head around this, I was coming closer and closer, but now it makes sense. These dudes were pretty serious from the start, probably more serious than I am now + they had great teacher. They spent 37 and 26 years as truth seekers, journey mostly through frustration. Even if their life was still probably continually getting better it wouldn't matter to them, because they were aiming for truth or at least they said they were so the next moment they were probably already in "truth seeking" frustration. Although they were seeking truth with a great teacher it took them sooo long! So my nature of discontent is simply not of the nature of genuine truth seeker. This is serious shit! ""I guess it makes more sense to figure out what's true first, or else what does it matter?" she says. "First things first, right? I mean, once I figure out what's true I can still try to achieve unity consciousness, right?" "Wow," I laugh appreciatively, "good answer. Yes, figure out what's true and then you can do whatever you want." Good answers aside, Sarah has not really made the decision she thinks she has. One doesn't select truth-realization over mystical union the way one chooses soup over salad. In fact, one doesn't choose enlightenment at all. If anything, one is more likely to be the victim of it, like getting hit by a bus. Arjuna didn't get out of bed that morning hoping to see Krishna's universal form, he was just having a bad day at the office when the universe flashed him." -- Jed McKenna, Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing Some people here think that it is possible to enlighten within few years and I believe it is possible. The only path I see though is Julie's path from Jed Mckenna which is probably not indicated for any of us, sorry. His books makes total sense now. Awakening within few years needs to be like this, he tells average person needs to face around 700 battles, each one more grueling than the previous one. It takes time and is possible only with laser beam focus (minimum other activity in life). This makes sense if discontent would be genuine of longing for the absolute and total disgust with ignorance of others - being alone. If not, these 700 battles will be immersed in frustration and the person won't move even an inch forward - time wasted. Following what's indicated (releasing the teller) is the most important thing we can focus on in this thread. And it is much better to focus on becoming human adult and leave this "truth seeking vibe", which let's be honest here, is mentally propagated, not genuine at all. Watching Leos videos on this, being interested in benefits enlightened people get, being interested in truth, reading books about truth and all that are just puny mentally propagated interests maybe combined with some discontent and maybe even low self-esteem. Fuck that. Let's be honest and admit that we want the goodies and leave truth behind. I will speak for myself and I know the world will unfold what my destiny really is, but I am way more interested in the goodies than sole, absolute, undifferentiated, non-experiential, non-personal, without bounds truth. This sounds interesting and I would like to experience it soooo much, but it is not what I would want delivered in the package it comes with - leaving everything behind. Right now I may believe I do want that, but any serious, continuous contemplation on that fact leaves very little doubt to me. So if I will focus on truth I will be just frustrated bloke who doesn't know what he is doing and I won't make progress. Human adulthood makes sense. Because I actually make progress in my life and even if I know, conceptually, that human adult also moves me closer to truth anyway. It is the only way I can move toward truth actually because the type of work is the same, but not as intense and without obstruction - I can remove truth from my sight and stop being frustrated. This is so important, because our honesty matters from the moment we wake up. This is how progress can be made. And if the moment comes, the moment of desperate longing for truth I will know. Releasing the teller will do the job and I will naturally follow what universe wanted - less like a self-centered robot, more like an observer. Focusing on adulthood though will lead me to live my life of substantially better quality without this frustration of not finding it, unless I will die soon This is how we can stay sane and move forward. I can't speak for anyone, but I feel quite strongly that almost all of us here are not in the situation of honest, desperate longing for truth. Even anyone who is desperate/low self-esteem should, I believe, focus solely on becoming human adult and not truth realized being. This will rise self esteem. It has to because of higher consciousness, acceptance, purposefulness and integrity. @Pinocchio This whole thing actually might explain why people who seem to share enlightened qualities are not sharing path to enlightened truth, why would they? 99% of people don't want to get there and saying so will just create frustration and they won't get any benefit. Becoming more conscious makes sense though and if anyone will come closer that would make sense. We would need to meet those people personally to get better perspective and if they would see this discontent in us they might react totally different than in the video/group meeting. Of course from my point of view