now is forever

how is this tale different to the tale of a hero? so what would the hero do instead?

the tale of the little nazi. the little nazi was a child like everyone else. he wanted to play and have fun with other children and he loved his mother and his father. but something happened while growing up and that made him different than the others. he was told he was special, what would have been ok if it wouldn’t have been in a very ego like manner, they told him he was better and superior to others. they told him he was part of a group of special people with a special skin tone a special religion a special way of understanding life, by listening to the tales of their kind. and those people are chosen to rule the world one day. well not exactly they told him one was chosen to rule the world and if he became one with the one he would be worth of their love. at the same time they treated him like he was nothing. maybe his father even slapped him for playing with the children that didn’t belong to their group. or he slapped him for not parading to his rules. he tought him how to hold others low. and of course he wanted his fathers love so he started to pick fights with other groups. while he wanted their love, too. and because he didn’t get their love, because his glas was never full, a bottomless pit, he tried to press it out of them like his father did. always the leader for the weaker, always creaping in front of the higher ups, taking every order they gave him, taking everything for granted an outhority said. and stepping on every one who didn’t want to give him his kind of love. so he started to slapp others, always in a fight for power. they told him one day he could be the one because he could become one with the one on the tip of the iceberg or even the one on the top of the world that ruled over all the people, the ones with power and the ones without. he would not change anything except for being the sole ruler, he would hold them in check with the methods of fear and manipulation. his country and his people where the chosen ones by a higher power, an authority of truth (he never proved that). and when he grew up he went out trolling around like he was already the king of the world because he was part of the chosen ones. he tried to enslave free speach he tried to enslave the world by making it looking up to him. and thought he could do what he wanted - his people always rectified it. his goal always rectified it. but he also was nothing without people following him, because he couldn’t find peace in his self. because he couldn’t find love anywhere. the little nazi had a family of his own, too. when he went out trolling in his military shoes, in the jungle of lowlifes, where he decided what animals are to be shot and what animals should survive, he brought the dirt back to his home and let the lower hierarchy ones clean up after him. so to speak his family. they didn’t know exactly what he was doing out there because that changed from day to day. but the dirt was often bloody and they didn’t understand if the blood was human or animal blood sometimes. they never spoke up. and his prays didn’t hount him back, not in reality and not in his dream and because no one spoke up and no one hounted him he climbed a mountain of corpses.

you said that related to a human being with a darker skin tone related to a conversation. you said all of that in a context. while you are neglecting the context. you just try to sneak of by playing the innocent, while you said some really racist stuff from the perspective of a black person. you deny it was sarcasm related to the post before. if you deny it, it’s obviously a racist comment. it doesn’t matter, i don‘t even want to fight with you, because i guess that kind of love is lost on you. if this would have been my private party, guess i would have washed your head completely, maybe shaved it, so you could have had a clear view into the mirror. but not to be misinterpreted as a buddhist hair cut. that’s something else.

yes maybe - but i just moved to the most multicultural area of berlin.

@Zweistein sorry i really have to bleak my teath here.

@MrDmitriiV sorry to say that, but you are sounding exactly like the neo nazis in germany. sneaking around not wanting to look into the mirror. that might be a presumption but while we are at the facts i just wanted to state that. i can understand that you are having a tough time and i‘m really sorry for you but i really, really can‘t accept that kind of argumentation. and that might be a human ego but at least it’s humane.

@MrDmitriiV your quote from the other thread referring to mooji: @Rilles He isn't black, but semi-black. That's a big difference! Maybe the guy just spent a lot of time sun bathing))) i guess that’s a fact you overlooked while wiping. i‘m really too tired to do that for you. and i guess i‘m not someone who looks away.

hahaha, yes a naked tea party ? let‘s not look away if someone entered fully dressed.

you are constantly trying to teach others and think you are very wide up on the ladder. but then you are not aware of what you are talking about, fuling racist conversation. at one point you are taking what leo says as a reference to support that you are right, but when it’s against your ego you try to neglect it. so where is the selfreflection? then you entering the selfreflection area of someone else who is throwing an enlightenment party for her friends, by bringing in unreflected dirt. i‘m just pointing at your ego manners. if you are not aware of what could have been sarcastic in your choice of words in the closed thread, i guess it was racist. and that’s dirt pointing to not being even close to yellow. you are still on a tea party though.

maybe deciding if we can handle it at the moment, because once you get involved it’s difficult to step back again. observating if they can handle it alone? deciding on the interdependence of our action, where does it lead to if we are not stepping in. and involving them in their own mess, means letting them clean it up by themselves. in that sense pointing at the mess.

@Zweistein mhhhh what to do if they just show up and involve you in a mess. maybe it’s the other way round. yes i guess we can‘t help that, it’s an instinct.

@MrDmitriiV i never talked about jokes. and i told you i won’t drink tea with you. why should i tell you something you don‘t even try to figure out yourself? if you didn’t understand what i‘m referring to with sarcasm, i guess you are a little racist, in what dimension i don’t know. (look at what you‘ve written in the thread yourself) you are contradicting yourself. in that you didn’t wipe your shoes. it clearly shows.

@MrDmitriiV your jokes are either too sarcastic or you just think that way.

