now is forever

did anybody ever include the vacuum in their calculations? if i vacuumate something it presses together everything tightly so why are some masses pressed together more tightly than others? and why are the ones that are pressed together really tightly have more gravitation than the ones that don’t let themselves be pressed together tightly? how does the vacuum even exist? maybe because the universe is expanding? it’s really funny i can imagine that... it would somehow also fit the homeostasis problem. and how was it again black holes don’t rotate?

talking about vulnerability opens myself up to vulnerability again, too. and i realize my heart is like a wound i carry around, it feels like this hurt yearning spot and i don’t know if it will ever heal again.

@tsuki my ego likes that - but you know i can’t do much except eating with chopsticks and walking with chi, that’s what i‘m really proud of. except that i‘m also lost most of the time and depend on conciousness to arise from outside, a lot. that’s sometimes really difficult as some people especially men often just don’t want to talk about matters that could concern me - so how could i navigate? i think it’s really nice that you opened up to vulnerability! even though the experience was rough! love is also the feeling of being needed to survive, seing how you need someone and how ugly that feels for the other if you are pushing the other away, who is equally in need of your love. love has different qualities, there is the body/heart quality and the mind quality. they are different and you seem to have a lot of questioning/mind love, it‘s a little stronger than the other one, but it can also help a lot! as long as you work on it, it might be the trip was not the worst experience at all. your wife seems to be the benefactor in that sense i‘m a little bit jealous in general - i‘d wish i had a partner who would be aware of this like that. so for your relationship sake don’t loose that insight too fast! hope you are not taking it bad, that i show own wounds while you are showing these really fresh ones. hope it can hint to some positive aspects of realizing these mechanics in your own direct experience.

@tsuki mhhh some of it reads quiet funny. maybe you need to learn to eat with chopsticks? that’s less brutal.

yes moma bubbles differently than times square said peter. but what if times square would bubble moma?

so maybe it’s about this - don’t know though how fresh all of it is, maybe you need some time until you can reflect it better! maybe it is all still oscillating wildly and need to settle a little more. to put peaces together we need to gather the peaces first!

@tsuki hey, sorry i wasn‘t writing earlier - had some issues with logging in today and then my useless brain almost skipped remembering...it’s not always this bad, both, my brain and tripping! i‘m sorry it cracked you up. do you want to tell something about what happened? the work now is the most important, may it be a good or bad experience! why do you say you look up to us including me? why does that not include you? you helped me a lot here, so i wonder why it should not include you? did we not agree that it’s on eye level? so translated it means you need us now - i‘m sorry i let you hang alone for so long!

so i wonder if there are many bubbles in a soda can, what happens if the content of one bubble melts with another bubble. but in one bubble there might be more co2 and in the other there might be more o2. or what would happen if from square one all the bubbles in a soda can would contain only o2? or are there vacuum bubbles? bubbles that vacuumate the the whole soda?

i like this one as a graphic very much!@oMarcos paul would be just a pointer. (or a christmas tree). so in any dream machine the questions is: what’s the dot.

@Serotoninluv i guess you need to ask paul if he is awake then!

yes paul is just an alien

so there are many different layers of reality in a big city and on top of that you have the dream machine. but underneath the dream machine is that what is real in a city, so if paul would be interested to see the dream machine and the city, paul would go maybe to see both... but therefore paul needs to explore the city first, maybe paul even is not so interested in the big big dream machine but more in the tiny ones. his friends would maybe live in brooklyn and that’s where he would start - but then manhattan and central park are also very interesting. maybe he would just fall right into the city out of the dream into the dream, inbetween just a yoga mat.

@Aakash yes, but it’s alone a matter of success or failure to understand that failure and success are not bound only to intelligence that’s building.

@Aakash what do you want a time machine for you are already one. your car is one a train is one a plane is one. it’s just one that usually transports you only into the future, a sooner future or a later future. one that‘s happening or not at all.

but in a sense it is material/spirituality as it is not explainable without matter.

it’s a matter of applying random pattern to a situation or not. understanding the conceptional beauty in a random pattern created by brahman and applying that beauty to another situation or intervening with that pattern in a not intrusive way is a form of infinite beauty recreation that is either voluntary or involuntary, random or not random brought forward to the eye, ear, nose, mouth, hand - seen or unseen. so random and beautiful design are of one and the same. you could say a teapot could not pour tea if it wouldn’t be able to be filled with it in advance. but then the shape of the teapot and the decision of what tea to pour is not the teapots alone. understanding the beauty of a random teapot that’s understanding beauty in discernment.