better case would be if they could more succinctly describe, a difference like Mckenna did, but they might be just enjoying their life because if nothing matters and they have nothing more than ordinary life in this bizarre condition of being a human being why would they care about sharing the truth? Especially when sharing could actually bring more harm to "not so genuine" seekers? I think they are producing very little adults anyway in comparison to energy put into this "being present kind of guy", because "present" should be replaced by "honest" in every instant, but why would that matter to them? They see positive change in people and they are probably not treating their speeches seriously at all! It is speculation, of course, but it is also perspective you might not looked closer before. My current personal goals regarding this topic (many of them are based on notes from JM actually): focus on releasing the teller above everything else (observer rather then actor, activity rather than a thing) love the fact of my death, imagine dying frequently so I won't get caught in fake ego cravings/aversions seriously work on developing "healthy" discontent towards egoic behaviour/inauthentic desire (opposite of releasing the teller) so I will make progress rather than think myself into making progress which is impossible breathe, rest, drink water, walk and use my alone time to contemplate and continue to surgically remove beliefs which are causing my mind to wander/egoic behaviour instead of being present (thinking what to do is always worse than just do/exist) pass it on by sharing vibe of an human adult and helping others if asked (not sure about this one because it might just distract releasing the teller but it feels like a genuine desire to me for quite a long time) Attitudes: trust that nothing is chaotic in my world and everything has a purpose, even if the purpose is to be being "big, playful puppy" treat releasing the teller above truth seeking, possibly forget about this whole thing about truth treat releasing the teller above ego want seeking (money, relationships or any value I might have), but keep in mind that I have those values trust that when the genuine moment of truth longing will come I will know what to do - go for the whale trust that consciousness know much better what's good for the organism and any words from any book won't make up for it (if they will my body will recognize it or universe had a better purpose so be cool with that even if my death might be involved) accept the fact that I am lonely and I will feel this way in future, this is obvious fact I see right now but forget to see when distracted with robotic pattern remember the fact that awareness is the only thing there is but I don't know anything about it because it just exists and everything I think about it is what arose from that awareness so why quibble Series of don's: stop treating other people as ignorant/robots not because they are ignorant, but that I am the same as them so why the fuck make any problem out of that (another great insight from Art Ticknor - he told that his body is no different than reaction so there is no way to make the body act different than react) don't waste any time with spirituality per se (move down the list of what I value) or just replace the word spirituality with "adulthood" don't try to think myself into removing beliefs/ignorance - rely only on personal insights which will come from surrendering/releasing the teller stop focusing on what I value, releasing the teller will do PS. If you guys have any suggestions please post them! Peace
  14. @Pinocchio One of the things which shocked me is was bit about "our organism are only capable of reaction". I heard about this concept but never really considered it and after watching until the end it gave me new perspective. 25m grabbed my attention (where the interview starts off). The thing about questioning and that the mind is getting bored with it unless it's connected to the emotion currently expressed. This is exactly the same as JM was saying - there is only one question in any moment. That's why when I am distracted with "normal" things in life/obstruct universe's invisible hand/currently run robot program which causes obstruction I can't progress because the thing is designed from the start to not move closer. And I don't need to go meditating to do it, just working while keeping that in mind will do the job - this essentially should be called meditation. From my own experience it needs to be fueled by negative emotion not triggered by low self-esteem, but genuine longing, as he described, for "real me". This is new way of looking at discontent which doesn't change much but feels somehow exciting to me Same as JM he also rejected any other way to get to the truth other than by coming closer to it (there is no way to skip unbecoming). I sort of knew that but I see many on this forum still believe they can experience "non-duality" which will somehow stick what I considered. So great perspective because I've never really heard people who speak strongly and clearly about this subject who are not looking like maniacs (UG for example). I heard about Rose before but dismissed him then. It is basically perspective of sincere, westerner seekers, not experience looking addicts.
  15. Amazing interview. To me it gave great perspective in relation to the topic we are discussing here!