@MrDmitriiV you didn’t wipe your feet before coming in...

yes, thats why the mirror analogy is more a symbol for the boundary between yourself and the outer world. it’s important to get it right where the mirror sits at the moment. understanding someone completely is difficult sometimes but feeling for/with others not so much, if you can open up to others. i have so many nice experiences with underground artists and people living on the street during the last weeks. i get information from them you can’t find anywhere else because they live one of the hardest truths and i try to give them at least attention. realizing they are giving me while i give them. no pity involved just communication and a few coins that can make a difference. one poet/philosopher read me a poem in the subway, i got a very new newspaper about solidarity, and i bought a man without teath and toes a coffee because that’s what he wanted. couldn’t almost understand what he was saying. with people in my direct sourrounding, i try not to force myself through with thoughts, but sometimes we have to. and sometimes just feel with them without pity but with accepting their needs and simple wishes. that’s very complex i know... i just realized that we sometimes have to get through by all means if we need to disconstruct some patterns or hierarchy. so what about you @allofyou where does the mirror get a door? it‘s like in school without teachers, hehe. guess it’s a rethorical question... @MrDmitriiV just saw you post some rasist stuff, i guess a cup of tea is lost on you if you don‘t clean it properly of your ego, guess that’s your true dark side. i don’t drink tea with racists, sorry that’s a clear boundary - and enough to reflect on.

@Zweistein guess we started to have a houseparty again in your house. should we move the party to another place, maybe too many people for a journal? maybe it will even get bigger than 4. @MrDmitriiV why are you introducing yourself like that? it feels like a no, no, no, no to yourself. i guess you think you know what is making the cold appearance - maybe you do it because you know it...? how should someone approach you with that attitude? it leaves people speechless. i guess it’s nice that you are breaking that circle here, though. question is just: and now? you basically jumped out of a cake and said ta da. here am i - i‘m ice cold. guess we are having some hot tea with that, tsuki already set up the water. you want a cup?

i‘m not sure - i guess it’s not exactly unobservation... that makes psychological needs show up. people tend to learn or do a lot of shit if unattended completely with a lack of selfobservation. i find the nosepickers in cars good example. so in that sense the needs show up. yes observation or attentiveness is the most important tool... but you need to have some basic tools for observation first. not sure if we are talking about the same psychological needs...

yeah @tsuki that’s an infinity loop! they had something like that in the samsung museum of modern art in seoul. can’t remember the artist. really nice finding that not in a museum, but on your own! i guess you watch other people and your surrounding and of course, we do watch our thoughts about them... but maybe we can admit - if there is something like understanding, we watched not only our thoughts about them. and there is still a lot of other unproven possibility.

for the goal setting, i use to set one yearly goal for the really big stuff. and try to do something good for the body/health/mind every day at least half an hour (abhyanga or yoga or meditation) today was trampolin jumping on a playground in front of the house for the inner child. the rest i work with systems like mindmaps. it’s still under construction. so i guess it depends on what you want to integrate and what kind of work you are doing.

surrendering with codepending. counterreacting with complete surrender to the wrong. surrendering with blind counterreaction. codepending without counterreacting to the wrong. not questioning the right. not shifting perspectives. not accepting codependency as an interdependency of body mind soul vs or with the world. not accepting, that this is a lifetime job you will be never done with.

despite all open questions, entering reality means some shame coming back on the assumption of possibilities. this whole time here was like a summer mega trip - no plane could bring you there i guess. but maybe it was one or two planes in the first place. if a trip is that exciting how can you go back into reality, without taking at least some pictures with you. how can anyone go back to the old self afterwards. so i’m codependent to this forum now - it’s a form of addiction definitely. but how to disconnect entirely and focus on dreaming reality if you started to question reality in general because the new dream is the old dream just different, or the new reality is the old reality just not so different. still trying to think about the whole codependency topic. but maybe i just write that on paper.

@see_on_see what did you expect from @FakeEnlightenment

@Zweistein dito. the problem just is if you created codependency in your external world or someone created it for you, you have to resolve that, too. or try to figure out where it’s healthy and where not. because we are all interdependent with our surrounding. guess that’s creating at least some boundaries, while opening others.

no wait a minute, who is the bubble? have you created a bubble? you just entered a bubble with thinking that. you are always a co creator... co dependent... there is no way you created that on your own. it’s nice though you want to take responsibility. but that’s a bubble, too. don’t load the whole bubble on your shoulders. that’s collecting stones again. i mean stones on your heart. just stop trying to heal the ego’s wounds of others. if you can - they are responsible for themselves. you always try to pour water on plants to make them grow. but the ego has to be cut off, of the water source first to realize it’s own source. see i’m also talking about half knowledge, it’s because we never know for sure what we create before we have created it. i don’t know, but would it help to let others trample on your ego, but not on your selfesteem? try to forget the shame it creates if you get trampled on, just have a good lough and learn. (guess it’s the you=i=we again, that is such an amazing insight, have at least some pride in understanding that)

@Jamie Universe never try to cure a real narcissist. would make you a codependency at one point - you would question yourself over and over again. hahaha some people would think that’s exactly what i need... you see how this is a trap? just contemplate on trump and you see the effect. (but no narcissist is the same, they are still humans, that’s the whole point, some are more humane than others) you might also contemplate about resiliency. @Cortex sorry for that kind of talk, if you are already selfaware of the fact that you are a narcissist it makes you a better person, have some selfesteem in that!