i wondered how often a mind can blow, but i also wonder how often a heart can brake or how many deaths we can die - is this about aging, about growing up completely or is this only about questioning too much? expecting too much, dreaming too much, getting swayed too much by the sweetness of theoretical possibilities? some emotions in this world are too sad or too euphoric or too happy or too contradicting to be lived, at least openly - that’s why there is music and theatre and art and dance and even design - because every suffering in this world only exists because of love, if there would be no love there would be no suffering, because love exists - so why do we then not try to get rid of love, then we could also get rid of suffering? but that’s completely impossible, trying to rationalize it down or to controll it, or to kill it off will just lash back 10 fold as where that love had been before will be an inversion of being. so i decided just to „be“ right now the love issue is something i‘ll figure out while being.

what is the metaphysical anatomy of running away? i asked myself today. even though sometimes we think we have a goal and we think we know and we think everything would be better if just there was this or that better in our life. do we really run away or do we just change location? it’s interesting to see that - or is it sometimes even worse, that we run into problems by focusing too much on things we want to change but are not really able to and in the long run it would be better to accept some issues? focusing on problems doesn’t always change the problem. it’s one of the big questions that seem to never get answered. is it the same as with stepping out of the matrix to step right into it? trying to step out of a problem to step right into it? so is it only the way we are coaping with the problem that makes the difference? is it only about the learning effect if we then face more problems than before? at one point we definitely have to make decisions and solve/face whatever problem has arisen, even if it is more problems/trouble than before. sometimes if we face running away realistically and think things will fall together „if i just believe“ we realize by approaching them that they fall further and further apart the closer we look. is this fear or is it discernment or is it for convenience?

the ego is a size shifter, just realized that. it takes on the size of the perspective we take. if i feel like a child it is small and fragile, if i feel like a woman it is strong and soft if i feel like the world it is vast and protective. it takes on the size of what we swallowed indeed. i‘m not sure about it’s outside appearance though. maybe it looks different from the outside than from the inside. it’s the mirror problem - we try to see what’s there but it’s always just a mirrored image.

if i like to climb trees and protect the ones who are less strong then me or are soft and fragile is that feminine or masculine. i guess i have a lot of masculine attributes, too. if that is not what can unify men and women.

@thesmileyone i would be interested in what way a matriarchy is oppressive... to know in what way a matriarchy is oppressive it would be interesting to have an example of a matriarchy that is opressive. it is like with every theory that as long as it doesn’t exist you can’t really say what it is, as it doesn’t exist. so matriarchy is alone a concept that is a vague cloud in our minds. the same as democracies and patriarchies have different effects in different countries or on different people, in the same way a matriarchy would have. new feminism is much more healthy than it was some 40 years ago - but it would not be without the forefighters who created a path for it - so i believe if there really are voices who try to let the thought of matriarchy rise it is to streangthen female selfesteem in society and it is highly irrational to think women will try to take the sole rulership over the human race, it’s just absurd to give in to a „threat“ like that and just shows how low the male selfesteem in a patriarchal society really is. the beauty about matriarchy is that it can trigger a healthy male emancipation from patriarchy if properly integrated, as we all know it can’t equally stay a patriarchy as it is.

@Krisena brahma can not be logically integrated as brahma holds everything that was and ever will be already from the beginning of time and creates itself out of itself out of pure nothingness. because brahma loves nothing and everything at the same time. brahma does not discern but holds discernment in itself and reveals discernment through itself.

@Seed yes, i‘m playing word games in the same way you or anybody else plays, i‘m just so free to free myself to do so.

@Seed no one is missing out on her! if you would read the posts without being so defensive you could see that. but is a person beyond questioning because the person is a gem? are you not a gem yourself? is not everyone here a gem, some more polished than others? you know in the end maybe the unpolished monkey is the better human - or the polished human is the worse monkey. no one is completely free of getting corrupted. if anybody thinks there are humans who don’t, didn’t realize how monkey that is.

@hellojohnson go to berlin, berlin will get you in the long run and fuck you up if it’s that what you are after. berlin will just fuck you in another way if you are out for it. but be aware that everyone gets treated the same way, so maybe you need to leave your pants at the entrance and better not accidentally enter a dark room. that‘s not dirty talk it’s just that i think what every big city will do with you if guys are so weird taking videos with girls next to them to show their assholines and sell it as a dream on how to get the biggest asshole. i‘d just recommend shanghai - it’s really big and you can experience a lot there in sense of what is labeled as dating. you could make a sport out of not getting catched by a trickster!