Hi, I'm 22 years old, I'm italian. I have a very deep question. I study medicine and I simply love it. I love digging deeply in the subject and everything related to the scientific world is for me really fascinating. I want to spend my energies on it, but I'm struggling with my thoughts from a couple of years. My thoughts are mainly aroung guilt. I feel extremely guilty for the millions of animals that are killed maybe in awful ways. I always have in my mind scenes of these poor animals killed. The fact is that I love eating meat, I love doing barbecues with my friends and I love mozzarella and pizza margherita. Stop eating meat would also mean stop buying certain shoes, certain clothings, stop doing scientific research with animals, stop buying certain medical drugs. I think that stopping eating animals is a way towards ocd for me. In my life I have other feelings as: " I have to help the bums or else I feel distressed, I have to help my friends or else I feel distressed, I have to do this or else I feel distressed". I always have these thoughts of guilt that stop me from being happy. Two things helped me: meditation and Leo's video on morality, but I think I have to internalize it more. I would be glad if you could give me a hint on the path to follow. Thank you very much.
